often wondered just what George meant by "give up its
secrets." In a way, those words sound intrusive
and pushy, almost disrespectful of a person's right to have
secrets that they don't feel like sharing. But I feel
that he's talking more about getting a person just to open
up, to feel comfortable enough with me to be able to share
what he or she is feeling. And in a world in which so
many people feel isolated and lonely, that kind of sharing
can be very valuable to someone.
had friendships that almost weren't friendships. I
would do things and spend time with these people, but we
never discussed anything deeply. We never shared what
was deeper inside of us, and we never allowed ourselves or
each other to take a chance with each other. These
were very common when I was young.
now I treat my friendships differently. Now I try just
to be there for the other person, to listen and to be open
to whatever he or she says. I try to be understanding
and respectful, and I try to relate on a deeper level.
The result of this is first that I have far fewer friends,
but second that the friends that I do have are able to
"share their secrets" with me in ways that they
wouldn't have been able to before.
just being able to talk and share what we feel is the best
medicine that we can find. It's often better than a
therapist, and it often helps us to find clarity where there
was none before. Do I love people enough?
Probably not, because no one ever taught me how, and I'm
still learning. And I still have a lot to learn.
But I do know that George was right--if we love people
enough, they will give up their secrets. And that's
not always for our benefit, but for theirs.