|
What a harsh
word, stupidity. Yet it's a word that almost all of us use on a
regular basis, in one form or another. Unfortunately, we tend to use
the word "stupid" to apply to people, rather than the actions
that truly deserve the label. But that's another story.
We all do stupid
things. And while there are many people out there who would prefer
words such as "misguided" or "ill-advised" or
"inappropriate," I prefer to call a spade a spade (sorry for the
cliche!) and call my stupid actions just what they are:
stupid. Usually, when I find myself in a situation in which I've
just done something stupid, I knew before I ever did that something that
it was stupid. It was stupid to think of it, it was stupid to do
it--it was just plain stupid.
To give you
examples would be embarrassing to me and would bring up a lot of painful
memories, so I'll try to think of a rather innocuous example of what I'm
talking about. I do remember one time when I got a phone call
offering to sell me a water filter for a few hundred dollars. The
great thing about it, though, was that they were also going to send me
plane tickets to Hawaii for a vacation, and something else that I can't
remember. The voice inside of me that we all know so well was saying
"No--don't do it, it's a scam," but my logical voice was saying
"Compare the prices of the tickets to the price of the filter, and
you end up with a filter and a trip to Hawaii." In the end, I
gave them my credit card number and ordered the filter. (This was in
the days before the Internet, so I couldn't look them up.)
|
|
|
Here's where
stupidity as an obstacle comes in. For the rest of that day, I was
miserable. All I could think about was how stupid I had been, how
ridiculous it had been for me to bite on such a scam when I KNEW it was
the wrong thing to do. I lost focus on everything else that
afternoon, and I wasn't able to be present in any of the moments I passed
through that day. I was mentally beating myself up, regretting my
stupid action of giving my credit card number over the phone to
telemarketers. And that afternoon I called them back and cancelled
the order.
The miserable
day was my penalty for a stupid act. But if I hadn't called them, I
would have ended up suffering a great deal when the tickets came and I
found out I would have had to fork out a great deal more money probably
for the flights and for hotels and food in Hawaii. I've read enough
about such scams since to realize that most of the people who fall for
them end up feeling bitter, angry, resentful, abused--you name it--because
they had stupidly trusted someone on the phone who just wanted their
money.
Another way that
stupidity has affected me has been when I've said rude or ignorant or
obnoxious things about other human beings who haven't deserved my rudeness
or ignorance or obnoxiousness. When I've been stupid enough to say
such things, I've paid for it with the shame I've felt when I've been
called on it, when I've been around that person later. I do try to
forgive myself and move on with my life, and I always apologize when i
should, but that doesn't change my stupid act. This is something I
almost never do any more, for I've learned a few very valuable, very
painful lessons.
Stupidity as an
obstacle pertains to our acts, those acts which we know we shouldn't do
before we do them. We ignore that beautiful gift that God has given
us--our conscience--and we do something that goes against all we stand
for, all we feel. Stupidity does not refer to limited mental
capacity or ability. Being bad at math or science isn't
stupidity--it's being bad at math or science. We all have our gifts,
and we all have our weak areas. Stupidity is doing something that we
know is wrong and that we know can harm another person. Stupidity is
an obstacle to living life fully because we pay for our actions in regret
or anger at ourselves. Some people live their lives committing
stupid acts without feeling the least bit of regret (those Russell
mentions below), but those people pay in other ways.
But wait, you're
saying--what about those things that people who act stupidly do to
us? Aren't those obstacles, too? And the answer is,
absolutely. The person who makes a stupid comment about you has hurt
you, just as the person who has stupidly cut you off in traffic has put
your life in danger. The clerk at the store who insulted you has
done something stupid, and the person in the cash only express lane with
twenty items and who's writing a check is doing something stupid.
But other
people's actions affect us only to the degree that we allow them to affect
us. It sounds so simple, but it's not easy to let things go by that
are very stupid. But we have to, if we're going to get on with the
business of living a full life. Our own actions are more important,
for we'll never advance as human beings, never become more loving
creatures who are helping the world to be a kinder place, if we don't
examine our selves and our actions. Let people do what they will,
and move on. Complain about what they did, take legal action against
them, whatever it takes, but don't let that action bother you so
much. Live your life, or that person has gotten the better of you,
and you'll be acting stupid by letting someone else's stupid action take
away your peace of mind and peace of heart.
Don't be
stupid. Be loving and caring and kind. Let these
characteristics rule your thoughts and actions, and you'll avoid the
aftermath of stupid actions. Believe me, doing the right thing is
worth it, even if it's just to spare yourself the feelings that follow
doing something stupid.
|
