A
time comes in your life when you finally get it. . . When in the
midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out--ENOUGH! Enough fighting and
crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a
blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink
back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the
world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize that it's
time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness,
safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to
terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and
that in the real world there aren't always fairytale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after"
must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not
everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are. . . and
that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn
the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a
sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did
to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can
really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what
they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there
for you and that it's not always about you.
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So, you learn to stand on your own
and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety &
security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept
people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in
the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
You
realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a
result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your
psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh what you
should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive how and
where you should live and what you should do for a living who you should
sleep with who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the
importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand
for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought
into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is
power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that
principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must
build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to
save the world, and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish
between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the
one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you
learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much
to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to
project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that
you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important
because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn
to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them
be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that
just as people grow and change so it is with love. . . . and you learn that
you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. . . just to make you
happy
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely... And you look in
the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a perfect
10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head
and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of
entitlement are perfectly OK. . . .and that it is your right to want things and
to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to
make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with
love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.
And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you
with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of
self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin
to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced
diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that
fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take
more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.
So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you
believe you deserve . . . and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that
wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it
happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it
all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great
robber baron of all time--FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through
your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to
give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you
learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of
impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, that you don't always get
what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to
unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.
It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the
ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment
must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of
you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when
you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple
things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth
can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm
bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself
and you to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever
to settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to
keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you
take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you
want to live as best as you can.
Copyright © 1999 Sonny Carroll. All
Rights Reserved.
Used with permission from author - sonny@waketolife.com
Unfortunately, this piece has been copied, plagiarized
and posted on countless websites falsely crediting another writer who promoted herself as
the author. Ms Carroll asks that if you see "The
Awakening" on any sites, crediting anyone other than Sonny Carroll,
please contact alert@awaketolife.com with the
website address.
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