Hello,
and welcome to a new today! Our planet
continues spinning around
and traveling through space at an incredible speed,
so all is well on that front!
We hope that yours is a fantastic week this week.
Creativity
is simply the energy of
making something where there was
nothing before. We do this every day,
in so many unmarked ways.
Fran Sorin
The
greatest comfort of my old age,
and that which gives me the highest
satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance
of the many benefits and friendly
offices
I have done to others.
Cato
Some
people believe that holding on and hanging there are signs of
strength, but there are times in life when it takes much more
strength just to let go.
Ann Landers
Be
not angry that you cannot make
others as you wish them
to be,
since you cannot make yourself
as you wish to be.
Lots of people just plain flat out do not want to deal
with their emotions. They don't want to feel
them. They don't want to talk about them.
Often they wish they would just go away.
No wonder. If you grew up human on Planet Earth, you
probably learned early on that expressing your feelings
led to trouble. Ever try squealing, laughing, and
jumping for joy in a second-grade classroom? Or at
the dinner table?
By third grade, most of us understood that it never pays
to show anger at teacher or our heartbreak at being left
out of a game at recess, or the total frustration of not
being able to understand long division. We learned
to hide, overcome, repress, suppress, and deaden our
feelings any way we could, even if it took large amounts
of alcohol, drugs, or hour after hour of mindless TV to do
it. Day by day, we learned more rules about
appropriate emotional responses and less and less about
emotional freedom.
However, the feelings keep coming. For the first
part of my life, I thought the way to change how I felt
was to change the circumstances in my life. Most
people I know learned the same approach. And so
begins the endless struggle to improve everything!
Lose weight, earn more money, get a better car, find your
true love, get rid of your old true love, move to a bigger
house.
Here's the
lesson I think we should learn early on: How you
feel really does matter. How you feel is up to you.
Before you make a life-changing move in the hope of
feeling better, always deal with your feelings
first. Before you quit your job or leave your
marriage in anger, find out about your anger. What
is it about? Why is that the way you feel?
Before you go on a diet, leave town, buy a new car, or get
married so you can stop emotional pain, deal with your
feelings first. You may still want to lose weight,
get that car, or create a new adventure, but it will be a
completely different experience with a far different
outcome.
Because regardless of whether we like it, emotions are the
rocket fuel of manifestation. We hear it from people
who teach visualization techniques to overcome serious
illnesses and from motivational speakers who command
enormous corporate fees the word is out: Whatever it
is you want to achieve, you've got to feel it first.
This mysterious law of the universe works regardless of
whether you are aware of it, regardless of whether you
believe it. Regardless whether you are consciously
aware of it, your emotional state always has and always
will have a profound effect on what happens next in your
life.
The choices you make and actions you take when you are
afraid lead down a different road from the choices and
actions you take when you are happy. The solutions
you find to a problem when you feel guilty will not be the
same ones you use when you feel at peace.
Feelings actually cause things to happen. Feelings
influence events.
Getting, doing, having stuff is nice. Fame, fortune,
and good looks stand out among the most popular
getting-stuff goals. However, there is not a whole
lot of correlation between getting stuff and the happiness
that Madison Avenue, Hollywood, and Wall Street would have
us believe it produces.
We all know people who stand out for their talent,
financial achievement, beauty, or mighty deeds but are not
happy.
The mind-boggling part is that they do not want to be
happy--yet! They do not know that happiness is a
real option for them and they do not know how to choose
it.
Your emotional experience of life is so important.
When we feel curious, grateful, loving, or happy, life
seems like a precious gift. But if you are ridden
with guilt, filled with fear, so angry that no love can
enter your heart, or so resentful that joy is only an
irritating word, then life is more like hell on
earth. What good are fame, fortune, and good looks
in hell?
As we wander about this paradise called Earth, the
perception of what happens to us combines with our
thoughts and beliefs about what life means. That
ever-changing combination produces emotional
responses. When we judge events and circumstances as
good for us, we usually respond with some form of
happiness. When we think bad things are happening we
respond with anger, fear, guilt, sorrow, and the other
so-called negative emotions.
What happens when you suspend that judgment? When
life becomes a fascinating mystery, unfolding in the midst
of infinite possibilities, you become more and more free
to choose your feelings. You can allow more
love, creativity, and joy into your life than you may have
dreamed possible. Simply by asking yourself from
time to time, "If I could feel any way I wanted to
feel, what would it be?" You may come up with
answers that will astound you.
Exercising your emotional options really allows you to
experience life on your own terms in the most real way
possible. It's like magic. You can create the
results first. You can be happy even before you
change all of those things you want to change.
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One gift I wish I had received earlier in life
is knowledge of forgiveness.
I spent much of my life carrying rusty anchors
with me. It is difficult to move forward
when we carry bitterness inside. I can
laugh now about the times I held on to my
grudges. I would literally bathe in
poisonous thoughts. Now I realize those
thoughts did nothing to the person I was holding
a grudge against. It didn't bother them
one bit. What it did was hold me back and
prevent me from becoming my best.
Forgiveness isn't just about people.
Sometimes we have trouble forgiving the things
around us. I used to wake up in fear,
angry at the universe. Starting the day in
a fight or flight mode is a stressful way to
begin the day. Perhaps I was worried about
the bills or angry about a car accident or some
other event that appeared to be beyond my
control.
When I found forgiveness, I quickly learned that
forgiving is a process. I could not say
"I forgive" and then let go.
Many of the anchors I carried with me were
embedded deep within, so I had to constantly
remind myself to toss them out. I would
say, "I forgive and I release you" and
imagine the face of the person I held a grudge
against. It felt great. They went on
with their own lives, but now I was free to live
mine.
My next step was to forgive the world around
me. I suddenly stopped blaming my
misfortunes on the universe. Traffic
happens. Rain happens. All of this
is part of life. When I became friends
with the universe (by not holding a grudge), the
universe returned the gesture by providing
abundance. This is when I started to learn
about success, because success doesn't find
selfish people. Not forgiving is a very
selfish act. (If you think that having
money is success, find a rich person who doesn't
know how to forgive, and you might discover that
being rich for them is nothing more than
expensive unhappiness.)
Then, in all my forgiving, I stumbled upon the
greatest gift of all. I forgave
myself! I learned that I could love myself
and forgive myself for not being perfect.
I used to be my own worst enemy. I now
enjoy life and receive so much more--especially
now that I can be friends with that reflection I
see in the mirror.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
Life is
not a game of Solitaire; people depend on one another.
When
one does well, others are lifted. When one stumbles,
others also are
impacted. There are no one-person
teams—either by definition or
natural law. Success is a
cooperative effort; it’s
dependent upon those who stand
beside you.
Jon M. Huntsman Sr. Essential Lessons on Leadership
It's
fine to work toward future goals, but don't forget that
today will never come again. You have only
twenty-four hours to enjoy it.
Some
people put life on hold while striving for their
dreams. At first their theme song is, "After I
attain ______, then I'll be happy." Then,
later, after the success of attaining pales, the regrets
are felt. "Why didn't I take time to plant a
garden?" (or play with my children, visit old
friends, be kinder to my partner, relax, go to the movies,
go hiking?).
Instead
of waiting to be an old lady to wear purple, wear it
now. Instead of waiting for retirement to live in a
beautiful place, consider finding a way to get there
now. When we live our lives in accordance with our
dreams, it becomes easy to cheer for other people doing
so. When we don't, it's easy to be sour grapes,
unsupportive, or jealous when others break free and follow
their heart's desire.
Recently
I received a letter from my former Minneapolis
neighbors. "We've put our house up for
sale," it read. "We came home from the
country and said, 'No more!' We don't want to live
in the city so we're going to leave. We're looking
at a small town in Colorado with sunny days, mild winters,
and we're talking it over with our teenage
children." The energy and joy jumped off the
page. I could share their happiness because I knew
how much I enjoyed my move to the mountains. I sent
back a postcard that said, "Great! Wow!
You did it and I'm glad." There was a time in
my life when, because I wasn't living where I wanted to
be, I would have felt a tinge of jealousy and could not
have been so happy for them.
So
if you feel as if your life is somewhere out there as
opposed to right here, stop and ask yourself, really ask
yourself:
*
What is missing in my life?
* What have I put on hold?
* What am I waiting for?
* What would really fill my heart and make me happy?
* What would I regret if I died tomorrow?
Though
you may not die tomorrow, the saddest death is walking
around like a robot, cut off from the magic of today--from
love, from beauty, from being where you want to be.
And
remember, if all life is sacred, then today is
sacred. Ask yourself, What am I doing to feel joy today?
A wonderful way to start the day is to bless it:
Blessings
on this day, may I make it special in some way.
Blessings on my life, may I treat it with love and care.
Blessings on all people, may I see the goodness in
everyone.
Blessings on nature, may I notice its beauty and wonder.
Blessings on the truth, may it be my constant companion.
If
we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting
values, we must
recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and so
weave a less
arbitrary social fabric, one in which each diverse human
gift will find a fitting place.
Margaret
Mead
Two years ago I gave a gift--larger than one I would
normally do without
asking Seymour, my husband--to a cause I support. I decided I would
balance my unilateral decision by not buying fresh flowers on Friday
afternoon for the next year, a long-standing habit pleasing primarily to
me. "You really can buy flowers," Seymour said when I told him my
plan. "It's fine about the gift. You don't need to balance."
It's been a good practice, though. I pass the
flower shop as I do my
Friday shopping. I stop to admire the display. I watch the
flowers change
with the seasons. Often I feel like buying some. I
listen to my mind
make up reasons: "It's been more than a year now."
"These are so pretty!" "Tom and Mary are coming for dinner." "I really
should be supporting
the local flower growers." So far, I pass them by. The
important lesson,
one that is still working, happens when I am halfway down the street
and realize that the tug at my heart that was present in front
of the flowers is no longer there. Life is easier without
imperatives.
There
is enough for all. The earth is a generous mother;
she
will provide in plentiful abundance food for all her
children
if they will but cultivate her soil in justice and in peace.
Bourke Coekran
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
™
