Hello,
and welcome to our very first issue of the new year. This is always an issue
that we look forward to, for we know that we have 52
opportunities to share more
important and uplifting material with you in the
coming year. Please enjoy the
words of wisdom that you find here--we hope that
they're interesting and relevant
to you and the life that you're living on this
amazing planet!
No
matter the goal you have set -- if
you have not quit, you
have not failed -
Laura
Teresa Marquez
Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can
only be
expected from the strong. -
Leo Buscaglia
If
we do not discipline ourselves the world will do it for us.
Control from without flourishes when discipline from within
grows weak. -
William Feather
No
people are happier on this earth than those who have friends with whom they
can talk, with whom they can live, with whom they can have a friendly chat.
-
Hitopadesa
Of all the reasons we work, the effort to leave a
footprint to mark our passing on the earth is the
most compelling. Among those who come to me
with their stories, it is easy to get caught up in
the medical cycle of diagnosis and treatment.
It is not hard to recognize depression and anxiety,
the two most common disorders of those who seek help
from a psychiatrist. The fact that we now have
medications that are effective in lifting these
burdens from people can obscure the fact that
happiness is much more than the absence of
depression.
I often tell people that the medicine I am about to
give them is designed only to relieve the burden of
depression: The crushing weight, the cloud,
the shackles that rob their lives of pleasure, their
nights of sleep, and their closest relationships of
the simple joys of companionship and intimacy.
For many people, this is more than enough
help. Relief from a pain long endured is a
state devoutly to be wished, and people are
grateful. For many, it is like being freed
from prison, though the important question
remains: free to do what?
And yet, pleasure is not the absence of pain, nor is
health the absence of disease. It is what we
do and who we are with that makes us happy. In
a larger sense, our mortality confronts us with
questions of meaning. What is the point of our
daily struggles? Most of us now have the
leisure to contemplate the reasons driving our work
and our play.
There is a
certain emptiness to the simple equation of work and
consumption. ("I shop, therefore I am.")
None of us are young enough or rich enough to live up to the
icons we create to stoke the engines of commerce. No one
is immune to these influences, but all of us are in danger of
endorsing the superficiality they purvey. The pictures of
people in stores trampling each other to get to bargains on the
aptly named "Black Friday" after Thanksgiving are both
revealing and disturbing.
In our daily lives, questions of personal worth are recurrent,
if seldom articulated. This is never more evident than in
the lives of those who retire. We are so defined by our
work that our identities without it are in question.
Unless we have something else to anchor us, we are in danger of
disappearing, of becoming unseen by those who are still
"productive." Our families provide the most
obvious continuing connections to a meaningful life. In
this society, however, the status of the elderly is sufficiently
devalued that even family ties are freighted with questions of
mental and physical decline.
The groundwork for this unenviable state has been laid in the
choices we make when young. The nature of most
work--repetitive and unsatisfying--guarantees that we think of
our jobs as little more than a means to support ourselves and to
enable us to pursue leisure activities that commonly add little
to our sense of personal significance. We are, in short,
starved for meaning.
I am convinced that this vacuum is what accounts for our
fondness for organized religion. Deprived of a clear sense
of purpose or satisfaction, apprehensive about the significance
of our lives, fearful of the apparent finality of death, we are
desperate for an explanation for our existence and eager for
some reassurance that there is a guiding purpose behind our
daily struggles. . . . But religious belief is not the only path
to a life of meaning. It is possible to revere our world
and the people in it, to accept the uncertainty that is the
hallmark of our world, and to place one's faith in the angels of
our better nature. Above all, we might do well to
cultivate a certain humility about our particular conception of
what constitutes an ethical life and be willing to accept those
who peacefully disagree with us.
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The Acres of Diamonds
story — a true one — is told of an African farmer
who heard tales about other farmers who had made
millions by discovering diamond mines. These tales so
excited the farmer that he could hardly wait to sell
his farm and go prospecting for diamonds himself. He
sold the farm and spent the rest of his life wandering
the African continent searching unsuccessfully for the
gleaming gems that brought such high prices on the
markets of the world. Finally, worn out and in a fit
of despondency, he threw himself into a river and
drowned.
Meanwhile, the man
who had bought his farm happened to be crossing the
small stream on the property one day, when suddenly
there was a bright flash of blue and red light from
the stream bottom. He bent down and picked up a stone.
It was a good-sized stone, and admiring it, he brought
it home and put it on his fireplace mantel as an
interesting curiosity.
Several weeks later a
visitor picked up the stone, looked closely at it,
hefted it in his hand, and nearly fainted. He asked
the farmer if he knew what he’d found. When the
farmer said, no, that he thought it was a piece of
crystal, the visitor told him he had found one of the
largest diamonds ever discovered. The farmer had
trouble believing that. He told the man that his creek
was full of such stones, not all as large as the one
on the mantel, but sprinkled generously throughout the
creek bottom.
The farm the first
farmer had sold, so that he might find a diamond mine,
turned out to be one of the most productive diamond
mines on the entire African continent. The first
farmer had owned, free and clear. . . acres of
diamonds. But he had sold them for practically
nothing, in order to look for them elsewhere. The
moral is clear: If the first farmer had only taken the
time to study and prepare himself to learn what
diamonds looked like in their rough state, and to
thoroughly explore the property he had before looking
elsewhere, all of his wildest dreams would have come
true.
The thing about this
story that has so profoundly affected millions of
people is the idea that each of us is, at this very
moment, standing in the middle of our own acres of
diamonds. If we had only had the wisdom and patience
to intelligently and effectively explore the work in
which we’re now engaged, to explore ourselves, we
would most likely find the riches we seek, whether
they be financial or intangible or both.
Before you go running
off to what you think are greener pastures, make sure
that your own is not just as green or perhaps even
greener. It has been said that if the other guy’s
pasture appears to be greener than ours, it’s quite
possible that it’s getting better care. Besides,
while you’re looking at other pastures, other people
are looking at yours.
A man I knew in
Arizona began with a small gas station. One day, while
one of his young attendants filled a man’s gas tank,
he watched the customer while he stood about waiting
for the job to be finished. It dawned upon him that
the man had money in his pockets and there were things
he needed or wanted that he would pay for if they were
conveniently displayed where he could see them.
So he began adding
things. Fishing tackle, then fishing licenses, hunting
and camping equipment, rifles, shot guns, ammunition,
hunting licenses. He found an excellent line of
aluminum fishing boats and trailers. He began buying
up the contiguous property around him. Then he added
an auto parts department. He always sold cold soft
drinks and candy, but now he added an excellent line
of chocolates in a refrigerated case. Before long, he
sold more chocolates than anyone else in the state. He
carried thousands of things his customers could buy
while waiting for their cars to be serviced.
All the products he
sold also guaranteed that most of the gas customers in
town would come to his station. He sold more gas. He
began cashing checks on Friday, and his sales grew. It
all started with a man with a human brain watching a
customer standing around with money in his pockets and
nothing to spend it on. Others would have lived and
died with the small service station, and they do. My
friend saw the diamonds.
Many service station
operators, upon seeing a wealthy customer drive in,
might say to themselves, I ought to be in his
business. Not so. There’s just as much
opportunity in one business as another, if we’ll
only stop playing copycat and begin to think
creatively, in new directions. It’s there, believe
me. And it’s your job to find it.
Take the time to
stand off and look at your work as a stranger might
and ask, Why does he do it that way? Has he
noticed how what he’s doing might be capitalized
upon or multiplied? If you’re happy with things
as they are, then by all means, keep them that way.
But there’s great fun in finding diamonds hiding in
ourselves and in our work. We never get bored or blasé
or find ourselves in a rut. A rut, remember, is really
nothing more than a grave with the ends kicked out.
Some of the most interesting businesses in the world
grew out of what was originally a very small idea in a
very small area. If something is needed in one town,
then the chances are it’s also needed in all towns
and cities all over the country.
You might also ask
yourself, How good am I at what I’m presently
doing? Do you know all there is to know about
your work? Would you call yourself a first-class
professional at your work? How would your work stand
up against the work of others in your line?
The first thing we
need to do to become a “diamond miner” is to break
away from the crowd and quit assuming that because
people in the millions are living that way, it must be
the best way. It is not the best way. It’s the
average way. The people going the best way are way out
in front. They’re so far ahead of the crowd you
can’t even see their dust anymore. These are the
people who live and work on the leading edge, the
cutting edge, and they mark the way for all the rest.
It takes imagination,
curious imagination, to know that diamonds don’t
look like cut and polished gemstones in their rough
state, nor does a pile of iron ore look like stainless
steel. To prospect your own acres of diamonds, develop
a faculty we might call “intelligent objectivity.”
The faculty to stand off and look at your work as a
person from Mars might look at it. Within the
framework of what industry or profession does your job
fall? Isn’t it time for a refreshing change of some
kind? How can the customer be given more value? Each
morning ask yourself, How can I increase my
service today? There are rare and very marketable
diamonds lurking all around me. Have I been looking
for them? Have I examined every facet of my work and
of the industry or profession in which it has its
life?
There are better ways
to do what you are presently doing. What are they? How
will your work be performed 20 years from now?
Everything in the world is in a state of evolution and
improvement. How could you do today what would
eventually be done anyway?
Sure there’s risk
involved; there’s no growth of any kind without
risk. We start running risks when we get out of bed in
the morning. Risks are good for us. They bring out the
best that’s in us. They brighten the eye and get the
mind cooking. They quicken the step and put a new
shining look on our days. Human beings should never be
settled. It’s okay for chickens and cows and cats,
but it’s wrong for human beings. People start to die
when they become settled. We need to keep things
stirred up.
Back in 1931, Lloyd
C. Douglas, the world-famous novelist who wrote The
Robe, Magnificent Obsession, and other
bestselling books, wrote a magazine article titled
“Escape.” In that article Douglas asked, “Who of
us has not at some time toyed briefly with the
temptation to run away? If all the people who have
given that idea the temporary hospitality of their
imagination were to have acted upon it, few would be
living at their present addresses. And of the small
minority who did carry the impulse into effect, it’s
doubtful if many ever disengaged themselves as
completely as they had hoped from the problems that
hurled them forth. More often than otherwise, it may
be surmised, they packed up their troubles in their
old kit bags and took them along.”
The point of the
article was simply, don’t try to run away from your
troubles. Overcome them. Prevail right where you are.
What we’re really after is not escape from our
complexities and frustrations, but a triumph over
them. And one of the best ways to accomplish that is
to get on course and stay there. Restate and reaffirm
your goal, the thing you want most to do, the place in
life you want most to reach. See it clearly in your
mind’s eye just as you can envision the airport in
Los Angeles when you board your plane in New York.
Like a great ship in a storm, just keep your heading
and your engines running. The storm will pass,
although sometimes it seems that it never will. One
bright morning you’ll find yourself passing the
harbor light. Then you can give a big sigh of relief
and rest a while, and almost before you know it,
you’ll find your eyes turning seaward again.
You’ll think of a new harbor you’d like to visit,
a new voyage upon which to embark. And once again,
you’ll set out.
That’s just the way
this funny-looking, two-legged, curious, imaginative,
tinkering, fiddling dreamer called a human being
operates. He escapes from problems not by running away
from them, but by overcoming them. And no sooner does
he overcome one set of problems, but he starts looking
around for new and more difficult pickles to get into
and out of.
If you feel like
running away from it all once in a while, you’re
perfectly normal. If you stay and get rid of your
problems by working your way through them, you’re a
success. Start taking an hour a day with a legal pad
and dissect your work. Take it apart and look at its
constituent parts. There’s opportunity there.
That’s your acre of diamonds.
Diamond Mining
To prospect your own acres of diamonds and unearth the
opportunities that exist in your life right now,
regularly challenge yourself with some key questions:
1. How good am I at what I’m presently doing?
2. Can I call myself a first-class professional
at my work?
3. How would my work stand up against the work
of others in my field?
4. Do I know all I can about my industry or
profession?
5. How can the customer be given a better break?
6. How can I increase my service?
7. There are rare and very marketable diamonds
lurking all around me. Have I been looking for them?
Have I examined every facet of my work and of the
industry or profession in which it has its life?
8. There are better ways to do what I’m
presently doing. What are they?
9. How will my work be performed 20 years from
now?
10. Everything in the world is in a state of
evolution and improvement. How can I do now what will
eventually be done anyway?
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
Several
years ago, a friend of mine lived with me during the final few
months of her life. Not completely understanding the effects
of her illness,
I kept saying, "Michelle, you must eat.
You're getting too thin! Eat!" And
after she
died, I read in her journal about how "Marianne takes it for
granted that if you eat, you gain weight; if you want to go out
somewhere,
you can; and if you want to live past this year, it's a
reasonable proposition."
She was someone who had so
little to be happy about, but she taught me so
much about
happiness. During those months, right after the birth of my
daughter, I would come home to find my dying friend with my baby
snuggled
next to her. There was a smile of bliss on both
their faces
that I will remember all my days.
We all have been given an amazing gift on this planet, and that
gift lies in the differences between us. The perspectives
that each person has are completely unique to each
individual--even though we often decide to share certain things
with others with whom we live--and if we truly respect those
differences and try to learn what they are, they can teach us new
and exciting ways of seeing our world. When we decide that
someone else is simply "wrong" because they don't see
the world as we see it, then we close off any chances that we have
to learn from them, instead becoming victims of our own ignorance
and judgment.
We have many, many lessons in nature and art that show us quite
clearly that diversity is much more to be desired than
conformity. What would a painting look like if every color
were the same, if it weren't given the opportunity to work with
the other colors to stand out next to this one, to complement this
other one, to create its own message? One of the reasons
that flowers are so beautiful is because they have subtle
differences that distinguish them from each other, even when they
look similar at first glance--and they always have the green of
their leaves and stalks to complement the colors and shapes that
they show the world. And what if all our foods tasted the
same? We accept fully the fact that our foods should
taste different, but somehow we find it disturbing or
uncomfortable that other human beings should see the world
differently from us.
Just as many threads work together to form a beautiful tapestry or
the many blocks make up a quilt, it takes many individuals to make
up a community. We've come to believe somehow that the fewer
differences in opinion or perspective we have among members of
communities, the fewer problems we'll have in those
communities. Because of this mistaken belief, we've striven
to keep our communities stable by keeping out people who might be
"different" from us. We've even created myths or
rumors to share with others so that the others also will believe
that it would be bad to let these people into our communities.
If
we are to achieve a richer culture, rich in contrasting
values,
we must
recognize the whole gamut of human potentialities, and
so
weave a less
arbitrary social fabric, one in which each
diverse human
gift will find a fitting place.
Margaret
Mead
And just what
do we lose when we keep people out of our lives
because of their skin color, religious beliefs, or
ethnic heritage? Mostly, we lose the
opportunity to learn from someone else who sees the
world in different ways. We lose the chance to
learn from rich cultural heritages that these people
have spent their lives learning from, and that they
can now pass on to us.
Think about it this way: If four people from
completely different backgrounds were to get
together for the very first time and have only
twelve hours to spend together, what would be the
best way for them to spend their time?
Should they spend those twelve hours discussing life
and lessons that they have learned about it,
learning from each other as they do so?
Or should they spend those twelve hours telling why
what they think is right, and arguing that what the
other three think is wrong?
When we're faced with diversity in thought and
perspective, we often spend so much of our time
trying to prove that our perspective is the
"right" one that we don't take the chance
to learn about other perspectives, and perhaps even
modifying our own perspectives a bit based on what
we learn.
One small example in my life was that as I grew up
in America, I learned that it's perfectly fine to
use the insult as humor, trying to make other people
laugh by insulting someone. Five years in
Europe, though, taught me that this kind of humor is
really mean, not funny--and the laughter that comes
from it is based more on fear and feelings of
superiority than it is on humor. Because of
what I learned by living in other cultures, I've
been able to make important decisions about how I
relate to other people, and that has made a huge
difference in my life.
When
you're finally up on the moon, looking back at the earth,
all these
differences and nationalistic traits are pretty well going
to blend and you're
going to get a concept that maybe this is really one world
and why the
hell can't we learn to live together like decent people?
Frank
Borman
To me, diversity is not about race or ethnic origin--I believe
that these are artificial distinctions that we make between human
beings in order to differentiate ourselves from others based on
the most superficial of criteria. Where humanity is
concerned, skin color means nothing; country of origin means
nothing, even gender means nothing. Yes, there are certain
traits that we develop as Russians or Algerians or Australians, or
as men or women, but the truth is that in each body of each human
a heart is beating, lungs are functioning, and a brain is
calculating and considering and dreaming.
Diversity, rather, is a question of the ways that we see and share
the world, the ways that we react to stimuli and create the lives
that we're living. Much of the way that we see the world has
to do with traits that we've adopted from those people who live
around us, and therein lies what we see as "cultural"
differences. But those differences are not inborn in
us--rather, they are adopted by us as we grow. They can be
extremely valuable and helpful in understanding other people, but
they truly don't define us as human beings. We tend to use
them as our measure of diversity, though, because they're easy to
see and to quantify and to understand.
True diversity lies in our uniqueness, the aspects of ourselves
that are truly ours alone, the ways that we understand life and
living and our relationships with other human beings. We see
this true diversity not by looking at the skin, but by looking in
the eyes and realizing that those eyes are the windows to a soul,
an amazing being who is different than us, and who can teach us a
great deal if we only take the chance to listen.
Some
people do things completely differently from the way you
would
do them. It does not mean that they are right
or that you are wrong. It means that people are
different. There are things that people say
which
you would probably say in a different way, at a different
time. It does not mean that people are wrong to
speak up, to speak out, or
to speak their minds. Nor
does it mean that you are wrong for choosing
not to do
so. It means that people are different. Different
is not right
or wrong. It is a reality.
Differences become problems only when we
choose to measure
ourselves by our difference in an effort
to determine who
is right and who is wrong.
Our cultures
and societies are richer and stronger for diversity,
not weakened by it. We will truly benefit from
that diversity, though, only when we completely
accept the fact that other human beings see life in
ways that are different from our ways. We
aren't on this planet to make other people think and
feel and act just like we do--we're here to work
with others to help to make this world a more
positive and more loving place.
We now spend a huge amount of time trying to
convince others that our ways of seeing the world
are right, and theirs are wrong. Think about
how much we could get done together if we were to
stop spending time this way, and instead spend time
working together constructively to actually
accomplish things that help other people to live
their lives in more positive ways. The shame
of not accepting others for who they are and what
they believe is that we limit our own potential
concerning what we can accomplish in the short time
that we're here on this planet.
Never will I
allow myself to become so important, so wise, so dignified,
that I forget how to laugh at myself and my world. In this
matter I will
always remain as a child, for only as a child am I given the
ability to
look
up to others; and so long as I look up to another
I will never
grow too
long for my cot.
To build a sustainable future will require
dramatic changes in the overall levels and patterns of
consumption in developed nations. To change consumption
levels and patterns will require a new consciousness and new
consensus among millions of persons--and this will require
dramatic changes in the consumerist messages we give ourselves
through the mass media, particularly television. In the
United States 98 percent of all homes have a TV set, and the
average person watches more than four hours of television per
day. In addition, a majority of people get a majority of
their news from this source. What is more, the average
person will see more than 35,000 commercials each year.
Television is more powerful than either the schools or the
workplace in creating our shared view of reality and social
identity. Not surprisingly, then, television is the most
powerful instrument in developed nations for promoting either
consumption or conservation.
Currently, the television industry is aggressively promoting
high-consumption lifestyles and ignoring the re-definition of
the "good life" that is needed if we are to build a
more sustainable future. The television industry is
understandably unsympathetic to simple ways of living.
Television stations make their profits by delivering the largest
possible audience of potential customers to corporate
advertisers. Mass entertainment is used to capture the
attention of a mass audience that is then appealed to by mass
advertising in order to promote mass consumption. The
television industry deliberately ignores the views and values of
those who have little to spend (the poor) and those who choose
to spend little (the frugal person or family that is more
concerned with the quality of being than the quantity of
having).
The profound consumerist bias of contemporary television creates
an impossible double bind: People use the consumption
levels and patterns portrayed in TV advertising to evaluate
their levels of personal well-being while those same consumption
patterns are simultaneously devastating the environment and
resource base on which our future depends. If the old
adage that "one picture is worth a thousand words" is
correct, then the 35,000 or so commercials that people see each
year represent the equivalent of 35 million words (!) about the
seeming importance of material consumption to our happiness and
satisfaction with life.
These commercials are far more than a pitch for a particular
product--they are also advertisements for the attitudes, values,
and lifestyles that surround consumption of that product.
The clothing, cars, settings, and other elements that create the
context for an advertisement send strong, implicit messages as
to the standards of living and patterns of behavior that are the
norm for society.
Not surprisingly, more frugal patterns of living and consuming
seldom appear on television. These themes would threaten
the legitimacy and potency of the television-induced cultural
hypnosis generated by a self-perpetuating cycle of mass
entertainment, mass advertising, and mass consumption. By
default, industrial societies are left with programming and
advertising that selectively portray and powerfully reinforce a
materialistic orientation toward life.
Duane Elgin Voluntary
Simplicity
Our
inner child is still in there somewhere, aching to be let loose from
all the layers we’ve piled on over the years. Why not break
him/her out
for the day or even a moment? Be playful. Blow some
bubbles. Skip
around the block. Feel the freedom. Take fearlessness
out
for a test run. Let yourself have some fun.
Lynn Hasselberger
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
