is another way of looking at our tendency to focus on what
we don't have rather than focusing on what we have right in
front of us. Dale Carnegie spoke of our tendency to
think of all the rose gardens in the world rather than the
roses that are growing right outside our window (a poor
paraphrase, I know!). But much of the time that I
spend with students is taken up with trying to convince them
to look at their accomplishments rather than their failures,
the positives rather than the negatives.
can never go back to other roads in our lives that we chose
not to take, for the roads now are different--they have
changed as we have changed. Even if you decide to do
something now that you wanted to do ten years ago, like go
to college or take a certain vacation, that road isn't the
same as the one that it would have been then. You are
a different person with different experiences behind you,
and your life situation has changed a lot, if only because
you're now ten years older.
are many ways that I could have gone in life in my past,
directions that would have led to a different now for
me. But I honestly don't even think about them any
more, for they're in the past, and they didn't happen.
I am where I am, and I want to make the most out of
that. If I spend my time and energy regretting the
things that I didn't do, how much time and energy will I
have to contribute to today?