11 March 2024         

   

Hello, and welcome to the newest issue of our e-zine!  We hope
that all is going well with you and that you find something in this
issue that speaks to you in important ways!  Please enjoy it. . . .

    

   

   

Always Have Fun in All Ways
Bill Resler

Love
Ralph Waldo Trine

Letting Go
tom walsh

   

   

     
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Simple and Profound Thoughts
(from Simple and Profound)

Now and then it is good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.    -unattributed

Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul.   -Teresa of Avila

Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.    -Alphonse Karr

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.   -Thomas Jefferson

   

  
Always Have Fun in All Ways
Bill Resler

People ask me why it is I continue to coach high school girls basketball despite the fact that my daughters are grown and that the job takes up a considerable amount of time.  It certainly isn't for the money.  I could make more money mowing lawns in a summer than I do as a high school girls basketball coach.  If a person coaches high school girls basketball for money or fame, they're insane.  Good coaches devote so many hours of their lives solely because they love the players they teach.  They know that the true payoff doesn't come from a winning on-court feat--it comes years after the girls graduate from high school, when I see them walking tall and strong and I know they gained much of their confidence through the life lessons they learned on the court.  Without a doubt, I coach for the love of the game, but I also coach because it gives me the opportunity to pass on the important lessons I've learned to all of the wonderful students under my watch. . . .

I know that in order for my players to get the most out of their basketball seasons, they must be able to own their own turf--and this translates to their lives off the court, too.  In Roughrider land, the basketball key is our home.  We will share our home with teammates, but not with opponents.  When an opponent flashes through the key, we will smash them.  We run a drill called "Smash the Flash," which teaches the girls that no one is allowed in our key and any opponent who does so will get knocked to the hardwood.  As the girls often say, "Not in our kitchen."

Owning the actual basketball court is important, but it represents just one part of a player's turf.  When players learn to work with teammates while controlling their turf, they're practicing skills that will help them deal with future life experiences.

When kids are young, their parents are their primary educators.  Most parents understand that as their little ones grow up, they need to be given more and more space as they edge towards independence.  Parents need to understand that high school sports provide an environment where their kids can learn to assert themselves and grow as individuals.  But in order for that to happen, young athletes must be allowed to take the helm themselves, and navigate unexplored waters using their own steering mechanisms, without parental involvement. . . .

There is one guiding principle that pushes my life and that drives all of these lessons:  always have fun in all ways.  Every other teaching standard and life lesson flows from this key philosophy.  I believe that if your life isn't fun, you should change it.  Every person views fun in their own way, but not everyone pursues it as their paramount principle.  It's unlikely that everyone is comfortable with placing "always have fun" at the top of their life-goals list, but for me, there is no other course.  For those of you who disagree, take a moment to consider that placing fun on the highest pedestal can make it easier to be in the moment, even when you're facing a truly difficult and challenging situation.

All of the lessons I've taught the Roughriders through the years are important.  But I feel that employing a teaching style that utilizes fun aspects when possible is incredibly helpful, especially when dealing with confidence boosting.  Much of my coaching comes sprinkled with wicked sarcasm and impish pranks.  I believe that to be effective, I must create an aura of unpredictability, so during practice I spout out crazy comments at random times.  I do this for two reasons:  first, to keep them alert, and most important, to remind them that we must always have fun in all ways. . . .

As I've reflected on my eight seasons as Roosevelt's coach and considered all that I've accomplished, which is something I rarely do, I honestly don't care about Roosevelt's win-loss record or how many championships we've won.  More than any statistic, I care about the lessons my players learn from the experience, and how they will utilize those lessons decades after the final buzzer of their basketball careers.  What I value most is knowing that I've made a positive impact on the lives of many teenagers.  My players, and the moments they have created, have brought me more fun than I can fit into words.

more thoughts and ideas on fun

   

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Love
Ralph Waldo Trine

Our good friend, Henry Drummond, in one of his most beautiful and valuable little works, says--and how admirably and how truly!--that “Love is the greatest thing in the world.”  Have you this greatest thing?  Yes. How, then, does it manifest itself?  In kindliness, in helpfulness, in service to those around you?  If so, well and good, you have it.  If not, then I suspect that what you have been calling love is something else; and you have indeed been greatly fooled.  In fact, I am sure it is; for if it does not manifest itself in this way, it cannot be true love, for this is the one grand and never-failing test.  Love is the statics, helpfulness and service the dynamics, the former necessary to the latter, but the latter the more powerful, as action is always more powerful than potentiality; and, were it not for the dynamics, the statics might as well not be.  Helpfulness: kindliness, service, is but the expression of love.  It is love in action; and unless love thus manifests itself in action, it is an indication that it is of that weak and sickly nature that needs exercise, growth, and development, that it may grow and become strong, healthy, vigorous, and true, instead of remaining a little, weak, indefinite, sentimental something or nothing.

It was but yesterday that I heard one of the world's greatest thinkers and speakers, one of our keenest observers of human affairs, state as his opinion that selfishness is the root of all evil.  Now, if it is possible for any one thing to be the root of all evil, then I think there is a world of truth in the statement.  But, leaving out of account for the present purpose whether it is true or not, it certainly is true that anyone who cannot get beyond self robs their life of its chief charms, and more, defeats the very ends they have in view.

It is a well-known law in the natural world about us that whatever has not use, that whatever serves no purpose, shrivels up.  So it is a law of our own being that they who make themselves of no use, of no service to the great body of mankind, who are concerned only with their own small self, find that self, small as is, growing smaller and smaller, and those finer and better and grander qualities of their nature, those that give the chief charm and happiness to life, shrivelling up.  Such a one lives, keeps constant company with their own diminutive and stunted self; while those who, forgetting self, make the object of their lives service, helpfulness, and kindliness to others, find their whole nature growing and expanding, themselves becoming large-hearted, magnanimous, kind, loving, sympathetic, joyous, and happy, their life becoming rich and beautiful.  For instead of their own little life alone they have entered into and have part in a hundred, a thousand, in countless numbers of other lives; and every success, every joy, every happiness coming to each of these comes as such to themselves, for they have a part in each and all.  And thus it is that one becomes a prince among men, a queen among women.

Why, one of the very fundamental principles of life is so much love, so much love in return; so much love, so much growth; so much love, so much power; so much love, so much life--strong, healthy, rich, exulting, and abounding life.  The world is beginning to realize the fact that love, instead of being a mere indefinite something, is a vital and living force, the same as electricity is a force, though perhaps of a different nature.  The same great fact we are learning in regard to thought--that thoughts are things, that thoughts are forces, the most vital and powerful in the universe, that they have form and substance and power, the quality of the power determined as it is by the quality of the life in whose organism the thoughts are engendered; and so, when a thought is given birth to, it does not end there, but takes form, and as a force it goes out and has its effect upon other minds and lives, the effect being determined by its intensity and the quality of the prevailing emotions, and also by the emotions dominating the person at the time the thoughts are engendered and given form.

Science, while demonstrating the great facts it is today demonstrating in connection with the mind in its relations to and effects upon the body, is also finding from the very laboratory experiments that each particular kind of thought and emotion has its own peculiar qualities, and hence its own peculiar effects or influences; and these it is classifying with scientific accuracy.  A very general classification in just a word would be those of a higher and those of a lower nature.

Some of the chief ones among those of the lower nature are anger, hatred, jealousy, malice, rage.  Their effect, especially when violent, is to emit a poisonous substance into the system, or rather, to set up a corroding influence which transforms the healthy and life-giving secretions of the body into the poisonous and the destructive.  When one, for example, is dominated, even if for but a moment, by a passion of anger or rage, there is set up in the system what might be justly termed a bodily thunderstorm, which has the effect of souring or corroding the normal and healthy secretions of the body and making them so that instead of life-giving they become poisonous.  This, if indulged in to any extent, sooner or later induces the form of disease that this particular state of mind and emotion or passion gives birth to; and it in turn becomes chronic.

We shall ultimately find, as we are beginning to so rapidly today, that practically all disease has its origin in perverted mental states or emotions; that anger, hatred, fear, worry, jealousy, lust, as well as all milder forms of perverted mental states and emotions, has each its own peculiar poisoning effects, and induces each its own peculiar form of disease, for all life is from within out.  Then some of the chief ones belonging to the other class mental states and emotions of the higher nature are love, sympathy, benevolence, kindliness, and good cheer.  These are the natural and the normal; and their effect, when habitually entertained, is to stimulate a vital, healthy, bounding, purifying, and life-giving action, the exact opposite of the others; and these very forces, set into a bounding activity, will in time counteract and heal the disease-giving effects of their opposites.  Their effects upon the countenance and features in inducing the highest beauty that can dwell there are also marked and all-powerful.  So much, then, in regard to the effects of one's thought forces upon the self.  A word more in regard to their effects upon others.

Our prevailing thought forces determine the mental atmosphere we create around us, and all who come within its influence are affected in one way or another, according to the quality of that atmosphere; and though they may not always get the exact thoughts, they nevertheless get the effects of the emotions dominating the originator of the thoughts, and hence the creator of this particular mental atmosphere; and the more sensitively organized the person, the more sensitive he or she is to this atmosphere, even at times to getting the exact and very thoughts.  So even in this the prophecy is beginning to be fulfilled, “There is nothing hid that shall not be revealed.”

If the thought forces sent out by any particular life are those of hatred or jealousy or malice or fault-finding or criticism or scorn, these same thought forces are aroused and sent back from others, so that one is affected not only by reason of the unpleasantness of having such thoughts from others, but they also in turn affect one's own mental states, and through these one’s own bodily conditions, so that, so far as even the welfare of self is concerned, the indulgence in thoughts and emotions of this nature are most expensive, most detrimental, most destructive.

If, on the other hand, the thought forces sent out be those of love, of sympathy, of kindliness, of cheer and goodwill, these same forces are aroused and sent back, so that their pleasant, ennobling, warming, and life-giving effects one feels and is influenced by; and so again, so far even as the welfare of self is concerned, there is nothing more desirable, more valuable and life-giving.  There comes from others, then, exactly what one sends to, and hence calls forth from them.  And would we have all the world love us, we must first then love all the world--merely a great scientific fact.  Why is it that all people instinctively dislike and shun the little, the mean, the self-centered, the selfish, while all the world instinctively, irresistibly, loves and longs for the company of the great-hearted, the tender-hearted, the loving, the magnanimous, the sympathetic, the brave?  The mere answer because will not satisfy.  There is a deep, scientific reason for it; either this, or it is not true.

Much has been said, much written, in regard to what some have been pleased to call personal magnetism, but which, as is so commonly true in cases of this kind, is even today but little understood.  But to my mind personal magnetism in its true sense, and as distinguished from what may be termed purely animal magnetism, is nothing more nor less than the thought forces sent out by a great-hearted, tender-hearted, magnanimous, loving, sympathetic man or woman; for, let me ask, have you ever known of any great personal magnetism in the case of the little, the mean, the vindictive, the self-centered?  Never, I venture to say, but always in the case of the other.

Why, there is nothing that can stand before this wonderful transmuting power of love.  So far even as the enemy is concerned, I may not be to blame if I have an enemy; but I am to blame if I keep them as such, especially after I know of this wonderful transmuting power.  Have I then an enemy, I will refuse, absolutely refuse, to recognize them as such; and instead of entertaining the thoughts of them that they entertain of me, instead of sending them like thought forces, I will send them only thoughts of love, of sympathy, of brotherly kindness, and magnanimity.  But a short time it will be until they feel these, and are influenced by them.  Then in addition I will watch my opportunity, and whenever I can, I will even go out of my way to do them some little kindnesses.  Before these forces they cannot stand, and by and by I shall find that he or she who today is my bitterest enemy is my warmest friend, and may be my staunchest supporter.  No, the wise man is he who by that wonderful alchemy of love transmutes the enemy into the friend--transmutes the bitterest enemy into the warmest friend and supporter.  Certainly this is what the Master teacher meant when He said: “Love your enemies, do good to them that hate you and despitefully use you: thou shalt thereby be heaping coals of fire upon their heads.”  For, thou shalt melt them:  before this force they cannot stand.  Thou shalt melt them, and transmute them into friends.

From What All the World's A-Seeking, 1896
  

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The whole secret of remaining young in spite of years, and even of grey hairs,
is to cherish enthusiasm in oneself, by poetry, by contemplation, by charity,-
that is, in fewer words, by the maintenance of harmony in the soul.  When
everything is in its right place within us, we ourselves are in equilibrium with
the whole work of God.  Deep and grave enthusiasm for the eternal beauty
and the eternal order, reason touched with emotion and a serene tenderness
of heart-- these surely are the foundations of wisdom.

Henri Frederic Amiel

   

 

Letting Go

This is a concept that took me many, many years to understand, much less put into practice.  I grew up thinking that I needed to control situations to the very end, that I needed to make sure that results were what I wanted them to be and expected them to be.  Because I saw life in that way,  I set myself up for much unnecessary and unhelpful disappointment, over and over again.  It was rather silly of me, but I didn't know any better.

Letting go of things is one of the most liberating actions that we can take in our lives.  More importantly, letting go is also a very effective way of making sure that things turn out the ways that they're supposed to instead of the ways we want them to.  In another meaning, letting go is liberating because it allows us to be free from those things that often possess us when we think that we possess them.  In both of these meanings, the act of letting go allows us to breathe freely, to see life with new eyes, and to get on with our lives and move on to new things instead of being tied down to and with the old.

  

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell

   
Much of letting go is the ability to allow ourselves to stop trying to control our lives.  Yes, we do have decisions to make and choices to weigh, but once we make them it's important that we let them play out on their own.  I used to think that if I did that, then things would go terribly wrong and that they would never turn out the ways that I wanted them to.  In some ways, I was right--things very often didn't turn out the way I expected them to or wanted them to.  That wasn't a bad thing, though.  Even though I didn't realize it at the time, things were turning out in the ways that were better for me.  That woman with whom I wanted a relationship wasn't as nice a person as I had thought; that job I wanted would have made me miserable; the people I wanted to spend time with turned out to be rather toxic.

Nowadays, I know that it's important to try to do what I want, but not to have too many expectations based on what I want something to be.  I left my last job because I needed to let it go--it wasn't what I had been led to believe it would be, and though I loved the kids I worked with, I felt that I was contributing to a situation that was detrimental to them, not helpful.  So I had to let go of the security of the income and let go of my relationships with the kids and my colleagues and move on, and the change has turned out to be extremely positive.  Years ago I would not have been able to see that a change was best--I would have held on, hoping against hope that things would change there, even though change really was not in the cards based on the leadership that was in place.

One of the most important things that I've ever learned to let go of are my beliefs, especially those to which I've held on for many years.  Such beliefs can be especially limiting and very inaccurate.  Beliefs that we've had since our childhood years tend to be reflections of the beliefs of our parents and other adults and authority figures who have had an influence on our lives.  They are not accurate reflections of what we know in our hearts and spirits to be true, and they keep us from uncovering our true beliefs simply because we hold on to them without letting go.
   

Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing
you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is
not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing
which keeps you from hope and love?

Leo Buscaglia

   
Another thing that I've learned to let go of is that which Leo talks about above:  pain from the past in the form of grief, resentment, anger, pain and the like.  When someone else does something that hurts us, it's very easy to allow ourselves to wallow in the negative feelings that are caused by that hurt.  Sometimes we spend weeks, months, or even years feeling awful because of someone else's actions, and we're simply unwilling to let go of the feelings that we somehow think make us feel "better," for if I resent something, then I'll show that person, won't I?

The truth is, though, that these feelings are self-destructive.  They don't destroy anyone else, nor do they send an important message to anyone else about what happened--rather, they send a message about what kind of person I am to hold on to anger and resentment for such a long time.  It's important that we move on with our lives, and if we don't let go of these feelings, it's pretty much impossible to move on.  After all, I can't move to a new city until I leave the city I'm in, can I?

Simply put, when I hold on to such feelings, I'm making myself miserable.  When I choose to accept that I'm doing that to myself, then I can let go of those feelings and make myself feel much, much better.
   

Once we see that everything is impermanent and ungraspable
and that we create a huge amount of suffering if we are
attached to things staying the same, we realize that
relaxing and letting go is a wiser way to live.  Letting
go does not mean not caring about things.  It means
caring about them in a flexible and wise way.

Jack Kornfield

   
Life is not about control or making things happen in the ways we think they should happen.  In fact, it's rather arrogant for us to be on this planet that's been here for so long and expect to be able to control life on it.  If we want to see changes, then our task is to set things in motion, not to micromanage and make them happen in the ways we think they should.  If we have something that is possessing us, such as alcohol or our television sets or our cell phones, then it could be time to let it go and move on with our lives.  If we're holding on to resentment and anger, we're simply raising our own stress levels and blood pressure, but we're not contributing anything positive to the situation--and it's time to let it go.

We have to decide if we're going to spend our time fighting life, or living life.  Are we contributing to life, or are we telling life what we think it should do and be?  Are we at peace when life shows us something we didn't expect, ready to deal with it on its own terms, or does such a thing knock us for a loop, making us fearful and upset?  Too many of our disappointments are caused by our own expectations, and until we can let go of those expectations, we can be sure that we're going to experience many more stressful, difficult moments in life, moments that we've caused ourselves.
  

More thoughts and ideas on letting go.

  
   

   

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It can be tempting to blame others for our loss of direction.  We get lots of information about life but little education in life from parents, teachers, and other authority figures who should know better from their experience.   Information is about facts.  Education is about wisdom and the knowledge of how to love and survive.

Bernie Siegel

  
After a wonderful sojourn in the wilderness, I remember walking along the streets of a city which had been my home for awhile.  It was 1 p.m. Hundreds of neatly dressed human beings with pale or painted faces hurried in rather orderly lines to and from their places of employment.  I, in my faded shirt and well-worn slacks, walked among them.  The rubber soles of my soft canvas shoes moved noiselessly along beside the clatter of trim, tight shoes with stilt-like heels.  In the poorer section I was tolerated.  In the wealthier section some glances seemed a bit startled and some were disdainful.

On both sides of us as we walked were displayed the things we can buy if we are willing to stay in the orderly lines day after day, year after year.  Some of the things are more or less useful, many are utter trash.  Some have a claim to beauty, many are garishly ugly.  Thousands of things are displayed--and yet, my friends, the most valuable are missing. Freedom is not displayed, nor health, nor happiness, nor peace of mind.  To obtain these things, my friends, you too may need to escape from the orderly lines and risk being looked upon disdainfully.

To the world I may seem very poor, walking penniless and wearing or carrying in my pockets my only material possessions, but I am really very rich in blessings which no amount of money could buy--health and happiness and inner peace.

Peace Pilgrim
   

  

It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us to turn again to the earth and in
contemplation of her beauties to know the sense of wonder and humility.


Rachel Carson

    

  
  

Yes, life can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's actually rather dependable and reliable.  Some principles apply to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning.  I use it a lot when I teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.  What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or generous, compassionate or arrogant?  In this book, I've done my best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life, writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.  Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too!
Universal Principles of Living Life Fully.  Awareness of these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration out of the lives we lead.