31 August 2010  

   
I feel my heart break to see a nation ripped apart by its own greatest strength--its diversity.

Melissa Etheridge

Diversity is not about how we differ.  Diversity is about embracing one another's uniqueness.

Ola Joseph

Human diversity makes tolerance more than a virtue; it makes it a requirement for survival.

René DuBos

   

Hi there--thanks for being here!  We're at the end of another month in our
lives, about to start the newest month with a completely clean slate.  What
kinds of things can you think of or do now that will make the coming month
one of the best months you've ever lived?

Kiss Your Life
Leo Buscaglia

Filling the Hole
Iyanla Vanzant

The Art of Acceptance
tom walsh

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Kiss Your Life
Leo Buscaglia

I don't know about you, but I don't feel that it's my vehicle that is essential.  I don't know about you, but I don't feel that it's my education that is essential.  I don't think what is essential about me is my house or my car or my clothes.  What is essential about me?  Well, I think what is essential is that I live and embrace life right now, wherever I am.  I grab it in my arms!  Don't spend time crying about yesterday--yesterday is over with!  I forgive my past.  I forgive the people who've hurt me.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life blaming and pointing a finger.  I get so sick and tired of hearing people gripe about what their parents did to them.  You know what your parents did to you?  The best thing they could do.  The best thing they knew how, the only thing in many cases that they knew how.  Nobody has set out maliciously to hurt their child, unless they were psychotic.

Can you forgive?  Can you forget?  Can you say it's "OK"?  Can you say, "They are people, too"? and you take them in your arms and embrace them?  Then take your self in your arms.  Find out again that you are special, that you are unique, that you are wondrous, that in all the world there is only one of you.  Hug yourself, you sweet old thing!  Sure you've screwed up, and sometimes you do dumb things and you forget that you are a human being, but the most wonderful thing about you is that, no matter where you are, you have potential to grow.  You are just starting.  There is only this much of you now, and there is an infinite amount to discover and to find!  Don't spend your time crying!  Forgive others!  Forgive yourself.  Forgive yourself for not being perfect.  And accept responsibility for your own life.

Nikos Kazantzakis says, "You have your brush, you have your colors, you paint paradise, then in you go."  Do it!!  Take orange and magenta and blue and purple. . . and green, and yellow--and paint your paradise.  You can do that!  You can do it right now.  It's your life that is essential.

I don't know how many of you are acquainted with Arthur Miller's wonderful play called "After the Fall."  It's probably one of the most underrated works of American literature.  He wrote it right after the suicide of Marilyn Monroe, who had been his wife, and he tried to ask the question I tried to ask myself earlier, and that maybe many of you have asked yourselves:  What could I have done to have saved someone in my life?  This was a play that said, "I have to learn to forgive.  Others and myself."  In it he has a beautiful thing that I'd like to share with you.  One of the healthier characters says this:

"I think it is a mistake to ever look for hope outside of yourself.
One day the house smells like fresh bread, and the next, smoke
and blood.  One day you faint because the gardener cuts his
finger.  Within a week you're climbing over corpses of children
bombed in subways.  What hope can there be if that is so?

"I tried to die near the end of the war.  The same dream returned
to me each night until I dared not go to sleep, and I grew ill.  I
dreamed I had a child.  And even in the dream I felt that the child
was my life, and it was an idiot, and I ran away from it.  But it always
kept climbing into my lap, and clutching at my clothes, until I thought,
if I could kiss it, whatever was in it that was my own, perhaps I
could sleep again.  And I bent to its broken face, and it was horrible.
But I kissed it.  I think, Quentin, one must finally take one's life into
one's own arms, and kiss it
."

Fantastic statement.  It doesn't matter who you have hurt, if you've learned not to hurt again.  It doesn't matter what mistakes you've made as long as you don't make them again.  As long as you learn, as long as you're willing to take your life in your own hands, and kiss it and go on from there.  Then there is growth.  Then there is life!
   

Living, Loving, and Learning
 is a delightful collection of
Dr. Buscaglia's informative
and amusing lectures, which
were delivered worldwide
between 1970 and 1981.
This inspirational treasure is
for all those eager to accept
the challenge of life and to
profit from the wonder of love.

   

Living Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement.  Our articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live life.  Take
from them what you will, and disagree with whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you each week.

  
  

   
  
Filling the Hole
Iyanla Vanzant

Somebody left you, and now there is a gaping hole in the middle of your soul.  The question is how are you going to fill that hole?  Are you going to fill it with the painful memories of how you got hurt or got left?  Or are you going to fill the hole with memories of the many moments of joy and laughter you had together?  Are you going to fill the hole with anger, resentment, fear or shame directed toward the one who left?  Or are you going to fill the hole with appreciation that you do have an opportunity to choose how you are going to fill the hole?  Are you going to fill the hole with the countless reasons why it should not have happened to you?  Or are you going to fill it with the courage it will take to accept that it did happen to you, in this way?

Are you going to fill the hole with at least one ounce of confidence that you can handle this, whatever it takes?  Or are you going to fill the hole with the self-defeating belief that you can't or will not make it through or over this hole?  Are you going to empty all of your self-value, self-worth, and self-esteem in to the hole until it becomes a pit of self-pity, self-doubt, and self-inflicted nonsense that keeps you in a hole of despair?  Are you going to throw yourself into a hole and dare life to try and move you?

You can cover the hole with love and prayer and acceptance of your ability to step over or walk around the hole.  You can also step back, take a little break and wait to see the Self that emerges from the hole.  The choice is yours!

Until today, you may have believed that you had to stay in the painful hole of hurt caused by the loss of a loved one.  Just for today, make a conscious effort and choice to cover the hole and move on.

Today I am devoted to covering the holes
and filling in all the gaps in my life!


This book of 365 daily devotionals supports the time-honored adage, "Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?" The charismatic spiritual leader Iyanla Vanzant knows how easy it is to stay stuck in "old sentiments, resentments, beliefs, decisions, agreements, judgments, and ideas that may have become habitual." Through these devotions Vanzant hopes to show readers that the easiest way to create change is to simply shift your attitude--today.

  
 

  

The finest gift you can give anyone is encouragement.  Yet, almost no one gets
the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential.  If everyone
received the encouragement they need to grow, the genius in most everyone
would blossom and the world would produce abundance beyond the
wildest dreams.  We would have more than one Einstein, Edison, Schweitzer,
Mother Theresa, Dr. Salk and other great minds in a century.

Sidney Madwed

   
Eyes Wide Open
tom walsh

The Art of Acceptance

In this moment, right now, things are as they are.  And there's not a single thing we can do about the way things are.

There really is no argument about this point.  We can look at a situation that we don't care for--the dirty dishes are piled up on the sink, for example--and do something about it for the future, but right now, the dishes are there, no matter how unpleasant we find that situation.  I can decide right now to wash them, but that will not change the fact that they are there now.

And it's not until we accept the fact that the dishes are there that we actually can do anything about that fact.

Dishes are easy, of course.  They're something that almost all of us deal with, on one level or another, all our lives, every day.  Accepting the fact that there are dishes that need to be washed is simple for most of us--we see them sitting there, and we know why they're there and what's needed.

Of course, people who hate doing dishes and avoid doing them at all costs practice a form of denial, not allowing themselves to accept the fact that this chore simply needs to be done.

But most of us practice this denial on other levels.  The way that we're treated at work is terrible.  Our spouse or significant other has left us.  We've been laid off.  We're in severe financial trouble.  We're failing a class.  There are tons of things in all of our lives that we don't want to face head-on, because doing so, we think, will expose some sort of failure of ours, some sort of shortcoming that might humiliate or embarrass us.

And because we tend to practice denial instead of acceptance, we find ourselves unable to deal with these elements of our lives effectively, unable to move on to better things in our lives because we're still being held down and held back by those things that we aren't able to accept for exactly what they are.

I was among a large group of teachers who were laid off for financial reasons a year and a half ago.  One of the things that made our situation more bearable was that we got together as a group to face our plight head-on.  We accepted our situation for what it was, and we talked about the best ways to move on from where we were.  And while the following year and a half hasn't always been completely positive, one thing that wasn't a part of our lives was leftover pain and resentment for our situation.  We were let go, and we accepted that and we moved from there to making other plans and searching for other work.

If you come out of a restaurant and find that someone has smashed into your car, it's very easy to get caught up in the emotion of the moment and the situation.  But will being angry and wanting revenge actually accomplish anything productive?  Usually not.  What accomplishes something is accepting the fact that this terrible thing has happened, and then working on your options for action from there on.

I know plenty of people who have a hard time accepting things.  Parents have a hard time accepting that their kids think differently than they do about things like sex and religion and relationships and work.  Spouses have a hard time accepting that their husbands or wives are interested in pursuing interests other than their marriage.  Acceptance is even harder when what we're being asked to accept isn't physical, isn't visible and tangible.  It's easier for me to accept a tree falling on my car than it is to accept a friend borrowing my car and crashing it.

Acceptance doesn't mean passivity.  It doesn't mean being a victim.  It simply means seeing and recognizing how things are and realizing that we need to decide what to do based on that, and not on how we think things are, how we think things should be, or how we wish things were.

And there really is no better reason to pursue acceptance than the fact that accepting things allows us to create a much more positive and enjoyable life for ourselves.  When we accept, we don't spend time trying to make things other than they are--instead, we search for the most effective way of making what is a part of our lives.  If we don't like what is, then we can work to change it--but in working to change it, we can't deny the fact that what is, is.  It's that denial that holds us back; it's the acceptance that allows us to move forward.
  
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We are here to feel, wonder and gaze in awe at the world.
Instead of just teaching our children how to use things
and do things, I suggest we nourish their sense of wonder.

Bernie Siegel

   

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Happiness
Edward J. Lavin

Contentment is a balm, satisfaction is a friendly embrace, but happiness is a warm glow and tingle that arise from the health of both mind and body.

We all want to be happy, yet how many of us can with certainty declare that we are?  We all have little happinesses that raise us up out of the mire of our daily struggles.  Perhaps we should be content with these small gifts, for the quality of perfect happiness is an uncommon state.

This little caution is a warning to those whose life is a perpetual search for the perfect happiness--a holy grail that requires an immense effort.  It is not found in a clean bathroom, although the TV commercials want us to think so.  Nor is it found in money or health or friends or lovers or travel or small packages.  These may lead to small happinesses, and blessings on them all.

Perfect happiness is a well-regulated hierarchy of spirit, mind, and body.  The order is important, and anything that disturbs that order ruffles the surface of the lake of happiness.  Unregulated desire, as the Buddha knew so well, is a heavy stone dropped into the lake; equally disturbing is the tendency to forget about the spirit and to concentrate exclusively on the mind or the body.  Perfect happiness is not to be found in the leaps of aerobic movement nor in the dense concentration of scholarly research.

Yet we must not despair.  Perfect happiness is our birthright--it is only that we must work at it.
   
   
Wisdom comes most easily to those who have the courage to embrace life
without judgment and are willing to not know, sometimes for a long time.
It requires us to be more fully and simply alive than we have been taught to be.
It may require us to suffer.  But ultimately we will be more than we were
when we began.  There is the seed of a greater wholeness in everyone.

Rachel Naomi Remen

  

   

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