Hi
again!
The end
of September is here, so tomorrow we have a brand-new month to
make of
all that we possibly can! We hope that this
day finds you healthy and feeling
positive, and we hope that next month turns out to
be one of your best ever!
The
cynic says, "One person can't do anything." I say,
"Only one person can do anything." One person
interacting creatively with others can move the world.
-John W.
Gardner
You don't
really understand human nature unless you know why
a child on a
merry-go-round will wave at his or her parents every
time around -- and
why his or her parents will always wave back. -William D.
Tammeus
I
imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates
so
stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone,
they will be
forced to deal with pain. -James
Baldwin
We
tolerate differences of opinion in people who are familiar to
us. But differences of opinion in people we do not know
sound like heresy or plots. -Brooks Atkinson
On
the afternoon of her fortieth birthday, I called a friend
to wish her well. I asked about her plans for the
rest of the day and learned that a celebration had already
taken place. In the morning, my friend, her two
sisters, and her husband had risen high into the Kentucky
sky in a hot-air balloon. "What was it
like?" I asked. "Well, I don't know if I
can explain it," she said. "I was so
focused on the moment, when it was actually
happening."
What
I learned from my friend that morning is that sometimes,
to be in the moment, you must surrender to it
completely. That's not to say you won't remember it
later, though you may forfeit the chance to put the moment
into words. And although I couldn't say exactly what
my pal experienced that morning, I heard the thrill and
awe in her voice.
To
truly be present, one must live inside the moment
and experience it for its own sake. If you live outside
the moment--observing and explaining--you're no longer
absorbing and feeling. The moment breaks apart and
eventually disappears. Think of a movie.
Sometimes it's impossible to explain what you've
seen. On another level, though, one you can't
necessarily pinpoint, you know that once you begin
dissecting your experience, you take away from it as well.
When
you live inside the moment, you break ties with the past
and the future.
You put aside yesterday's regrets
and shelve the fears of tomorrow, because ultimately these
moments have minds of their own. And like sand
through your fingertips, moments can't be held for
long. Even if you only have them by a thread, your
moments are worth holding on to, especially when you put
them all together. After all, isn't a succession of
moments what our lives are all about?
As
hard as we try to hold onto our moments--recognizing and
honoring them-- it's still tempting, habitual really, to
let them go, to minimize their presence. Instead of
collecting them, we scatter our moments like marbles that
roll in every direction. It reminds me of that old
game, Hot Potato. Get rid of it, quick! It's
as if we don't know what to do with the moment, as if we
really have to do something with it.
Perhaps
our penchant for minimizing the moment has something to do
with waiting. As children, many of us learned
exceedingly well how to wait. Wait until you're
older, wait until you're bigger, wait until you finish
your homework, wait until after school, wait until after
dinner. We were told to wait a lot. So we
waited, and instead of enjoying the moment, we focused on
what we were waiting for. It's not surprising then
that we tend to downgrade the moment or miss it
altogether.
As
I get older, the moment has become increasingly more
important. When I yield to the moment, I stop
fretting and worrying about the future. I stop
guessing at what may happen and, instead, pay attention to
what's right before my eyes. Sometimes the moment
exhilarates like a bright and unexpected shooting
star. Other times, the moment is painful, as if I'm
getting poked repeatedly in the side.
A
few years ago, I sat on my son's bedroom floor folding
some baby clothes that he'd outgrown. I could feel
the sadness and regret creeping in, but I wanted so badly
to feel OK about the passage of time. I quickened my
pace to push the pain away. I wanted the moment to
be over. Suddenly, though, I looked up and noticed a
very blue sky staring down through the window. Just
feel it, I said to myself, as I slowed down, trying to
focus on the task in front of me. I held a shirt
close to my face and inhaled as deeply as I could.
My heart seemed to crack and fill up at the same time as
feelings of hope and loss collided right there in a pile
of little boy's old clothes. When I finally got up
to leave the room, I wasn't sad anymore. Instead, I
thought about the miraculous growth of a child, whose
shirt size is less about loss and more about the gift of
life itself.
I
don't know if you can live inside each and every
moment. But when you can, try to stop, look, and
listen long enough to be right where you are, not in your
past, not in your future. Just right in the middle
of a split second in time.
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Success
is getting what you want;
happiness is wanting what you get.
Author Unknown
This
quote struck me. As a business and life coach, I work
with people every day who are striving to be - do - or
have something in their lives. Be it a successful
business, a life that is less stressed, or a more
satisfying career, everyone wants the same thing at the
core – to feel successful and to be happy.
It
sounds easy to attain but we all know it’s not. There
are many fine formulas for success and happiness out
there. You’ve probably tried many self-help or
business improvement programs and know they would work
if you consistently practiced and skillfully applied
them.
But in
my experience, it takes something else to truly
experience deep, enduring success and happiness.
It takes simple yet profound attitude shifts.
Attitude shifts, when adopted and practiced, can and
will change the fundamental nature of your being.
I offer
you the following back–to-basics Attitudes Of Success
and Happiness. Consider adopting them and see if you
notice a change in the quality of your life and
business.
The
Attitude of Gratitude
Gratitude
is appreciation and thankfulness. Do you remember
the last time you stopped for a moment simply to
acknowledge all the good things in your life? When
you’re focused on the big picture, or caught up in
day-to-day living, it’s hard to remember to take a
step back and count your blessings.
Having
a positive, gratitude attitude is basic for high-quality
mental health and for all-around success. Studies
show that individuals who have positive attitudes and
experience gratitude regularly have a higher rate of
happiness and less stress.
This
simple attitude shift can change your perspective almost
instantaneously. The next time you are
experiencing high stress, stop and take a deep
breath. Make a quick list in your head of five
things you are grateful for. You will feel better.
Learning
to see everything in an appreciative, positive way is
not easy. However, practice makes it easier.
The
Attitude of Possibility
Every
experience and opportunity is a gift. It leads to
possibility. Think back on your past experience,
good and bad – would you agree that even the most
difficult experiences had some sort of silver
lining? Are you somehow better off, or a better
person as a result your experience?
Now,
try this question on for size - can you ever really make
a mistake? If you believe you can, you’ll live your
life out of fear and never take risks. Consider
this - every failure or challenge, or “mistake” is
an opportunity for possibility. What would your
experience be of the events in your life if you were to
embrace possibility as the ultimate outcome of any
situation?
The
Attitude of Possibility is an art form. It takes
practice and trust to stay open to possibility.
When faced with any challenge, ask yourself, “How
might this experience be perfect right now?” And
then ask, “What is possible?”
The
Attitude of Abundance
Believe
it or not, there’s enough love, money and business to
go around. Contrary to popular belief, our world is an
abundant place. Think of how many people are on
the planet with needs and how many businesses start up
to meet those needs each year. Every business is
unique and attracts its perfect customers.
The
attitude here to adopt is - there IS enough. By
simply staying focused on your passion and attracting
your perfect customers, you will begin to experience
abundance in business and life. Choose to thrive
in a growing, abundant world and see what opens up for
you.
The
Attitude of Service
You are
Inspiration! Not only can you be driven by your
inspiration to be a successful person, you can BE
inspiration and have a fabulous life too! Think of
yourself as the beautiful, unique jewel that you are.
The offering you make to the world is founded on the
combination of your vision, your purpose and the gifts
you bring. This is where the attitude of service begins.
After
all, your values and vision spring from your
humanity. Be you. Be inspiration. Be
service. The Attitude of Service is not something
you put on and take off when at work. It is
something you carry with you throughout each day.
Someone who truly has the Attitude of Service will
always embody the Attitude of Service to other people,
no matter what the circumstances.
The
international business networking organization has the
Attitude of Service built into its program. “Givers Gain” is its motto. The idea behind it
is that if you focus on giving to others, more will come
back to you.
The
Attitude of Accountability
Keeping
on track to fulfill your goals takes intention.
One of the secrets of success is learning to adopt an
Attitude of Accountability. Human nature tends to
follow a path of least resistance.
The
Attitude of Accountability is about keeping your word
–doing what you say you’re going to do.
Keeping your word is a standard or a value that’s
attractive and success-producing.
Accountability
can take many forms. You can request a member of
your support team to hold you accountable; you can hire
a coach or mentor and deepen your work with them.
You can simply write your intentions down, create a
timeline and task list to review on a regular basis.
Whatever you decide is right for you.
I
challenge you to stay accountable. Honor whatever
investment you make of your precious time and
money. Take the time now to put systems into place
that will help you maintain your intentions, goals, and
actions.
It’s
YOUR life. . . imagine the possibilities!
* * * *
Helaine
Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher who loves her life.She
works withindividuals, and self-employed professionals, who
want tothrive
in their business while crafting a life that's in
absolute alignment with their highest ideals, deepest
values and gracefully masters the complexities of modern
living.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
If Spring came but once in a century, instead
of once a year, or burst
forth
with the sound of an
earthquake, and not in silence, what wonder
and expectation
there would be in all hearts to behold the
miraculous
change! But now the silent succession suggests
nothing but
necessity. To most people only the cessation of the miracle
would be miraculous and the perpetual exercise of God's
power
seems less wonderful than its withdrawal would be.
There is much to be thankful for in life. This is an
indisputable fact. The difficult part, though, is in our own
individual attitudes and perspectives--after all, it's extremely
simple to be caught up in the problems of our lives, the
difficulties, the unfair situations, the potential
disasters. And when I'm worried about paying bills or about
a loved one's health, it can be easy to stay focused on those
things and not on the other things for which I can feel a sense of
gratitude.
From the fact that I woke up for another day on this planet this
morning to the fact that I have a car that works and roads that
are safe to the job I have, the money I earn, the food I eat, and
the shelter I have, the list of things for which I can and should
be grateful is extensive. There are people somewhere out
there who are working every day to make sure that I have
electricity and telephone service and running water, and I live in
an era when I don't have to worry about many illnesses that would
have killed me just 50 or 100 years ago. By my calculations,
I probably would have died three or four times so far had I lived
in an era without the medicines and medical technology that we
have today.
In ordinary life we
hardly realize
that
we receive a great
deal more
than we
give,
and that it is
only with
gratitude
that life
becomes rich. It is very
easy to overestimate the
importance of our own achievements
in comparison
with
what we owe others.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
If our lives
are lacking anything, it very well could be a result
of us not looking at it properly. I've been
one of the worst of all at this over the course of
my life--I've wasted much time being focused on what
I thought was lacking in my life instead of focusing
on what I had to be grateful for. For the most
part, I'm over that, and even when things go badly
I'm able to see the silver linings and I'm able to
keep my mind on other things that are just fine
(such as my health when I have troubles at work, for
example).
The result of my somewhat skewed view of the world
was that I often made myself miserable because I
chose to put more of my attention on what I wished
would change than I did on the things I should have
been very grateful for. In my case, I know
that more gratitude would not only would have been
completely justified, but it would have made me a
happier person and would have allowed me to enjoy
all that I had much more than I actually did.
It was all my choice, really, and I certainly often
made the choice that hurt me rather than helped me.
I want my life to be rich, though, and I want to
live it as fully and completely as I possibly
can. One of the keys of accomplishing this
goal is to keep in mind just how much other people
have done for me, just how much the world offers me,
and just how rich my life actually is already.
I may not have tons of money in the bank, and I may
not have a great deal of material goods, but there
is plenty that I can be grateful for. There
are times when I sit down and write lists of things
for which I'm thankful, and that easy exercise helps
me to realize the richness of my life as it is.
Whatever
we are waiting for--peace of mind, contentment,
grace,
the inner awareness of simple abundance--it will surely
come to us,
but only when we are ready to receive it
with
an open and grateful heart.
Gratitude also,
though, is a force in life. Our gratitude can
help us to attract more positive things and events
in our lives. If we think of it in the
simplest of terms, it's obvious that someone would
be more likely to do us another favor if we simply
say "thank you" for the first favor.
In a like manner, life itself will prove to be more
generous if we feel and show gratitude for the
wonderful things that life gives us to begin
with. But if we're not careful, we can cut off
the world's generosity by being ungrateful, by
taking for granted the things that we have that are
positive in our lives.
It is within our power to be grateful and to show
gratitude. As Pam points out below, there are
many wonderful things to be thankful for in life
that are very simple and very important. If we
can teach ourselves to be satisfied enough with the
simple things that we can be grateful for them, then
we will find ourselves being much, much happier--and
nothing needs to change for this to occur except for
our perspective and our attitude. Our society
tries to tell us that things have to be exceptional
for us to be thankful, and that we'll really be
grateful when we have more of everything.
Sometimes our dissatisfaction is present because
advertisers have convinced us that we should be
dissatisfied if we don't have their products.
The reality is, though, that life is rather
simple. When we learn this rule and understand
it completely, we'll realize that things like a good
cup of coffee, a piece of chocolate when we really
crave it, a hug, a good umbrella when it's raining,
and many, many more simple things are definitely
worthy of our gratitude.
A
bag of apples, a pot of homemade jam, a scribbled note,
a bunch of golden flowers, a coloured pebble, a box of seedlings,
an empty scent bottle for the children. . . . Who needs
diamonds and van-delivered bouquets?
Pam Brown
A sense of
gratitude is within our grasp all the time, though
we often get distracted from it and lose sight of
it. It always is our choice, though, to be
grateful or not. When we are, we do ourselves
and other people in our lives a great favor, for
we're spreading positive energy and helping
ourselves and others to see the world more
brightly. Feeling and showing our gratitude
really is a simple way to give back to this world
that has given so much to us, to contribute to the
life that has provided us with all that we have and
all that we are.
Silence
must be comprehended
as not solely the absence of sound.
It is the
natural environment for
serenity and contemplation. Life
without silence is
life without
privacy. The difference
between
sanity and madness is the quality
of our thoughts. Silence is on
the side of sanity.
Two years ago I gave a gift--larger than one I would
normally do without
asking Seymour, my husband--to a cause I support. I decided I would
balance my unilateral decision by not buying fresh flowers on Friday
afternoon for the next year, a long-standing habit pleasing primarily to
me. "You really can buy flowers," Seymour said when I told him my
plan. "It's fine about the gift. You don't need to balance."
It's been a good practice, though. I pass the
flower shop as I do my
Friday shopping. I stop to admire the display. I watch the
flowers change
with the seasons. Often I feel like buying some. I
listen to my mind
make up reasons: "It's been more than a year now."
"These are so pretty!"
"Tom and Mary are coming for dinner." "I really
should be supporting
the local flower growers." So far, I pass them by. The
important lesson,
one that is still working, happens when I am halfway down the street
and realize that the tug at my heart that was present in front
of the flowers is no longer there. Life is easier without
imperatives.
A life of love is difficult, but it is not a
bleak or unrewarding life.
In
fact, it is the only true human and happy life, for it is filled
with concerns that are as deep as life, as wide as the whole
world,
and as far reaching as eternity.It is only when we have consented
to love, and have agreed
to forget ourselves, that we can find
our fulfillment.This fulfillment will come unperceived and mysterious like
the grace of God, but we will recognize it and it will be
recognized in us.
John Powell
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
