Welcome
to our final day of March, the end of the first
quarter of the year.
It's been a year full of trauma and conflict for so
many people so far, and
it doesn't look like things will be getting better
for many people any time soon.
We hope that you find yourself in a good place, and
that you're able to keep
your peace of mind, peace of heart, and balance
throughout what promise to
be rather chaotic times ahead.
Before
you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself.
When you become a leader, success is all about growing
others. -Jack Welch
The
philosophies of the wisest people that ever existed are
mainly derived from the act of introspection.
-William Godwin
Dream lofty dreams, and as you
dream, so you shall become. Your vision
is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is
the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.
-James Allen
Three things in human life are important: The first is
to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third
is to be kind. -Henry James
To be concentrated means to live fully in the present,
in the here and now, and not to think of the next thing to
be done, while I am doing something right now. Needless
to say that concentration must be practiced most of all by
people who love each other. They must learn to be close to
each other without running away in the many ways in which
this is customarily done. The
beginning of the practice of concentration will be
difficult; it will appear as if one could never achieve
the aim.
That this implies the necessity to have patience need
hardly be said. If
one does not know that everything has its time, and wants
to force things, then indeed one will never succeed in
becoming concentrated— nor in the art of loving. To
have an idea of what patience is one need only watch a
child learning to walk. It
falls, falls again, and falls again, and yet it goes on
trying, improving, until one day it walks without falling.
What could the
grown-up persons achieve if they had the child’s
patience and its concentration in the pursuits which are
important to them!
One cannot learn to concentrate without becoming sensitive
to oneself. What
does this mean? Should
one think about oneself all the time, “analyze”
oneself, or what? If
we were to talk about being sensitive to a machine, there
would be little difficulty in explaining what is meant. Anybody,
for instance, who drives a car is sensitive to it.
Even a
small, unaccustomed noise is noticed, and so is a small
change in the pickup of the motor. In
the same way, the driver is sensitive to changes in the
road surface, to movements of the cars before and behind
them. Yet, one
is not thinking about all these factors; one’s mind is
in a state of relaxed alertness, open to all relevant
changes in the situation on which one is
concentrated—that of driving the car safely.
If we look at the situation of being sensitive to another
human being, we find the most obvious example in the
sensitiveness and responsiveness of a mother to her baby. She
notices certain bodily changes, demands, anxieties, before
they are overtly expressed. She
wakes up because of her child’s crying, where another
and much louder sound would not waken her. All
this means that she is sensitive to the manifestations of
the child’s life; she is not anxious or worried, but in
a state of alert equilibrium, receptive to any significant
communication coming from the child.
In the same way one can be sensitive toward oneself. One
is aware, for instance, of a sense of tiredness or
depression, and instead of giving in to it and supporting
it by depressive thoughts which are always at hand, one
asks oneself “what happened?” Why am I depressed? The
same is done by noticing when one is irritated or angry,
or tending to daydreaming, or other escape activities. In
each of these instances the important thing is to be aware
of them, and not to rationalize them in the thousand and
one ways in which this can be done; furthermore, to be
open to our own inner voice, which will tell us—often
rather immediately—why we are anxious, depressed,
irritated.
The average person has a sensitivity toward their bodily
processes; they notice changes, or even small amounts of
pain; this kind of bodily sensitivity is relatively easy
to experience because most persons have an image of how it
feels to be well. The
same sensitivity toward one’s mental processes is much
more difficult, because many people have never known a
person who functions optimally. They
take the psychic functioning of their parents and
relatives, or of the social group they have been born
into, as the norm, and as long as they do not differ from
these they feel normal and without interest in observing
anything.
There are many people, for instance, who have never seen a
loving person, or a person with integrity, or courage, or
concentration. It
is quite obvious that in order to be sensitive to oneself,
one has to have an image of complete, healthy human
functioning—and how is one to acquire such an experience
if one has not had it in one’s own childhood, or later
in life? There
is certainly no simple answer to this question; but the
question points to one very critical factor in our
educational system.
While we teach knowledge, we are losing that teaching
which is the most important one for human development: the
teaching which can only be given by the simple presence of
a mature, loving person. In
previous epochs of our own culture, or in China and India,
the man most highly valued was the person with outstanding
spiritual qualities. Even
the teacher was not only, or even primarily, a source of
information, but their function was to convey certain
human attitudes.
In contemporary capitalistic society—and the same holds
true for Russian Communism—the people suggested for
admiration and emulation are everything but bearers of
significant spiritual qualities. Those
are essentially in the public eye who give the average
person a sense of vicarious satisfaction. Movie
stars, radio entertainers, columnists, important business
or government figures—these are the models for
emulation. Their
main qualification for this function is often that they
have succeeded in making the news.
Yet, the situation does not seem to be altogether
hopeless. If
one considers the fact that a man like Albert Schweitzer
could become famous in the United States, if one
visualizes the many possibilities to make our youth
familiar with living and historical personalities who show
what human beings can achieve as human beings, and not as
entertainers (in the broad sense of the word), if one
thinks of the great works of literature and art of all
ages, there seems to be a chance of creating a vision of
good human functioning, and hence of sensitivity to
malfunctioning.
If we should not succeed in keeping alive a vision of
mature life, then indeed we are confronted with the
probability that our whole cultural tradition will break
down. This
tradition is not primarily based on the transmission of
certain kinds of knowledge, but of certain kinds of human
traits. If the
coming generations will not see these traits anymore, a
five-thousand-year-old culture will break down, even if
its knowledge is transmitted and further developed.
A song
to think about this week. Fifty years old, and
possibly more relevant now than it was when it was
written:
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You will find, in the effort to reach a higher spirituality in your daily life, that the small things try your patience and your strength more than the greater ones.
Home life, like business life, is composed of an accumulation of trifles.
There are people who bear great sorrows with resignation, and seem to gain a certain dignity and force of character through trouble, but who are utterly vanquished by trivial
annoyances.
The old-fashioned orthodox "Christian" was frequently of this order. Death, poverty, and misfortune he bore without complaining, and became ofttimes a more agreeable companion in times of deepest sorrow.
He regarded all such experiences as the will of God, and bowed to them.
Yet, if his dinner was late, his coffee below the standard, if his eye-glasses were misplaced, or his toe trodden upon, he become a raging lion, and his roar drove his affrighted household into dark corners.
There have been neighborhood Angels, who watched beside the dying sinner, sustained orphans and widows, and endured great troubles sublimely like martyrs.
But if a dusty shoe trod upon a freshly washed floor, or husband or child came tardily to the breakfast-table, or lingered outside the door after regulation hour for retiring—lo, the Angel became a virago, or a droning mosquito with persistent sting.
The New Philosophy demands serenity and patience through small trials, as well as fortitude in meeting life's larger ills.
It demands, too, that we seek to avoid giving others unnecessary irritation by a thoughtless disregard of the importance of trifles.
A man is more likely to keep calm if he wakes in the night and discovers that the house is on fire, than he is if, on being fully prepared to retire, he finds the only mug on the third story is missing from his wash-stand, or the cake of toilet-soap he asked for the day before has been forgotten.
A mother bears the affliction of a crippled child with more equanimity than she is able to bring to bear upon the continual thoughtlessness of a strong one.
To be kind, means to be thoughtful.
The kindest and most loving heart will sometimes forget and be careless; but it cannot be perpetually forgetful and careless of another's wishes and needs, even in the merest trifles.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
I have found in life that
if you
want
a
miracle you
first
need
to do
whatever
it is you can do--
if that's
to plant, then plant;
if it is to read,
then read;
if it is to change, then
change;
if it is to study, then study;
if it is to work, then work;
whatever
you have to do.
And then you will
be well
on your way
of doing the
labor
that works miracles.
It's interesting that we use this word mostly to warn people of
dangerous things that could harm us. It's pretty obvious
just from looking at the word that it's a combination of two
words: be (ben in Middle English) + aware or wary,
which means watchful, cautious, or alert. It's one of my
favorite words of all, because it doesn't just mean to be cautious
of danger to me--it also means to pay attention to all of the
little things of life, those little things that we so often tend
to overlook, but which definitely have the potential to harm us in
many different ways.
It's important for us to keep this word in mind all the time, for
it's important that we be wary of our own actions, thoughts, and
beliefs. Only when we're fully aware of what we're doing or
thinking can we start to recognize the cause and effect
relationships between what we do and think and the quality of our
lives. All of us want to improve the quality of our
lives--and I'm not speaking of striving to achieve luxury or
ownership, but striving to become happy and fulfilled. The
only way that we can make such an improvement, though, is to be
sure that we know what we're doing in the first place.
For example, it took me a long, long time to realize just how much
my beliefs about myself and relationships were hurting me.
I've always tried to be a nice person, but that never helped me
much when it came to developing relationships with other
people. The most dominant element of who I was as far as
relationships were concerned was my fear--and that fear came from
the belief that other people didn't want to be with me, and would
end up hurting me if somehow they ever were with me. This is
a fear that's quite common for people who grew up with an
alcoholic parent, but one that I truly wasn't aware of, and that I
could not be wary of as long as I wasn't aware of it.
All of us tend to put off living. We
are all dreaming
of some magical
rose garden
over the
horizon instead of enjoying the roses
that are blooming
outside our windows today.
There are many
things that I need to be wary of in life, for they
tend to creep up on me and affect my life in
negative ways. For example, I need to beware
of my ego, for it often affects the ways that I
treat other people, and the ways that I go about
doing certain things--and it also affects my
decisions when it comes to being honest or
not. How many times have I wanted to say
"I didn't do that" when I actually had,
just because my ego doesn't want to admit that I
might have failed or done something poorly?
I need to beware of my own assumptions, especially
those concerning other people. When I make
such assumptions, I stop trying to learn about
others, for I think I already know what I need to
know. But I don't. What we know about
other people and their thoughts and feelings is
almost nothing; when we assume that we do know about
them, then we stop learning about them. We
also more than likely will miss many things that
could be very important to us--when I assume that a
book's going to be no good, for example, I never
give myself the chance to find out whether it is or
not. I can also hurt other people when I
assume that they don't want a certain something, so
I pass on the chance.
I need to beware of my tendency to take things for
granted. I have many things in life that are
very important to me, and I need to be thankful for
everything. Once I take something for
granted--especially other people--then I see less
value in that thing or person, even though it's
still just as valuable as ever. The problem is
with me, in not seeing that value any more.
When I refuse to recognize and appreciate that
value, though, my life becomes somewhat poorer, and
it's a poverty that can and should be avoided simply
by being mindful that yes, this person is valuable
to me, and I should appreciate the person and his or
her contribution to my life, no matter how small
that contribution may be.
If we face our unpleasant feelings with care,
affection, and nonviolence,
we can transform them into a kind of energy that is healthy and has
the capacity to nourish us.By
the work of mindful observation,
our unpleasant feelings can illuminate so much for us, offering us
insight and understanding into ourselves and society.
I need to
beware of my feelings, and especially I need to
beware of acting based on those feelings. My
feelings are often based upon patterns of thought
that I developed long ago, and they very often are
inappropriate or inaccurate now that I'm a much
older person than I was when they started.
When I was very young, I might have learned to shut
down when someone said something mean or insulting
to me, for I thought as a kid that doing so would
make the hurt feelings better. That was never
true, though--first of all, feeling hurt was my
choice, though I didn't know it then, and now I have
different choices to make regarding my
feelings. If someone says something mean or
insulting to me today, I see that as a reflection of
that person, and no longer a reflection of me.
My feelings have already caused enough damage to me
in my life, and I need to beware of their undue
influence upon my state of mind.
It's very important that I beware of my fear, for
this is an aspect of who I am that has almost never
served me well. It's caused me to lose
potential relationships, to miss out on things that
could have been fun and rewarding, to feel badly
about myself, to avoid situations that could have
been beneficial to me. Of course, fear can be
helpful as an indicator of danger sometimes, but
most often, my fear is simply of how things may
turn out badly later--not of how things are or how
things are really going to be. My fear has
been the cause of many hours of pain and grief, and
I don't want to continue to give it that kind of
power over me.
And on a very superficial level, I need to beware of
the people on this planet who do their best to
improve their own lives by hurting others. I
need to be aware of scams, of thieves, of liars, of
cheats. Fortunately, there are relatively few
of these people, and I can be aware of what they do
and how they do it in order to avoid falling prey to
their plans and techniques. Also on a
superficial level, I need to beware of cars when I
cross the street, of standing too close to the edge
of things, of sharp objects, of stove burners that
are hot, of food that is old and moldy, and of many
other things that can harm me if I'm not
careful. But these are things that I notice in
certain situations, and not things that I need to be
paranoid about during every waking hour.
There also exists a sleeping sickness of the soul.
Its
most dangerous aspect
is that one is unaware of
its
coming. That is why you have to be careful. As soon
as you notice the slightest sign of
indifference, the
moment
you become aware of the loss of
a certain
seriousness, of longing,
of enthusiasm and zest,
take
it as a warning.
You should realize your soul
suffers if you live superficially.
It's necessary
to beware of some things, but we don't want to live
our lives being always wary of things--we need to
spend our lives being appreciative of things, being
mindful of the beauty and wonder of the world, not
afraid of the dangers of the world. I can be
wary of the dangers of a mountain path where there
may be bears or mountain lions and still take that
path and still enjoy myself--being aware of possible
problems does not mean that we don't completely
avoid a certain activity or place or person. I
can have a friendship with a thief, even, as long as
I'm careful not to expose too much of what I have to
that person.
So beware. Beware of the things about yourself
that keep you from living fully. Don't let
them control your life--use them for what they do
give you that's positive, but don't ever allow them
complete control. Be aware of the potential
problems that they can cause and do your best to
avoid those problems, but remember that those parts
of yourself never should define who you are or how
you live. Your full life is up to you, and the
ways that you live it.
My heart
leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So it was when my life began;
So it is now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is the father of the man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.
Some important
life lessons from The Complete Live and Learn and Pass It On
I've
learned that it's never too late to improve yourself. -age
85
I've
learned that position can be bought, but respect must be
earned. -age 51
I've
learned that the best tranquilizer is a clear conscience.
-age 76
I've
learned that if I want the circumstances in my life to change for
the better, I must change for the better. - age 42
I've
learned that warmth, kindness, and friendship are the most
yearned-for commodities in the world. The persons who can
provide them will never be lonely. -age 79
I've
learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
milk. -age 7
I've
learned that beyond a certain comfortable style of living,
the more material things you have, the less freedom you
have. -age 62
I've
learned that attractiveness is a positive, caring attitude and has
nothing to do with face lifts or nose jobs. -age 56
The
world is full of magic things waiting patiently
for our senses to
grow sharper.
John
Keats
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
