Hello,
and welcome to this new issue of our e-zine!
We hope that it
finds you in good spirits, living a life that you
want to be living, giving
to the world in the ways that are most appropriate
and effective for you!
There
are things that we never want to let go
of, people we
never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that
letting go isn’t the end
of the world; it’s the
beginning of a new life.
unattributed
The more that you read,
the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more
places you'll go.
Dr. Seuss
If
you go to bed at night and think about your day and you haven't
laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed and go do something
fun.
Marlo Morgan
People
pay for what they do, and still more, for what they
have allowed themselves to become. And they pay
for it simply: by the lives they lead.
If you've read other books on spirituality, you've
probably seen the concept of "mindfulness" come
up. It's considered crucial to live a mindful life
and make the most of each moment by being aware of every
action. But when you're rushing from task to task,
looking ahead to what you have to accomplish in the next
minute, hour, or day, it's tough to keep your mind on any
one thing, much less be aware of what you're doing.
How many times during the course of your normal day do you
do one or more things at once? Do you watch the
morning shows while you eat breakfast? How about
reading while you ride the bus or train? Ever make a
phone call and work on the computer simultaneously or read
a story to one child while bathing another? Say
you're on a company softball team. Do you talk just
about the game while you're sitting in the dugout, or are
you discussing business, too? And when you perform
you nightly bathroom routine, have you been known to brush
your teeth while waiting for your facial mask to dry, just
to save a few minutes?
All these acts may give you a certain sense of
satisfaction at having accomplished a lot in a short
amount of time--and sometimes, that's just what we need.
The problem
is, by mushing together all these tasks, we rarely come
away feeling any sense of accomplishment at the way we
completed any individual one. For instance, I can
finish the crossword puzzle in the Sunday New York
Times in ink while watching E.R.--but I'll make
a lot of mistakes along the way before coming to the right
solution, leaving the grid looking like a giant scribble.
That's why spirituality demands that we stop at least once
in a while to examine whether all our rushing about is
worth it. We don't get many second chances in life;
are we going to be happy having accomplished a lot, yet
not having put our minds and hearts into any of it?
Put it another way: In prayer, we give ourselves
over to the act of communicating with God. Why can't
we do the same thing with more mundane matters?
Couldn't that be a form of divine communication, too?
And when we perform an act mindfully--be it meditating,
vacuuming or playing Scrabble with a child--we nourish
ourselves, as well. Rather than scattering our
concentration on a dozen things at once, we focus.
We slow down. We give ourselves time to calm down
from the inside out and the luxury of saying: Nothing
is more important right now than this moment, this deed.
We may not get as much done by day's end, but we can feel
more peaceful and satisfied with the work itself.
That's a good way to think of it: Mindfulness is
quality time for the soul.
Don't worry; I'm not going to ask you to become totally
mindful of every step you take. But at least three
times this week, pick a familiar task or situation and
give it your total focus.
Say you're fixing breakfast. Rather than slapping it
together and gulping it down, think about each motion as
you go. How does the kitchen look? How does
the floor feel beneath your feet? Is the sun shining
through the window, a breeze rustling the curtains?
If you're making scrambled eggs, hold the eggs in your
hand for a moment before you break them. Feel the
shape and smoothness. Observe the way the yolks
yield to the tines of your fork and the way the pepper
scatters when you sprinkle it on the mixture. Listen
to the hiss of the pan. See if you can pinpoint the
exact moment in which the eggs turn from liquid to solid,
and then to the precise fluffy consistency you prefer.
Cut into a fresh grapefruit or orange and smell the
fragrant spray that emerges. Admire the color of the
fruit, the tiny liquid-filled sacs packed into each
segment. Even if you're pouring out juice from a
carton, do it slowly. Hold the glass to the light
and think about the fruit being squeezed to yield just
this portion.
It doesn't matter what you choose. Watch your toast
browning. Listen to the cereal fall into the
bowl. Smell the sour tang of your yogurt. Even
heating up leftover pizza can be spiritual if you approach
it correctly.
Then, of course, comes the next part--eating. Again,
use all your senses. Smell the meal before you take
the first bite. Taste the way the salty and sweet
foods mingle in your mouth, try to distinguish the coffee
from the milk stirred inside. Feel the temperatures,
sensations and textures: crunchy, hot, dry, moist,
soft, cool, liquid, creamy. Put your fork and spoon
down between bites and concentrate on what you're chewing
before going for another mouthful. Try to feel the
food making its way down to your stomach and imagine the
nutrients fueling your body for the morning. Above
all, enjoy your breakfast from first bite to last.
Getting a little hungry now? Great.
Think of other mindful activities you could do:
dusting; washing dishes; taking a bath; writing a report;
walking the dog; working out; reading to a child; shopping
for clothes (you'll probably come away with fewer impulse
buys); playing touch football; raking leaves; painting a
room; driving down a country road; in-line skating; doing
laundry; straightening your desk; collecting shells on the
beach; even going to bed. (If you think it's
delicious to snuggle under the covers now, wait until
you're really aware of doing it.)
Once you've completed your mindful task, you can go back
to rushing around and doing nine things at once. But
I'll bet it won't be as appealing anymore.
The Music
Will Play On
Parker J. Palmer and Carrie Newcomer
I've been hearing music from the moment I was born,
Spent a lifetime looking for where it's coming from.
Sometimes I came close to it, sometimes I got off course,
These days I feel I'm heading home to the music's source.
chorus:
If I could, I'd dance this way forever,
But some soon day my dancing here will end.
The music will play on, then one day I'll be gone
I'll dance into the darkness as new life dances in.
At times the music's heavy, then it floats away,
A simple, steady heartbeat can get me through most days.
I'll be out here dancing long as I can feel the beat,
Take my hand, my love, and catch the next dance with me.
chorus
No one knows for certain when their time will come,
But life does not go silent once our dancing's done.
These harmonies will always call from beyond the years,
The heavens dance forever to the music of the spheres.
chorus x 2
Into the holy darkness, where new life begins.
Into the holy darkness, where new life begins.
We
have some
inspiring and motivational books that may interest you. Our main way of supporting this site is
through the sale of books, either physical copies
or digital copies for your Amazon Kindle (including the
online reader). All of the money that we earn
through them comes back to the site
in one way or another. Just click on the picture
to the left to visit our page of books, both fiction and
non-fiction!
Knowing what to limit in your life and what to seek
more of isn't always easy to figure out, let alone
implement. The tendency for all idealists--and
for most women, whether idealistic or not--is to give
selflessly until they drop.
Bob Mason, a friend of mine who has devoted years to
learning the ways of the Pueblo Indians, once returned
from a ceremonial dance and told me about an insight
he received during a "giveaway." (A
giveaway is a ceremony where you place a treasured
belonging on a blanket for someone else to have.
You, too, can take something that you need, so the
ceremony is reciprocal, and all participants are
helped.) Bob heard an inner voice during the
giveaway that simply said, Do not place yourself on
the giveaway blanket because you are not yours to
give.
When you give away what isn't yours in the first
place--the vitality of your soul--you're engaging in
an act of self-sabotage. Your generosity, while
it may appear selfless on the surface, is really
selfish in that it serves the ego (the desire to be
right, look good, feel accepted, be rewarded, feel
holy, and so forth) rather than the soul's purpose,
which is uniquely yours. Serving the ego is
draining, but serving the soul is energizing.
Gina Vance wrote:
It
is helpful to ask whom we serve and why, especially on
the less-than-conscious levels of awareness. For
that which drives us to extinguishment may be
something like: "If only I give enough to
this idealized God figure I am serving and sacrificing
for, then I will someday be returned the favor
[ultimately love]."
Love is always the answer. But the question is
how to honor and love ourselves so that our actions
serve the soul. The soul cooperates with the
Tree of Life--that larger field of creative
energy. The ego, on the other hand, is powered
by our own limited adrenal energy that eventually
burns out. Paying attention to our energy, and
how various acts affect it, is instrumental in
learning how to discern where right boundaries are at
any moment.
Sheila Weidendorf wrote:
Limits
can be liberating--meaning that we can't do
everything, every day, all the time. In no
doesn't really mean no, then yes is meaningless as
well. A little self-awareness and the
willingness to set boundaries can go a long, long way
in maintaining balance in work and life.
Determine where the world's needs and
your own personal skill and joy intersect, and then
put your apples in that basket. Be clear about
what you can and cannot offer, and respect your own
boundaries so that others will respect them,
too. Then work is joyful, balance is a
foundational principle, and there's less there to
cause burnout.
Sheila offers a very clear definition of self-love,
which I think of as a Divine attribute that resides
within each of us. Another vital aspect of this
is asking for help. Joe Buchman described how
this has impacted his life:
Taking
care of a terminally ill spouse can be
overwhelming. Burnout seemed to creep up on me
overnight. I had to force myself to slow down
and take a break, and realize that everything doesn't
have to be perfect. I've also leaned to accept
help. I have a bag of "emotional
tools" I use: I manage my stress with
healthy eating, yoga, and meditation; and I try to get
a good night's sleep each night. I'm so grateful
to my brother who gives me the time to put those tools
to good use.
Lauren Rosenfeld agreed, saying:
For
me, the antidote to burning out is reaching out.
When I'm feeling burned out, it's usually a result of
my belief that I can do it all alone. . . that I can
handle it all myself. When burnout hits, I want
to retreat, which is more of the same, isn't it?
I can do it all by myself; I can recover by myself.
And so I reach out. I allow others to do for me,
to support me, to enfold me. To make me tea or
make me laugh. "I am who I am because of
who you are," says the wise, laughing
heart. And it is with a wise and laughing
heart--a heart that listens to and rejoices with
others--that I reemerge renewed.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
The
human family is very diverse, with many different beliefs and
cultures and ways of life. Many conflicts in our world are
caused
when people are intolerant of the ways that others see the world.
Learning tolerance is an important cornerstone to creating a better
world.
Robert Alan Silverstein
Follow Your Own Course
I recently took place in the first part of what was supposed to be
a very long race on bicycles, and the beginning of that race took
place in Banff, Alberta, Canada. We had a beautiful day for
the start, with sunny skies and even quite a bit of warmth.
That changed pretty quickly, though.
By the third day, the weather had changed significantly, and it
was much colder. Add to that the fact that the mountain
passes that we were supposed to climb after Fernie were socked in
with snow, and it added up to a very dangerous situation.
The chances of the cold and the snow becoming too strong were just
too real, and I decided on that third day that I was going to do
no more mountain passes--and that decision effectively forced me
to drop from the race.
I honestly didn't care, though. There were other factors
involved, but the bottom line was that I knew how treacherous and
dangerous the mountains could be when conditions were poor, and my
safety and well-being were much more important to me and my loved
ones than any course through the mountains during poor
weather. I decided to follow my own course southward, and I
was completely at peace with that decision.
The path
is difficult because it has not been carved;
and it has not been carved because I have not lived before.
Sally Palain
I find it
ironic that we constantly tell young people to
"follow your own path in life," yet when
we're presented with the opportunity to do that very
thing ourselves, we tend to follow the paths that
have been set up for us--career tracks, race
courses, educational tracks, roads in relationships,
and so many more. We tend to do things as
they've been done forever rather than finding our
own ways to go about doing them.
And there are reasons for that. We tend to
follow career paths because of the benefits involved
in doing so, such as having health insurance,
earning pay raises, being promoted, building up
vacation days, etc. These benefits are very
important in many ways, but they also can keep us
"in line," so to speak--many people stay
in jobs that aren't fulfilling or challenging
because they're not willing to give up these
benefits.
But what's the cost of "staying in line,"
of following courses in life that other people have
defined. In the particular race that I
mentioned, there were 13 calls to Search and Rescue
teams on the day I decided not to go into the
mountains, by people who had decided to do so.
They stayed on a course defined to them by other
people and ended up having to be rescued, mostly
because of hypothermia issues.
Each of us
has the right and the responsibility to assess the
roads which lie ahead, and those over which we have traveled,
and if the future road looms ominous or unpromising, and the
roads back uninviting, then we need to gather our resolve and,
carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road
into
another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without
embarrassment, we must be ready to change that one as well.
So many people
ending up being in danger of their lives definitely
made me realize that I had made the right
decision. No one really belonged in those
mountains on that day, especially people pushing
bikes who also didn't have the proper clothing for
those elements. Many people did go up into the
mountains and made it through without having to send
an SOS--but to me, they just got lucky. One
wrong step in a situation they shouldn't have been
in could have been disastrous.
What's does our own journey through life look
like? Are we on a course that reflects our
genuine, authentic selves, or are we following a
path that other people have defined for us?
Are we happy about where we are and the directions
we're moving in, or do we feel trapped, manipulated,
and controlled? If someone else were to ask
us, "are you truly content with where you are
in life?", what would we tell them? We
may not have reached all of our goals so far, but if
we're moving in directions that we love and doing
things that are fulfilling to us, then we truly can
say that we're content with the lives that we're
leading.
As you pass through
life,
pay attention to the signs and stations;
if you don't like the
scenery, pull the emergency cord
and get off
the train. There is no other
conductor in charge. There is no one
who needs
to give you permission to
transfer. This is your life.
Your journey. Your trip to conduct.
Sometimes it's
very important to step back, take some time to
breathe, and re-evaluate just what we're doing and
where we're going. It's important to at least
entertain the notion that no matter what anyone
tells us to the contrary, we don't necessarily have
to follow any paths that others have set up for
us (with a few exceptions, of course--when I was in
the Army, I had agreed to follow any path they sent
me on for a certain amount of time). I knew
that it was dangerous to go up into the mountains,
so I didn't go--I changed my course and went in the
direction that I knew was safer. But at least
13 people went just because that's where they were
told to go--and they ended up paying a very high
price, coming much closer to losing their lives than
they ever would have imagined.
Throw
away all ambition beyond that of doing the day's work
well. The travelers on the road to success live in the
present,
heedless of taking thought for the morrow. Live
neither in the past nor in the future,
but let each day's
work absorb your entire energies.
William Osler
Loving
unattributed
The act of loving someone else brings us together, closes whatever the
gap between us. It draws us into the world we call our own.
Love is the great equalizer.
We no longer wish to conquer or dominate those whom we love. And
our love for one increases our capacity for loving others. Love
heals another, and love heals ourselves, both giving it and receiving
it.
Love from another acknowledges our existence, assuring us that we do
count, that our presence is valued by someone else. It is human to
need these reminders, these assurances. But our need for them is
lessened each time we acknowledge another person in our midst.
Where love is absent, people, even in a crowd, feel alone, forgotten,
unimportant. No doubt we can each recall times of quiet
desperation--moments of alienation. We must reach out to someone
and send thoughts of love to someone who may need to be
remembered. Our loving thoughts for persons close and far away
always reach their destination. They do unify us.
People succeed because they believe, not only
that they can and
will succeed,
but also that success is worth the price they pay for it.
Tom Hopkins
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
™
