quotes and sayings on depression, an obstacle to living life fully

home - contents - obstacles contents

I passed through years of depression. Full-scale, terrible, debilitating depression that would come every so often not just to haunt me, but to beat me to the floor, to take away every positive thought that I had, to prevent me not just from living my life to the fullest, but from living life at all. When I was depressed, I felt completely helpless to change anything in my life--I felt like I was completely under the control of the monster that ruled my mind somehow.

And the most terrifying thing of all was that I knew that the depression was a product of my own mind, that I was keeping myself down and making myself feel horrible because of the ways in which I was thinking. When I was depressed, I actually somehow liked feeling terrible, as sick as that may sound. I actually reveled in the horrible feelings because they allowed me to feel sorry for myself, to add self-pity to the terrible feelings I was going through.

Winston Churchill saw depression as a big black dog just sitting there, watching him, waiting for him. I see it as a fog, waiting there just off the coastline for the time to be right to come into shore and roll over its victim, obstructing my vision so that I don't see the world right, so that I can't see the beauty and wonder of the colors of the world, for in a fog, all colors are muted and nothing is bright. When I was depressed, I saw the world in shades of grey, and I was able to convince myself during these episodes that there was no brightness in my life, no hope, no possibility for good things for me.

All of that, unfortunately, was illusion. Or is it fortunate that it was an illusion? I say unfortunate because I spent many days and hours in misery, unable to function properly because of what my mind was doing to me. I say fortunate because it wasn't true--my life really wasn't as bad as my mind painted it to be, and I'm very grateful that that was true.

A few things about my depression made it more difficult to deal with. Mostly, I went through it without support from family or friends. I always had to deal with it alone, even when I was out among other people. That's mostly because of the dysfunctions that defined my family, which led me to be pretty much incompetent as far as making and keeping friends was concerned, but I don't need to go into detail about that. Because I had to deal with it alone, though, I had to find my own strategies for simply surviving, because the depths through which depression dragged me often made me wonder why I was even alive.

It was incredibly ironic, too, how I could pull myself out of the depths for short periods of time when I needed to. If I was depressed and I had a seven o'clock class to teach, somehow I was always able to go to that class and give it, putting on a mask that didn't allow others to see how bad I was feeling, only to have the depression return full force as soon as I was walking out to my car to go home. Somehow, the responsibility that I had to the students who were taking my classes overrode the depression for a while, and I was able to act "normal," even if I didn't feel so.

One of the most important strategies that I developed as a loner going through depression was that of reading positive material. I didn't discover it until rather late in life, but I was amazed at how simple words from other people who had also gone through terrible things could make me feel better, could give me a bit of hope. After all, if this person who suffered so much could find hope and even happiness in the world, couldn't I do the same thing? If this person who has worked with depressed and sad people for many years has some advice to offer about how to deal with depression, shouldn't I listen to that advice and take it to heart, trying to implement it in my life?

Those readings and their effects on me were what eventually led me to start this website, in the hope that making such words available to everyone with a computer, all the time, could perhaps help someone else who may be going through similar agony.

The most important strategy that I've developed, though, is that of keeping things in perspective. I make a great effort to constantly remind myself of the blessings that are in my life, and to recognize setbacks for what they are: they're temporary, and they don't define me as a person or my life as a whole. I don't allow my imagination to dwell any longer on how and what other people think of me, because I know that my imagination will do its best to paint the most negative picture possible of that. And I do my best to recognize the early stages of what used to become depression--thoughts of inadequacy, thoughts of being unloved and unlovable, thoughts of being a failure who's never going to succeed in anything.

I think it's kind of like being a recovering alcoholic--I don't know that I've "cured" myself of the depression, but I do know that it doesn't harm me as it used to. I've developed strategies to help me see the world in bright, positive ways. I keep busy doing things that I really enjoy doing. I choose to be around people who bring me up, and I choose to avoid people who bring me down. I fill my life and my home and my workspace with bright colors and beautiful pictures. I still read lots of words from people who also have struggled, but who have come through their struggles. Starting this website was a great way to make sure that I'm constantly exposed to positive words, as I'm constantly reading new books, looking for new material to share on these pages.

And even though my struggles with depression were absolutely awful, I know that I learned a lot from them. If nothing else, now I can help others to work their ways through their own bad times, having gone through many of my own.

To those who feel depressed, I would say: Try keeping your surroundings
full of beautiful music and lovely flowers. Try reading and memorizing
thoughts that inspire. Try making a list of all the things you have to be
thankful for. If there is some good thing that you have always wanted
to do, start doing it. Make a meaningful schedule for yourself
and keep to that schedule.

Peace Pilgrim

Depression can mean thoughts of suicide or it can mean just feeling down.
All of us experience depression. How well you handle it determines your
personal ratio of good and bad times. There will always be some bad days,
there will always be losses, but you can reduce the number.
   Depression is a signal that your life is out of balance. You have decided
that you are not valuable enough to enjoy life. Find out how you are out of
balance, and why.
   Depression may immobilize you so that you feel like giving up. You can
overcome this feeling by understanding that depression is a message to
take time and grow and heal. Your pain is a demand that you take time
for change.
   There are many ways to say that out of pain comes growth and joy, but
none of them bring real comfort when you are depressed. Accept the down
time, learn from it, and it will pass and return less often. When depression
lingers, or the pain becomes overwhelming, take action. Find a counselor to
help you reassess your balance and rebuild your worth.
   The pain you feel at one moment in time will not be there forever.

Jennifer Jones
Success Is the Quality of Your Journey

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them
why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation;
depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness,
lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there
for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a
friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest,
noblest, and best things you will ever do.

Stephen Fry

We have some inspiring and motivational books that may interest you. Our main way of supporting this site is through the sale of books, either physical copies or digital copies for your Amazon Kindle (including the online reader). All of the money that we earn through them comes back to the site in one way or another. Just click on the picture to the left to visit our page of books, both fiction and non-fiction!

Every person has their secret sorrows which the world knows not;
and often times we call a person cold when they are only sad.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It is important not to suppress your feelings altogether when you
are depressed. It is equally important to avoid terrible arguments
or expressions of outrage. You should steer clear of emotionally
damaging behavior. People forgive, but it is best not to stir things
up to the point at which forgiveness is required. When you are
depressed, you need the love of other people, and yet
depression fosters actions that destroy that love. Depressed
people often stick pins into their own life rafts. The conscious
mind can intervene. One is not helpless.

Andrew Solomon
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

Depression is the most unpleasant thing I have ever experienced. . . .
It is that absence of being able to envisage that you will ever be
cheerful again. The absence of hope. That very deadened feeling,
which is so very different from feeling sad. Sad hurts but it's a healthy
feeling. It is a necessary thing to feel. Depression is very different.

J.K. Rowling

People with depression suffer hopelessness—trapped in a life that does
not nurture who they are. They can hate themselves for living in a state
of sadness and emptiness, and they cannot see how or when the conditions
that led to their depression will ever change. If you recognize yourself
in this situation, don’t waste time blaming yourself for having bad feelings.
Use them as red flags to guide you away from danger. Thank the feelings
for being a part of you. Depression can be a motivator to change your job,
walk away from a relationship, or remove yourself from any circumstance
that makes you feel trapped or that drains the life from you. Loving yourself
means taking those dark moments and turning them into fuel for creativity.
Don’t try to deny or ignore your depression. Instead say, “Yes, I am feeling
this way. How can it redirect me? What is the gift, the wake-up call in it,
so I do not have to experience this again?”

Bernie Siegel
No Endings, Only Beginnings

That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive
almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But
depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily,
that it's impossible to ever see the end.

Elizabeth Wurtzel
Prozac Nation

Embracing the mystery of depression does not mean passivity or resignation.
It means moving into a field of forces that seems alien but is in fact one's
deepest self. It means waiting, watching, listening, suffering, and gathering
whatever self-knowledge one can--and then making choices based on that
knowledge, no matter how difficult. One begins the slow walk back to health
by choosing each day things that enliven one's selfhood and resisting things
that do not.

Parker J. Palmer
Let Your Life Speak

What people don't understand about depression is how much it hurts. It's
like your brain is convinced that it's dying and produces an acid that eats
away at you from the inside, until all that's less is a scary hollowness.
Your mind fills with dark thoughts; you become convinced that your friends
secretly hate you, you're worthless, and then there's no hope. I never got
so low as to consider ending it all, but I understand how that can happen
to some people. Depression simply hurts too much.

Tyler Hamilton

I never felt like that before. Maybe it could be depression, like
you get. I can understand how you suffer now when you're
depressed; I always thought you liked it and I thought you
could have snapped yourself out any time, if not alone then
by means of the mood organ. But when you get that depressed
you don't care. Apathy, because you've lost a sense of worth. It
doesn't matter whether you feel better because you have no worth.

Philip K. Dick
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?

quotations - contents - welcome page - obstacles
the people behind the words - our current e-zine - articles and excerpts
Daily Meditations, Year One - Year Two - Year Three - Year Four

Sign up for your free daily spiritual or general quotation ~ ~ Sign up for your free daily meditation

There is no point treating a depressed person as though she
were just feeling sad, saying, "There now, hang on, you'll get
over it." Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience--
it passes. Depression is like cancer.

Barbara Kingsolver
The Bean Trees

Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living
for even when you don't believe it. Seek out the memories depression
takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take
your pills. Exercise because it's good for you even if every step weighs
a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with
yourself when you have lost your reason.

Andrew Solomon
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression

When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that
you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just
wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any
moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where
you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off
the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.

Elizabeth Gilbert

Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery,
any depression, since after all you don't know what work these
conditions are doing inside you? Why do you want to persecute
yourself with the question of where all this is coming from and
where it is going? Since you know, after all, that you are in the midst
of transitions and you wished for nothing so much as to change. If
there is anything unhealthy in your reactions, just bear in mind that
sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is
alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness
and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better.

Rainer Maria Rilke
Letters to a Young Poet

Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they
have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But
these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat,
hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being
around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to,
and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious
beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless
and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You're
frightened, and you're frightening, and you're "not at all like yourself
but will be soon," but you know you won't.

Kay Redfield Jamison
An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness