| It's
rather astonishing to see just how few quotations are
out there that give a positive slant to the concept of
compromise. Most of the words we've found about
compromise treat the idea as almost evil, as if we lose
our humanity as soon as we even consider
compromise. If we compromise, people say, we're
settling for less than we deserve or we're showing
weakness by not being willing to push to get exactly
what we want.
This
seems to be a dangerous trend in the minds of our young
people, who are being taught to be intolerant of
anything except what they want. We read story
after story about teens who feel they deserve the very
best of everything, and who are unwilling to compromise
and accept anything but exactly what they want.
They seem to be taking lessons from people like Elbert
Hubbard, who said, "It is the
weak man who urges compromise--never the strong man."
What
a crock. Some of the strongest people in the world
have been masters of compromise. Mother Teresa,
Mikhael Gorbachev and Nelson Mandela come to mind.
Compromise
shows a willingness to try to understand that there are
other options available other than the ones we've
originally considered. It's a willingness to
consider the validity of other people's perspectives, to
consider the possibility that someone else may have a
better idea than we do. If I "back down"
and agree to see the movie my wife wants to see instead
of the one I originally wanted to see, what have I
lost? Absolutely nothing, and my willingness to
compromise has more than likely helped our
relationship. It's certainly helped me to feel
more peace of mind.
There
are some things that we never should compromise,
especially our ethics and our values. But such a
compromise means that we're making a decision to do
something that directly contradicts what we know to be
ethical. Compromise can be one of the most
powerful tools available to us in our quest to lead a
full life, as long as we can learn to recognize when
compromise is appropriate. Compromise means that
our happiness isn't tied to a certain outcome or course
of action, which frees us up to be ourselves, and to let
others in our lives be themselves, too. |