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For all
we know, we could wait at a red light and it might never
change. That's happened before. Or, it could
start flashing amber. Or, it could change to
blue. Or, stranger things could happen. When
we have set ideas about how things should manifest, of how
things will happen to us, we're limiting the possibilities
of luck, chance connections, grace, and miracles.
When we're set on something, and it has to happen that
way, we're closing the door to wonderful surprises.
When a hand keeps grasping after something, it's not open,
waiting to receive.
We have
expectations about everything in life. We expect
that something will come in the mail, that we're going to
have a fantastic vacation, that a stock will rise 40
percent by January, that the new people in our lives are
going to do wonderful things for us, that our children
will succeed in life. By projecting these
expectations, we're attempting to order reality. Not
only are we proclaiming how reality should be but we're
also deciding that we know what is best for us.
This is
the height of egotism. Ego or I-ness cuts us off
from our Source and separates us from our Higher
Power. The force of ego is about making its own
mountain for all the world to see, and standing tall at
its summit.
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The force of love is
about serving our Higher Power, glorifying that divine connection,
and letting our ego slip away while we flow freely in the stream
of life, striving to realize the heart-felt goals that express our
highest, best Self.
As our
spirituality develops and we live more in higher consciousness, we
exist more fully in the present. Existing in present time,
we're less aware of ourselves and time, flowing in that higher
consciousness, so that time begins to feel almost elastic and
almost nonexistent. That elasticity is the beginning of
eternity. Beginning to enter into eternity is not possible
unless the ego is surrendered. When we're attached to our
expectations--in effect, demanding that events unfold according to
our will--we are energizing our ego and telling our Higher
Power that we know best.
Relinquishing
expectations is not being passive. It's the opposite; it's
freeing ourselves to concentrate on the task at hand and to flow
with what is truly so. What is so is the reality occurring
now, which we need to recognize and respond to.
Eliminating
expectations does not at all mean that you stop your good
intentions. You can form the intention and let go of it,
letting your Higher Power work out the details in your best
interest. That is humility. A humble person can have
potent intention but relinquish nitty-gritty expectations about
the how and when. In humility, you surrender to your Higher
Power and want your attention free to be with that Higher
Love. The greater the immersion in that Higher Love, the
less strident the ego's demands.
Eliminating
expectations is but one small feature of inculcating
humility. Reams could be written about humility, the most
beautiful of virtues and the most difficult ultimately to
receive. For ultimately, humility is not grabbed, as if you
are a corporate raider intent on amassing the most virtuous
spiritual portfolio. It's a very slow, natural process.
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Another
thing I learned in Asia that I'd like to give you, which
may be pretty far out for some people, and if it is, discard
it: Rid
yourself of expectations. Buddha once said a
magical thing. He
had a way of saying a lot of magical things, very
simply. He said,
"When you cease expecting, you have all
things." That is wondrous.
"When you cease expecting, you have all
things." If you go around
doing your thing without expectation, then you already have
everything you need. If they do give your something in
return, you
take it with open arms. It should always come as a
surprise. But if
you expect a response and it comes, it's a bore. Cease
expecting,
and you have all things. Take whatever people give
you. If you
appreciate it, hug it, kiss it, and take it in joy, but don't expect
it.
If you want pain, just go around with expectations.
People are
not here to meet your expectations.
Leo
Buscaglia
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My
expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21.
Everything since then has been a bonus.
Stephen Hawking |
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