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Today's
Meditation:
Every
once in a while, I'll think of some way that I hurt another
person in the past, and it's like I've gotten smacked in the
head--I suddenly feel a jolt of something akin to shame and
regret and anger at myself. I have to talk myself out
of being mad at myself. After all, I made a mistake,
and life went on. It would serve no purpose for me to
ruin my today because of a memory of something I did wrong
ten or twenty years ago.
I
mention this because I know how easy it can be not to
forgive ourselves, to continue to hold a grudge against
ourselves or to condemn ourselves for some past action or
lack of action. And this inability to forgive
ourselves for our own issues means quite simply that it's
also not possible for us to forgive others for their
so-called "transgressions." And when we
don't truly forgive them, there's always a barrier between
us that keeps us from relating to each other truly and
completely, unfortunately. And we need our connections
with others to make our lives full.
Is
there any aspect of your life for which you still haven't
forgiven yourself? Do you still get mad at yourself
for your mistakes and your problems? Could you be more
understanding and compassionate with yourself? It's
important that you forgive yourself for your own sake, so
that you give yourself a break and face life without the
baggage, but it's even more important for the other people
in your life who would truly benefit from your
forgiveness--the forgiveness that you're holding back
because you haven't forgiven yourself yet.
You
can't give driving lessons unless you drive yourself.
You can't teach someone to play guitar unless you're able to
play. It's very difficult to share love if we don't
feel love. And it's very hard to forgive those who can
benefit from our forgiveness if we haven't yet forgiven
ourselves.
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