Welcome
to today, and thank you for dropping by.
Another week and month have
slipped
into the past, and we keep on keeping on, all of us
doing our best to do
the best
we can, for ourselves and for the other people in
our lives. We hope
that you're
able to do a lot of good in this new week of yours!
What does it mean to be empowered? To empower means
to give or add power, to propel. When you're
empowered you feel strong, alive, and clear, with a
vibrant energy that runs through your body. When you
make choices that empower you, you are thrust into the
present moment. You experience a deep inner knowing
that you are exactly what you need to be. When you
feel empowered, you have access to higher levels of
consciousness. Because you are choosing to move
forward in a powerful way, your mind is quiet and void of
its usual negative chatter. People who are empowered
stand up for themselves and invite others to do the
same. They are in a state of being where pure
love--love of life, love of self, and love of
others--abounds. They provide hope to those who
shrink in the presence of everyday life. People who
feel empowered are natural leaders who inspire those
around them. This Right Question--"Does this
choice empower me or does it disempower me?"--will
give you the ability to access the state of empowerment
any time you want it.
Sitting on my desk is a sign that reads, ARE YOU OVER YOUR
SKIS? I keep it there as a reminder of what
empowerment feels like. Being empowered means
feeling the exhilaration of moving effortlessly down a
mountain. It is a state of being in balance with the
laws of nature, where you are giving all that you
have--not holding on, not looking back, but staying keenly
focused on where you want to go.
For those
of you who aren't skiers, one thing you quickly learn when you
start skiing is that if your weight is not over your skis you
will be thrown off balance. New skiers typically try to
lean back--into the hill--thinking that this is where they will
find safety. But if you try to go down the mountain
leaning into the hill you are actually much more likely to take
a spill and land on your rear.
To stay on your feet and have a smooth ride you must go against
your natural instincts to hold on. In the forward position
you will actually find solid ground--a safe, fluid movement that
will allow you to flow down the hill with great ease and
joy. This is exactly what empowerment feels like.
When you are moving full speed in the direction of your desires,
taking action, letting go, and being in perfect alignment with
the universe, you are empowering yourself and your life.
Asking this Right Question will quickly move you out of the past
and into the present moment, because you can actually feel
the experience of empowerment inside your body. You know
that your choices empower you when they leave you feeling strong
and secure inside. You know you have made a disempowering
choice when you feel insecure, inadequate, and resigned. . . .
You are either empowering or disempowering yourself in your
daily behaviors. Before you start to eat something, you
can ask yourself, "Will eating this food empower me or
disempower me?" Of course, you need to make sure you
have your goals and dreams firmly in your awareness as you do
this. Buying a new outfit may seem like an empowering
choice in the moment, but if your goal is to save money you
would need to ask yourself, "Given my commitment to save
money, would buying this outfit empower me?" Or if
your goal is to have a more loving, supporting relationship with
your spouse and he or she has asked you to curb your spending
habits, you would want to ask yourself, "Given my
commitment to having a better relationship with my spouse, would
buying this outfit empower me or disempower me?" You
can ask yourself this question if you are thinking about not
telling a friend what you're upset about or missing your son's
school picnic. If you find yourself tempted to run just
one more errand on your way home, knowing that doing so will
make you late for dinner, you can ask, "Is this an
empowering choice?"
This question challenges you once again to make your actions
conscious. Before making any choice, ask yourself this
Right Question and look deeply within for the answer. You
will often find that just by checking in with yourself and
asking, "Does this choice leave me feeling weak or
strong?" you will be able to see whether the action you are
about to take will empower you or disempower you. At every
moment we are making choices that empower us or we are making
choices that do just the opposite. Empowerment is free; it
costs nothing. It's a choice that only you can make.
A
sobering song for this week. If you watch, please
remember that these aren't actors, and this is the reality
that they face each day while all over the world, other
people are enjoying their meals at home and dealing with
usually minor issues:
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I once read a passage that spoke of "greeting the
spirit within" someone else, a concept that at
the time was fascinating to me, but which has become
pretty normal for me these days (though still quite
fascinating!). The author was talking about
looking at other people not as just human beings, but
also as the spirits that are "inhabiting"
(for lack of a better word) the human bodies that
we're seeing.
Think about that for a moment. Yes, you're
seeing the blonde woman who's about five feet six and
who's wearing the green top and black pants, and
that's all that we tend to think is standing in front
of us. If she's attractive to us, we may treat
her a bit better than we would someone who looks
unpleasant to us; if she's rude to us we may judge her
and think negative things about her. Most of our
reactions to different situations and actions are
pretty much programmed into us, and they're mostly
based on what we see and hear and feel.
But what about that which we can't see? What
about the spirit behind this woman, the eternal
element that is a part of her? Can we
acknowledge that she does have an eternal spirit, and
treat her thusly? If I acknowledge her spirit
and even greet it, I not limiting myself to greeting
the person who speaks in a certain way and acts in
certain ways--I'm expanding my own consciousness and
awareness to include her spirit in my field of
vision. And while I may not be able to see the
actual spirit itself (does it glow? does it have
a shape?), I can see the person I'm regarding as much,
much more than my sense allow me to see, hear, feel,
or smell.
And so what? you may ask, and that's a very good
question. I do have an answer for you. The
reality is that when we can expand our awareness to
include another person's true being, that spirit that
is in that person, we also expand our own lives and
make them something much fuller and richer. It's
as if we've been living our lives in one room for
years, and suddenly we find that there's a door in the
wall and we discover five other rooms that we can now
make a part of our lives. Because we've expanded
our knowledge of what lies behind the door in the
wall, our lives now are filled with more potential and
more possibility. Nothing has changed--the rooms
always were there--except our perception and our
knowledge, but our world is now different.
That man standing in line before you at the
supermarket? He's a spirit, and he has taken
form in this particular body and he's living out a
life along with us on this particular planet.
And that little girl with him is also a spirit, just
starting out on this human experience that we're all
having. When you smile at him or her, are you
touching the spirit, or just the person? Are we
relating to just the perceived identity that each
person has, or is there a deeper connection that many
of us are afraid of having?
Which is a question that leads to another one that's
fascinating to consider: why are so many of us
afraid of making deeper connections with other people,
if we are truly eternal spirits? Fear shouldn't
be a part of who we are, and the fact that so many of
us are afraid would be a good argument against the
entire idea that we are spirits, don't you
think? It just doesn't make sense that eternal
spirits could be afraid of other spirits.
My own idea is that one of the most important lessons
we have to deal with as human beings is that of coming
to grip with our fears and not allowing them to
control us any longer. As humans, we have
fears--they're a part of who we are, and one of the
limitations put upon us once we take human form.
If we recognize our spirituality, though, then we have
a very good chance of dealing with those fears in very
positive ways. And if we are able to greet the
spirit in other people, we'll be looking at them much
more deeply than we would be otherwise, and we'll have
taken a very important step towards acknowledging and
celebrating our own spirituality.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
There's a
difference between interest and commitment. When
you're interested
in doing something, you do it only
when circumstance permit. When
you're committed
to something, you accept no excuses, only
results.
unattributed
Strategies for
Developing Realistic Beliefs
I almost used the word
"positive" in the title instead of the word
"realistic," but somehow that just didn't work. I
don't know that all of our beliefs can be positive in nature, for
don't we have to develop beliefs about some of the horrible things
that we see going on in our world? Isn't it just as
important to have beliefs about people who seem to do all they can
to be evil? We may believe that the shooter who just killed
five people is hurting inside and needs love and sympathy, but
that belief in and of itself won't do us any good when we try to
deal with that shooter effectively.
Personally, I do believe that people who do things like that are
hurting inside. I believe that some of the angriest and
harmful people on the planet are responding to their fears and the
things that they've been missing in their lives, such as love and
compassion and nurturing. But I also believe that they've
crossed a line with their actions that makes it impossible for us
to treat them as hurting individuals and important for us to treat
them as dangerous individuals. That said, I also believe
that we should develop systems that would allow us to treat them
as dangerous in an effort to bring them back to simply hurting,
and then we could deal with them in different ways.
But what is a belief? We seem to have several different
types of beliefs in our minds. Is my belief that God exists
the same as my belief that our political system is in serious
trouble? After all, one belief is based on an awful lot of
evidence while the other comes down to a simple question of
faith. If I meet someone and I feel uncomfortable, is it my
belief that the person is unpleasant, or is that merely an
impression?
Do I believe that I'm lacking as a person and somehow unfit for
certain things, or is that a feeling that I've nurtured from
childhood? Is it your belief that things will always go
wrong in your life, or is that your fear that you're legitimizing
by calling it a belief?
Be sure to choose what you believe and why you
believe it, because
if you don’t choose your beliefs,
you may be
certain that
some belief, and probably
not a very credible one,
will choose you.
Robertson Davies
Here's my idea
of what a belief truly is: Despite seeing much
evidence to the contrary, I firmly believe that all
people are good at heart and at the core of their
being, they long for love and hope and peace.
You see, the evidence that I see doesn't contradict
that belief--rather, it points to other things that
are going on that tend to make people act in ways
that are different from who they are at heart.
The violent, rage-filled man who has been taught
from an early age that he's worthless and who fears
people because they can make him feel even worse is
violent not at the core of his being, but because he
has rejected that core because of his fear.
The woman who makes rude comments in order to cut
down other people has power issues because of
lessons that she's been taught her whole life long
about the importance of establishing control and
power over others by attempting to diminish
them. But do those lessons change who she is
at the core of her being, or do they provide a
surface identity that hides the vulnerability that
she doesn't want to admit she has?
So then how do we develop our beliefs so that
they're useful and helpful for us? This is an
especially important question to ask ourselves if
our current beliefs are harming us--for example, if
we believe that we're not good enough for certain
things, or if we believe that we'll always have
financial difficulties, guess what? Those
beliefs will do a great deal towards making
themselves true, for we will act in ways that will
perpetuate them.
In my case, the most important thing that I've done
is take to heart the concept that all people are
created equal in the eyes of God. If I didn't
truly believe this, then it would be very difficult
for me to develop other beliefs that are
helpful. What sets us apart from each other
generally isn't intelligence or ability, but
decisions that we've made.
For example, I made the decision long ago to be a
teacher. Because of that decision, I set upon
a course in life that wouldn't bring me lots of
money and that would bring me no fame. I'm
fine with that. But when I look at my bank
account and compare it with someone else's account,
there's always the possibility that this can cause
me to believe that I'm somehow less successful or
less worthy than that other person. I'm
not. I simply have less money. My belief
that all of us are equal in the eyes of God is
probably the most important element of my life in
many, many ways.
The biggest
addiction, and one we least often talk about,
is being addicted to beliefs. We really get hooked into
thinking what we believe is true and right.
Martha Boesing
From that
point, many of my beliefs have come from observing
the world and trying to learn from it. I've
said some things in my life that have hurt other
people, and from those experiences I've developed
the belief that words truly can harm others--and
that it's my responsibility not to harm others with
my words. Therefore, I'm very careful about
what I say around others. I grew up in a
family in which the insult was considered a joke,
and we live in a society in which our television
"comedies" push the same idea--and I
believe that such an approach is very harmful to our
society. These beliefs come directly from my
personal observations of other people getting hurt.
Some people say, though, that people are just too
thin-skinned, and they shouldn't get hurt just
because someone's joking with them. This is a
belief that I choose never to adopt--a belief of how
another person should act in certain
circumstances. I do not share a history with
anyone, so it's impossible for me to know why they
do what they do, or don't do what they don't
do. It's not for me to judge them based on my
view of the world (also a belief, no?).
If we become close observers of the world,
developing realistic beliefs becomes much, much
easier. When we see things more, we see them
more clearly and we understand them more
deeply. Thus, beliefs are much more likely to
be accurate reflections of our world.
But what about belief in God? We can't observe
God, but we can observe other people who believe in
God and those who don't, and see if there are any
differences. One of the reasons that I do
believe in God is the rich history of caring and
compassionate human beings who have allowed their
faith in God to shape their lives and turn them into
kind, caring, compassionate people. On the
other hand, I choose not to believe in God the King,
but in God the father. I don't believe in God
the punisher who kills my enemies for me, but in God
the loving and compassionate presence in our lives
who helps us to make our ways through things--not
who does things for us when we beg him to do so
through prayer.
We
are incredibly heedless in
the formation of our beliefs,
but find ourselves with an illicit
passion for them when
anyone proposes to rob us
of their companionship.
It is obviously not the ideas
themselves that are dear
to us, but our self-esteem
that is threatened.
James
Harvey
Developing
realistic beliefs, then, is a process of
decision-making and awareness. For the
most part, if we want our beliefs to be realistic
and helpful to us in our lives, we really must base
our beliefs on evidence. On the other hand,
there are many beliefs that should be faith-based,
and one of the most important things that we can do
is make sure that we don't allow the beliefs that
should be based on evidence to be based instead on
faith. If I believe that a person is
trustworthy but I have seen significant evidence
that says that he or she actually isn't, then I have
a problem. Likewise, if I refuse to believe
something without evidence and that something
demands faith, then there's a good chance that I'm
not going to believe something that I really should
believe.
If my beliefs are realistic and not cynical, there's
a very good chance that they'll help me to live a
full and happy life, for as my beliefs are, so is my
life. The beliefs that we live by help to
shape the lives that we lead. It's important
that we be able to identify our beliefs and decide
whether they're helping us or hurting us, and then
to make the decisions necessary to change them for
the better.
It
has been well said that no
person
ever sank under the
burden
of the
day. It is when
tomorrow's
burden is added
to the burdens of
today that the weight is
more than
a person can bear.Never
load
yourselves so, my friends. If
you
find
yourself so loaded, at least remember
this:it is
your own doing, not God's. He begs you to leave the
future to Him, and mind the present.
I know not whence I came,
I know not whither I go;
But the fact stands clear that I am here
In this world of pleasure and woe.
And out of the mist and murk
Another truth shines plain--
It is my power each day and hour
To add to its joy or its pain.
I know that the earth exists,
It is none of my business why;
I cannot find out what it’s all about,
I would but waste time to try.
My life is a brief, brief thing,
I am here for a little space,
And while I stay I would like, if I may,
To brighten and better the place.
The trouble, I think, with us
all
Is the lack of a high conceit.
If each man thought he was sent to this spot
To make it a bit more sweet,
How soon we could gladden the world,
How easily right all wrong,
If nobody shirked, and each one worked
To help his fellows along!
Cease
wondering why you came -
Stop looking for faults and flaws;
Rise up to-day in your pride and say,
“I am part of the First Great Cause!
However full the world,
There is room for an earnest man.
It had need of me, or I would not be--
I am here to strengthen the plan.”
Letting
go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean
we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make
people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for
the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling
that which
we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which
usually means
taking care of ourselves. And we do this in
gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much as possible.
The young are looking for
living models whom they
can imitate
and who are
capable of rousing their
enthusiasm and
drawing them
to a deeper kind of life.
More
than anything else, the young
need
sure
guides to go
with them on the paths
of liberation
that God
maps out for them.
Bakole wa Ilunga
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
