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January
1, 2008 |
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The
whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness of the interdependence of all these living beings, which are all
part of one another, and all involved in one another.
Thomas
Merton |
Spiritual
energy brings compassion into the real world. With
compassion, we see benevolently our own human condition and the condition
of our fellow beings. We drop prejudice. We withhold
judgment.
Christina Baldwin |
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The
individual is capable of both great compassion and great indifference. We have it within our means
to nourish the former and outgrow the latter.
Norman
Cousins |
Until we
extend the circle of our compassion to all living things, we will not ourselves find peace.
Albert Schweitzer |
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Mindfulness
of This Moment
(an excerpt)
Jon Kabat-Zinn
One of
the main reasons we use intensive training in mindfulness
meditation at our clinic is that most of the time, most
people are unaware they are not in this moment--and
that learning, growth, healing, and the shaping of new
directions always come out of this moment.
Nor are they aware that they are thinking constantly and
that our behavior is virtually dictated by our reactions
to our own thought content--which we misperceive as being
true. We believe our thoughts unquestioningly and
react to them emotionally, although they are mostly
inaccurate.
Let's
take a thought that's not necessarily a fact, like the
thought, "I'm over the hill; it's all downhill from
here." Many people believe this when they reach
a certain point in their lives. They feel they
didn't get where they were "supposed" to
get. They look in the mirror and realize, "My
God, I'm not going to achieve those things."
And then the thought comes up, "It's all over for
me," or "I've wasted my life." In
such moments, you might not realize that that's just a
thought. You instinctively believe it. That
collapse can spiral you into depression, overwhelming you
with feelings of hopelessness or helplessness.
Now, our
thoughts are forming maybe a thousand times a second, so
they have a very powerful way of coloring our lives--our
views, our relationships, the feelings we experience, the
things we take on or don't take on, the choices we make,
and everything else. Usually we have no idea this is
being driven by inaccurate, reactive thinking.
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Meanwhile,
here we are, missing the fullness of the present moment,
which is where the soul resides. It's not like you
have to go someplace else to get it. So the
challenge here is, Can we live this moment fully?
When you ask a group of people to spend five minutes
watching their own breaths moving in and out of their
bodies, just as an experiment, with people who have never
meditated before (you don't even have to call it
meditation), they discover, often with great surprise,
that their minds are like bubbling vats, and it's not so
easy to stay on the breath. The mind has a life of
its own. It carries you away. Over a lifetime,
you may wind up in the situation where you are never
actually where you find yourself. You're always
someplace else, lost, in your head, and therefore in a
kind of dysfunctional or nonoptimal state. Why
dysfunctional? Because the only time you ever have
in which to learn anything or see anything or feel
anything, or express any feeling or emotion, or respond to
an event, or grow, or heal, is this moment, because this
is the only moment any of us ever gets. You're only
here now; you're only alive in this moment.
When
people make this discovery, it is an experience of waking
up to a realization, a reality, they did not know
before: most of the time, we're operating in an
automatic-pilot mode that is more asleep than awake.
When you have that realization, you begin to see
differently and then act differently.
The past
is gone, and I don't know what's coming in the
future. It's obvious that if I want my life to be
whole, to resonate with feeling and integrity and value
and health, there's only one way I can influence the
future: by owning the present. If I can relate
to this moment with integrity, and then this
moment with integrity, and then this moment
with integrity, wakefully, then the sum of that is going
to be very different over time, over mind moments that
stretch out into what we call a life, than a life that is
lived mostly on automatic pilot, where we are reacting and
being mechanical and are therefore somewhat numb.
The
autopilot mode switches on in virtually every domain in
life. It happens at work, it happens at home, it
happens in the family, it happens in the car, it happens
when you're alone. Most of the time, if you're not
really paying attention, you're someplace else. . . .
It's
important to practice mindfulness, because most of the
time we are practicing the opposite. Every time we
act with frustration, sadness, or anger and we don't hold
that reaction in our awareness, it takes on a life of its
own--it "does us" instead of us doing it,
whatever it is. . . . Over time what you're doing
is practicing mindlessness. By not being
fully awake in each moment, you are getting better and
better at reacting, or going numb. As you get older,
a lifetime of not paying attention and not nourishing what
is deepest and most important has profound
consequences. The details and excitement of youth,
work, ego gratification, the pursuit of name and fame, all
fall away. What you're left with is the fundamentals
you have been practicing. If you've been practicing
resentment for fifty years, if you've been practicing not
being sensitive to other people's feelings, if you've been
practicing being on some colossal ego trip, it doesn't
just stay the same--that would be bad enough. It
builds. It ends up imprisoning you. You get
more and more locked into that behavior.
Whereas,
if you're practicing mindfulness, it doesn't matter if you
get angry or depressed or irritated or contracted.
The eddy or whirlpool in the mind or heart becomes the
object of your attention because it's as worthy of
attention as anything else. You're not editing your
life; you're not saying, "This is good and this
is bad, this is soulful, this is spiritual,
I want this, I don't want that." You're saying,
"The whole of it is my life as long as I'm willing to
hold it in awareness."
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Authors
such as Lynn Andrews,
Wayne Dyer, Robert Fulghum,
Bernie Siegel, Marianne
Williamson, and Ram Dass
offer suggestions and
observations about nourishing
the soul through meditation,
prayer, and the contemplation
of nature. Many writers offer
glimpses into their own daily
routines and explain, briefly,
how they manage to maintain
an enthusiasm for life and a vital
sense of that mysterious,
timeless part of ourselves
that we call the soul. |
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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A
New Kind of Resolution
You are not just the size of your bank account,
the neighborhood you live in, or the type of work
that you do. You
are, just like everyone else, an almost
inconceivably complicated mix of abilities and
limitations.
A new kind of New Year’s resolution is
becoming increasingly popular.
Instead of dwelling on something they think
is wrong with them and resolving to improve, a lot
of people are taking a different approach.
They are resolving to accept themselves.
To acknowledge that, faults and all, they are
complete people, good people.
Kathleen, a member of a group that spreads the
acceptance philosophy, explains that she used to
feel like she was in a trap she could not get out
of. She
would try to correct herself and change herself, and
the failure to change was actually worse than the
original problem itself.
She felt like a “maniac” because of the
pressures to change and the weight of failure.
Now Kathleen counsels accepting yourself, which does not mean ignoring
your faults or never trying to improve.
What it does mean is “believing in your own
value first, last, and always.”
From The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy
People by David Niven. |
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| Once
upon a time there was a king who ruled a small
kingdom. It wasn't great, and it wasn't really known for any of its resources or
people. But the king did have a diamond, a great perfect diamond that had been in his
family for generations. He kept it on display for all to see and
appreciate. People came from all over the country to admire it and gaze at it.
Then
one day a soldier came to the king with the news that,
although no one had touched the diamond, for it was guarded day and night, the
diamond was cracked. The king ran to see, and sure enough there was a crack right
through the middle of the diamond.
Immediately
he summoned all of the jewelers of the land and had them
look
at the diamond. One after another they examined the
diamond and gave the
bad news to the king: the diamond was useless; it was
irredeemably flawed.
The king was crushed, so were the people. Somehow they
felt they
had lost everything.
Then
out of nowhere came an old man who claimed to be a
jeweler. He asked
to see the diamond. After examining it, he looked up
and confidently told
the king, "I can fix it. In fact, I can make it
better than it was before."
The king was shocked and a bit leery. The old man
said, "Give me the jewel,
and in a week I'll bring it back fixed." Now the
king was not about to let the
stone out of his sight, even if it was ruined, so he gave
the old man a room,
all the tools and food and drink he needed, and he
waited. It was a long week.
At
the end of the week the old man appeared with the stone in
his hand and
gave it to the king. The king couldn't believe his
eyes. It was magnificent.
The old man had fixed it, and he had made it better than it
was before! He
had used the crack that ran through the middle of the stone
as a stem and
carved an intricate, full-blown rose, leaves, and thorns
into the diamond.
It was exquisite.
The
king was overjoyed and offered the old man half his
kingdom. He
had taken something beautiful and perfect and improved upon
it! But the
old man refused in front of everyone, saying, "I didn't
do that at all.
What I did was take something flawed and cracked at its
heart and
turn it into something beautiful."
Megan
McKenna |
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You're
Making a Lasting Impression
Jeff
Keller
One of the earliest memories I have of my father is
from one of the family vacations we took
together. I was about seven years old at the
time, and we were driving somewhere in the southern
United States. My brother and I were in the
back of the car, with my mom and dad in the
front. It was mid-afternoon on a hot summer
day when my dad saw an ice cream truck and pulled
over.
As my father got out of the car, he saw a group of
five young boys sitting on the curb near the
truck. Four of the five boys were eating ice
cream. I watched as my dad went over to the
boy without the ice cream and said to him,
"Would you like some ice cream? I'll buy one
for you." The boy politely told my father
that he didn't want any. Sure, it was a nice gesture
on the part of my dad. But it wasn't a big
deal, right? Well. . . actually, it was.
My father's act of kindness toward a complete
stranger was imprinted on my mind that day.
And I believe that my own conduct has been
significantly shaped by that event. My dad made a
lasting impression on me in another way as
well. You see, social or economic status meant
very little to my father.
He didn't gravitate to those with fancy
titles. He seemed just as interested in
speaking to waiters and the people who swept the
floors. He respected everyone and looked down
on nobody. And again, my dad's conduct helped
to influence the way that I deal with people to this
day.
Here are a few things to consider if you want to
make a lasting impression and be a positive
influence on others:
1. Recognize the paradox. We don't usually
make a lasting impression when we're trying to do
so. Rather, it happens when we're just living
our lives and doing what may seem like ordinary,
everyday things. Sure, there are some who make
an enduring impact through great achievement or by
being a celebrity. But lasting impressions are
not reserved for famous people like Oprah Winfrey or
Michael Jordan.
They're available to you and me - every day, every
moment. As I look back, I can't remember a
time when my dad sat down with me and said,
"Here's how you should treat
people." I simply observed how he lived
his life. So, too, people are watching your
life, whether you realize it or not. This is
true in all the life roles you play - be it parent,
child, employee, business owner, etc.
2. Live each moment consciously. While we
can't plan those encounters or situations that will
create lasting impressions, we can be more aware of
our behavior and the potential influence it may
have. Too often, we live our lives on
"automatic pilot," that is, we do things
out of habit without realizing the effect our
actions might have on others. In many of these
instances, our behavior does not match what we
declare to be our values. For instance, you
may think that you are "open-minded" and
then catch yourself being intolerant of someone with
different viewpoints.
Starting today, right now, realize that every
interaction you have is precious. As author
Dan Millman often says, "there are no ordinary
moments." With this in mind, you can
consciously choose, for example, to be honest, kind
and to give your best efforts at all times.
So, the next time you're about to do something, ask
yourself: What action would I take right now
if I knew my behavior would have a lasting effect on
someone? This isn't about being perfect.
There will always be times when we behave in ways
that we're not proud of. Yet, as you realize
the impact of your day-to-day conduct, you'll find
yourself making different choices.
3. Appreciate the ripple effect. It's hard to
fathom the consequences of the lasting impressions
we make. When my father asked that young boy
whether he wanted some ice cream, he was affecting
me--as well as everyone who would eventually come
into contact with me--forever! Isn't that
incredible?
Yet, it's not an exaggeration. My dad's act
helped to shape my character, which in turn affects
the way that I have dealt with people in the 40
years since that event. Furthermore, the
people who I have met may have been affected and
have passed along those values to others they have
met. It's an endless cycle. Thus, there
are no small acts in this world. One simple
act can truly change the course of humanity.
In the end, you're going to make many lasting
impressions, whether you want to or not. It's up to
you whether the messages you send are positive or
negative. As you go through your day today,
give a little extra consideration to how you speak
and how you act. You just may be making an
impression that will endure for generations.
© Jeff
Keller. Jeff is the President of Attitude is
Everything, Inc. For more than 15 years, Jeff
has delivered presentations on attitude and
motivation to businesses, groups and trade
associations throughout the United States and
abroad. Jeff is also the author of the highly
acclaimed book, Attitude is Everything. For
more information, go to http://www.attitudeiseverything.com |
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We've
been looking for a way to recommend many of the books
and movies that inspire us to live our lives more fully, and
Amazon
finally has provided it. Check out our new bookstore,
which is full
of inspirational and motivational material. We'd also
appreciate any
suggestions you might have of what to stock it with--please
visit
our feedback page
to make recommendations! |
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Kindness
Spoken Here
Gail Pursell Elliott
"Here,
at whatever hour you come,
you will find light, help, and human kindness."
Albert Schweitzer
The
above quote is reported to have been on a sign above
Dr. Schweitzer’s medical clinic. What a simple,
welcoming phrase that speaks volumes in its intent.
Think
about that phrase for a moment and imagine what it
would be like if you saw that sign above any place
of business, at the entrance to any office, at the
entryway of any home, in the vestibule of any church
that you happened to visit.
Suppose
that phrase was on the welcome sign of your
community. Suppose it was over the door of your
local school.
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Suppose
this was included in the mission statement of your
company, the philosophy of your customer service
department, the expectation of how employees were to
interact with one another.
The
phrase speaks of light and we might envision a
physical light that is always burning. There is
another light of course that burns within each of
us. Dr. Schweitzer referred to that internal light
as being fueled with our values and beliefs. Writer
Ayn Rand is quoted as saying, "Do not let your
fire go out." I speak of personal dignity and
self respect extended in dignity and respect to
others as being a "beacon of light." |
Often
places of business and other public locations offer
signs that offer bilingual or multilingual services.
People who are bilingual frequently dream in both
languages. They have been internalized and come
easily.
There
is a universal language that can be spoken by
everyone. That language is kindness. Suppose in
addition to the bilingual or multilingual
announcement, there was also a sign that read,
"Kindness Spoken Here." For some kindness
is a native language. For others it is a second
language. Regardless, any of us can become fluent in
this language at any age.
The
dictionary defines kindness as the state or quality
of being kind. In other words, kindness is not only
an action, it is a state of being. The following are
some definitions or qualities of that state of
being.
A
deep-seated characteristic shown habitually by
considerate behavior.
Of a good or benevolent nature or disposition.
Having, showing, or proceeding from benevolence.
Indulgent, considerate, or helpful.
Mild.
Gentle.
Humane.
Compassionate.
Gracious.
A sympathetic attitude toward others.
Kindness
can be internalized and comes easily when, with
practice, it becomes part of our state of being.
Kindness
is something that we must own and extend to
ourselves before we are able to extend it to
others. When we do this, we do not determine whether
someone deserves our kindness anymore than we
determine whether someone deserves to be spoken to
in their own language. It is simply something we do
because it has become our nature to be kind.
Like
so many other qualities of being, it takes insight,
awareness, paying attention, and not taking things
personally. Focusing outward with our values, rather
than being caught up in the tempest of situations,
keeping our personal power intact.
©Gail Pursell Elliott.
All rights reserved.
"The Dignity and Respect Lady"
Innovations "Training With a Can-Do
Attitude"TM
PO Box 552, Roland, IA 50236; 515-388-9600
gail@innovations-training.com;
www.innovations-training.com |
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All contents © 2008 Living Life Fully™, all rights
reserved.
Livinglifefully.com is trademarked SM, all rights reserved..
Please feel free to re-use material from this site other than
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Thank you. |
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A
friend's son was in the first grade of school, and his
teacher asked
the class, "What is the color of apples?"
Most of the children
answered red. A few said green. Kevin, my
friend's son, raised
his hand and said white. The teacher tried to explain
that apples could
be red, green, or sometimes golden, but never white.
Kevin was
quite insistent and finally said, "Look inside."
Perception
without mindfulness keeps us on the surface
of things, and we often miss other levels of reality.
Joseph
Goldstein |
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please take very good care of yourself
this week. . . .
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Wish
List
Collin McCarty
Of all
the things I wish for you, I would give anything if these
wishes could always come true. . . .
I want
you to be happy. I want you to fill your heart with
feelings of wonder and to be full of courage and
hope. I want you to have the type of friendship that
is a treasure--and the kind of love that is beautiful
forever. I wish you contentment: the sweet,
quiet, inner kind that comes around and never goes away.
I want
you to have hopes and have them all come true. I
want you to make the most of this moment in time. I
want you to have a real understanding of how unique and
rare you really are. I want to remind you that the
sun may disappear for a while, but it never forgets to
shine. I want you to have faith. May you have
feelings that are shared from heart to heart, simple
pleasures amidst this complex world, and wonderful goals
that are within your grasp. May the words you listen
to say the things you need to hear. And may a
cheerful face lovingly look back at you when you happen to
glance in your mirror.
I wish
you the insight to see your inner and outer beauty.
I wish you sweet dreams. I want you to have times
when you feel like singing and dancing and laughing out
loud. I want you to be able to make your good times
better and your hard times easier to handle. I want
you to have millions of moments when you find satisfaction
in the things you do so wonderfully. And I wish I
could find a way to tell you--in untold ways--how
important you are to me.
Of all
the things I'll be wishing for, wherever you are and
whatever I may do, there will never be a day in my life
when I won't be wishing for the best. . . for you. |
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And
a New Year's tradition here at Living Life Fully:
Happy
New You
Wilferd A. Peterson
The conventional Happy New
Year approach is to think of the New Year
as something that happens
outside ourselves. It is a good luck wish that
the New Year, in some
magical way, will bring us our heart's desire.
We look to the New
Year to make us happy.
When we expect happiness to
come to us from the outside we are
usually disappointed.
Happiness is not guaranteed by sunny weather,
a raise in pay, a new car, a
beautiful home or anything else of a material
nature. External
things are often possessed by very unhappy people.
Happiness does not come out
of a New Year; it comes out of men
and women. Life does not change
when we hang a new calendar on the wall
or when the clock strikes midnight
and a New Year begins. The only
way life will change for us is when
we change ourselves.
The source of happiness is
not in events happening outside of us;
the source of happiness is within
us. We cannot control the outside world
but we can control our
own thoughts and emotions.
All true happiness is an inner
experience.
There is a new phrase to
speak to each other as we face
the adventure of a New Year. . . "Happy
New You!"
The way to make the New Year
the best year of your life is
to look to yourself, not to the year,
for your happiness. . . .
To realize that happiness
does not depend on the birth
of a New Year, but on the birth of a New You.
To know that the months,
weeks, days, hours and minutes
of the New Year are empty until you
fill them with happiness.
To face the fact that time
is dead until you give it life,
and that your happiness depends on the
quality of life you give it.
Happy New You! |
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