You are your most important critic. There is no
opinion so vitally important to your well being as the
opinion you have of yourself. As you read this you're
talking to yourself right now. "Let's see if I
understand what he means by that. . . How does that compare
with my experiences? - I'll make note of that - try that
tomorrow - I already knew that... I already do
that." I believe this self-talk, this
psycholinguistics or language of the mind can be controlled
to work for us, especially in the building of
self-confidence and creativity. We're all talking to
ourselves every moment of our lives, except during certain
portions of our sleeping cycle. We're seldom even aware that
we're doing it. We all have a running commentary in
our heads on events and our reactions to them.
- Be aware of the silent conversation you have with
yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic?
Do you reinforce your own success or negate it? Are
you comfortable saying to yourself, "That's more like
it". "Now we're in the groove."
"Things are working out well." "I am
reaching my financial goals." "I'll do it
better next time."
- When winners fail, they view it as a temporary
inconvenience, a learning experience, an isolated event and
a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.
- When winners succeed, they reinforce that success, by
feeling rewarded rather than guilty about the achievement
and the applause.
- When winners are paid a compliment, they simply
respond: "Thank you." They accept
value graciously when it is paid. They pay value in
their conversations with themselves and with other people.
A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the
ability to spend time alone, without constantly needing
other people around. Being comfortable and enjoying
solitary time reveals inner peace and centering.
People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with
others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be propped
up by the company of others.
Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When
introducing yourself in any new association, take the
initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly; and
always extend your hand first, looking the person in the
eyes when you speak.
In all your telephone communications, answer the telephone
pleasantly, immediately giving your own name to the caller,
before you ask who's calling. Whenever you initiate a
call, always give your own name up front, before you ask for
the party you want and before you state your business.
Leading with your own name underscores that a person of
value is making the call.
Don't brag. People who trumpet their exploits and
shout for service are actually calling for help. The
showoffs, braggarts and blowhards are desperate for
Don't tell your problems to people, unless they're directly
involved with the solutions. And don't make
excuses. Successful people seek those who look and
sound like success. Always talk affirmatively about
the progress you are trying to make.
As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom
you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind,
become a master mime, and learn all you can about how he or
she succeeded. This is especially true with things you
fear. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and
learn from him or her.
When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or
rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to
success, and view ridicule as ignorance. After a
rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for
Blessings. Things you are endowed with that you often
take for granted like life itself, health, living in an
abundant country, family, friends, career. A is for
accomplishments. Think of the many things you are
proud of that you have done so far. And G is for
Goals. Think of your big dreams and plans for the
future that motivate you. If you took your BAG -
blessings, accomplishments and goals - to a party, and
spread them on the floor, in comparison to all your friends
and the people you admire, you'd take your own bag home,
realizing that you have as much going for yourself as anyone
else. Always view rejection as part of one
performance, not as a turndown of the performer.
And, enjoy those special meetings with yourself. Spend
this Saturday doing something you really want to do. I
don't mean next month or someday. This Saturday enjoy
being alive and being able to do it. You deserve
it. There will never be another you. This
Saturday will be spent. Why not spend at least one day
a week on You?!
Action Idea: Go for one entire day and night without
saying anything negative to yourself or to others.
Make a game of it. If a friend or colleague catches
you saying something negative, you must put a dollar in a
drawer or container toward a dinner or evening out with that
person. Do this for one month and see who has had to
pay the most money toward the evening.
Reprinted with permission
from Jim Rohn's Weekly E-zine.