30 September 2008

  
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

People are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinions of the things that happen.

Epictetus

You have to accept whatever
comes, and the only important
thing is that you meet it with
the best you have to give.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Self-love in not only necessary and good, it is a prerequisite for loving others.

Rollo May

   

Hello again, and welcome to our newest issue!  We thank you for
dropping by today, and we hope that the time that you spend here
is well worth your while.  Please enjoy the issue. . . .

Suffering Is Not Enough (an excerpt)
Thich Nhat Hanh

How to Notice and Follow the Light
Julie Jordan Scott

Associate with Positive People
Jeff Keller

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Suffering Is Not Enough (an excerpt)
Thich Nhat Hanh

Life is filled with suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby. To suffer is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere, any time. If we are not happy, if we are not peaceful, we cannot share peace and happiness with others, even those we love, those who live under the same roof. If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.

Do we need to make a special effort to enjoy the beauty of the blue sky? Do we have to practice to be able to enjoy it? No, we just enjoy it. Each second, each minute of our lives can be like this. Wherever we are, any time, we have the capacity to enjoy the sunshine, the presence of each other, even the sensation of our breathing. We don't need to go to China to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to travel into the future to enjoy our breathing. We can be in touch with these things right now. It would be a pity if we are only aware of suffering.

We are so busy we hardly have time to look at the people we love, even in our own household, and to look at ourselves. Society is organized in a way that even when we have some leisure time, we don't know how to use it to get back in touch with ourselves.  We have millions of ways to lose this precious time – we turn on the TV or pick up the telephone, or start the car and go somewhere. We are not used to being with ourselves, and we act as if we don't like ourselves and are trying to escape from ourselves.

Meditation is to be aware of what is going on – in our bodies, in our feelings, in our minds, and in the world. Each day 40,000 children die of hunger. The superpowers now have more than 50,000 nuclear warheads, enough to destroy our planet many times. Yet the sunrise is beautiful, and the rose that bloomed this morning along the wall is a miracle. Life is both dreadful and wonderful To practice meditation is to be in touch with both aspects.

Please do not think we must be solemn in order to meditate. In fact, to meditate well, we have to smile a lot.  Recently I was sitting with a group of children, and a boy named Tim was smiling beautifully. I said, "Tim, you have a very beautiful smile," and he said, "Thank you." I told him, "You don't have to thank me, I have to thank you. Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful. Instead of saying, 'Thank you,' you should say 'You're welcome.'"

If a child smiles, if an adult smiles, that is very important. If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work. When I see Tim smiling, I am so happy. If he is aware that he is making other people happy, he can say, "You are welcome."

* * *

From time to time, to remind ourselves to relax, to be peaceful, we may wish to set aside some time for a retreat, a day of mindfulness, when we can walk slowly, smile, drink tea with a friend, enjoy being together as if we are the happiest people on Earth. This is not a retreat, it is a treat. During walking meditation, during kitchen and garden work, during sitting meditation, all day long, we can practice smiling. At first you may find it difficult to smile, and we have to think about why. Smiling means that we are ourselves, that we have sovereignty over ourselves, that we are not drowned into forgetfulness. This kind of smile can be seen on the faces of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

I would like to offer one short poem you can recite from time to time, while breathing and smiling:

Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.

"Breathing in, I calm my body.” This line is like drinking a glass of ice water – you feel the cold, the freshness, permeate your body. When I breathe in and recite this line, I actually feel the breathing calming my body, calming my mind. "Breathing out, I smile." You know the effect of a smile. A smile can relax hundreds of muscles in your face, and relax your nervous system. A smile makes you master of yourself. That is why Buddhas and Bodhisattvas are always smiling. When you smile, you realize the wonder of the smile.

"Dwelling in the present moment." While I sit here, I don't think of somewhere else, of the future or the past. I sit here, and I know where I am. This is very important. We tend to be alive in the future, not now. We say, "Wait until I finish school and get my Ph.D. degree, and then I will be really alive." When we have it, and it's not easy to get, we say to ourselves, "I have to wait until I have a job in order to be really alive." And then after the job, a car. After the car, a house. We are not capable of being alive in the present moment. We tend to postpone being alive to the future, the distant future, we don't know when. Now is not the moment to be alive. We may never be alive at all in our entire life. Therefore, the technique, if we have to speak of a technique, is to be in the present moment, to be aware that we are here and now, and the only moment to be alive is the present moment.

"I know this is a wonderful moment." This is the only moment that is real. To be here and now, and enjoy the present moment is our most important task. "Calming, Smiling, Present moment, Wonderful moment." I hope you will try it.

* * *

Even though life is hard, even though it is sometimes difficult to smile, we have to try. Just as when we wish each other, "Good morning," it must be a real "Good morning." Recently, one friend asked me, "How can I force myself to smile when I am filled with sorrow? It isn't natural." I told her she must be able to smile to her sorrow, because we are more than our sorrow. A human being is like a television set with millions of channels. If we turn the Buddha on, we are the Buddha. If we turn sorrow on, we are sorrow. If we turn a smile on, we really are the smile. We cannot let just one channel dominate us. We have the seed of everything in us, and we have to seize the situation in our hand, to recover our own sovereignty.

When we sit down peacefully, breathing and smiling, with awareness, we are our true selves, we have sovereignty over ourselves. When we open ourselves up to a TV program, we let ourselves be invaded by the program. Sometimes it is good, but often it is just noisy. Because we want to have something other than ourselves enter us, we sit there and let a noisy TV program invade us, assail us, destroy us. Even if our nervous system suffers, we don't have the courage to stand up and turn it off because if we do that, we will have to return to our self.

Meditation is the opposite. It helps us return to our true self. Practicing meditation in this kind of society is very difficult. Everything seems to work in concert to try to take us away from our true self. We have thousands of things, like video tapes and music, which help us be away from ourselves. Practicing meditation is to be aware, to smile, to breathe. These are on the opposite side. We go back to ourselves in order to see what is going on, because to meditate means to be aware of what is going on. What is going on is very important.

Children understand very well that in each woman, in each man, there is a capacity of waking up, of understanding, and of loving. Many children have told me that they cannot show me anyone who does not have this capacity. Some people allow it to develop, and some do not, but everyone has it. This capacity of waking up, of being aware of what is going on in your feelings, in your body, in your perceptions, in the world, is called Buddha nature, the capacity of understanding and loving. . . .

Smiling is very important. If we are not able to smile, then the world will not have peace. It is not by going out for a demonstration against nuclear missiles that we can bring about peace. It is with our capacity of smiling, breathing, and being peace that we can make peace.
  
 

In this short treatise, Vietnamese Buddhist monk Hanh continues the ecumenical dialogue he began in 1995's Living Buddha, Living Christ.  The chapters evolved from talks he gave at Plum Village, Hanh's Buddhist retreat center located in the heart of Christian France.  In ecumenical fashion, Hanh does not encourage conversion to Buddhism or any other religion but tells followers to bloom where they're planted, cultivating a "mindfulness" in their own religious traditions.

   
   

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How to Notice and Follow the Light
Julie Jordan Scott

I noticed it this morning as it called to me from outside my window once again.  The unusual phenomenon has stalked me ever since I scribed the following words in my notebook this morning, “Clouds so dense a knife could cut through them.”

The haggard elm tree in my back yard is illuminated as if from a stage light. It is a beacon contained in dried up bark, looking like a sapless, leafless wonder.  It glows in satisfaction, a solitary light in a dungeon of a murky, gray day.

This stalker is not stationary nor is it imbued only in my backyard elm.  I saw it in my neighbors' oak tree as I tried, albeit poorly, to carry on a telephone conversation.

Once again it appeared in the timid rainbow which stretched across the sky, begging me to harness its appearance in words.

Glowing, orb-like, fire, reflective, embers, radiant, mirror.

A moment of truth within the sometimes foggy journey, a marker that says “Keep going, you’re almost there!” like the ubiquitous road side markers beckoning you to “Eat at Mel’s Diner only 287 miles to go!” and another with “only 249 miles to go” “only 178 to go” “only 121 to go” “only 42” “only 4” “only 2” all the way to the destination which guide hungry travelers to a warm and hopefully tasty meal.

If you are not hungry, you don’t notice the signs.

Just as if I wasn’t alert to life, I wouldn’t notice the beckoning from my tree, the neighbor’s tree, the rainbow and who-knows-where-it-will-show-next?

What is intriguing me today is this:  as I allow myself to “be stalked” by this beckoning light that I see in surprising places, I also allow myself to grow beyond my current place of comfort:  my “normal for this moment.”

I am dealing with some pretty uncomfortable stuff right now.

In that uncomfortable stuff I remain incredibly optimistic for several reasons.  I trust the light I see in the tree, in the rainbow, in my backyard.  I trust that the feeling, the experience, the noticing that I can’t even put into words very fully is where the truth lies.  It doesn’t live in the vague--and occasionally not-so-vague--fright which most closely resembles a bird of prey circling and swooping, circling and swooping, circling and swooping.

If I stayed inside the confines of the house, I would never experience that circling-swooping bird.

If you stay inside the confines of anything for too long, you will become stuck.  You will soon block out the vision of the light, not feel the glow and disengage from anything except being stuck.

Let’s check in for a moment.

As you read these words, you may feel a tug at your heart.  You might remember a time when you saw something you can’t quite put into words which called to you.  You might just notice an unnamed physical emptiness.  You might know what those circling, swooping birds smell like or the panic which sets in as you see one heading towards you.

The good news is this:  it’s simple to move beyond the “being inside the stuck” place.  The even better news is you can start today by following these simple steps:

1.  Pursue a practice or ritual which fills you with passion, even if at first you are not sure what or why or how or even if you desire to do that practice or ritual.  Without trying it on over several days you will never know.  Notice when my glowing, evocative experience began?  AFTER I wrote in my morning pages “Clouds so dense a knife could cut through them.”

2.  Stretch beyond your abilities every day so that you become comfortable with being a little uncomfortable with the intent to feel absolutely incredible as a result.

3.  Follow your glow, the light in the midst of the darkness, the rhythmic beckoning call to whatever and wherever it goes without concerning yourself with “the details."  Those details will come as you continue with repeating steps one and two.


Julie Jordan Scott used to bring inspirational action and creativity into the everyday lives of her online readers at 5passions.com, a website that sadly no longer exists.

  
   

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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

Dr. Seuss

   
Associate With Positive People
Jeff Keller

Have you ever heard the phrase, "We become part of what we are around"?  Have you given much thought to how this principle has been molding and shaping your life?  It's worth thinking about.  The people you associate with have a profound affect on how you feel and what you'll ultimately achieve.

I'm sure most of you have heard this principle before.  Some of you have heard it a hundred times.  But this is one of those areas where there is a large gap between theory and practice.  In other words, you know it's important to limit involvement with negative people, yet you continue to hang around with them.

By the way, I'm not talking about your relationship with your spouse or significant other.  I'm referring to discretionary relationships, both at work and in your leisure hours.

In today's literature, we frequently see the terms toxic people and nourishing people.  As you might expect, toxic people are the ones who always dwell on the negative.  The dictionary defines toxic as "poisonous" toxic people continually spew their verbal poison.  In contrast, the dictionary definition of nourishing is "to nurture or promote the growth of."  Nourishing people are positive and supportive.  They lift your spirits and are a joy to be around.

Negative people will always drag you down to their level.  They hammer away at you with all of the things you can't do and all of the things that are impossible.  They barrage you with gloomy statements about the lousy economy, the problems in their lives, the problems soon to be in your life, and the terrible prospects for the future.  If you're lucky, they might even throw in a few words about their aches and pains and recent illnesses.

After listening to toxic people, you feel listless, depressed and drained.  Psychologist Jack Canfield describes them as "energy vampires" -- they suck all the positive energy out of you.  One thing is certain: these "vampires" will wear you down and kill your dreams.

On the other hand, how do you feel when you are around people who are positive, enthusiastic and supportive?  I'll bet that you are encouraged and inspired.  You start to pick up their attitude, and you feel as if you have added strength to vigorously pursue your own goals.

If you had a choice, wouldn't you rather hang out with nourishing people?  Well, in fact, you DO have a choice.  It's up to you to determine who you spend your time with.  If toxic people surround you in your daily life, you can do something about it.

To begin with, develop friendships and associations with people who are positive and supportive.  In addition, seek out people who are action-oriented and service-oriented.  As you spend more and more time in the company of people who have these traits, you, too, will develop the same successful characteristics and put them to use in your life.

Consider who you have been spending your time with.  Examine your friendships and relationships at work and during your leisure hours.  Those who occupy your time have a significant impact on your most priceless possession. . . your mind!  It is your responsibility to regulate what you allow into your mind.

Here are some steps you can take to be more responsible in this area:

* If you regularly have lunch with toxic people at work, stop it.  You should be able to find a diplomatic way of extricating yourself from this "poisonous" group.

* If you have a toxic relative (which could be your mother, father, son or daughter), it is important to put some limits on your involvement with them.  This does not mean that you abandon this relative and never speak to him or her.  However, you should not go out of your way to call that person several times each day if he or she is going to put you down or fill the conversation with negative remarks.

* Form your own positive group with friends or colleagues.   Make a commitment to meet with these people on a regular basis (e.g., once a week or once a month) to discuss goals, exchange ideas and offer support.  These should be people who accept you as you are and yet challenge you to be the best that you can be.

In case you're wondering, I'm in favor of trying to help friends who are negative.  I think we should make efforts to steer them in a more positive direction.  But if we've been trying for the last nine years and the person insists on being negative, maybe it's time to severely limit the amount of time we spend with that person--or to stop spending any time with that individual.

As you increase your associations with nourishing people, you will feel better about yourself and about your ability to achieve your goals.  You'll become a more positive, upbeat person--the kind of person others love to be around.  I used to think that it was important to associate with positive people and to limit involvement with negative people.  Now, I believe that it is essential if you want to be a high-achiever and a happy individual.

By the way, as you continue to associate with positive people, the law of attraction starts to kick in.  That law states that LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.  When you are positive, you'll attract more positive people into your life.  Of course, if you are NEGATIVE, you'll attract negative people.

So, surround yourself with positive, nourishing people--they will lift you up the ladder of success.
   

Jeff Keller is the President of Attitude is Everything, Inc.  For more than 17 years, Jeff has delivered presentations on attitude and motivation to businesses, groups and trade associations throughout the United States and abroad. Jeff is also the author of the highly acclaimed book, Attitude is Everything.  For more information, go to http://www.attitudeiseverything.com

   

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A Course in MiraclesImagine a life based on forgiveness of self and others ... a life based on shedding fear and accepting love ... resulting in a life of true inner peace. That’s precisely what thousands of people are attaining through the study of this program.

   

There is in every person something
that waits and listens for the
sound of the genuine in herself.
This is your assignment. . . . can
you find a way to hear the
sound of the genuine in yourself?

Howard Therman

  

  
Autumn. . . makes a double demand.  It asks that we prepare
for the future--that we be wise in the ways of garnering and keeping.
But it also asks that we learn to let go--to acknowledge
the beauty of sparseness.

Bonaro W. Overstreet
  

Don't forget to visit our page dedicated to this beautiful season!
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Why Not You?
Steve Maraboli

Today, many will awaken with a fresh
sense of inspiration. Why not you?

Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty
that surrounds them. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday
behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?

Today, many will break through the barriers of the past
by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?

Today, for many the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be
lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. Why not you?

Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and
make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they
will be a positive role model for their children. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to free themselves from the
personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you?

Today, many will choose to live free of conditions
and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?

Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?

Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and they
will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why not you?

Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim mentality,
but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why not you?

Today, many will take the action
necessary to make a difference. Why not you?

Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother, father, son, daughter,
student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, & so much more. Why not you?

Today is a new day!

Many will seize this day.

Many will live it to the fullest.

Why not you?

A renowned Speaker, Writer, National Radio Show Host, and Personal Coach,
Steve Maraboli has risen to national prominence by delivering highly
penetrating speeches and effective programs that help people shake
off mediocrity, destroy personal barriers, and live up to their greatest
potential. His words have helped countless people across the globe
align themselves with happiness and create a mindset that
attracts success and excellence.  Steve has dedicated his life to the
understanding of achievement, empowerment, and personal enhancement.
Visit his website at stevemaraboli.com.

   

   

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