I've done some rather rude and obnoxious things myself in the course of my lifetime.  I've made quite a few mistakes in judgment, and other people have suffered because of my mistakes.  I've made people feel horrible.  I have to say that I do feel guilty about that, but I don't let the guilt grow so predominant in my life that I focus on it instead of my day-to-day life.  The people at alcoholics anonymous (of which I've never been a part, but I have read a great deal about their programs) have the right idea in having people apologize to whomever they can about whatever they may be carrying in the form of guilt.  Apologies set us free--now the ball is in the other person's court (please pardon the cliché), and that person can do with it what he or she pleases.  I apologize when I can, and when I can't, I apologize mentally and ask for that person's understanding, forcing myself to realize that the situation is out of my control, so there's no use dwelling on it.

But that's guilt for things that we've done and are conscious of.  Much more difficult to deal with is the guilt that comes from negative family situations--the abusive parent for example--that forces a young person to carry guilt into adulthood about things over which he or she has never had any control at all.

This concept was very well illustrated in the film Good Will Hunting.  If you can get past the vulgar language in the film (which did nothing to further the plot or define the characters, unfortunately), you see a film that captures the torture that young people put themselves through over guilt of things past.  How many times does Robin Williams have to tell Will "It's not your fault"?  He has to repeat it over and over because Will is dooming himself to a life of misery because he's not able to deal with the subconscious guilt he's been carrying around for years.  When he finally is able to admit to himself that it isn't his fault, he takes off and starts a new life, one that we hope won't be shaped by guilt.

The Catholic church for years depended on guilt to bring people into the church and to keep them giving.  For guilt produces fear, and fear of God or God's wrath is an effective tool for "bringing people to God," and many religious types still use this type of tool to "keep their flocks in line."  It's pathetic, for instead of teaching God's love, they're preaching God's anger and judgment and punishment.  This use of guilt was just one of several reasons that Martin Luther decided to break away from the Catholic church in an effort to reform Christianity into what it should have been.  Several centuries later, many people still haven't gotten the point--God doesn't want us to feel guilty about our mistakes; He wants us to learn from them, make amends for them, and move on with our lives.  If you hurt someone today and you make amends for it, you're going to be a much more sensitive person tomorrow.  That's the type of person who fits into God's plan, not the guilt-ridden people who are socially inept simply because they aren't allowing themselves to move past something that's happened or that they've done.

I've done plenty for which I could carry around a ton of guilt.  But if I do that, I cannot serve my fellow man at all, for I'll be so caught up in what's happened in the past that I won't be able to focus on the present, which is where they need me to be.  If you're carrying around guilt, make amends.  If you can't apologize to the person, write down an apology and let out all that's in your heart--then burn it or throw it away.  Let your guilt go with it.  Maybe it was your fault, but no loving person would want you to feel guilty for the rest of your life over one incident.  A spiteful or vengeful person may want that, but recognize that person for who he or she is, and don't allow that miserable person's desire to continue to control your life with the puppet strings of guilt.  Move on.  Live in today.  Be a help to those who surround you.

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