Hello
there! Now we're well into the second half of our
ninth month, in a week that will
see the end of summer and the beginning of
autumn! Change is in the air, and it
may be worth our while to consider whether or not we
have some changes that
we can make or continue to work on in our own lives.
What you put your attention on strengthens or expands in
your life.
Scientists are discovering more and more evidence that we
humans are not independent observers of a mechanical
universe. Our attention, backed by the intent of our
beliefs, creates what we experience as our lives.
Scientifically, one might say that focusing your attention
on the energy field of consciousness, which contains the
waves of all possibilities, creates the particles (events
and materializations) that you experience as your reality.
This is a very important concept. Let me repeat
it: what you put your attention on strengthens or
expands in your life. This one idea alone can make a
big difference for you.
Remember the last time you were considering buying a new car? You had your attention focused on it, and what
happened? All of a sudden, you noticed many
different types, models, and colors of cars, "for
sale" signs in windows, ads in the paper, and people
relaying information to you about a friend who was
thinking of selling his car. Your attention brought
things into your awareness because of your focus.
The moment you purchased your new car, your attention
shifted. The same information about cars was
available, but it was no longer attracted to your
awareness. Your attention was focused elsewhere.
Imagine a coal miner
with a helmet that contains a light to enable him to see
directly in front of him. Now picture yourself with
a similar light beaming from your forehead. Think of
it as your attention beam. How often are you aware
of where it's focused?
It is important to focus your attention effectively.
In other words, don't waste your creative energy.
Without deliberate focus, you're spreading your attention
around randomly, achieving no real benefit for
yourself. Keep your attention focused on something
positive, and good things begin to happen.
This is the real reason for goal setting. It's the
mental focus that helps you achieve your goals. Your
focus is actually strengthening the thoughtform that you
have expressed as your goal. Unfortunately, many of
us have been oriented to the pass-fail aspect of goal
setting, and so, to avoid failure, we don't set
goals. Yes, the concept of pass-fail is a belief--a
very strong shared one.
If there is something in your life that you want, keep
your attention focused on that goal. if things show
up--and they will--that seem to get in the way, don't
focus on them. Handle them, but stay focused on your
goal. It's when you focus on the obstacles that you
tend to give up. Think about what we have already
discussed. What happens when you focus on the
obstacles? Right--your focus just strengthens the
thoughtforms related to the obstacle. Stay focused
on the goal.
You might have a goal that you believe can be achieved
only if you have a certain amount of money. Instead
of focusing on the goal, you focus on the fact that you
don't have enough money. What gets strengthened is
the thoughtform for not having enough money. Maybe
there is a way to achieve the goal without money. By
not focusing on the goal, you restrict possibilities, of
which you may not be aware, from occurring.
Victoria Heasley, a massage therapist, constantly amazes
me with how she obtains what she needs. She is the
kind of person who says to herself, "I sure could use
another couch," and within days a friend who is
moving out of town calls her to ask if she knows anyone
who could use a good couch. If she focused on
worrying about the money to buy a couch, she would miss
these opportunities. Stay focused on your goal!
Remember the story about the little steam engine who
believed he could make it up the mountain? He was
really focused on his goal. How well do you think he
would have done chanting, "I'll never make it.
My joints are sore. I'll never make it. My
joints are sore"?
Knowing where your attention is focused is also important
because you physically experience what you focus your
attention on. You're probably focused on limiting or
negative thoughts any time you are experiencing something
unpleasant. So if you want to change how you feel,
shift your attention to something else--a pleasant memory,
a different subject, anything. Or, best of all,
become an observer of your thoughts and just watch them
float by. This can be quite relaxing and can be
referred to as meditating. By monitoring where you
are focusing your attention, you will begin to gain
insight into why you are experiencing what you are
experiencing.
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A
note about this article: One of my biggest
motivators in life is trying to avoid becoming a
person I don't want to be. I witnessed
alcoholism as a child, and I didn't want to
become that. I've seen teachers who don't
know their job and who treat young people
horrible--I don't want to be that kind of
teacher. The children who wrote these
things have described very well the adult I
don't want to be, especially when it comes to
relating with young people, who really do
deserve my best.
According
to a class full of ten-year-olds in a Sunday school class,
these are the problems with grown-ups:
1.
Grown-ups make promises, then they forget all about them, or
else they say it wasn't really a promise, just a maybe.
2.
Grown-ups don't do the things they're always telling the
children to do--like pick up their things, or be neat, or
always tell the truth.
3.
Grown-ups won't let their children dress the way they want
to--but they never ask a child's opinion about how they
should dress. If they're going out to a party,
grown-ups wear just exactly what they want to wear--even if
it looks terrible, even if it isn't warm enough.
4.
Grown-ups never really listen to what children have to
say. They always decide ahead of time what they're
going to answer.
5.
Grown-ups make mistakes but they won't admit them. They
always pretend that they weren't mistakes at all--or that
somebody else made them.
6.
Grown-ups interrupt children all the time and think nothing
of it. If a child interrupts a grown-up, he gets a
scolding or something worse.
7.
Grown-ups never understand how much children want a certain
thing--a certain color or shape or size. If it's
something they don't admire--even if the children have spent
their own money for it--they always say, "I can't
imagine what you want with that old thing!"
8.
Sometimes grown-ups punish children unfairly. It isn't
right if you've done something just a little wrong and
grownups take away something that means an awful lot to
you. Other times you can do something really bad and
they say they're going to punish you, but they don't.
You never know, and you ought to know.
9.
Grown-ups talk about money too much, and bills, and things
like that, so that it scares you. They say money isn't
very important, but the way they talk about it, it sounds
like the most important thing in the world.
10.
Grown-ups gossip a lot--but if children do the very same
thing and say the same words about the same people they're
being disrespectful.
11.
Grown-ups pry into children's secrets. They always
think it's going to be something bad. They never think
it might be a nice surprise.
12.
Grown-ups are always talking about what they did and what
they knew when they were ten years old--but they never
try to think what it's like to be ten years old right now.
Does
this sound familiar to you? If it does, it might
interest you to know that these complaints were made in
1953--well over half a century ago. Just what have we learned
about being adults and treating children over the last five
decades, if we continue to perpetuate some of the treatments
that were unfair so long ago?
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
And then
I thought: what fools we are with our children--always
plotting
what we shall make of them,
always planning for
a future
that never
comes,
always intent on what they may
be,
never accepting what they are.
Howard Vincent O'Brien
Why I Don't Carry a
Cell Phone
Defining My
Own Rules
People sometimes ask me why I don't carry my cell phone with me
all the time, as if I'm some sort of dinosaur stuck in the past,
refusing to conform to modern standards. To them, it's only
natural that everyone should carry the things, because they've
been convinced by others that the phones are important.
After all, what if I need to get hold of someone?
What if there's an emergency?
Well, I've got news for those people--this world went along fine
for many, many centuries without us being able to get hold of
someone at a moment's notice. In fact, our lives were much
less stressful when we weren't at the beck and call of anyone who
happened to know our phone number. I've been on this planet
many years myself, and there have been extremely few situations in
which I absolutely had to contact someone at very short notice,
and in those times I had to use a bit of ingenuity in order to do
so--I didn't just reach for a piece of technology that never
challenges me to think at all. (And that in fact could rob
me of many important chances to develop and improve my thinking
skills.)
Not carrying a cell phone is a choice. When I make that
choice, I'm saying to the world I live in at each moment that I'm
open to it, that I want to experience it, and that I value
it. If I'm stuck to my phone, I'm telling the world around
me that it's not good enough, that there's probably something or
someone out there that's more interesting, more engaging, and more
important to me. But when I leave my phone at home, in a
positive way I'm choosing to live fully in my surroundings.
I'm choosing many different aspects of life that are simply
impossible to choose if my mind is always on the phone, wondering
who's calling or who's texting--or why someone else isn't calling
or texting. Here are some of the positive choices that I'm
making when I don't bring my phone with me:
I choose awareness. I want to be fully aware of what's
around me--the people, the animals, the trees, the flowers, the
sky. When I answer the phone, my mind (and in many ways my
spirit) is immediately taken somewhere else to deal with issues
that are going on somewhere that I'm not. Once that happens,
I stop seeing and hearing and smelling my surroundings with
clarity. My senses for the present moment are dulled, and
there's really no way that I can focus on appreciation for the
environment in which I find myself. If I'm working, my job
suffers because I'm no longer truly focused on what I'm doing--my
focus is split, and I'm not able to process sensory input like I
would be without the distraction of the new conversation in which
I'm involved. I want to be aware of where I am so that I can
recognize and appreciate the blessings that are there for me.
You want technology
to support your life, not run it. The
problem is not that the cell phone rings, but the problem
is that we answer it when we shouldn't.
Odette Pollar
I choose to pay
attention to the people I'm with, not people who
aren't with me. I know that I feel pretty
crappy when someone answers the phone in the middle
of a conversation with me, and I never want to make
another person feel that way. If I choose to
talk with someone, I do so because I really want to
talk to that person. If a phone call comes and
I answer it, my not-so-subtle message to that person
is "This person is more important than you are,
so please wait a moment while I talk to
them." And it's important to remember
that even if that's not the message I want to send,
the receiver of the message is the one who
determines the meaning of the message for him- or
herself, and the intent of my message isn't always
accepted as it's meant.
I choose not to be influenced by companies that want
the money I would spend if I had a
computer/phone. According to one source, the
average Smartphone bill from one carrier last year
was $148 per month. That's what we used to pay
per year for a landline phone, and we got
along fine. That's almost $1800 per year, and
most people spend that money just to check Facebook
and other social media, or to occasionally check
email to see who's contacted them recently and who
hasn't. When I think of parents paying that
much money instead of putting it away for their
children's college funds, or young people paying
that much and not being able to make ends meet, or
couple stuck with those payments and struggling
constantly with money, it astonishes me. It's
a LOT of money, and if it were rechanneled into more
practical expenditures, people could benefit
greatly. And we're spending that money not
because we need to call people and check
social media, but because we've been convinced by
advertisers and friends that we're somehow missing
out on something if we don't. But here's the
important news: we're really not missing out
on anything that's important to us as human
beings. We're not missing anything that will
help us to become better human beings, that will
help us to grow and learn and develop. We may
be missing out on the latest tweet by some celebrity
whom we'll never meet, but who cares? That
celebrity truly doesn't care about us.
Nature's
what it's all about, but our people have been
brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against
your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks.
Tim Dorsey Nuclear Jellyfish
I choose not to
have my behavior modified by an electronic
device. I feel kind of sad when I see people
who are enjoying themselves while doing something
that's a lot of fun, who immediately drop everything
as soon as the phone rings. That used to
happen only in the home, and it was bad enough
then. Now it happens everywhere. Are you
enjoying your kid's baseball game? Once the
phone rings, the game becomes much less important as
you drop everything you're watching to reach for it.
Pavlov would be proud.
In each moment of my life, I prefer to choose my own
behavior to the best of my ability. There are
times, of course, when certain courses of action are
called for and my choices are limited, but for the
most part, it's up to me to decide what I'm going to
do with each moment. The ringing phone in my
pocket changes that, though, and compels me to
answer it. And it's ringing because I decided
to put it in my pocket and I decided to turn the
volume up loud enough so that I can hear it when it
rings. And if I'm twenty feet away, I
immediately hurry over to it because it's calling
me. I then choose to ignore the people around
me. But I don't want to make those choices
just because a phone is ringing. I want to
choose what I do with my moments in life, and I want
to choose whom I spend them with.
Cell
phones are not a sign of power,
they're a sign of subservience.
Doug Pappas
I choose
courtesy and respect. I want the people I'm
with to feel that I value them, not to feel that I
value them only until my phone rings. I want
to pay attention to them, to listen to them, to
enjoy their company. So the phone stays at
home. And if one of them gets a call and blows
me off, so what? That's their choice to
make. I have my choices to make, and I choose
respect.
The cell phone is in many ways a remarkable
achievement from a technological perspective.
From a psychological perspective, though, it has
become a burden for most people, not a boon.
The advantages of the phone have quickly turned into
the disadvantages that one discovers in pretty much
all addictions, including an inability to function
normally without the device in our hands or pockets
or purses, and the added stress that we feel when
our minds are on the phone and not our current
experiences. There's a lot going on in my
life, of course, but I never once have regretted not
having a phone with me. There are times I will
carry mine if I'm going out of town or if I'll be
away for a while, but all in all, the phone is like
a hammer--it's a tool that serves me well when I
need it, but that's better off in the tool box,
where I can find it when I need it.
Those persons
are happiest in this restless and mutable world
who are in love with
change,
who delight in what is new
simply because it differs from
what
is old;
who rejoice in
every innovation, and find a
strange alert
pleasure
in all that is, and that has
never been before.
The man
walks out on the high wire over empty space, sways above the
breathless crowd, defies the law of gravity. . . .
The
successful living of a life can be compared to walking across
a high wire.
The
indispensable quality needed is balance.
The
balanced self is the well-integrated self. A harmonious
combination of all the constructive elements of personality
makes the self whole.
The
balanced self practices moderation, avoids extremes, follows
the maxim "Not anything too much."
The
balanced self meets the challenges of life with
equanimity. It is neither exalted by success nor
dejected by failure. It meets despair with hope and
climbs the heights with humility.
The
balanced self maintains mental equilibrium. It has ideals
without illusions. It separates fact from fancy.
It keep a level head.
The
balanced self is mature. It considers everything from a
grown-up viewpoint balanced by a child's simplicity.
The
balanced self balances dreams with action. It uses the
power of inner thought to inspire outer achievement. And
it uses action to stimulate further dreams.
The
balanced self guards against quick emotional reactions.
It does not jump to impulsive conclusions. It delays
action until it has had time, calmly and fairly, to balance
all the factors involved.
The
balanced self is resilient; it is flexible to change.
Like a tree in the wind, it bends without breaking.
The
balanced self knows the error of constant effort. It
renews itself through prayer and relaxation, that it may apply
a higher impact of energy and creative power to the task at
hand.
The
balanced self lives a balanced life. It balances work
and play, love and worship.
The
balanced self maintains the I AM of the spirit at the center
of self, in full command of its destiny.
You
may find merry-go-rounds tame. Perhaps your life is more like
a
roller coaster ride. That's okay, as long as it is the ride you
want to
be on. Maybe you enjoy the highs and lows of the roller
coaster. I
have fun
on the merry-go-round, where I can meet
people of all
ages
and we can talk while we ride. The kind of
conversations and
interactions
I like are impossible when we are
alternately shrieking or
tense with anticipation. But if that
kind of life is truly your choice
and makes you happy,
then go ahead
and ride the roller coaster.
Whatever ride you choose in the carnival of life, just remember
to
stop,
now and then, for a rest and refreshments. And those of
us
who are carousel riders should definitely take a break whenever
the
merry drops out of the merry-go-round.
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
™
