I have to say that I sympathize with those people more than most because I've been there.  Much of what's going on in those people's minds is a result of treatment they've received at the hands of others.  I've found out in recent years that much of my own lack of optimism has to do with my father's alcoholism--it's extremely common for adult children of alcoholics to feel a lack of hope, to wonder when everything's going to go wrong again, and to try to prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally for any let-downs.  And while I will never use my father's alcoholism as an excuse for any of my own behaviors, it's good to know that there's an explanation for the origin of the feelings.  In fact, I try very hard not to express negative thoughts when they cross my mind, but they do come out.  Dyslexics and people with ADD, as two examples, tend to have been criticized their entire lives for not performing up to their potential--they've been called lazy and have failed classes they should have passed because of a physiological problem, and they have a hard time thinking that things can turn out well in any situation.

But the times when my negative attitude have been the strongest have been my darkest days.  Those have been the days when I've seen no hope for the future, when I've felt no possibility of change for the better.  I've seen everything darkly, but I've rarely shared that attitude with others.  Those have been the days of depression and fear, and I've never lived my life fully on those days.  As Longfellow points out, though, "Some days must be dreary."  I've had my share of dreary days, and I try to respect other people's dreary days.

On the other hand, I've also had days when I've complained a lot.  Sometimes I've had good reasons to complain, other times I've complained about trivialities that really didn't matter in my life or in the lives of those around me.  Sometimes people have been unfair to me, but my reactions to that unfairness have caused me to have some pretty miserable days.  Those have been the days when I've dwelled on the unfairness, when I've focused so much of my energy on being angry or resentful that I've gotten little to nothing out of those particular days.  It's been pretty horrible to me, but I can imagine that it wasn't all that pleasant for those people around me, either.

So where am I going with this?  Hang in there--the point is here.  I've found that I'm the only person in charge of my attitude.  I'm the only person who can control it, but even more important to me was learning that I can control it.  I've always felt that my attitude was a result of circumstances, but it's not.  In fact, very often circumstances are the result of attitude.  When I found out that my attitude was a result of my own thoughts, I finally felt that I had a grasp on making my own world a pleasant place to live in--nothing was out of my control if I just kept my attitude healthy.  And the result was beautiful--it's like a never-ending circle, for the positive attitude caused more positive things to happen, and with more positive things happening, I had more reason to feel positive, and it all felt quite good.  I also found that when I brought a bright and positive attitude to others, I was able to affect them positively, too, and put a bright moment or three in their lives, which made me feel wonderful.

A negative attitude is the result of many factors, but it's not an uncontrollable result.  You do have a say in how your attitude is.  Carry around a negative attitude and people will not want to be around you and may avoid you, thus adding to that never-ending circle.  But show the world a positive attitude--even if that's not how you're feeling inside--and you'll start to see more positive things happening in your life, and soon that will be how you feel inside.  Life's too short and beautiful to look at darkly and hopelessly, so do your best to see it brightly, and share that brightness with others, and you'll see how much of a change you'll go through.  Nobody wants to see you be negative, but they also don't want to be dragged down, so they'll avoid you rather than help you.  Please, be someone who lifts others up, not someone who drags others down.

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