The first step toward getting out of a
self-imposed victim role is to recognize the choices you
have. As we celebrate America’s Independence Day, we are
reminded of how hard our country has fought for that freedom of
We learn at a
very early age that if we act a certain way, we will achieve a
certain result. Often the result we opt for is safety. And safety
is necessary to preserve our physical well-being. However, our
desire to be "safe" sometimes paralyzes our ability to
exercise our free will. From childhood on, most of us have been
programmed to "play it safe," and this often affects the
choices we make as adults. We tell ourselves, "That was so
disappointing before, so I better not take that chance
Do you allow
your fear of hurt, rejection, or failure to determine how much
risk you are willing to take? What is the cost of doing this?
Perhaps you're stuck in a job or career path you hate, or you are
in a relationship that does not serve you, or you've chosen not to
pursue a relationship you want. Do you struggle with low
self-esteem and self-confidence? If so, you are probably severely
hampering your ability to manifest what you want in your life by
convincing yourself that you should not try, or that you do not
deserve what you really want.
strongly influenced by disempowering emotions. By learning to
recognize and step out of experiencing these emotions, a whole new
world of possibility will be available to you.
I know this
from personal experience. For 13 years I chose to stay in a
stressful career that I did not find fulfilling. The more time I
invested in that career path, the less at choice I felt. At one
point I took an exam to receive a special certification in my
field. When I passed the exam and was certified, I felt like there
was no turning back! I told myself, "I can't leave
this field now…look how much I've invested in it!" And
besides, I had no idea what else I could possibly do. Fear held me
back, until one day the pain of not making a change
outweighed the fear of the unknown.
The truth is
that you will make mistakes. You will make wrong decisions.
You will experience regret…and you'll live to talk about it.
The key is to surround yourself with people who will support you
regardless. So give yourself permission to make mistakes and
learn from them!
When we focus
on our values -- what is most important to us at the core -- we
are more at choice and less at effect. We have the freedom to
choose based on our own values, versus being influenced by
limiting beliefs, circumstances, or the opinions of others. When
passion, talents, and skills intersect, there is no limit to the
attended a University of Washington medical school alumni awards
dinner, where they presented a humanitarian award to Dr. Isaac
Pope. He was recognized for his work as the director and
founder of Pope's
Kids Place – a non-profit organization which provides
respite care for caregivers and families of children with special
health care needs. After Dr. Pope was presented with this
award, he told the audience, “My riches are not measured by
money. My riches are measured by my commitment to work,
community, and self.”
I wonder how
many of us can honestly say that we measure our riches based on
our commitment to what we value most.
Are you ready
to claim the choices that are rightfully yours for the choosing?
Here are some questions to help you get started:
- Am I
spending my time doing what matters most to me?
- Am I
spending my time with the people who matter most to me?
- Are my
creative talents and gifts being used to their fullest
- Is there
something I want more of or less of in my life? If so,
what’s the next step I choose to take to move toward what I
You may find
yourself putting things off that are important to you -- such as
time for self-care or time with those you care about most --
because you have so many urgent tasks that need your attention.
sure where to begin? A good place to start is with your
self. How can you best tend to your own physical, mental,
spiritual and social needs? Take out your calendar and schedule
time for activities that will nurture all four of these areas of
your life. Then get ready for the transformation that will
take place in your life!
Kathy Paauw of Paauwerfully Organized. Kathy's web site is a
comprehensive resource devoted to helping busy professionals and
small business owners de-clutter their schedules, spaces, and
minds so they can focus on what's most important. Kathy is an
organizing & productivity consultant, certified business &
personal coach, and speaker. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
For free resources and valuable productivity
tools visit orgcoach.net.