We
send out our energies in the service of others and there comes back
to us that which becomes the food for our souls. -Ralph
W. Sockman
O for
a life of sensations rather than of thoughts! -John
Keats
In those
moments when we forget ourselves--not thinking
"Am I happy?", but completely oblivious to our little ego--
we spend a brief but beautiful holiday in heaven. -Eknath
Easwaran
A
note about this article: Soraya was a
Columbian singer/songwriter who lived a sadly
short but rich and full life. She was
diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 31,
and she became a strong spokesperson for breast
cancer awareness; unfortunately, the disease
ended up taking her life when she was just
37. This is her farewell message to her
fans.
The road hasn't always been easy; nevertheless,
hope, dreams and illusions have never left
me. Dreams of which you've always been
unconditional accomplices, sometimes walking by my side,
singing with me, or carrying my message of hope
to those places that I haven't been able to get
to. For that, a thousand thanks.
During this time together, the pages of my
internal diary have always been kept
active. Some have been filled with stories
that many of you have wanted to share with me
through emails or letters, others with
experiences that we've lived through together,
and still others with personal thoughts born of
your generosity. Of these latter pages,
I've had the privilege of sharing some of them
in different forms: my web page, my
interviews, my songs, or at my concerts at which
your applause fed my heart. In the end,
these pages have stopped being internal and have
turned themselves into shared pages, solid and
full of sincerity, creating a book that I hope
is the answer to many questions that still
haven't been asked or answered.
Allowing myself to write my story forced me to
confirm that if the material returns are
necessary for the daily life, the spiritual
returns are those that really have allowed me to
live this life. All of the positive
energy, all of the love that one day I succeeded
in sharing with you all, I have received in
return a million times over.
Thank
you for opening your hearts to my music; without
your ears, my songs would be only a dream.
My art has always been for you and by you.
I hope that it allows you to feel, to think, to
appreciate, to question, to , and above all, to
love.
My journey these days is not easy, but I want
you to know that your unconditional support has
always been in my heart. I have no doubt
that each lived experience, as simple or
complicated as it may be, has contributed to the
solid base of my existence and has made each
moment of my life especially important. As
I said before, I've fulfilled my dream and on
this day I couldn't ask for more.
My mission started as a dream and turned into
reality because of you. Today my mission
no longer has just my voice, and it grows day by
day because of your voices. It doesn't
matter if we had the chance to smile face to
face or not; each one of you has been and will
always be a blessing to me.
My physical story may arrive at its end, but I'm
sure that what exists in all of your hearts will
continue for eternity. I'm confident that
my existence will leave tracks in your lives
that will benefit the futures of many women, and
that the light of my life will spark the light
of many more families.
There is no pain in vain because the essence of
life consists in transcending it for others and
in giving the value of my experience and my
fight in order to turn their days into a better
existence. We still haven't reached the
goal, but I know that day by day we get closer
to it. I'm not losing this battle today
because I know that the battle I've fought isn't
in vain, but that it will help to win a bigger
battle, the early detection and prevention of
this terrible evil.
Now it's your turn to continue with this
mission. I desire from my heart to infect
you with my love of life, and that you be a
channel that carries to many people this message
that may save their lives. I ask you to
understand this opportunity that you now have to
prevent an enemy that is able to end your life.
Don't stop fighting! There's a long road
to travel and this battle is worth it.
"When you just listen to the beat of your
heart,
You'll find the reason between its rhythm and
the silence."
With love,
Soraya
El camino no ha sido siempre fácil, sin embargo
la esperanza, los sueños e ilusiones no han
dejado nunca de estar presentes. Sueños de los
cuales ustedes han sido cómplices
incondicionales, algunas veces caminando a mi lado, cantando
conmigo, o llevando mi mensaje de
esperanza a esos lugares a los que físicamente
no he podido llegar. Por eso, mil gracias.
Durante este tiempo juntos, las páginas
de mi diario interno se han mantenido siempre
activas. Algunas se han llenado con historias
que muchos de ustedes han querido compartir
conmigo por medio de e-mails o cartas, otras por
experiencias vividas juntos y algunas más por
pensamientos personales nacidos de su
generosidad. De estas últimas páginas, he
tenido el privilegio de compartir algunas en
diferentes formas, mi página web, mis
entrevistas, mis canciones, o en mis conciertos
en donde sus aplausos alimentaban mi corazón.
Últimamente estas páginas han dejado de ser
internas y se han convertido en páginas
compartidas, sólidas y llenas de sinceridad,
creando un libro que espero sea la respuesta a
muchas preguntas que no han sido aún elaboradas
o contestadas.
El permitirme escribir mi historia me hizo
confirmar que si bien las recompensas materiales
son necesarias para el diario vivir, las
recompensas espirituales son las que realmente
me han permitido vivir ésta vida. Toda esa
energía positiva, todo ese amor que un día
logré compartir con ustedes lo he recibido
siempre de vuelta multiplicado en un millón.
Gracias por abrir sus corazones a mi música,
sin sus oídos mis canciones serían sólo un
sueño. Mi arte ha sido siempre por ustedes y
para ustedes. Espero que les permita
sentir, pensar, apreciar, cuestionar, añorar y sobre todo, amar.
Mi jornada hoy día no es fácil, pero quiero
que sepan que su apoyo incondicional ha estado
siempre en mi corazón. No tengo duda que cada
experiencia vivida, por simple o complicada que
sea, ha contribuido a la sólida base de mi
existencia y ha hecho que cada momento de mi
vida sea especialmente importante. Como dije
antes, he cumplido mi sueño y el día de hoy no
puedo pedir más.
Mi misión empezó como un sueño y se convirtió
en una realidad por ustedes. Hoy ha dejado de
tener sólo mi voz y crece día a día por medio
de las suyas. No importa si tuvimos la
oportunidad de sonreír cara a cara o no, cada
uno de ustedes ha sido y serán siempre una
bendición para mí.
Mi historia física puede llegar a su fin, pero
estoy segura que la que existe en el corazón de
ustedes seguirá presente por la eternidad.
Confío
en que mi existencia dejará huella en la vida
de ustedes beneficiando en un futuro a muchas
mujeres y que la luz de mi vida iluminará la de
muchas familias más.
No hay dolor en vano porque la esencia de
la vida consiste en trascender en los demás y
en regalar el valor de mi experiencia y de mi
lucha para hacer de sus días un mejor existir.
Aun no alcanzamos la meta, pero se que día a día
estamos mas cerca de ella. Hoy no pierdo esta
batalla porque sé que lo que he luchado no es
en vano, si no que ayudará a vencer una batalla
mayor, la de la detección temprana y prevención
de este terrible mal.
Ahora les toca a ustedes seguir con nuestra
misión. Deseo de corazón contagiarles mi amor
a la vida y que seas tú un canal que lleve a
mucha gente este mensaje que puede salvarles la
vida. Te pido comprendas la oportunidad que
tienes ahora de prevenir un enemigo que puede
acabar con tu vida.
¡No se dejen vencer! Hay mucho camino que
recorrer y esta lucha vale la pena.
". . . Cuando sólo escuchas el latido de tu
corazón. Encontrarás entre su ritmo y el
silencio la razón. . "
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Failure is a concept that seems to have been invented
by humans to somehow "put us in our place"
when we're compared to other human beings. We
often use failure as a way to judge others or
especially ourselves--failure points out some sort of
defect and allows us to berate that person or judge
ourselves harshly. . . or show compassion and help the
other person or ourselves to learn something new.
The interesting thing is, though, that
"failure" in itself isn't really a true
concept. One way of looking at it from a
spiritual perspective is that with each effort that we
make that "fails," we learn something
new--or even two or three new things. And when
we keep that truth in mind, how can we possibly
consider the attempt to be a failure?
I may want to lose five pounds in five weeks, but lose
only two in that time. When I call myself a
failure, I'm judging the effort to have been
useless. When I reflect on the effort though and
try to figure out why I'm only two pounds lighter
rather than five, there can be a lot to learn.
And think about it for just a moment--if we really are
spirits who are having a human experience for a
limited time, then what could be more important to us
than learning all that we can while we're here?
That's not to say that we shouldn't try to succeed at
what we do, but it is to say that sometimes we have to
redefine what we consider success to be. It can
actually be pretty dangerous to us if we develop an
attitude that says, "I don't care if I fail or
succeed because there's no such thing as
failure." If we approach our goals in that
way, we're probably never going to give our all to
them, and probably never approach them with the love
and passion necessary to have them turn out in
positive ways. That's never a good way to
approach life.
I've failed in relationships, and I almost never
learned anything from individual failures. What
ended up happening, though, was that I started to see
patterns in my failures--it took a few of them before
I started to recognize the patterns, but once I did I
was able to modify my behaviors so that I approached
relationships in much healthier ways. Had I
"succeeded" in the first relationship, I
still would have approached it in the unhealthy and
ineffective ways, and there's a good chance the
relationship would have been doomed.
We're in a process of learning and discovering while
we're here on this planet, and both learning and
discovering involve following false leads sometimes,
taking the wrong road and ending up somewhere we never
intended on getting to. That's okay.
Sometimes, some of our most important discoveries come
in places we never expected to be, but where we end up
anyway. And that's one of the nice things about
life--it teaches us whether we're following a
successful plan or not. And very often, our
supposed "failures" help us to get more out
of life than anything else ever could have.
If all that I say here is true, then what we have to
work on more than anything else, it seems, is our
tolerance for failure, in ourselves and in
others. If our kids try to be good, but fail,
then we have to look for the lesson in that
reality--the lesson for the kids and for us. If
I try to write a novel and fail at doing so, I have to
look at what I got out of the experience that will
allow me to grow and develop as a person.
I've "failed" at many things in my life--I
can't play the guitar or piano well, though I've
tried; I can't skate on rollerblades well, though I've
tried; I've had some business ideas that never got off
the ground; and on and on. But I've always
noticed that some of my later successes have come
because of lessons that I learned in my earlier
"failures"--in other words, I have knowledge
and wisdom to pull from that I wouldn't have had
without those failures. So they aren't really
failures at all, are they?
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
We distinguish the excellent person from the common
person
by saying that the former is the one
who makes great demands
on him or herself, and the latter the one who
makes no demands
on him or herself.
Jose Ortega y Gasset
Strategies for
Living in the Now
Over and over again, in many
different contexts, I hear the concept repeated: we need to
be present in the current moment if we're to get all we can out of
life. We need to be aware of who and what are with us right
here and right now, rather than focusing on the past or the
present. Focusing on the past can lead to a lot of
second-guessing and regret, while focusing on the future can keep
us in a state of anticipation instead of appreciation-- anxiety
and fear instead of engagement and learning.
These days we seem to be obsessed with pulling ourselves away from
the "right here" part of the Now. We allow
ourselves to become addicted to our technological devices that
constantly pull us away from our surroundings: as soon as we
get a phone call from someone who's somewhere else, we no longer
are focused on our surroundings, but start thinking about
something somewhere else. The people around us fade into the
background instead of remaining in the foreground, where they
really should be. When we go online to check out Facebook or
any of the other social media sites, we're focusing on things that
are posted by people who aren't where we are, and we take our
minds away from the here and now.
I love keeping in touch with people whom I don't see regularly
through Facebook, but I make a strong effort to limit my time
there because I know that the here and now are much more important
than the posts from people who are living different realities than
I am. I owe the people around me my attention, and I will
give it to them.
Each new moment presents an
opportunity for conscious choice.
We can choose to let go of the past.
We can choose to be here now.
We can choose to accept
responsibility for ourselves. . . .
We can choose to awaken.
Or we can choose to remain asleep
and unconscious.
I've read
zillions of articles and paragraphs and sentences
and books telling me that I have to live in the Now
if I want to be happy, but almost none of them
addresses how to do so. So I'll try to
address it. First of all, the three words that
seem most important to me concerning the now are
mindfulness, awareness, and acceptance. One of
Leonard's words belongs there, too, I think:
choice. But our choices will be determined by
our level of acceptance and awareness; without them,
our choices will remain unconscious, for the most
part.
One thing that I do regularly is to take stock of my
present situation. Where am I? I look
around and notice things that I'm really grateful
for. Right now, for example, in my living
room, I see several pieces of furniture that I
really like, books that I love reading, music that I
love hearing, plants that make the room more livable
for me, pictures on the walls, and a television set
and some movies that we watch sometimes.
Seeing these things make me realize that even though
things may get tight now and then, we really are
quite wealthy when compared to people in the rest of
the world. It makes me aware of just how many
opportunities are available to us right here and
right now.
Beyond what I can see, I have a wife who is a very
loving and caring person, step-children who are also
very caring people, parents who live far away but
who still love me, a brother and sister who both
love me, friends in different parts of the country
and world, and places that I can visit when I want
to in the future, once I make the decision to do so.
Once I take stock of my situation, I get more
specific. What task is before me right
now? Grading papers? Working on the
website? Taking a quick nap? Washing the
dishes? Contacting a friend? One of the
things that keeps us somewhat frozen sometimes is
having too much to do, but there's a solution for
that that I practice regularly. Whenever I
have five tasks in front of me, I sit down and write
them down so that I have a clear idea of what's
facing me and when it needs to be done. Then I
prioritize them based on when they need to be done
and how much work they are. I then tackle the
most important one, and this allows me to completely
forget the other four until I'm done. This is
important because I'm able to give my full attention
to the task at hand, without worrying about the
others--worrying about them would take my mind to
the future and cause anxiety. But I know
they'll get done as soon as I'm done with task one,
so they're no longer a cause of anxiety.
Many people live as if life were a dress
rehearsal for some later date.
It isn't. In fact, no one has a guarantee that he or she
will be here
tomorrow. Now is the only time we have, and the only
time that we
have any control over. When our attention is in the
present moment,
we push fear from our minds. . . . Practice keeping your
attention
on the here and now. Your efforts will pay great
dividends.
Much of my
strategy for being present in the moment depends on
things that I make a conscious decision not
to do. I don't carry a cell phone with me
because whenever I get a call from someone else
who's somewhere else, my mind is taken away from
where I am. If I'm with a friend and my wife
calls to talk about something at home, my mind is no
longer there in my present situation, and that's not
fair to my friend or to me. Human beings
survived fine for thousands of years without cell
phones, and these little pieces of technology are
causing much more damage than they are being
helpful--I may be able to get information from my
phone, but when I'm on it I'm not able to learn any
wisdom from the people who are with me. I lose
the chance to talk about their lives, their thoughts
and ideas, their dreams and fears. I lose the
chance to contribute to their lives by being a good
listener. I've squandered a great opportunity
in the here and now.
I also don't allow myself to think too much about
the past or the future. When I start to do so,
I check myself because it's usually not very
productive. Sometimes I'll have a nice memory
of something that happened in the past, and there's
no problem with allowing that memory to wash over me
and make me smile. It's one way of enjoying
the present moment. The problem is with the
thoughts that bring stress and anger and resentment
and regret. Those are the thoughts that I stop
in their tracks because they're damaging my ability
to live my life. If I felt good five minutes
ago but I'm now filled with anger because of
something that happened five years ago, then I am not
living my life fully in the present moment.
It's important to have strategies in place to deal
with such thoughts. In my case, reading often
helps, becoming focused on something completely
different, or even watching an episode of a funny
television show or talking to someone about their
lives.
It's very, very easy to worry about the future, too,
but that worry doesn't do anything to change the
course that our lives take in the future. If
something terrible may happen tomorrow, I can either
spend my present moment preparing for it--but not
worrying about it--or finding something else to do,
trusting that I'll be able to deal with it when it
gets here tomorrow. I've been able to deal
with a lot of difficult things in my life--I'll be
able to deal with this, too. Perhaps I may
spend my now asking a friend for advice on how to
deal with it if it happens, or reading up on how
others have dealt with similar situations. If
I think I may run out of money in three weeks, I can
examine ways to cut my spending and to earn more
money in other ways. Spending the present
moment in active preparation is much different that
spending the present moment worrying about what may
or may not happen.
People who are “being” are fully present.They are totally engaged in
the moment. This engagement includes an easy appreciation and sense
of connection with
whomever or whatever they are relating to
at the time.
These
people are aware
of a job well done or a difficulty surmounted
and
will respect and often acknowledge
the person who has
accomplished it.
“Being” is a state of heart and mind
that is receptive
and able to listen carefully.
Sallirae Henderson
Sometimes it
seems that getting the most out of our Now is
strictly a mental matter, something that if we want
to accomplish, we need to have control over our
minds and thoughts. For the most part, that's
true. But there is a physical element to it,
too--we can take actions that will make us feel more
alive, more connected to the present moments as they
present themselves. If I'm feeling a lack of
energy, maybe I need to go for a walk--even if it's
raining or windy. Some of the most enjoyable
walks I've ever taken have been in the rain.
Perhaps cleaning the house will energize me, at the
same time that I'm accomplishing a task that I know
needs to be done. Perhaps right here and right
now I can apologize to someone I've wronged, an act
that will clear any guilt that I've been
feeling. While I almost never watch television
programs when they're broadcast, my wife and I have
a select few on dvd that allow us to watch uplifting
or simply entertaining episodes to raise our
spirits--enjoying other people's creations is a
completely legitimate way of enjoying our lives, as
long as we don't allow them to become addictions.
All in all, there are many ways that we can make the
most of our present moments, but the most important
thing to keep in mind is that each moment is
different, and each moment brings us a different set
of opportunities to make the most of it. Once
we're aware and mindful enough to recognize what
they are, we can start using them to make sure that
our present moments are ones that contribute to our
lives and our happiness--not take away from them.
The
praises of others may be of use
in teaching us not what we are,
but what we ought to be.
Augustus Hare
It
is difficult to know
what to do with so much happiness.
With sadness there is something to rub against,
a wound to tend with lotion and cloth.
When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up,
something to hold in your hands,
like ticket stubs or change.
But
happiness floats.
It doesn't need you to hold it down.
It doesn't need anything.
Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing,
and disappears when it wants to.
You are happy either way.
Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful tree house
and now live over a quarry of noise and dust
cannot make you unhappy.
Everything has a life of its own, it too could
wake up filled with possibilities
of coffee cake and ripe peaches,
and love even the floor which needs to be swept,
the soiled linens and scratched records. . .
Since there is no place large enough
to contain so much happiness,
you shrug, you raise your hands,
and it flows out of you
into everything you touch. You are not responsible.
You take no credit, as the night sky takes no credit for the moon,
but continues to hold it, and share it, and in that way, be known.
Naomi
Shihab Nye
from "So Much Happiness"
The
world is a looking-glass, and gives back to everyone
the
reflection of our own faces. Frown at it, and it
in turn will look
sourly on you; laugh at it and with
it, and it is
a jolly, kind companion.
William
Makepeace Thackeray
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
