I don't know the source of all my doubts, but I don't think that knowing the source is as important any more as it used to be.  What's important right now is what I do with them, how I act when they surface, the extent of the effect that I allow them to have on me.

When I doubt my own ability to get something done or my own potential, then I'm setting limits on myself, often subconsciously.  My doubts then can keep me from reaching my potential, from accomplishing things that are well within my abilities.  More negatively, though, the doubts can keep me from even trying something, so I'll never know whether I can do them or not.  A great example of this for me is in relationships--I can't tell you how many times I haven't called someone up to ask them to do something because I doubted they had any interest in doing something with me, only to find out later that they had plenty of interest.  I doubted my own value, and I doubted other people's perceptions of me, and I paid a price--and this is a price that I'll never know the true level of, because I'll never be able to talk to all of the people that I didn't try to make friends with.

When we doubt other people, we're sending them a clear signal, even if it's not a completely visible symbol.  If I doubt that one of my students can pass a class this semester, then the way I treat that student will change subtly, and study after study has proved that our doubt of someone else's ability often proves to be a predictor of that person's performance.

Sometimes we even doubt that life is fair, and we put ourselves in a position in which we see ourselves being treated unfairly.  If I don't think I'm going to be treated fairly, though, I start to act like a victim.  Once I act like a victim, then things start happening to me that make me more of a victim.  It's not life being unfair that causes those things to happen, though--it's my doubts in life's fairness that's keeping me from feeling the objectivity of life.

Most doubts serve little purpose, especially when they're doubts of our selves or of other people.  These doubts limit us, as they define us in tight little spaces that we may never be able to get out of as long as we doubt ourselves.  Watch an athlete sometime after he or she had suffered a serious setback--a serious loss or an injury--that causes him or her to have doubt in his or her own ability.  Usually, you'll see one of two things:  either a great ability to push doubt out of one's mind, or a sub-par performance caused by the person's own doubts.  Doubts nag at us, and they keep us from exploring new possibilities and new ideas and new ways of doing things.

On the other hand, there is a positive side to doubt.  Doubt can lead us to new heights when we're able to doubt the truth of other people's claims, especially when those claims seem to be based on out-dated, outworn information or views.  Columbus doubted the conventional wisdom that told him the world was flat, and he set out to find out whether the claim was true or not.  Einstein doubted that the explanations of physics offered by his contemporaries adequately explained the nature of physics and the world, and he was able to visualize things on a much deeper level once he moved past their limitations.

This type of doubt can lead at least two ways, though.  If I doubt my faith in God, that doubt can lead me to explore the concept of God and come up with my own answers by looking at works from sources I might otherwise never have read, or it can lead me to reject the concept of God completely, never exploring it fully in ways that could be beneficial to me and to others.

Where will your doubt lead you?  What will you do with it?  How will you allow it to affect you?  The most important things we can do with doubt are to acknowledge it, and then to put it in its place, somewhere over there with our fears and our old nightmares.  Doubts can provide us with a valuable service for ourselves, or doubts can keep us from reaching our own, almost unlimited potential.  What are you going to do with your doubts?

Conquer Doubt      Vic Johnson

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