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Today's
Meditation:
Friendship
has always been a difficult challenge for me. I grew
up moving constantly, never keeping friends for a long
time. I developed the habit of thinking that no one wanted to be around me, that no
one really wanted to be my friend, that when people were
with me, they were doing me some kind of favor. So
you can imagine just how unsuccessful I've been at making
and keeping friends. I don't feel the same way now
that I'm older, but many of the habits that I developed in
my very early years still stick with me, and they
sometimes keep me from creating and nurturing friendships.
Friends
are a true treasure in this life. Treasures don't
just fall into our laps-- it takes work to find them,
uncover them, and manage them. It may be true that
not all friends have equal value to us, but that may also
be a question of perspective. I may like being with
a certain friend more than with another, but that other
friend may challenge me in ways that are very important
for my development as a human being, and thus being with
that person may be better for me.
Not
all of our acquaintances can be considered to be
friends. We know a lot of people, and some of them
are just better as people we know, rather than as
friends. A friend is a person with whom we have a
special bond, and it can be disastrous to throw around the
term too much. On the other hand, it can be just as
bad not to allow someone to become a friend just because
we're afraid of the commitment or the
responsibility. I want to have friends, but I know
that the number of friends must be manageable. After
all, when a true friend needs me I'll drop everything I
can to be there for them-- and I can't do that for too many
people.
We
can cultivate our friendships just by getting together
every now and then; by sending them a note or a card from
time to time; by checking in on them to see how they are
if we haven't seen them for a while. While we can
spend fantastic times with them, too-- a couple of friends
and I went to run in the Grand Canyon together-- those
times are bonuses, and not at all necessary for a true
friendship. Let's do something positive to help our
friendships to grow and stay strong, and let's do that
today.
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