is an act of endless
a tender look
which becomes a habit.
promising reconciliations have broken down
both parties came prepared to forgive,
neither party came
prepared to be forgiven.
The Toltec tradition tells us that we surrender a
portion of our life force
when we dwell on any unhealed wounding event from our past. The
unprocessed emotions surrounding these events burden us and weigh
heavily on our hearts. They must be dealt with if we want access
of our vitality. Ultimately, what we will find is that
is the key to reclaiming all the life force locked in past hurt.
Be assured that if you knew all, you would pardon
Thomas a Kempis
To err is human, to
Forgiveness is the answer to the child's
dream of a miracle
by which what
is broken is made whole
what is soiled is again made clean.
Love truth, but pardon error.
Forgiveness enables you to bury your grudge in the icy
put the past behind you.
You flush resentment away by being
the first to forgive.
Forgiveness fashions your future.
It is a brave
and brash thing to do.
The gutsiest decision you can make.
forgive others, winter will soon make way for springtime as fresh joy
pushes up through the soil of your heart.
Forgiveness is a stunning principal, your ticket out of hate
I know what regret feels like; Iíve earned my credentials.
But I also know what forgiveness feels like, because God has
so graciously forgiven me.
Forgiveness frees you of the past so
you can make good choices today.
forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love.
return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.
The practice of forgiveness can play
an important role in your relationships
with others. Forgiveness will enable you to correct distortions in
and to improve the quality, intensity,
and meaningfulness of relationships. It means
of past resentments toward others so that you can
in the present. Even if you do not "feel"
like forgiving someone, forgiving them
will release you
from the hold of the past and allow you to experience the
in a new way. To forgive is to step outside the
vicious circle of interpretation,
where concepts from the
past dominate experience, and to begin to live in terms
of a larger, more worthy purpose. Forgiveness eliminates
and anxiety, weakness and vulnerability.
Forgiveness is not
an occasional act;
it is a permanent attitude.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dost thou wish
to thy neighbor.
Many of us
understand giving, but some of us may still be confused
about the meaning of forgiveness. Some people may go through
life in a groveling mode, mistakenly believing they have to receive
forgiveness from others. Forgiveness offers more than a reprieve
granted to us by another person. True forgiveness is a process
giving up the false for the true and allows us to rid our thinking of
rigid ideas. We can develop the flexibility to change our mind
our behavior patterns to higher and greater expressions and
find new avenues to freedom.
Worldwide Laws of Life
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it with fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft, deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.
And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.
quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place
it is twice blest;
It blesseth those that give,
and those that take.
Forgiveness is at the
heart of a healthy and happy life. Forgiveness protects
relationships. It also protects the person who does the
the story that psychiatrist and
author Robert Coles tells
about Ruby, the little
integrated a Southern elementary school. Every day the
had to escort Ruby through a mob
adults who spat at her and called her hateful
the five-year-old girl did not seem to be
by the ordeal, a fact that puzzled
Cole until he discovered that Ruby prayed
asking God to forgive her persecutors . . . . Forgiveness
is a method for giving
love. It is a way of saying,
"I am going to let go
of the wrong you did; I am not
going to be bitter and I am going
to go on loving you
Let us be merciful in
our mental judgments of our brothers and sisters,
for, in truth, we
are all one, and the more deeply they seem to err,
more urgent is the need for us to help them with the right
and so make it easier for them to get free.
God heals through forgiveness and
asks that we do likewise. Attack is an easier response
than forgiveness, and that is why we are so tempted to
give into it. Throughout our lives we have seen more
anger than examples of true forgiveness. Forgiveness
does not mean that we suppress anger; forgiveness means
that we have asked for a miracle: the ability to
see through mistakes that someone has made
to the truth
that lies in all of our hearts. . . . Forgiveness is not
always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the
wound we suffered, to forgive the one
that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. Attack
thoughts towards others are attack thoughts towards
ourselves. The first step
in forgiveness is the
willingness to forgive.
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believe that the most important thing to consider when thinking about forgiveness is the effect that
it has on ourselves. Forgiveness isn't always about the person being forgiven; often, that person will
have asked forgiveness and will be very grateful when we do forgive, but probably more often we
need to forgive for our own sakes. I've carried around anger and resentment for a while, and I've
done so quite often. But the thing that always took it away was the realization--usually later rather than
sooner--that my anger wasn't affecting the object of my anger at all, but it was affecting me a great
deal, in a very negative way. I wasn't sleeping as I could have been, I wasn't able to focus on the task
at hand as well as I could have, I wasn't able to relate to other people effectively.
I have to admit, I still get
angry and I don't always forgive as I should, but I try--I don't want that negative baggage to carry around
with me. I want my view of the world to be a view filled with wonder and awe, and carrying a grudge
taints that view; I'm the one who suffers from my own inability to forgive--just as I'm the only one
who can save myself from that suffering by putting things behind me where they belong.
Today I forgive all those who have
ever offended me.
I give my love to all thirsty hearts,
both to those who love me and those who do not love me.
are they who cannot
Pardon one another so that later
on you will not
remember the injury. The recollection of an injury
is in itself wrong.
to our anger,
our sin, and hates
what is good.
It is a rusty
arrow and poison for the soul.
Francis of Paola
that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must
be saved by hope.
Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete
sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore
saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our
or foe as it is from our standpoint.
Therefore we must be saved by
the final form of love which is forgiveness.
forgives to the degree that one loves.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
|There's no point in
burying a hatchet
if you're going to put up a marker on
you haven't forgiven yourself something,
how can you forgive
is the key to action
|We don't have
choices about who our parents are and how they treated us,
but we have
a choice about whether we forgive our parents and heal ourselves.
think so many of us are too hard on ourselves for what
didnít accomplish or what we should have done. The first step is to forgive yourself for all the
things you didnít do that you should have and all the things
that you did do that
you shouldnít have.
Get rid of the guilt.
donít do you much good.
The way to deal with them is
to forgive yourself and
forgive others. . . .
helps you come to terms with the past. I've learned how
to forgive myself, and this has helped me
no longer feel deep
regrets or sadness about my past.
on forgiveness. It definitely
works reciprocally. When I am able to forgive
myself--which is not always easy--I am kinder
to everyone. Including myself.
Forgiveness means letting go of a hurtful
and moving on with your own happiness.
baby girl, feeling his attention shift away from her, reached
forward and grabbed his nose. Gently he freed himself
and continued the sermon. After a few minutes, she took
his tie and put it in her mouth. The entire congregation
chuckled. The rabbi rescued his tie and smiled at his
child. She put her tiny arms around his neck.
Looking at us over the top of her head, he said, "Think
about it. Is there anything she can do that you could
not forgive her for?" Throughout the room people
began to nod in recognition, thinking perhaps of their own
children and grandchildren. Just then, she reached up
and grabbed his eyeglasses. Everyone laughed out loud.
his eyeglasses and settling them on his nose, the rabbi
laughed as well. Still smiling, he waited for
silence. When it came, he asked, "And when does
that stop? When does it get hard to forgive? At
three? At seven? At fourteen? At
thirty-five? How old does someone have to be before you
forget that everyone is a child of God?"
God's forgiveness was something easily understandable to me,
but personally I found forgiveness difficult. I had
thought of it as a lowering of standards rather than a family
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|Forgiveness of self is where
all forgiveness starts. If I am unable
to forgive myself, it is impossible for me to truly forgive others.
And I must forgive others. What I give out is what I receive.
If I want forgiveness, I have to give forgiveness.
forgiveness will become easier when we learn to empathize and
apologize; when we admit we are human too, capable of wrongdoing;
when we make allowances for circumstances we may not understand;
when we have faith in the basic good of personkind, when we are
willing to start again with compassion and without grudges. The
Hebrew word for compassion is derived from rechem, meaning
womb. The inference is a new birth, suggesting a fresh
fresh start brings with it a deeper understanding of the futility of
grudges, expectations, and unresolved hate and anger
and renews our hope in the power of love.
Loving Each Other
is the perfume the trampled flower
casts back on the foot that crushed it.
| Why do we do
this? We forgive in order to dissolve our attachments to
the past. Although an offense in our life may be long past, we
continue to battle the memory, which becomes a burden that weighs
us down and prevents us from moving on. In the battle, we might
judging the wrongdoer for his or her "badness." We
might be planning
how we will get even or punish the offender. In forgiving, we
from the battle. We free ourselves from the past, realizing that
getting even, and judging do not heal. We stop insisting that
the past be
changed before we can again be happy, and we instead take
for our present happiness. Paradoxically, in releasing the
we gain greater control of our lives.
Glenn R. Schiraldi
10 Simple Solutions to Building Self-Esteem
Forgiveness gives us the capacity to make a new
start. . . And forgiveness
is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get
with dignity, to begin anew. . . In the act of forgiveness we are
our faith in the future of a relationship and in the capacity
of the wrongdoer to change.