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30
September 2008 |
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| Let
the refining and improving of your own life keep you so
busy that you have little time to criticize others.
H.
Jackson Brown, Jr.
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People
are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their
opinions of the things that happen.
Epictetus
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You
have to accept whatever
comes, and the only important
thing is that you meet it with
the best you have to give.
Eleanor
Roosevelt
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Self-love
in not only necessary and good, it is a prerequisite for
loving others.
Rollo
May |
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Suffering
Is Not Enough (an excerpt)
Thich Nhat Hanh
Life is filled with
suffering, but it is also filled with many wonders, like
the blue sky, the sunshine, the eyes of a baby. To suffer
is not enough. We must also be in touch with the wonders
of life. They are within us and all around us, everywhere,
any time. If we are not happy, if we are not peaceful, we
cannot share peace and happiness with others, even those
we love, those who live under the same roof. If we are
peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a
flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society,
will benefit from our peace.
Do we need to make a
special effort to enjoy the beauty of the blue sky? Do we
have to practice to be able to enjoy it? No, we just enjoy
it. Each second, each minute of our lives can be like
this. Wherever we are, any time, we have the capacity to
enjoy the sunshine, the presence of each other, even the
sensation of our breathing. We don't need to go to China
to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to travel into the
future to enjoy our breathing. We can be in touch with
these things right now. It would be a pity if we are only
aware of suffering.
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We are so busy we hardly
have time to look at the people we love, even in our own
household, and to look at ourselves. Society is organized
in a way that even when we have some leisure time, we
don't know how to use it to get back in touch with
ourselves. We have millions of ways to lose this
precious time – we turn on the TV or pick up the
telephone, or start the car and go somewhere. We are not
used to being with ourselves, and we act as if we don't
like ourselves and are trying to escape from ourselves.
Meditation is to be aware
of what is going on – in our bodies, in our feelings, in
our minds, and in the world. Each day 40,000 children die
of hunger. The superpowers now have more than 50,000
nuclear warheads, enough to destroy our planet many times.
Yet the sunrise is beautiful, and the rose that bloomed
this morning along the wall is a miracle. Life is both
dreadful and wonderful To practice meditation is to be in
touch with both aspects.
Please do not think we must
be solemn in order to meditate. In fact, to meditate well,
we have to smile a lot. Recently I was sitting with
a group of children, and a boy named Tim was smiling
beautifully. I said, "Tim, you have a very beautiful
smile," and he said, "Thank you." I told
him, "You don't have to thank me, I have to thank
you. Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.
Instead of saying, 'Thank you,' you should say 'You're
welcome.'"
If a child smiles, if an
adult smiles, that is very important. If in our daily life
we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only
we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most
basic kind of peace work. When I see Tim smiling, I am so
happy. If he is aware that he is making other people
happy, he can say, "You are welcome."
* * *
From time to time, to
remind ourselves to relax, to be peaceful, we may wish to
set aside some time for a retreat, a day of mindfulness,
when we can walk slowly, smile, drink tea with a friend,
enjoy being together as if we are the happiest people on
Earth. This is not a retreat, it is a treat. During
walking meditation, during kitchen and garden work, during
sitting meditation, all day long, we can practice smiling.
At first you may find it difficult to smile, and we have
to think about why. Smiling means that we are ourselves,
that we have sovereignty over ourselves, that we are not
drowned into forgetfulness. This kind of smile can be seen
on the faces of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.
I would like to offer one
short poem you can recite from time to time, while
breathing and smiling:
Breathing in, I calm my
body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.
"Breathing in, I calm
my body.” This line is like drinking a glass of ice
water – you feel the cold, the freshness, permeate your
body. When I breathe in and recite this line, I actually
feel the breathing calming my body, calming my mind.
"Breathing out, I smile." You know the effect of
a smile. A smile can relax hundreds of muscles in your
face, and relax your nervous system. A smile makes you
master of yourself. That is why Buddhas and Bodhisattvas
are always smiling. When you smile, you realize the wonder
of the smile.
"Dwelling in the
present moment." While I sit here, I don't think of
somewhere else, of the future or the past. I sit here, and
I know where I am. This is very important. We tend to be
alive in the future, not now. We say, "Wait until I
finish school and get my Ph.D. degree, and then I will be
really alive." When we have it, and it's not easy to
get, we say to ourselves, "I have to wait until I
have a job in order to be really alive." And then
after the job, a car. After the car, a house. We are not
capable of being alive in the present moment. We tend to
postpone being alive to the future, the distant future, we
don't know when. Now is not the moment to be alive. We may
never be alive at all in our entire life. Therefore, the
technique, if we have to speak of a technique, is to be in
the present moment, to be aware that we are here and now,
and the only moment to be alive is the present moment.
"I know this is a
wonderful moment." This is the only moment that is
real. To be here and now, and enjoy the present moment is
our most important task. "Calming, Smiling, Present
moment, Wonderful moment." I hope you will try it.
* * *
Even though life is hard,
even though it is sometimes difficult to smile, we have to
try. Just as when we wish each other, "Good
morning," it must be a real "Good morning."
Recently, one friend asked me, "How can I force
myself to smile when I am filled with sorrow? It isn't
natural." I told her she must be able to smile to her
sorrow, because we are more than our sorrow. A human being
is like a television set with millions of channels. If we
turn the Buddha on, we are the Buddha. If we turn sorrow
on, we are sorrow. If we turn a smile on, we really are
the smile. We cannot let just one channel dominate us. We
have the seed of everything in us, and we have to seize
the situation in our hand, to recover our own sovereignty.
When we sit down
peacefully, breathing and smiling, with awareness, we are
our true selves, we have sovereignty over ourselves. When
we open ourselves up to a TV program, we let ourselves be
invaded by the program. Sometimes it is good, but often it
is just noisy. Because we want to have something other
than ourselves enter us, we sit there and let a noisy TV
program invade us, assail us, destroy us. Even if our
nervous system suffers, we don't have the courage to stand
up and turn it off because if we do that, we will have to
return to our self.
Meditation is the opposite.
It helps us return to our true self. Practicing meditation
in this kind of society is very difficult. Everything
seems to work in concert to try to take us away from our
true self. We have thousands of things, like video tapes
and music, which help us be away from ourselves.
Practicing meditation is to be aware, to smile, to
breathe. These are on the opposite side. We go back to
ourselves in order to see what is going on, because to
meditate means to be aware of what is going on. What is
going on is very important.
Children understand very
well that in each woman, in each man, there is a capacity
of waking up, of understanding, and of loving. Many
children have told me that they cannot show me anyone who
does not have this capacity. Some people allow it to
develop, and some do not, but everyone has it. This
capacity of waking up, of being aware of what is going on
in your feelings, in your body, in your perceptions, in
the world, is called Buddha nature, the capacity of
understanding and loving. . . .
Smiling is very important.
If we are not able to smile, then the world will not have
peace. It is not by going out for a demonstration against
nuclear missiles that we can bring about peace. It is with
our capacity of smiling, breathing, and being peace that
we can make peace.
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In
this short treatise, Vietnamese Buddhist monk
Hanh continues the ecumenical dialogue he
began in 1995's Living Buddha, Living
Christ. The chapters evolved from
talks he gave at Plum Village, Hanh's Buddhist
retreat center located in the heart of
Christian France. In ecumenical fashion,
Hanh does not encourage conversion to Buddhism
or any other religion but tells followers to
bloom where they're planted, cultivating a
"mindfulness" in their own religious
traditions. |
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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How
to Notice and Follow the Light
Julie Jordan Scott
I
noticed it this morning as it called to me from outside my
window once again. The unusual phenomenon has
stalked me ever since I scribed the following words in my
notebook this morning, “Clouds so dense a knife could
cut through them.”
The
haggard elm tree in my back yard is illuminated as if from
a stage light. It is a beacon contained in dried up bark,
looking like a sapless, leafless wonder. It glows in
satisfaction, a solitary light in a dungeon of a murky,
gray day.
This
stalker is not stationary nor is it imbued only in my
backyard elm. I saw it in my neighbors' oak tree as
I tried, albeit poorly, to carry on a telephone
conversation.
Once
again it appeared in the timid rainbow which stretched
across the sky, begging me to harness its appearance in
words.
Glowing,
orb-like, fire, reflective, embers, radiant, mirror.
A
moment of truth within the sometimes foggy journey, a
marker that says “Keep going, you’re almost there!”
like the ubiquitous road side markers beckoning you to
“Eat at Mel’s Diner only 287 miles to go!” and
another with “only 249 miles to go” “only 178 to
go” “only 121 to go” “only 42” “only 4”
“only 2” all the way to the destination which guide
hungry travelers to a warm and hopefully tasty meal.
If
you are not hungry, you don’t notice the signs.
Just
as if I wasn’t alert to life, I wouldn’t notice the
beckoning from my tree, the neighbor’s tree, the rainbow
and who-knows-where-it-will-show-next?
What
is intriguing me today is this: as I allow myself to
“be stalked” by this beckoning light that I see in
surprising places, I also allow myself to grow beyond my
current place of comfort: my “normal for this
moment.”
I
am dealing with some pretty uncomfortable stuff right now.
In
that uncomfortable stuff I remain incredibly optimistic
for several reasons. I trust the light I see in the
tree, in the rainbow, in my backyard. I trust that
the feeling, the experience, the noticing that I can’t
even put into words very fully is where the truth
lies. It doesn’t live in the vague--and
occasionally not-so-vague--fright which most closely
resembles a bird of prey circling and swooping, circling
and swooping, circling and swooping.
If
I stayed inside the confines of the house, I would never
experience that circling-swooping bird.
If
you stay inside the confines of anything for too long, you
will become stuck. You will soon block out the
vision of the light, not feel the glow and disengage from
anything except being stuck.
Let’s
check in for a moment.
As
you read these words, you may feel a tug at your
heart. You might remember a time when you saw
something you can’t quite put into words which called to
you. You might just notice an unnamed physical
emptiness. You might know what those circling,
swooping birds smell like or the panic which sets in as
you see one heading towards you.
The
good news is this: it’s simple to move beyond the
“being inside the stuck” place. The even better
news is you can start today by following these simple
steps:
1.
Pursue a practice or ritual which fills you with passion,
even if at first you are not sure what or why or how or
even if you desire to do that practice or ritual.
Without trying it on over several days you will never
know. Notice when my glowing, evocative experience
began? AFTER I wrote in my morning pages “Clouds
so dense a knife could cut through them.”
2.
Stretch beyond your abilities every day so that you become
comfortable with being a little uncomfortable with the
intent to feel absolutely incredible as a result.
3.
Follow your glow, the light in the midst of the darkness,
the rhythmic beckoning call to whatever and wherever it
goes without concerning yourself with “the
details." Those details will come as you
continue with repeating steps one and two.
Julie
Jordan Scott used to bring inspirational action and
creativity into the everyday lives of her online readers
at 5passions.com, a website that sadly no longer exists. |
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Our
bookstore is full
of inspirational and motivational material.
We'd also appreciate any suggestions you might have of what
to stock it with--please visit our feedback
page to make recommendations! |
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Be
who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind
don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.
Dr.
Seuss |
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Associate
With Positive People
Jeff Keller
Have you ever heard the phrase, "We become part of
what we are around"? Have you given much
thought to how this principle has been molding and shaping
your life? It's worth thinking about. The
people you associate with have a profound affect on how
you feel and what you'll ultimately achieve.
I'm sure most of you have heard this principle
before. Some of you have heard it a hundred
times. But this is one of those areas where there is
a large gap between theory and practice. In other
words, you know it's important to limit involvement with
negative people, yet you continue to hang around with
them.
By the way, I'm not talking about your relationship with
your spouse or significant other. I'm referring to
discretionary relationships, both at work and in your
leisure hours.
In today's literature, we frequently see the terms toxic
people and nourishing people. As you might expect,
toxic people are the ones who always dwell on the
negative. The dictionary defines toxic as
"poisonous" toxic people continually spew their
verbal poison. In contrast, the dictionary
definition of nourishing is "to nurture or promote
the growth of." Nourishing people are positive
and supportive. They lift your spirits and are a joy
to be around.
Negative people will always drag you down to their
level. They hammer away at you with all of the
things you can't do and all of the things that are
impossible. They barrage you with gloomy statements
about the lousy economy, the problems in their lives, the
problems soon to be in your life, and the terrible
prospects for the future. If you're lucky, they
might even throw in a few words about their aches and
pains and recent illnesses.
After listening to toxic people, you feel listless,
depressed and drained. Psychologist Jack Canfield
describes them as "energy vampires" -- they suck
all the positive energy out of you. One thing is
certain: these "vampires" will wear you down and
kill your dreams.
On the other hand, how do you feel when you are around
people who are positive, enthusiastic and
supportive? I'll bet that you are encouraged and
inspired. You start to pick up their attitude, and
you feel as if you have added strength to vigorously
pursue your own goals.
If you had a choice, wouldn't you rather hang out with
nourishing people? Well, in fact, you DO have a
choice. It's up to you to determine who you spend
your time with. If toxic people surround you in your
daily life, you can do something about it.
To begin with, develop friendships and associations with
people who are positive and supportive. In addition,
seek out people who are action-oriented and
service-oriented. As you spend more and more time in
the company of people who have these traits, you, too,
will develop the same successful characteristics and put
them to use in your life.
Consider who you have been spending your time with.
Examine your friendships and relationships at work and
during your leisure hours. Those who occupy your
time have a significant impact on your most priceless
possession. . . your mind! It is your responsibility
to regulate what you allow into your mind.
Here are some steps you can take to be more responsible in
this area:
* If you regularly have lunch with toxic people at work,
stop it. You should be able to find a diplomatic way
of extricating yourself from this "poisonous"
group.
* If you have a toxic relative (which could be your
mother, father, son or daughter), it is important to put
some limits on your involvement with them. This does
not mean that you abandon this relative and never speak to
him or her. However, you should not go out of your
way to call that person several times each day if he or
she is going to put you down or fill the conversation with
negative remarks.
* Form your own positive group with friends or
colleagues. Make a commitment to meet with
these people on a regular basis (e.g., once a week or once
a month) to discuss goals, exchange ideas and offer
support. These should be people who accept you as
you are and yet challenge you to be the best that you can
be.
In case you're wondering, I'm in favor of trying to help
friends who are negative. I think we should make
efforts to steer them in a more positive direction.
But if we've been trying for the last nine years and the
person insists on being negative, maybe it's time to
severely limit the amount of time we spend with that
person--or to stop spending any time with that individual.
As you increase your associations with nourishing people,
you will feel better about yourself and about your ability
to achieve your goals. You'll become a more
positive, upbeat person--the kind of person others love to
be around. I used to think that it was important to
associate with positive people and to limit involvement
with negative people. Now, I believe that it is
essential if you want to be a high-achiever and a happy
individual.
By the way, as you continue to associate with positive
people, the law of attraction starts to kick in.
That law states that LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. When you
are positive, you'll attract more positive people into
your life. Of course, if you are NEGATIVE, you'll
attract negative people.
So, surround yourself with positive, nourishing
people--they will lift you up the ladder of success.
Jeff
Keller is the President of Attitude is Everything, Inc.
For more than 17 years, Jeff has delivered presentations
on attitude and motivation to businesses, groups and trade
associations throughout the United States and abroad. Jeff
is also the author of the highly acclaimed book, Attitude
is Everything. For more information, go to http://www.attitudeiseverything.com
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Autumn. . . makes a double
demand. It asks that we prepare
for the future--that we be wise
in the ways of garnering and keeping.
But it also asks that we
learn to let go--to acknowledge
the beauty of sparseness.
Bonaro W.
Overstreet
Don't forget to visit our page dedicated to
this beautiful season!
Just click here for quotes, passages, and poems dedicated to
autumn. . . . |
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Why
Not You?
Steve Maraboli
Today,
many will awaken with a fresh
sense of inspiration. Why not you?
Today, many will open their eyes to the beauty
that surrounds them. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to leave the ghost of yesterday
behind and seize the immeasurable power of today. Why not you?
Today, many will break through the barriers of the past
by looking at the blessings of the present. Why not you?
Today, for many the burden of self doubt and insecurity will be
lifted by the security and confidence of empowerment. Why not you?
Today, many will rise above their believed limitations and
make contact with their powerful innate strength. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to live in such a manner that they
will be a positive role model for their children. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to free themselves from the
personal imprisonment of their bad habits. Why not you?
Today, many will choose to live free of conditions
and rules governing their own happiness. Why not you?
Today, many will find abundance in simplicity. Why not you?
Today, many will be confronted by difficult moral choices and they
will choose to do what is right instead of what is beneficial. Why
not you?
Today, many will decide to no longer sit back with a victim
mentality,
but to take charge of their lives and make positive changes. Why
not you?
Today, many will take the action
necessary to make a difference. Why not you?
Today, many will make the commitment to be a better mother,
father, son, daughter,
student, teacher, worker, boss, brother, sister, & so much
more. Why not you?
Today is a new day!
Many will seize this day.
Many will live it to the fullest.
Why not you?

A
renowned Speaker, Writer, National Radio Show Host, and Personal
Coach,
Steve Maraboli has risen to national prominence by
delivering highly
penetrating speeches and effective programs that help people
shake
off mediocrity, destroy personal barriers, and live up to
their greatest
potential. His words have helped countless people across the globe
align themselves with happiness and create a mindset that
attracts success and excellence. Steve has dedicated
his life to the
understanding of achievement, empowerment, and personal
enhancement.
Visit his website at stevemaraboli.com. |
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