Marianne's words resonate with me because I do know
people who claim that all of their problems in life come
from the way their parents treated them as kids, and that
they're really not responsible for things going wrong in
their lives now. But when you step back and look at
the way that these people are living their lives, you see
people who are completely self-absorbed, seemingly unable
or unwilling to make changes in their lives that will help
them to lead happier and more fulfilling lives.
And being self-absorbed keeps them from giving love to
others. Being so focused on themselves seems to be a
result of fear and the ego working together, telling them
that they can't give or they'll get hurt, tricking them
cruelly because the fact that they don't give love to
others is hurting them more deeply than any other person
could possibly hurt them if they did take the risk and
extend their love to others on a regular basis.
Extending our love can be a result of an act as simple as
sharing a smile with someone who seems to need to see a
sincere smile. It can be shown in acts such as
encouragement, moral support, compliments, or even silence
if we're just there for someone who needs someone to
listen or to be there with them in times of grief or
loss. In all of these cases, though, we are focused
on someone outside of ourselves, someone else, and not on
our own problems or tribulations. We're aware of the
needs of others and we're showing compassion, and we're
giving from our hearts, not from our pocketbooks (though
sometimes we can show our love that way, too).
We may think that by not extending our love, we're
protecting ourselves from hurt and pain, but the truth is
that by not extending our loves, we're holding ourselves
back, we're keeping ourselves down, for we're not allowing
ourselves to grow and to give, to feel and to share.
Instead of being butterflies who are leaving our cocoons
to become something beautiful and graceful, we're keeping
ourselves locked in without any possibility of becoming
more than we currently are.