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Welcome
to another new week in our lives!
Thanks for sharing this time with us!
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November
4, 2008 |
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Treat
your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in
their best light.
Jennie
Jerome Churchill
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If
we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would
literally astound ourselves.
Thomas
Alva Edison
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If
you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a
hundred days of sorrow.
Chinese
saying
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Speak
when you are angry and you will make the best speech you
will ever regret.
Ambrose
Bierce
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You
May Not Know What Really Matters
Elaine St. James
According to
a recent Time/CNN poll, close to 65 percent of us spend much of our
so-called leisure time doing things we'd rather not do. That
is a staggering statistic, especially when you consider the
incredible number of options that are available to us today.
I think there
are two reasons a lot of us aren't doing the things we really want
to do. First of all, many of us don't know what those things
are.
When I think
back to my hectic lifestyle, I have to admit that one of the reasons
I allowed my life to continue to be so complicated is that I hadn't
slowed down enough in recent years to figure out what I wanted to
do, not only in terms of my work life, but in terms of a lot of my
personal choices.
I knew the
basic things: I knew my husband, and family, and special
friends were important. I knew that for me, spending time in
nature was important. I knew maintaining my health with
exercise and an appropriate diet were important.
But there
were other areas, such as my life's work and many social and leisure
activities, I just sort of drifted along with because it was easier
than taking the time to come up with alternatives.
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For any
number of reasons we lose sight of what we want to do. Perhaps
we weren't encouraged as children to make our own decisions.
Or maybe we
have easygoing, compliant personalities and have gone along with
what other people have wanted to do, or have wanted us to do, for so
long that we've forgotten what's important to us.
Or perhaps we
never allowed ourselves to believe that doing the things we enjoy is
even a possibility for us.
If you've
spent a lot of years not knowing what you really want to do, either
in terms of your career or in terms of your personal, social, civic,
or family life, it can seem like an impossible task to stop what
you've been doing--or at least slow down for a bit--and figure it
out. It often seems easier to keep on doing things we don't
want to do.
Secondly,
what we want to do can often be difficult to do.
For example,
if your deep, dark, hidden desire is to write the great American
novel, it would seemingly require a major disruption in your life to
arrange things so you could even get started on it. Often it's
easier to continue doing things you almost want to do, or don't mind
doing.
So our lives
get frittered away by a social engagement here, a luncheon there, an
evening of television here, or the habit of working evenings or
weekends or both on projects that we don't have all that much
interest in. And the things we really want to do, in our heart
of hearts, get put on the back burner.
One of the
things simplifying your life will do is free up time for you to
figure out what really matters to you, and then enable you to
arrange your time so you can do it.
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Living
the Simple Life.
Elaine St. James
100 simple principles for simplifying life, a process that can
create for you many benefits, such as more free time, less stress,
fewer constant tasks, and many other life-improving results. |
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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Letting
Go vs. Giving Up
Louise Morganti Kaelin
Have you
ever wondered what is the difference between 'letting go'
and 'giving up'? There certainly seems to be a very fine
line between the two. Intuitively, I know there is a
different feeling between the two, but it's only recently
that I was able to understand the essence of that
difference.
For me,
'giving up' is like folding your cards in poker, throwing in
the hand before all the cards are dealt. You stop investing
energy into the project and concede failure at a point way
before the finish line. Like in poker, we usually fold as a
result of fear, uncertainty or a spot-on analysis of the
situation and the likelihood of success. You can usually
tell the difference by how you feel about the 'giving up'
after you've done it. When you feel calm, confident and
free, you can be pretty sure it was based on sound analysis.
There are definitely times when moving on is the appropriate
way to go.
On the
surface, 'letting go' looks the same. What I now understand,
however, is that what I'm actually letting go of is the
attachment to the results, especially the results I decided
the action would have before starting. This process allows
me to play out the hand knowing 'Yes, I might win; Yes, I
might lose' but either way I gain something from the
experience". It also allows me to keep investing energy
into whatever it is.
So often
in life we judge ourselves not by the results of our
actions, but by what we decided in advance the results
'should' be, our expectations. We often speak of others'
expectations of us and how deadly they can be, yet we forget
that we develop expectations as well. In many ways, our own
expectations can be more devastating than someone else's
expectation of us. We may have an initial knee-jerk reaction
to the idea of someone else having expectations, something
inside us that shouts 'No!' even as we try to live up to
them. Unfortunately, our own expectations seem normal and
'right' and we rarely question them.
A long
time ago, I heard an expression that I must admit I don't
remember as consistently as I'd like: Let go and let God.
For me, it's the essence of letting go of my attachment to
the results. I believe (and tell my clients) that it is our
job to figure out what we want, to develop a clear picture
of that and to start moving towards it. It's God's
responsibility to figure out "how". Our actions
send a strong message that we are truly committed to
experiencing whatever our stated goal is. The process is
definitely one of "co-creation".
The next
time you are feeling disappointed about how things are turning
out, here are some questions to help you determine if it's
time to let go:
How have
I defined success in this area?
Where did that definition/number come from?
What is that result supposed to bring me? What feeling?
What other definition/number can bring me that feeling?
What am I learning in the process?
Am I taking all the actions necessary to make this come
true?
Am I willing to let go of my attachment to the results?
Related
Quotations
"The
greatest loss of time is delay and expectation, which depend
upon the future. We let go the present, which we have in our
power, and look forward to that which depends upon chance,
and so relinquish a certainty for an uncertainty." --
Seneca
"Never
think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold
fast; hold out. Patience is genius." -- Comte de Buffon
"Don't
be discouraged by a failure. It can be a positive
experience. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success,
inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to
seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh
experience points out some form of error which we shall
afterwards carefully avoid.." --John Keats
"I
define attachment as an inordinate need to have something
occur in a specific way, at a specific time, in a specific
sequence, etc. and/or an inability to let go of that which
no longer serves. We may become attached to unhealthy
habits, rigid mindsets, negative thinking, defense
strategies, projected schedules, our own plans vs. the plan
of Spirit, the first idea vs. the best idea, etc." --
Neva Howell
©
Louise Morganti Kaelin. Louise is a Life Success Coach
who partners with others to help them turn their dreams into
reality. Phone: 1-617-984-2868 or 1-866-COACH-99
(continental USA) Email: louise@touchpointcoaching.com
Web: http://touchpointcoaching.com
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Keep
Track of Your Results
Jim Rohn
Three
key words to remember: weigh, count and measure. Now,
why weigh, count and measure? To see what your results
are from your activity, your attitude and your
philosophy. If you find that the results are not to
your liking, there are only three places to look. Your
philosophy needs to be fine-tuned; your attitude needs to be
strengthened or your disciplines need extra skill. But
that's it. Activity, attitude and philosophy create
results.
Now -
on results I teach that life expects you to make measurable
progress in reasonable time. But, you must be
reasonable with time. You can't say to someone every
five minutes, how are you doing now? That's too soon
to ask for a count. Guy says, "I haven't left the
building yet, give me a break!" Now you can't
wait five years - that's too long. Too many things can
go wrong waiting too long for a count to see how you're
doing.
Here
are some good time frames:
Number
one - at the end of the day. You can't let more than a
day go by without looking at some things and making
progress. New Testament says - if you are angry, try
to solve it before the sun goes down. Don't carry
anger for another day. It may be too heavy to
carry. If you try to carry it for a week, it may drop
you to your knees. So some things you must get done in a
day.
Here's
the next one - a week. We ask for an accounting of the
week so we can issue the pay. And whatever you've got
coming that's what you get; when the week is over. Now in
business there are two things to check in the course of the
week: your activity count and your productivity
count. Because activity leads to productivity we need
to count both to see how we're doing.
My
mentor taught me that success is a numbers game and very
early he started asking me my numbers. He asked,
"How many books have you read in the last ninety
days?" I said, "Zero"; he said, "Not a
good number." He said, "How many classes
have you attended in the last six months to improve your
skills?" And I said, "Zero." He
said, "Not a good number." Then he said,
"In the last six years that you've been working, how
much money have you saved and invested?" I said,
"Zero" and he said, "Not a good
number." Then here's what he said, "Mr. Rohn,
if these numbers don't change your life won't change.
But," he said, "If you'll start improving these
numbers then perhaps you'll start to see everything change
for you."
Success
and results are a numbers game. John joins this little sales
company. He's supposed to make 10 calls the first week
just to get acquainted with the territory. So on
Friday we call him in and say what? "How many
calls?" He says, "Well." You say,
"John, 'well' won't fit in the little box here. I need
a number." Now he starts with a story. And you
say, "John, the reason I made this little box so
small is so a story won't fit. All I need is a number
because if you give us the number we're so brilliant around
here we could guess the story." It's the numbers
that count. Making measurable progress in reasonable time.
Here's
the best accounting: The accounting you make of
yourself. Don't wait for the government to do it,
don't wait for the company to do it. But you've got to
add up some of your own numbers and ask, "Am I
making the progress I want and will it take me where I want
to go now and in the future?" You be the judge!
©
Jim Rohn International. Reproduced with permission
from the Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine. Subscribe at:
www.jimrohn.com or send an email with Join in the subject
to: mailto:subscribe@jimrohn.com
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Visit our new bookstore,
which is full
of inspirational and motivational material.
We'd also appreciate any suggestions you might have of what
to stock it with--please visit our feedback
page to make recommendations! |
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Most
of my major disappointments have turned out
to be blessings in disguise. So whenever anything bad
happens to me, I kind of sit back and feel, well, if I give
this enough time, it'll turn out that this was good,
so I shan't worry about it too much.
William
Gaines |
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When you have too much
month
for your paycheck,
then what
you need to do is
realize
that there is abundance
all around
you, and focus on
the
abundance and not your
lack and
as night follows
day
abundance will come to you.
Sidney Madwed
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Still
Don't Know What You Want to Be When You "Grow Up"?
Here Are Three Ways to Find Out
Valerie Young
If
you’re well into your career but still aren't really sure
what you want to be “when you grow up,” join the
mid-life career crisis club! Here are three ways to help you
discover your heart's content.
1.
Forget skill sets, think satisfaction.
In her
book, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, career
guru Barbara Sher points out that finding your passion is
more than just figuring out what you're good at. Reflecting
on her own life as a single parent, Sher realized she was
clearly “skilled” at raising two children and managing a
home on a tight budget. But did she love it? “You live the
good life not by doing what you can do,” Sher learned,
“but by doing what you want to do.”
2. Pay
attention to both past and present-day clues.
In his
famous interview with Bill Moyers, renowned mythology
scholar Joseph Campbell said, “The way to find out about
your happiness, is to keep your mind on those moments when
you feel most happy, when you are really happy – not
excited, not just thrilled, but deeply happy.”
The
first place to search for clues to your present day passion
is in your own childhood. I once read about a man who, as a
young boy, loved to make sand castles. Guess what he does for
a living now? He runs a company that travels around the
world making elaborate sand sculptures for ocean-side
special events!
What
about today? What so engrosses you that you scarcely notice
the time? Is it watching NASCAR racing? Gardening? Tinkering
with a broken toaster? Surfing the Internet? Exploring a
museum? Traveling? Helping a friend work through a problem?
Tracing your family history? Organizing a closet? Working
with children? Get a small pad of paper or dedicate a
section of your organizer to your passion. As something new
hits you, add it to the list.
Still
stumped? Try making up your own “I’d rather
be__________” bumper sticker. Would you rather be
following sports, writing poetry, gardening, shopping,
fixing things, fishing, watching reruns of your favorite
childhood shows?
3.
Enlarge your view.
One of
the best way to expand your thinking – and your options
– is by stepping outside the confines of your day-to-day
life. Consider signing up for a class on something entirely
new to you like bookbinding, feng shui, woodworking,
cooking, copywriting, small engine, or computer repair.
Try
reading publications outside your typical areas of interest
or expertise. If you usually stick to news or women’s
magazines, pick up a copy of National Geographic, Antiques
Monthly or Down Beat. Even if you don’t read a
single article the advertisements alone will open your eyes
to a multitude of fascinating ways to earn a living.
And
remember, “When you love what you do,” says author and
management guru Harvey McKay, “you'll never have to work a
day in your life.”
Valerie
Young is Dreamer-in-Residence at www.ChangingCourse.com,
an on-line resource dedicated to helping you find your life
mission and live it featuring the new e-Book, Finding Your
True Calling. Her career change tips have appeared in such
publications as The Wall Street Journal, USA Weekend, The
Guardian [London], Reader's Digest, and Redbook, and online
at MSN, Careerbuilder, and iVillage. Valerie specializes in
helping her clients come up with creative alternatives to
having a j-o-b. |
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