29 April 2008

   
All of us can work for peace.  We can work right where we are, right within ourselves, because the more peace we have within our own lives, the more we can reflect into the outer situation.

Peace Pilgrim

Peace is self-control at its widest— at the width where the “self” has been lost, and interest has been transferred to coordinations
wider than personality.

Alfred North Whitehead

The one thing we can never get enough of is love.  And the one thing we never give enough of is love.

Henry Miller

When we connect with ourselves in love, we can connect with others and the planet in love.

Rattana Hetzel

   

Hello!
And welcome to today's issue of our e-zine, the newest offering in our
ongoing attempt to provide you with material that may help you to find
greater areas of peace, love, understanding, and compassion within
yourself.  For the more of these things that we can uncover within
ourselves, the more that we can share with the other people in our lives. 

Giving
Jerry White

Principles That Govern My Life
Chris Widener

Plum Blossoms
Rachel Naomi Remen

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Giving (an excerpt)
Jerry White

There is a difference between surviving and thriving.  Thriving requires tapping into our gratitude and drawing on this well to give to others.  Studies on gratitude and giving are starting to proliferate.  Why?  Because people are catching on to the secret of happiness--giving, not getting.  It turns out that by giving, we end up getting as well.  It's a loop.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no person can sincerely try to help another without helping him or herself."

The gift of gratitude is ancient wisdom.  Aesop, the Greek master of fables, said, "Gratitude is the sign of noble souls."  Marcus Tullius Cicero, the Roman statesman and orator, said, "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."

But what if you don't have a lot?  Can you still give?  Of course.  Families living in poverty are among the biggest givers relative to their means.  Just travel through low-income villages around the world.  You could be sitting in a one-room house without plumbing or electricity, but you will be fed like a king and served with abundant kindness.  You may not deserve or appreciate it fully, but the fatted calf was sacrificed for you, a stranger in their midst.  It's worth remembering that statistically the poorest among us are the most generous.  Well, that's why they are still poor and I'm not, you jest, they should learn to save.  But seriously, does your savings account bring you joy?  Does your bank balance make others smile?  Have you ever given until it hurts, and then been surprised by how good it feels?

Generosity, it turns out, is an indicator of gratitude and happiness.  Neuroscientists at the National Institutes of Health have scanned the brains of volunteers, asking them to think about a scenario involving either donating a sum of money to a charity or keeping it for themselves.  When volunteers placed the interests of others before their own, their generosity activated a primitive part of the brain that usually lights up in response to food or sex.  Altruism, the experiment suggested, is basic to the brain, hardwired and pleasurable.  Just think of it.  It was St. Francis of Assisi who admonished, "For it is in giving that we receive."

Giving is simply good for us.  It can be private, public, big or small.  Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., said "Life's most urgent question is what are you doing for others?  Everybody can be great. . . because anybody can serve.  You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve.  You only need a heart full of grace  A soul generated by love."

Dragana, my Bosnian friend who survived cervical cancer, says,

"I do not want to live only for myself.  I want to share what I have learned and what I feel with others.  Not only through talking about my experience and educating other young women that cervical cancer does not happen to someone else, but through inspiring and motivating people to discover their inner strength and passion for taking charge in their lives and making this world a better place.

"For me, life is enriching and making better the lives of people who are less fortunate than I am.  And I feel very, very fortunate.  For me, a day spent without making a difference in the life of others, even by a kind word, a smile, is a wasted day.  And there is so much more that each of us can give."

Hands down, absolutely nothing I have done in my life has compared with the transforming experience of meeting thousands of survivors and trying to be of help.  I discovered meaning and growth in starting Landmine Survivors Network.  I came to believe that we can all reflect on our circumstances and make meaning out of tragedy.  For ourselves, for the strength of our communities, it is something we must apply ourselves to do.  It's an act of grace--allowing a crisis to give us purpose.


      

White outlines a very specific
five-step program to coping with
disaster; to achieving strength and 
hope; and to turning tragedy into 
triumph.  In their own words, his
survivor friends and colleagues
share their stories.  It's a group that
includes the well known, like Lance
Armstrong, Nelson Mandela, and the
late Princess Diana, and also everyday
survivors. Through their stories and
the author's words, the book takes
readers step-by-step through the
process of not only surviving tragedy
and victimhood, but going on to thrive.

   
   

Living Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a place
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mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live life.  Take
from them what you will, and disagree with whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you each week.

   

   
The Simple Truths of Service
   
Principles That Govern My Life
Chris Widener

The strength and durability of a building is found in its foundation.  The same is true in a life.  What we accomplish and the effect we have on those around us is not only in what we do, but also in who we are.  In fact, what we do is driven by who we are, what we believe and value, and the principles that we live by.

Principles give us direction in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.  They are transferable to any given situation and will determine our direction.  Those who do not have permanent principles will find themselves drifting along and making decisions that are personally expedient, short-term oriented and usually bad for their long-term success.  So I thought I would share with you the principles that govern my life.  These are the ideas and concepts that drive my behavior, my career, and my family.  I would encourage you to sit down and write out your own principles--those that drive your life, or at least that you want to drive your life!

God first, others second, me third.  Gale Sayers, the running back of the Chicago Bears wrote a book titled I am Third.  This is true.  If I am to do and be what I want to do and be in this life, I recognize that I must have my priorities right.  Some people think that the way to success is to put themselves first.  This is short-term thinking.  Yes, you may be able to accomplish much in the near-term, but long-term, the best is accomplished by those who live by the above.

Always be completely honest.  You really only have your character when it comes right down to it, and honesty is the quickest way to determine your character.  Live in such a way that you can be completely honest and be willing to accept the responsibility that being completely honest will bring.

Make it your goal to help others; income will come from that.  Zig Ziglar is the one who got me thinking about that.  If you take care of others and their needs, you will earn your income.  If you simply try to earn income, people will stop responding to you and you will have defeated yourself.

You reap what you sow.  This is the most common truth on earth.  You put an apple seed into the ground, you get an apple tree.  An orange seed produces an orange tree.  If you invest, your money will grow.  If you eat right and exercise you will lose weight.  If you are kind to others they will be kind to you.

The true measure of a person's wealth is in the things he or she can afford not to buy.  This is one of my favorite quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson.  Things are great to have and so is money, but true riches are the priceless things we can't buy, like our family, our integrity and the sense of a job well done.  Pursue true wealth.

Work smart - and hard.  Some say you should work smart, not hard.  I say work smart and hard.  A good day of hard work is a blessing and ought to be appreciated.  Hard work is what changes the world - as long as it is smart, hard work!

Follow through on all commitments.  If there is one thing I can't stand it is when someone doesn't do what they say they will.  When we don't do what we say we will, we essentially say that the job wasn't important, the people we promised it to aren't important, and that we can't be trusted.  This is a good way to short-circuit your success.

Challenge others to greatness.  There are enough people who will hold out the low bar for people to step over.  I want to be a person who holds up the high bar, causing people to have to run and jump with all their might.  And when they clear that high bar, I want to be there celebrating with them!

Find ways to generously give of your resources.  The old saying is true - you can't take it with you.  But you can spread it around to lots of people while you are here.  If we wait until we die to give money away, we don't get any satisfaction in seeing how it is used and enjoyed.  Write a few good-sized checks each month!

Treat people right no matter how they treat you.  You cannot control another person's behavior.  It took me a long time to realize that.  I can only control my behavior.  And I can choose to do what is right no matter how another person treats me.  If everybody retaliated every time someone treated them bad, we would have a mess on our hands.  Instead, choose to act appropriately at all times.

When relationships go bad, be the first to hold out the olive branch.  Life is too short to leave a relationship broken.  As much as it is up to me, I will pursue reconciliation, for their sake, and for mine.  I don't want to get to the end of my life and wish I tried harder in my relationships.  For this reason I attempt to restore broken relationships.

Regularly try new things.  This is what keeps the spice of life going!  Try new foods, go to new places, and make new friends.  You will be amazed at the joy you receive and are able to give when you make it a habit to try new things.  Break out of the mold, and do something unusual today!

Treat everyone equally.  No one is better than anyone else.  I know people with tens of millions of dollars and people who do not have two nickels to rub together.  They are both equally valuable and worthy of being treated as such.  Don't fall into the trap of treating some people better than others.  It doesn't matter what color they are or how much money the have or what country they come from--treat them with the respect and dignity each human deserves.

Use any success you have to help others.  What good is success that only helps you?  Instead, use the money you make to help others.  Use the connections you make to help someone else up.  Use the knowledge you achieve to give someone else a leg up.  Take what you have and give to others so that they may join you on the journey of success.

Look down the economic scale more often than up.  When I look up the economic scale too often I become greedy and unsatisfied.  I become selfish.  Looking down at others who have less than me on a regular basis keeps me humble.  It reminds me of all of the blessings I have and keeps me thankful for them.

I want to encourage you to sit down soon and write out the principles that guide your life.  It is an excellent exercise that will help you refocus and keep your life going in the right direction!
   
   

   

Plum Blossoms
Rachel Naomi Remen

Many years ago in the midst of a shopping trip, I found myself in a store specializing in Japanese furniture, helping a friend who was furnishing his house.  He had been rapidly taken over by the only salesperson, a tiny woman in a kimono who had grabbed his arm and begun a discussion of Japanese paintings with him in a loud and intense voice.  Her head reached barely above his elbow but in spite of her size her manner made me uncomfortable and I drifted away toward the door, lurking behind chests and tonkus, waiting until he finished his purchases.

I thought I had hidden successfully until, without warning, the woman turned and moved toward me, pointing as she came.  I saw then that she was very old, possibly even deaf, and this perhaps explained her loudness.  She took me by the arm and began to pull me through the showroom, encouraging me with little clicking noises and repetitions of "Come. You come."  I tried to shake her off but for someone so small and frail her grip was strong.  So I went along, followed by my friend, who was clearly amused by my struggle.

She took us into a room in the back of the store, empty except for four scrolls, one on each wall, representing the seasons.  Unlike the paintings in the showroom these were museum-quality.  In one of them, an old and twisted branch bloomed with hundreds of tiny pink blossoms.  The branch and the blossoms were covered with snow.  It was exquisite.

Leading me up to this, she said to me, "You see, you see? February! The plum blossom comes!"  In her odd intense way she told me that the plum suffered because it was the first, it bloomed early, in February, often still in winter, in the hard and the cold.  She touched the snow on the branch with her small arthritic hand, nodding her head vigorously.  Looking intensely into my face and shaking my arm slightly, she said, "Plum blossom, the beginning.  Like Japanese woman, plum blossom gentle, tender, soft. . . and survive."

I puzzled about this for a long time afterwards.  As a physician, I thought I knew about survival, because after all I was in the survival business.  I had known survival to be a matter of expertise, of skill and action, of competence and knowledge.  What she had told me made no sense to me.

This was confusing to me for other reasons as well.  Like the plum blossoms, I too had come early.  My mother had suffered from toxemia and I had been delivered by emergency cesarean section far below full-term weight.  In February 1938, I had not been expected to live.  All through my childhood I had been told that I had survived because of the invention of the incubator.

For many years I had felt grateful for this technology, dependent upon it for my life.  Now as a young pediatrician I was working in a premature intensive-care nursery using far more powerful technology to keep other babies alive.  But what the old woman had said had made me wonder.  Perhaps survival was not only a question of the skillful use of state-of-the-art technology, perhaps there was something innate, some strength in those tiny pink infants, that enabled both them and me to survive.  I had never thought of that before.

It reminded me of something that had happened one spring day when I was fourteen.  Walking up Fifth Avenue in New York City, I was astonished to notice two tiny blades of grass growing through the sidewalk.  Green and tender, they had somehow broken through the cement.  Despite the crowds bumping up against me, I stopped and looked at them in disbelief.  This image stayed with me for a long time, possibly because it seemed so miraculous to me.  At the time, my idea of power was very different.  I understood the power of knowledge, of wealth, of government, and the law.  I had no experience with this other sort of power yet.

Accidents and natural disasters often cause people to feel that life is fragile.  In my experience, life can change abruptly and end without warning, but life is not fragile.  There is a difference between impermanence and fragility.  Even on the physiological level, the body is an intricate design of checks and balances, elegant strategies of survival layered on strategies of survival, balances and rebalances.  Anyone who has witnessed the recovery from such massive and invasive interventions as bone marrow transplant or open heart surgery comes away with a sense of deep respect, if not awe, for the ability of the body to survive.  This is as true in age as it is in youth.

There is a tenacity toward life which is present at the intracellular level without which even the most sophisticated of medical interventions would not succeed.  The drive to live is strong even in the most tiny of human beings.  I remember as a medical student seeing one of my teachers put a finger in the mouth of a newborn and, once the baby took hold, gently lift him partway off the bed by the strength of his suck.

That tenacity toward life endures in all of us, undiminished, until the moment of our death.


   

Sitting around the table telling stories is not just a way of passing time," writes Rachel Naomi Remen in her introduction to Kitchen Table Wisdom. "It is the way wisdom gets passed along. The stuff that helps us live a life worth remembering." Remen, a physician, therapist, professor of medicine, and long-term survivor of chronic illness, is also a down-home storyteller. Reading this collection of real-life parables feels like a late-night kitchen session with a best friend, munching on leftovers while listening to the good-as-gossip stories of everyday heroes and archetype villains. Every story guides us like a life compass, showing us what's good and lasting about ourselves as well as humanity.

  
   

The majority of people are not awake; it is only here and there
that we find one even partially awake.  Practically all of us, as a result,
are living lives that are unworthy almost the name of lives, compared
to those we might be living, and that lie within our easy grasp.
While it is true that each life is in and of Divine Being, hence always
one with it, in order that this great fact bear fruit in individual lives,
each one must be conscious of it; he or she must know it in thought,
and then live continually in this consciousness.

Ralph Waldo Trine

  

  

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True happiness is not attained
through self-gratification,
but through fidelity to
a worthy purpose.

Helen Keller

Life is either a daring adventure
or nothing.  To keep our faces
toward change and behave like
free spirits in the presence of
fate is strength undefeatable.

   

   

The Fence
author unknown

There once was a little boy with a bad temper.  His father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should
hammer a nail in the back fence rather than take it out on other people.

On the first day, the boy drove 37 nails into the fence.  As the days
went by, though, the number of nails gradually dwindled down.  He discovered
it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.  He
told his father about it, and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one
nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.  The days passed, and
the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were
gone.  The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.

He said, "You have done well, my son, and I'm very proud of you.
But look at the holes in the fence.  The fence will never be the same.
Remember that when you say things in anger, your words leave a scar
just like this one.  You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, and it
won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry'--the wound is still there.
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one."

   

   

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