Welcome
to the newest issue of our e-zine, and thanks for
your visit! Once more we offer
what we hope will be positive and uplifting material
that can add a spark to your day, in the
hopes that it will be relevant and helpful to you in
your journey through life.
The
life each of us lives is the life within the limits of our own
thinking. To have life more abundant, we must think in
the
limitless terms of abundance. -
Thomas Dreier
We
can know nothing of humankind without knowing
something of ourselves. Self-knowledge is the property
of those people whose passions have their
full play, but
who ponder over their results. -Benjamin Disraeli
Conditions are never
just right. People who delay action
until all factors are favorable
do nothing. -
William Feather
A lot of our 'busyness' is a way for us to avoid
thinking about what is
most important. There's a difference
between being busy and being productive. -
Kristen Lippincott
Our hotel room was robbed one evening while we were
at dinner. I think I know who did it because
on our way down to the restaurant we saw a
suspicious-looking man loitering in the hallway near
our room. I had a good look at him while we
waited for the elevator, and when we returned to our
room and found our belongings had been removed, I
could picture his face perfectly.
The man took my clothes and a fur coat I bought
Bobbie when we were in the Netherlands. He
also took jewelry that had been in Bobbie's family
for years and was precious to us--because of its
family history. We reported the theft and gave
the police a detailed description of the
burglar. Bobbie and I talked about the loss
for a while and then went to bed. The next
morning, when I tried to do my meditation, I was
disturbed by the picture of the man in the hallway
and by thoughts of what I would like to do to
him. The same thing happened the next morning,
and every morning thereafter. Even after we'd
checked out of the hotel and returned home, the
man's face followed me, and angry thoughts disturbed
my morning meditations.
When several weeks had passed and I was still angry
over our loss and violation, I realized the burglar
was in charge of my thoughts and my life. That
morning I decided to reclaim my life and
thoughts. I spontaneously visualized the man
bringing his children Christmas presents that he
purchased with the money he obtained when he sold
our possessions.
As I pictured the
scene, I thought to myself, "If I had known what he was
going to do, I would have left a few dollars on the bedside
table for him so he could bring his children some really lovely
gifts." I finished the visualization smiling, and
never again did the man in the hallway trouble my
thoughts. Now and then I smile thinking of him and his
children.
You can point out that the burglar probably spent the money on
drugs rather than his children. Maybe he did. It
makes no difference to me what he did with our belongings.
I am free because of the change in me. I helped our son
Jeff do the same thing when his home was robbed, only this time
the robber bought his mother a birthday present. Now Jeff
laughs about the incident and my irrational thinking. But
it works.
I was listening on the car radio to Carly Simon singing, "I
Haven't Got Time for the Pain." There is wisdom in
that song. Our time here is limited. We don't have
the luxury of extra time to spend in pain. Some pain may
be necessary--for instance, the pain that protects you from an
injury or leads you to respond to the needs of others. But
the pain you feel when something or someone is disturbing your
life and thoughts is not useful, and you will be happier when
you resolve the problem and reclaim your life.
The burglar taught me that events are not my problem. My
thoughts about the events are the problem. This is
fortunate, because I can't change the things that have happened
but I can change my thoughts about them.
What thoughts are so important that it is worth holding on to
them even when they make you miserable? Why are you
holding on? You are in charge of your thoughts and
feelings. If you are willing to search for the reason that
you can't let go of disturbing thoughts, you can learn about
yourself and restore your own peace of mind.
If something controls you in a way that puzzles you, think of it
as a mystery. Mysteries are best approached by closing
your eyes and mouth to experience darkness and silence. I
find new and healing images in that dark, silent place away from
emotions that control me. Do not be afraid to close your
eyes and be silent in prayer, meditation, rest or sleep.
In those states you may rediscover a new self. Then your
life, time and thoughts will become yours again and you can live
your unique myth.
You are in charge of your visions, images and feelings, and
you can transform the ones that disturb you. What haunts
you like the man in the hallway haunted me? What thoughts
control you and cause you to suffer? It could be thoughts
about something someone did to you, or you may be distress about
something someone did to someone else. You could be
feeling guilt over something you did. Think about the
event and your reaction to it. See if you can find a
solution and let go of the painful thoughts, resolve the problem
and regain peace of mind. If you are puzzled, close your
eyes. Go to a dark and silent place, away from the
emotions, light a candle and see what healing images you find or
what words you hear to solve your puzzle.
A
nice song for this week (I think I included this one
recently, but it's on my mind right now, and it's
definitely worth listening to more than once!):
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The select few who've mastered the art of meditation
can empty their minds, but the rest of us can't stop
thinking. Unfortunately, much of what we think
isn't conducive to strength, happiness, and
self-esteem. Therefore, when we catch ourselves
thinking negatively, we need to plan a script of
thoughts to replace our unhealthy self-talk.
Admittedly, I balked when first hearing the idea of
creating a script for myself. Doing so seemed
contrived and unnatural. Plus, I was convinced
the whole idea was too simplistic to be
effective. It wasn't until life pushed me over
the edge and the slender thread by which I was hanging
was being unraveled by my negative thoughts that I
gave in and tried scripting. Because it
worked--and still works--for me, I'm sharing it with
you.
Avoid the common error of chastising yourself for
negative thinking. If you catch yourself in the
middle of some particularly negative self-talk and
berate yourself, "There I go again! How
terrible! No wonder I feel as I do! Why
can't I stop this?", you'll only start a new line
of negative, self-critical thoughts. Instead,
give yourself a gold star for a good job of vigilant
thought monitoring.
I watch my self-talk carefully. I was once
working with a client who was suicidal. After
the session I noticed I was feeling depressed and on
the verge of tears. I tuned in to my
self-talk. I'd been saying, "I should be
able to save her. If she dies, I'll be
responsible. I'm not up to the task of making
her well." Ah, the Responsibility Sponge
hard at work. No wonder I felt lousy.
I checked the reality of those debilitating thoughts
and began to replace them with these: "She
is a child of God, safe in the universe; I am a good
therapist; I love myself and her." I
pictured her well and happy and, as a result, began to
feel better. Sad, still, but then it was a sad
situation. But I changed the statements that
were draining my self-esteem reserves and causing me
pain and began to release my feelings of failure and
fear, which, if continued, would have become obstacles
to my helping her.
Affirmations are flower seeds that we plant in our
subconscious. They have a powerful effect in
helping us build a life that is happy, authentic, and
free from fear. Conscious affirmations are an
effective means of reprogramming negative self-talk,
underlying assumptions, and hidden attitudes.
Probably the most important affirmation you can have
is "I love myself." If you simply
can't say that, as I couldn't when I started
affirming, try "I am willing to love myself"
or "I am willing to be willing to love
myself. Whenever you become aware of unhealthy
self-talk, replace it with one of the following
affirmations or create your own affirmations to meet
your particular needs.
Positive Self-Talk Affirmations
1. I love myself.
2. I am a good friend to myself and others.
3. I am a worthwhile human being even though I
make mistakes.
4. I know my limits and boundaries and stand up
for them in a firm and loving manner.
5. I now have the time, energy, wisdom, and
money to accomplish all that I desire.
6. I trust myself. I know what is good for
me.
7. I am willing to be my ideal weight.
8. I am a valuable person worthy of the love and
respect of others.
9. I deserve satisfying and supportive
relationships.
10. I am an excellent and creative worker.
11. I am wise, loving, light-hearted, and kind,
a clear reflection of God.
12. I am God's (use any term that resonates with
your heart) cherished child.
Don't expect quick results. You are
reprogramming your subconscious mind, the most complex
computer on earth. It will take time for your
feelings to catch up with your new thoughts. But
even if you don't feel the truth of the affirmation
now, know that valuable work is being done on the
subconscious level. The eventual benefits of
changing thought patterns has been proven over and
over again by people who faithfully, persistently
practice affirmations. These include world-class
athletes and successful business people.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
There
cannot be a sense of abundance or the experience of
prosperity
without
appreciation. You cannot find beauty unless
you appreciate beauty. You cannot
find friendship unless you appreciate
others. You cannot find
love unless you
appreciate loving and being loved. If you wish abundance, appreciate life.
William
R. Miller
Life
One of the most important lessons that I've learned over the many
years that I've spent studying life and living has been a very
simple one: Our lives are what we make them. Yes,
there are outside factors to everything in life, and there are
other people who do things that mess up our efforts, and there are
earthquakes and fires and storms that can seem to destroy our
efforts, but the fact remains the same: Our lives are what
we make them. Within the limits that we currently face, we
always have the choice to improve our lives, keep them the same,
or make them worse. And we do these things with the choices
that we make, the people with whom we choose to associate, the
risks that we take or avoid, and the attitudes that we bring to
the situations that we face.
Life is what it is, and we spend much of our time trying to mold
it into what we think it should be. This is a strategy
that's doomed to failure, and that failure causes huge amounts of
frustration in all of us--we think things should be a certain way,
so we put forth effort to make life conform to our beliefs.
But it just doesn't work. Yes, there are certain things we
can accomplish, such as getting better jobs or changing laws to
protect certain things or starting organizations that work for
social justice, but when we recognize that the world is full of
billions of other people also trying to mold life to their
beliefs, we start to see that our frustration isn't helping us a
bit, and that life will be life and it will go on on its own
terms, with or without us. And that's perfectly okay.
Life
is brimming with things to be discovered and known,
skills to be mastered, challenges to be overcome.And when
you are discouraged, dig a hole in the earth and think of
the
possibilities.So many things can be planted in your lifetime,
skills that once mastered will bear fruit forever. . . . Pluck
up some enthusiasm for the business of life, for the loamy
matter that supports us all.Become a handyman and spread
your skills wide, digging deeper into the earth’s crust
to uncover its secrets.
Christopher Kimball
When we get it
through our heads that life is a process of
discovery and creation, then we can start to act in
ways that bring us to higher levels of knowledge,
empathy, compassion, and wisdom. And then we
can start being much more content with life and what
it throws our way--we can start living our lives
fully instead of thinking that there must be
something more that we're somehow missing. The
lives that we lead are gifts that are beyond our
comprehension, really, and it's important that we do
our best to make the most of those gifts.
But would you tell a gift-giver, "Thanks for
the gift, but it should have been something
else?" We all know that saying such a
thing would be a sign of ingratitude, a sign that we
don't appreciate the gift at all. And without
gratitude and appreciation, the gift will simply be
a waste of everyone's time. If we accept it
for what it is, though, and try to make the best of
all of its qualities, we can make the most of the
gift of life by turning the lives into works of art,
creative wonders that honor the gift-giver and the
gift itself.
Being able to do this, though, requires that we
recognize that if we're to live our lives, we cannot
be passive observers of life--we must be active
participants. As Shakti Gawain says below,
life doesn't just happen to us; rather we create the
conditions that cause life to respond in the ways it
does. True, that person did something very
awful to you, but how did that person get into a
position of influence over you in the first
place? We allow people into our lives, and we
have the power to put them out of our lives,
too. Perhaps you don't have enough money at
the moment to do what you dream of doing, but you do
have enough money to do something. When
we lose something dear to us, it often turns out to
be very positive for us as we let go and move on--if
we allow ourselves to let go in the first place.
Many of us have had
the attitude that life is something that happens
to us and that all we can do is make the best of it.
It is basically a
victim's position, giving power to people and things outside
of
ourselves. We are beginning to realize that the power
rests in us,
that we can choose to create our life the way we want it to
be.
There are so
many amazing things that we can do with life, but
most of us simply put ourselves into a little box
that we think defines us and we allow ourselves to
stay with the same patterns and actions for years
and years. It isn't life that limits our
possibilities--it's something that we do ourselves
as we consider our choices. Life gives me the
chance to explore new surroundings and new thoughts
and ideas each day, but I generally choose to stick
with what I know. That way, I don't allow my
fear to grow too strong. But that way, I also
don't allow my heart or my mind to grow too much,
either.
Look at all that life offers. Some of it is
out of reach at the moment, but if we really, truly
want something, we can make it happen in our
lives. It takes effort and perseverance and a
bit of faith, but anything can be done that doesn't
violate the known laws of physics, right? When
we approach life with a positive attitude and an
indomitable faith, there really are no limits as to
what we can accomplish. Yet most of us
approach life with hesitation and fear, and we come
to see our lack of accomplishment as life's fault,
not our own.
Life is about love, and about becoming the people we
were meant to be. And there's a good chance
that that person isn't rich or famous or even
well-known; some of the most important contributions
in life have come from people of humble means who
have taught very valuable lessons to others who have
gone on to spread those lessons throughout the
world.
I love life. Life allows me to walk in the
snow, to hear children's laughter, to run marathons,
to taste chocolate and wine (not together, though),
to read good books, to enjoy good movies, to
experience other people's smiles, to help people who
are in need, to be helped by others when I'm in
need, to see the stars and hear the wind and stand
in awe at the sunset. Life allows me to learn,
to know more today than I knew yesterday, or to be
better at something today than I was
yesterday. Life is the tenderness of a loving
touch, the beauty of a bird's song, the fantastic
feel of rain on my skin and in my hair, the joy of
waking up after a good sleep.
Yes, life does offer me challenges and obstacles,
but these are the things that teach me, that help me
grow, and that make me appreciate the times when I'm
not facing any particular challenges.
The
great affair, the love affair with life, is to live as
variously as
possible, to groom one's curiosity like a high-spirited
thoroughbred,
climb aboard, and gallop over the thick, sun-struck hills
every day.
Where there is no risk, the emotional terrain is flat and
unyielding,
and, despite all its dimensions, valleys, pinnacles, and
detours, life
will seem to have none of its magnificent geography, only a
length.
It began in mystery, and it will end in mystery, but what a
savage
and beautiful country lies in between.
Diane Ackerman
How is your
relationship with life? Is it a love affair,
or is it antagonistic? Is it full of
appreciation and wonder, or full of blame and
accusations? It may be confusing and even
frightening at times, but life definitely gives us
gift after gift, and it's completely up to us what
we do with those amazing blessings--we can accept
them and put them in their best light, or we can let
our fears control us and see those gifts as nothing
at all special. No matter what we choose to
do, though, life will keep giving us gifts.
Eventually we're going to have to make those gifts
important parts of our lives and make our lives the
special, marvelous experiences that they always were
meant to be.
To act with common sense,
according to the moment,
is
the best wisdom I
know; and
the best philosophy, to do
one's
duties,
take the world
as it comes,
submit respectfully
to one's
lot,
bless the goodness
that has given us so much
happiness
with
it, whatever
it is, and despise affectation.
Horatio Walpole
You
Are You
unattributed
You
are strong. . . when you take your
grief and teach it to smile.
You
are brave. . . when you overcome your
fear and help others to do the same.
You
are happy. . . when you see a flower
and are thankful for the blessing.
You
are loving. . . when your own pain
does not blind you to the pain of others.
You
are wise. . . when you
know the limits of your wisdom.
You
are true. . . when you admit
there are times you fool yourself.
You
are alive. . . when tomorrow's hope means
more to you than yesterday's mistake.
You
are growing. . . when you know what
you are but not what you will become.
You
are free. . . when you are in control of
yourself and do not wish to control others.
You
are honorable. . . when you find
your honor is to honor others.
You
are generous. . . when you
can take as sweetly as you can give.
You
are humble. . . when you
do not know how humble you are.
You
are thoughtful. . . when you see me
just as I am and treat me just as you are.
You
are merciful. . . when you forgive in
others the faults you condemn in yourself.
You
are beautiful. . . when you
don't need a mirror to tell you.
You
are rich. . . when you never
need more than what you have.
You
are you. . . when you are
at peace with who you are not.
The race of
humankind would perish did
they cease to aid each other.
We cannot exist without
mutual help.
All therefore that need aid have a right to
ask it from their fellow human;
and no one who has the
power of granting can refuse it without guilt.
Walter Scott
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).