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26 April 2022
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To
have a purpose that is worthwhile, and that is steadily
being accomplished, is one of the secrets of a life that
is worth living.
Herbert
Casson
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All
people ought to begin with themselves, and make their own
happiness first, from which the happiness of the whole
world would at last unquestionably follow.
Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
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Patience and
tenacity of purpose are assets
of infinitely greater value than cleverness. There is great strength in patiently waiting.
The sun, having set, comes up. The tide ebbs,
but always flows in again.
Fred van Amburgh
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After you have been kind, after love has stolen
forth into the world
and done its beautiful work, go back into the
shade again and say
nothing about it.
Love hides even from itself.
Love waives even
self-satisfaction.
Henry Drummond
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Born with Love
(Introduction to A Return to Love)
Marianne Williamson
When we were born, we were programmed perfectly. We had a
natural tendency to focus on love. Our imaginations were
creative and flourishing, and we knew how to use them. We
were connected to a world much richer than the one we connect to
now, a world full of enchantment and a sense of the miraculous.
So what happened? Why is it that we
reached a certain age, looked around, and the enchantment was
gone?
Because we were taught to focus
elsewhere. We were taught to focus elsewhere. We were
taught to think unnaturally. We were taught a very bad
philosophy, a way of looking at the world that contradicts who we
are.
We were taught to think thoughts like
competition, struggle, sickness, finite resources, limitation,
guilt, bad, death, scarcity, and loss. We began to think
these things, and so we began to know them. We were taught
that things like grades, being good enough, money, and doing
things the right way, are more important than love. We were
taught that we're separate from other people, that we have to
compete to get ahead, that we're not quite good enough the way we
are. We were taught to see the world the way that others had
come to see it. It's as though, as soon as we got here, we
were given a sleeping pill.
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The thinking of the world, which
is not based on love, began pounding in our ears the moment we hit
shore.
Love is what we were born with.
Fear is what we learned here. The spiritual journey is the
relinquishment, or unlearning, of fear and the acceptance of love
back into our hearts. Love is the essential existential
fact. It is our ultimate reality and our purpose on
earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in
ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.
Meaning doesn't lie in things.
Meaning lies in us. When we attach value to things that
aren't love -- the money, the car, the house, the prestige -- we
are loving things that can't love us back. We are searching
for meaning in the meaningless. Money, of itself, means
nothing. Material things, of themselves, mean nothing.
It's not that they're bad. It's that they're nothing.
We came here to co-create with God by
extending love. Life spent with any other purpose in mind is
meaningless, contrary to our nature, and ultimately painful.
It's as though we've been lost in a dark, parallel universe where
things are loved more than people. We overvalue what we
perceive with our physical senses, and undervalue what we know to
be true in our hearts.
Love isn't seen with the physical eyes or
heard with the physical ears. The physical sense can't
perceive it; it's perceived through another kind of vision.
Metaphysicians call it the Third Eye, esoteric Christians call it
the vision of the Holy Spirit, and others call it the Higher
Self. Regardless of what it's called, love requires a
different kind of "seeing" than we're used to -- a
different kind of knowing or thinking. Love is the intuitive
knowledge of our hearts. It's a "world beyond"
that we all secretly long for. An ancient memory of this
love haunts all of us all the time, and beckons us to return.
Love isn't material. It's
energy. It's the feeling in a room, a situation, a
person. Money can't buy it. Sex doesn't guarantee
it. It has nothing at all to do with the physical world, but
it can be expressed nonetheless. We experience it as
kindness, giving, mercy, compassion, peace, joy, acceptance,
non-judgment, joining, and intimacy.
Fear is our shared lovelessness, our
individual and collective hells. It's a world that seems to
press on us from within and without, giving constant false
testimony to the meaninglessness of love. When fear is
expressed, we recognize it as anger, abuse, disease, pain, greed,
addiction, selfishness, obsession, corruption, violence, and war.
Love is hidden within us. It cannot
be destroyed, but can only be hidden. The world we knew as
children is still buried within our minds.
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The Pace That Stills
Norman Vincent Peale
Coming out of a reception at a New York City
hotel, my wife, Ruth, and I found it was raining
hard, a soaking downpour. We tried in vain
to get a taxi, and considered taking a bus, but
would have been drenched getting to it.
Then I remembered a similar situation when I had
practiced intensive positive thinking and
immediately a taxi had pulled up. So I
started thinking positively, hoping the same
thing would happen again.
Along came an old horse-drawn hansom cab, one of
those that take tourists around the Central Park
area. The driver, perched on the high
outside seat of this ancient conveyance, had on
a great sou'wester. The rain was coursing
down it in rivulets and dropping from his rubber
hat.
I turned to Ruth and said, "We've been here
twenty-five minutes waiting for a taxi.
What do you say we take this carriage?"
"Oh, yes, let's," she said, getting
in.
The driver tucked us in with a big robe.
We started off. The windows of the old
vehicle rattled. They were the kind of
windows that stubbornly drop down when you try
to pull them up shut.
Noting the tufted upholstery, I remembered
admiringly, "I haven't been in one of these
things since I was a boy." But
moments later I continued. "This old
hack will never get us home. Think of it,
all the way to 84th Street at this pace!"
However, we gradually adjusted to the
pace. We plodded along slowly to the
pleasant clop-clop-clop of the horse's
hoofs through the rainy streets. Taxis and
cars going the same way sped past us.
We proceeded north on Park Avenue. Every
so often the horse would trot for a few minutes,
then walk slowly. As I sat back in the
ancient vehicle, rain beating against the
window, a feeling of relaxation came over me.
It was the slowest trip to 84th Street I have
ever made, but by all odds, the most
pleasant. You couldn't hurry, so all sense
of haste was laid aside.
At last we arrived. As I paid the man, I
said, "I've sure enjoyed the ride.
How old is this hack?"
"It's a real antique," he answered
cheerfully. "Older than I am.
But," he added, "you had a leisurely,
slow, unhurried drive, didn't you?"
"It was indeed all that!" I
said. "I never knew one could be so
relaxed in New York traffic."
We live in a tense, hard-driving generation,
thinking we just have to get there in a
hurry. Why, I'll never know. And
it's wonderful what a little slowing down can
do.
We don't need a horse-drawn carriage to slow the
pace; there are other ways. The trick is
to break our rhythm. One way might be to
try walking to Grandma's house with the family,
instead of taking the car. Or try making a
real homemade cake, instead of using a
"mix." We might take time to go
through the family photo album slowly, reliving
the pleasant moments; or take the long way to
the store one day, stopping at points of
interest, looking for things we never
particularly noticed before.
Breaking the pattern of rush, rush, rush can
restore our bodies and our minds and can bring
an oasis of healing calm in the midst of stress.
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Life
is a series of choices and as all ideas in this manifested
universe are
divided as opposites, we can choose the
negative ego approach or the
positive spiritual approach.
. . . From the negative ego approach we learn
that we will
suffer until we balance our actions and bring our lives
into
harmony with the laws that govern the universe.
This is called the law of
hard knocks or karma. With
the positive spiritual approach we choose to
live in
obedience to God's will, to live in harmony with universal
laws
without being pushed into it. This can be
called the school of grace.
Cheryl
Canfield
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Ways
to Let Go
We've just read the Tao
Te Ching for one of the courses that I teach, and once
more I've been exposed to the concept of letting things
go, of trying not to hold on to things that seem to be
important to me in life. It's a very hard concept
for those of us who come from so-called western
traditions, as we're taught to get things, to collect
things, to keep things forever and never let them go.
We're taught that having plenty of things will give us
gratification, that we'll never find ourselves wanting
for something because we've had the foresight to collect
plenty of things and have them there in the closet just
in case they're ever needed. If I need to fix a
toilet, I already have that length of hose in the
closet, and I paid fifty cents less for it because I
bought it ten years ago. Who knows if I'm ever
going to read all of the books that I own, but if I do
get the urge to read a particular book, there it
is! And even though I haven't used that thing in
the closet for a few years (I'm not even sure what it
actually does), it's there in case I need it next week.
And those are just material things. I realized a
while ago that my relationship with this person is
toxic, but I continue to see this person because. . .
well, because. And that person insulted me three
years ago, so I can't really treat that person as well
as I would like to because that insult really
hurt. That person over there was given a promotion
that I should have gotten, and that still makes me feel
terrible. My parents didn't give me the love that
other parents gave to their kids, so it's impossible for
me to treat them like other kids treat their parents.
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There
are things that we never want to let go
of, people we
never want to leave behind.
But keep in mind that
letting go isn’t the end
of the world; it’s the
beginning of a new life.
unattributed
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Why do we find it so
difficult to let go of such things? Why do we
end up needing to hold on to things that are painful
or useless to us for now? We hold on to
resentment and we hold on to anger and we hold on to
possessions as if some part of ourselves may die--or
just suffer terribly--if we dare to let go of them.
Sometimes this need is a result of some sort of
psychological issue in the past. The Adult
Child of an Alcoholic, for example, tends to be
unable to let go of things because he or she learned
at an early age that the future can't be trusted,
and that if you don't hold on to things, you'll lose
them. That's true also of people who have
grown up with divorce, with a parent who gambles, or
any other situation in which loss was a significant
and regular part of their lives. For them,
life becomes frightening if the pantry isn't full
and the other person isn't calling.
But most of us don't have a clear idea of what
letting go is or what its results are. This is
because we focus mainly on the loss, and almost not
at all on any positive results of that loss.
Even if a person treats us badly, that's still an
acquaintance in our life. Losing that person
may seem to be a threat to my self-worth, because
even if his or her influence is negative, it's still
a person who cares enough to be involved with
me. Even if this place that I live isn't the
best place in the world, it offers me the comfort of
being a known place, and moving would thrust me into
an unknown situation with lots of potential
problems--and my current problems are preferable
because I'm familiar with them.
Letting go of things, though, is a strategy that we
can use to lighten burdens, to release stress and
toxicity from our lives, to give ourselves more free
time that we can use to recharge our bodies and
spirits and face our other problems more effectively
from a better place.
Here's a short list of things that we can let go of
that can have a truly positive effect on us and our
lives:
Bad relationships
Fear
Anger
Resentment
Expectations
Old things that are now clutter
Desire
Dependency on others
Identity
These can be a start, for these are things that when
we hold on to them, hold us back and keep us in dark
and dismal times. Holding on to a bad
relationship, for example, guarantees us more stress
and anger and resentment and less happiness and
freedom. Holding on to fear keeps us fearful,
and doesn't allow us to face new situations with
courage and equanimity. When we can let each
of these things go, we can start a new chapter in
our lives.
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The
Tao Te
Ching says, When I let go of what I am,
I become what
I might be. When I let go of what I
have,
I receive what I need.
Have you ever struggled to find
work or love, only to find them
after you have given up? This is the paradox of letting go.
Let go, in order
to achieve. Letting go is God's law.
Mary Manin Morrissey
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How do we let go of a
bad relationship? First of all, we must
acknowledge that the relationship is a negative part
of our lives, something that harms us rather than
helps us. If we never acknowledge that fact,
nothing will change. When we do acknowledge
it, then it's decision time--we have to make the
decision to make changes in our lives that will
minimize the effects of this relationship on our
lives. It can be hard if it's a relationship
with a co-worker, of course, or someone else whom we
see regularly, but hard doesn't mean
impossible. We have to come up with strategies
that will help us to keep this relationship as
inactive as possible in our lives. We set
limits and we set boundaries, and we insist that
they be respected. If that person violates
those limits, that's simply further evidence that
the relationship was toxic to begin with, as the
violation shows a lack of respect for your right to
determine the course of your own life.
It won't always be easy, of course. But one of
the things that can make it difficult is fear--fear
of being alone, fear of hurting another person, fear
of not finding a "replacement"
relationship. Fear harms us in many other
ways, too, keeping us at jobs that don't help us to
reach our potential, keeping us from starting new
relationships, keeping us from taking vacations or
exploring new places and situations. When we
let go of fear, we tell fear that it no longer has a
place in our lives, and that we're going to move on
with our lives without fear as a companion.
That sounds an awful lot like letting go of a
relationship, doesn't it?
The first step always to any sort of positive change
in our lives is the recognition and acceptance of
any negative behaviors or attitudes that we practice
or hold. If I'm constantly unhappy because my
expectations aren't being met, it's important that I
honestly examine whether others are at fault for not
meeting my expectations, or if my unhappiness is
caused because I have unrealistic expectations of
others. Usually, it's the latter--for someone
who's been able to let go of expectations, life is
generally a more positive experience. Once I
know that I'm the one causing the issue, I can let
go of the expectations and let life be life and let
it come as it may, without me trying to control it
through my expectations of what it should be like.
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People have a hard time letting go of their
suffering.
Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is
familiar.
Thich Nhat Hanh
Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only
condition for
happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything--anger,
anxiety,
or possessions--we cannot be free.
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Letting go is a
process not of banishment, but of allowing something
to go free. Think of it as a bird in the
cage--you've kept it because you've loved its song,
but more and more you realize that you feel more
guilt about keeping the bird caged than you feel
pleasure from its song. The bird in the cage
is harming you more than it's helping you.
Once you open the door to the cage and allow the
bird to fly free, the guilt is gone and you're able
to go on with your life without having to deal with
the guilt that your own action has brought to
you. And you know that there are plenty of
other birds out there with wonderful songs--and
they'll still be a part of your life.
When I want to let something go, it's important that
I carefully consider whether or not that thing or
thought or relationship is helping me or hindering
me. And I need to look past the surface--my
prejudices may help me to feel better about myself,
but is that "better" truly better, or is
it me fooling myself because I want to feel that
way? My fear may be keeping me
"safe," but am I safe because I keep out
everything that may hurt me, even the important and
the essential? You may need to let go of a
person in your life, and in doing so you may be
losing someone who helped you in one way, but who
hurt you in several others. Don't allow that
help that you don't want to lose to outweigh the
hurt that you must let go of if you're to move on
with your life.
There are danger and risk in letting go, of
course. The rewards, though, far surpass any
loss. You'll find yourself feeling lighter and
less stressed as you let go of things that are
holding you down and holding you back, and your life
can get on track much easier when it's not weighed
down with tons of excess baggage. Figure out
what you no longer need in your life and let go of
it, for once you do so, you'll be starting life anew
with a new perspective and new ways of relating to
your world and the people in it.
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You
are something new in this world. Be glad of it.
Make the most of
what
nature gave you. In the last analysis, all art is
autobiographical. You can sing
only what you are. You can paint only what you
are. You must be what your
experiences, your environment, and your heredity have made
you. For better
or for worse, you must cultivate your own
little
garden. For better or for worse,
you must play your own little instrument in the orchestra of
life.
Dale Carnegie
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i thank you God for this most amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
e e cummings
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There are
all kinds of silences and each of them means a different thing.
There is the silence that comes with morning in a forest, and
this is different
from the silence of a sleeping city. There is silence after a
rainstorm, and
before a rainstorm, and these are not the same. There is the
silence of
emptiness, the silence of fear, the silence of doubt. There is
a certain silence
that can emanate from a lifeless object as from a chair lately
used, or from
a piano with old dust upon its keys, or from anything that has
answered to
the need of a man, for pleasure or for work. This kind of
silence can speak. Its voice may be melancholy, but it is not always so; for the
chair may have
been left by a laughing child or the last notes of the piano
may have been
raucous and gay. Whatever the mood or the circumstance, the
essence of
its quality may linger in the silence that follows. It is a
soundless echo.
Beryl Markham
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The biggest secret of self-esteem is this:
Begin to appreciate other people more, show respect
for any human being merely because he or she is
a child of God and therefore a "thing of value."
Maxwell Maltz
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