Hello,
and welcome! We're all still passengers on
this amazing planet of ours,
shooting through space at the rate of 1.6 million
miles a day, and we
sincerely hope that you're enjoying the ride for all
that it's worth!
When I first heard the term "angel of death," I
was confused. I had always thought of angels as
helpers and guides, and the word "angel" had
entirely pleasant connotations. Death and angels
seemed incongruous. Angels are something I want
around on a daily basis, but death is not something I
wanted to experience any time soon.
It was hard to imagine how an angel of death could be
angelic--until I learned that the word "angel"
means messenger. The idea of a messenger of death
made me stop and think. I would not like that
messenger to show up today and announce it was time for me
to meet my death, but I wouldn't mind if a messenger
appeared daily just to remind me of my mortality.
Maybe if a messenger of death visited every day I would
lighten up a bit and stop being so serious about
everything. Maybe the messenger could follow me
through the day and poke me now and then so I'd be more
careful about what I put into my body and how I used my
time. What an angelic gift it is to remind someone
of his or her mortality.
Awareness of our mortality is a gift that enables us to
live better.
But the
death that awaits us at the end of our lives may not seem
like such a gift. For many people, dying is the
biggest and most frightening problem in life. The
truth is, death is not a problem. Your feelings and
thoughts about death are the problem, and you can prepare
yourself for a good death by the way you live.
As a physician, I've seen how people deal with the
discovery that they are mortal. When they are
diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses, the first thing
some people want is a second chance. Before their
illness they may not have been living with any conscious
regret or actively searching for a better life. As
soon as they are diagnosed, they want to seize missed
opportunities, make better decisions and avoid
disaster. When made aware of their mortality, they
realize they haven't lived their lives authentically and
the one thing they want is to be able to begin
again. But life doesn't work that way. You
can't live in reverse. What is in your rearview
mirror is history.
In the wonderful movie Harold and Maude, Ruth Gordon plays
an aging woman who is well aware of her mortality and has
a zest for life. "Reach out. Take a
chance. Get hurt, even," she tells a young man
who is more attracted to death than to life. Maude
doesn't need a second chance because she has lived her
first chance. You can, too. Or you can put off
living and hope you will discover your mortality through
an illness that gives you the permission you need to
live. You won't get to start over from the
beginning, but you may have enough life left to begin
living for the first time.
Perhaps you believe there is an afterlife and an
opportunity to come back and make up for our mistakes and
learn the lessons we were meant to learn. I won't
argue with you. I may even agree, but that doesn't
change my feeling about what I want to do with this
life. I don't want to rely on an afterlife to make
up for what I missed in this one. I want to live
fully and learn enough in this life so that when they ask
me if I want to come back for another life, I can say,
"No, thanks. I need a rest, not another chance
to learn."
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It's easy to imagine that our emotions--including
misery--are produced by the circumstances in which we
find ourselves. The phone rings, and we feel
anxious. The bills drop through the mail slot,
and we feel discouraged.
If we failed to notice the phone or the mail, however,
we would not have either of these reactions.
Although we cultivate a convincing illusion of the
real world, we really have only a passing familiarity
with it. Our emotions and our behavior depend
not on the events of our lives, but on our perception
and evaluation of those events.
We do not stand on a hilltop with an unobstructed view
of the real world. Instead, we spend our entire
lives within an inner cinema--one with multiple
screens lining the walls. One screen shows a
series of historical dramas reminiscing about our own
past. Another displays speculative fiction about
our imagined future. A third shows a documentary
of the present moment as it passes just beyond the
confines of the theater--a feed of the input of our
senses. A fourth sensationalizes and
fictionalizes that feed, making wild interpretations
of the events it portrays.
The straight documentary is usually the least exciting
film on offer. It shows the contours of the
furniture around us, the pattern of dust motes in a
sunbeam, the sounds of traffic outside, the voices of
others, the slow shift of leaves in a breeze, the
movement of our hands as we complete a simple
task. It is distinguished not by its drama, but
by the fact that it portrays the only moment that
actually exists: the present one. It is
the only non-fiction feature in the cinema.
Because the documentary is less eventful than the
other films, we constantly find ourselves distracted
by the alternatives. We watch the heavily
colorized interpretation screen (That man walking
past right now--he hates you!), or a humiliating
blooper reel from our past (Remember the time you
fell on your face at your sister's wedding?), or a
horror film about the future (I'm sorry, but the
tests reveal that you have only a month to live--and
by the way, you've been fired). Our time
spent in the pure present is measured in snippets and
moments. At times, we find the other screens so
distracting that the pure sensory feed seems not to
exist at all.
Even when we pay attention to the present, we watch
only a tiny portion of the screen. At every
moment we receive a vast amount of sensory
information, but we process only a fraction of
it. For example, notice the sensations of your
right foot. Really. Right now. These
sensations were available to you before you read that
suggestion, but in all probability, you were not
focused on them. We react only to the bits of
perceptible reality to which we pay attention.
Your spouse just thanked you for taking the car in for
an oil change--but you don't experience the
appreciation unless you pay attention and register
that it has been offered.
Further, we slide automatically into
interpretation. Ahead of you in the line at the
bank, a disheveled man is reaching into his coat
pocket. Is he going for his wallet or a
gun? Your boss frowns; is she displeased with
your monthly report, or did she overeat at
lunchtime? The emotions you feel depend on the
interpretations you make.
Misery often develops as a result of the screens we
choose to watch in the cranial multiplex--and the
films we load into the projectors. We are often
such adept projectionists that we do not realize we
have selected one storyline over the others, and we
mistake the stories for objective reality.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
We must
be willing to get rid of
the life we've planned, so as to have
the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed
before the new one can come.
Joseph Campbell
Opportunities Abound
(Thoughts from the early days of COVID)
After
more than seven weeks of being "stuck" at home because
of stay-at-home orders from the state, things are starting to blur
together just a bit. I constantly have to remind myself what
day it is, I have no idea just how many days ago I did something,
and I don't remember sometimes if I went biking yesterday or if it
was the day before. Of course, I can usually come up with
these answers if I think about it, but the truth is that this type
of lockdown is something completely new and different to me, and
it's very strange and very different, calling for new behaviors
and expectations on my part.
The closest I had ever come to something like this before was in
the Army, several times. Basic Training, of course, put us
all in a barracks for eight weeks or so, with no chance of doing
anything that we actually wanted to do--we had to do what we were
told. But at least then, there was no pandemic going on
outside of the building, and we didn't risk illness or death by
being confined in a barracks together for such a long time.
We had another four weeks of lockdown when I got to AIT and when I
arrived at the Defense Language Institute, but those lockdowns
were in conjunction with the classes we were taking--we had full
days of interaction with other human beings in addition to the
time we were locked in at the barracks.
But that's the past, and those were situations in which my actions
were mandated by others because of a choice that I had made to
join the Army. Today, I'm going to spend the vast majority
of my time indoors for another reason, and I'm going to do so
without the benefit of having face-to-face contact with anyone
else other than my wife. I haven't seen my students or
colleagues (except on the computer) for more than seven
weeks. It's tempting to look at this situation as a very
negative one, but while it does have its negative aspects, it also
has a ton of positive ones, opportunities that I now have that I
wouldn't have if life were going on as it did before this pandemic
hit our country.
The
lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive.
The great opportunity is where you are.
John
Burroughs
In
my current situation, I'm confined to our apartment more or less
all day, minus the times my wife and I go for walks or when I go
for runs or bike rides. We're very fortunate that we live in
a very comfortable apartment in which all of our needs are taken
care of and we're able to live rather comfortably. We have
heat and water and sewage service and electricity, as well as more
entertainment available than we could ever take advantage of--or
would even want to.
But still, there are aspects of being "locked down" that
are unpleasant. I miss seeing my students and my
colleagues. I miss walking to the store just to
browse. I miss eating in the nice restaurant that's really
close to us, where we know many of the servers and they know
us. I miss the feeling that on any given day, we could meet
someone new and start talking to them and make a new friend.
But I don't miss things like this enough to be miserable. I
don't know that I could ever miss any particular thing enough to
make myself suffer because it's not a part of my life.
Rather, I want to look at the time that I have "stuck"
in our apartment is enjoyable and productive. I want to get
things done (though I don't want to be too strongly focused on
productivity), and I want to relax and I want to do things that I
love to do. So I look at my situation and try to decide what
to do based on what kinds of opportunities are there for me.
The
pessimist sees the
difficulty in every opportunity;
the
optimist, the opportunity
in every difficulty.
L.P.
Jacks
No
matter how I look at my isolation, of course, my job has to come
first--after all, that's what's paying for my home and my food and
pretty much everything else. I teach, so my teaching is now
done online, from home. No matter what new and different
opportunities that I have with my new situation, unless my work
gets done, I'll be able to take advantage of none of the
possibilities. And that's fine. I'll do the work first
and then move on to my new opportunities.
The opportunity that I've taken advantage of the most is that of
reading. I've found some books that I read many years ago
that I want to re-read, as I now have more time that I can devote
to reading. I've made it through several books already, and
I've been astonished to find out just how little I actually
remembered about the books. It's nice to revisit them and
get to know the characters and authors again, and it's also nice
to remind myself of the stories that I originally read so long
ago.
I'm also spending time on a hobby of mine that I've been doing for
several years now, and that got put on a back burner because of
work obligations. I was able to work on this hobby during
school breaks, mostly, but now I can find another hour or two a
few times a week to work on it, and it's been a lot of fun and
quite gratifying to finally be making more headway on something
that I wanted to do anyway.
Something that I'll be doing soon is either painting or drawing--I
haven't decided yet. I like both of them, even though I'm
not all that good at either. It doesn't matter whether I'm
good or not, though--it's the process of creating something new,
something that didn't exist yesterday, that's the beneficial part
of art. As long as I don't get too caught up in judging my
own work, I can have fun creating a visual image of my thoughts,
or of creating a two-dimensional representation of things that
exist around me in three dimensions.
The
secret of success in life is for a person to be ready
for his or her opportunity when it comes.
I
also have more time to cook, which means that I can make some
meals that we don't normally eat. Of course, there are
limits to the number of trips I can make to the supermarket these
days, so I have to make sure I have a lot of different things on
hand, but all in all it's not that difficult to create some new
meals or make some of our favorites that we haven't tried in quite
a while.
I live in an apartment now, so I don't have a yard, but this would
be a perfect time to take care of many of the spring tasks that
yards demand, or even to fix that fence or put in that patio or
deck. Working in the yard would get me out of doors and it
would give me the chance to use my legs more than I'm using them
now, sitting at a desk or on a couch with a computer in front of
me.
Many of the decisions about what we do and don't do have to do
with time--I simply don't have time to do certain things when
school takes up a ton of my time. Now, though, even though I
am working at home, other time has opened up for me--I don't have
to spend half an hour getting ready for work in the morning, and
my drives to and from school don't happen any more.
Likewise, I can make my own schedule during the day, so when I
work three hours straight grading, for example, I can easily take
a half-hour recess and go for a short walk.
The biggest threat to my opportunities, I have to say, is the
Internet. I've become a bit addicted to the news over the
last ten weeks, wanting to know everything I can about this virus,
its effects, and how to deal with it. The problem is that
when I'm looking at articles, it's very easy to open a new tab and
start looking at something else that is completely unrelated to
anything I've been doing, and thus much of the time that I've
gained is now lost on something that I never would have clicked on
under normal circumstances. Likewise, given the fact that I
don't see anyone at all, all day long, it's easy to want to see a
social media page to at least get the feeling of having contact
with friends--and that's also something that I normally never
would do. So I need to be careful about my time spent
online, and how it's spent.
I'm not a person who thinks that we should always be accomplishing
something, always working, always achieving. Some of my most
important moments are rests or walks or runs or even naps.
But I do know that we've been given a set of opportunities here,
and it's important to recognize them and do what we can with them
so that when this time passes, we'll be able to look back upon it
with a sense of satisfaction and say, "I did something
positive with my life during those days," rather than,
"I watched a lot of television programs that I had already
seen."
Be
grateful for what you do have, and
you will find it increases. I like to
bless with love all that is in my life
right now--my home, the heat, water,
light, telephone, furniture, plumbing, appliances, clothing,
transportation,
jobs--the money I do have, friends,
my ability to see and feel and taste
and touch and walk and to enjoy
this incredible planet.
Louise Hay
An
Irish Blessing
May your joys be
as bright as the morning,
and your sorrows merely be shadows
that fade in the sunlight of love.
May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet,
Enough trials to keep you strong,
Enough sorrow to keep you human,
Enough hope to keep you happy,
Enough failure to keep you humble,
Enough success to keep you eager,
Enough friends to give you comfort,
Enough courage and faith in yourself to banish sadness,
Enough wealth to meet your needs,
And one more thing:
Enough determination to make each day
a more wonderful day than the one before.
You don't
really understand human nature unless you know why
a child on a
merry-go-round will wave at his or her parents every
time around -- and
why his or her parents will always wave back.
William D.
Tammeus
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
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