choices
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| Of course, if we're
talking about choices as an obstacle to living life fully,
then we're talking about bad choices. How often have you
regretted a choice that you've made because it's turned
out badly and you or someone else has suffered
considerably as a consequence of a choice that you've
made? How often have you seen friends or family members
or other loved ones--or even total strangers, for that
matter--make choices that you knew were going to be
harmful to that person and to others, but they've gone
ahead and made the choice, against all advice? It happens
quite often, doesn't it?
One of the biggest causes of friction between parents and
their children is the fact that parents want to help
their children make choices so that their kids won't make
the same mistakes that they did years earlier. Basically,
though, in trying to help their children avoid pain and
other consequences of bad choices, these parents are also
robbing their children of the ability to make choices. They're
trying to control their children's actions and have them act in the
precise way that will allow them to avoid problems, and then they
wonder why the kids feel uncomfortable with the control.
Once a choice is made, any
other possible choices are moot. They can't be made any
longer, for the situation never will be the same. A
similar selection of choices may present itself in a
similar situation, but any choice we make causes change
and turns the way things are into the way things were. Many people, though, spend a great deal of time and
energy in regret, wishing that they had made a different
choice somewhere along the line, wishing that they hadn't
chosen the course of action that they chose.
They don't realize, though,
that the only way to deal with any choices that we've
made is acceptance. The choice has been made, now deal
with the consequences--don't regret the choice. Of course,
if our choice was ill-advised or if it caused pain or
anguish to yourself or others, we shouldn't just shrug
our shoulders and say "oh, well." We need to
learn from it, and we need to direct our energy towards
dealing effectively with the consequences, and not direct
our energy towards feeling bad or feeling sorry for
ourselves.
We also can't let one or
two--or even ten or twenty--bad choices keep us from making
choices in the future. Accept the fact that some choices
have turned out badly, but learn from those choices and
move on. The person who won't enter into another
relationship because of the person or persons who treated
them badly before doesn't realize that he or she made a
choice to be with that other person, and that instead of
sabotaging their future happiness, they should learn from
the error and focus on choosing to be with people who
will treat them better.
Don't let yesterday's
choices hurt your today and your tomorrow. Don't let your
fear of choices prevent you from making effective ones. Accept that you will make mistakes, and make sure you're
ready to deal with any consequences of your choices or
actions. We all face choices every day, and billions of
people make billions of decisions every day, but billions
of people also deal with consequences--and there are many
wonderful consequences to choices--every moment. |
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The difficulty in life is the choice.
George Moore |
The more alternatives,
the more difficult
the choice.
Abbe d'Allainval |
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Not
all of your decisions will be correct. None of us is
perfect. But if you
get into the habit of making decisions,
experience will develop your judgment
to a point where more and more
of your decisions will be right. After all,
it is better to be
right 51 percent of the time and get something done,
than it is to get
nothing done because you fear to reach a decision.
H.W.
Andrews
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Choose
always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be;
custom
will soon render it easy and agreeable.
Pythagoras |
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You
may find merry-go-rounds tame. Perhaps your life is more like
a
roller coaster ride. That's okay, as long as it is the ride you
want to be on.
Maybe you enjoy the highs and lows of the roller
coaster. I have fun
on the merry-go-round, where I can meet
people of all ages
and we can talk while we ride. The kind of
conversations and interactions
I like are impossible when we are
alternately shrieking or tense with anticipation.
But if that
kind of life is truly your choice and makes you happy,
then go ahead
and ride the roller coaster.
Whatever ride you choose in the carnival of life, just remember
to stop,
now and then, for a rest and refreshments. And those of
us
who are carousel riders should definitely take a break whenever
the
merry drops out of the merry-go-round.
Bernie
Siegel |
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In
any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing,
the next best thing is the wrong thing,
and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
Theodore
Roosevelt |
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You
are the person who has to decide.
Whether you'll do it or toss it aside,
You are the person who makes up your mind.
Whether you'll lead or will linger behind,
Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar.
Or just be contented to stay where you are.
Edgar
Guest
Know how to
choose well. Most of
life depends thereon. It needs good
taste and correct judgment, for which
neither intellect nor study suffices.
Baltazar
Gracian |
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Over
the years I have come to believe that life is
full of unchosen circumstances, that being human
has to do with the evolution of our individual
consciousness and with it, responsibilities for choice.
Pain and joy both come with life.
I believe that how
we respond to what happens to us and around us shapes
who we become and has to do with the psyche or the soul’s growth.
Jean
Shinoda Bolen |
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What is right is often forgotten by what is
convenient.
Bodie Thoene |
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The
greatest power God gave us is the power to choose.
We have the opportunity
to choose whether we’re going to act or procrastinate, believe or
doubt,
pray or curse, help or heal.
We also choose whether we’re going to be happy
or whether we’re going to be sad.
Lou Holtz |
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The
need to make wise choices encompasses every area of our lives.
Since we have time for only a limited amount of stuff, we need to
choose
wisely what stuff we're going to allow to take up that time. Since we
have
only a limited amount of time to spend with friends or to engage in
leisure
activities, we need to choose our friends and our activities wisely.
Elaine
St. James |
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We
can choose to gather to our hearts the thorns
of disappointment, failure, loneliness, and dismay
in our present situation.
Or we can gather the flowers
of God's grace, boundless love, abiding presence,
and unmatched joy.
I choose to gather the flowers.
Barbara Johnson |
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Happiness and love are just a choice away.
Leo Buscaglia |
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| What
lies in our power to do, lies in our power not to do.
Aristotle |
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