with a variety of people from all walks of life has
given me some insight into the process of
success. Regardless of our background, skills,
experience, or attitude, we can't be successful
until we feel confident about who we are and what
we're doing. It's one of those cart before the
horse things, since we tend to think that being
successful will give us confidence. In fact,
feeling confident FIRST will allow us to experience
success and the achievement of our goals. Here
are some ways to connect to the confidence within
aware that confidence comes from inside, not
You can't use others as a yardstick. Other
people take their cue from you. If you act
confident, people will have confidence in
you. If you are hesitant or timid, no one
will be able to put their trust in you.
with your strengths (and we ALL have them).
Make a list of your strengths, no matter how
silly the list may seem at first glance.
If you can boil a 'mean' pot of water or touch
your nose with your toes, let yourself get in
touch with how you feel about that. That
feeling is known as confidence.
the memory of confident times to be your
It doesn't matter if it happened in the 2nd
grade--remembering a time that you were on top
of the world, if only for a moment, can be all
you need to feel confident here and now, in this
is like rabbits: it multiplies
Once you start feeling confident about
everything you do well, you start looking for
other areas you feel confident in. You
also start feeling confident about things you
haven't done before. You'll be able to
more honestly assess your skills and expertise
and give yourself the opportunity to
succeed. Allow the feeling to multiply
just like all those bunnies in that commercial
where the gentleman has to get approval for a
an attitude of gratitude.
Gratitude puts (and keeps) a smile on your
face. What's the first thing you notice
about confident people? They're smiling.
your rules for feeling confident, then rewrite
If I asked the question "What must be in
place in order for you to feel
confident?", I can guarantee that you
will have a long list of conditions that must
ALL be in place in order for you to feel
confident. If I asked you who wrote those
rules, you would answer "I did,"
although it may take you a moment or two to
realize that fact. If you wrote the
current set, take the initiative and rewrite
your rules. Make them simple, stated in
the positive, and totally in your control.
(P.S. There is nothing more in your control than
your thoughts. That's why #3 works.) One
more thing: make sure your new list is divided
by OR's, not AND's.
out with confident people.
Confidence is contagious. Actually, all
feelings are contagious. Which group will
make you feel better? One that exudes
strength, confidence and positivity? Or
one that is constantly seeing the worst that
could happen, fearful of trying anything new,
afraid to be embarrassed? Hang out with
the one that makes you feel like you can
accomplish anything you want!
Finishing anything at all gives you
confidence. The knowledge that you can put
your mind to something and do it is all that is
required to feel confident. Look around
and finish everything you see unfinished.
you can kill the feeling of confidence.
Just as you can't find confidence outside of
yourself, no one else can stop you from feeling
confident. Have you ever noticed that
really confident people are oblivious to your
opinion of them? No matter what you've
done, it's only YOUR opinion that matters.
worry about getting 'above' yourself.
Some of us don't want to get too big for our
britches. We think that downplaying our
abilities is the way to go. The truth is
that thinking is just another way to keep
playing small. It undermines our ability
to succeed because after a while we start
believing that 'it' was no big deal. As
Norman Vincent Peale expressed it:
"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your
abilities! Without a humble but reasonable
confidence in your own powers you cannot be
successful or happy." I like that
phrase, 'humble but reasonable.' If you
keep that in mind, you can't go wrong.
on the outside begins by living with integrity on
the inside. -Brian Tracy
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great
undertakings. -Samuel Johnson
Having once decided to achieve a certain task,
achieve it at all costs of tedium and
distaste. The gain in self-confidence of
having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the
universe against me. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you have confidence, you can have a lot of
fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing
things. -Joe Namath
* * *
Louise Morganti Kaelin. Louise was a Life
Success Coach who passed away in 2011. Rest in