The Formula for Failure and Success
Jim Rohn

A Personal Note
Lucy Lopez

There's Something Wrong with Me!
tom walsh

Your Greatest Treasures
Steve Brunkhorst

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Being defeated is often a temporary condition.  Giving up is what makes it permanent.

Marilyn vos Savant

W.C. Fields

M.H. Alderson

There's often just a subtle difference between "giving up" and "moving on."  We have to know when to do each in its turn.

tdw

Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. We do not fail overnight. Failure is the inevitable result of an accumulation of poor thinking and poor choices. To put it more simply, failure is nothing more than a few errors in judgment repeated every day.

Now why would someone make an error in judgment and then be so foolish as to repeat it every day? The answer is because he or she does not think that it matters.

On their own, our daily acts do not seem that important. A minor oversight, a poor decision, or a wasted hour generally doesn't result in an instant and measurable impact. More often than not, we escape from any immediate consequences of our deeds.

If we have not bothered to read a single book in the past ninety days, this lack of discipline does not seem to have any immediate impact on our lives. And since nothing drastic happened to us after the first ninety days, we repeat this error in judgment for another ninety days, and on and on it goes. Why? Because it doesn't seem to matter. And herein lies the great danger. Far worse than not reading the books is not even realizing that it matters!

Those who eat too many of the wrong foods are contributing to a future health problem, but the joy of the moment overshadows the consequence of the future. It does not seem to matter. 

Those who smoke too much or drink too much go on making these poor choices year after year after year... because it doesn't seem to matter. But the pain and regret of these errors in judgment have only been delayed for a future time. Consequences are seldom instant; instead, they accumulate until the inevitable day of reckoning finally arrives and the price must be paid for our poor choices - choices that didn't seem to matter.

Failure's most dangerous attribute is its subtlety. In the short term those little errors don't seem to make any difference. We do not seem to be failing. In fact, sometimes these accumulated errors in judgment occur throughout a period of great joy and prosperity in our lives. Since nothing terrible happens to us, since there are no instant consequences to capture our attention, we simply drift from one day to the next, repeating the errors, thinking the wrong thoughts, listening to the wrong voices and making the wrong choices. The sky did not fall in on us yesterday; therefore the act was probably harmless. Since it seemed to have no measurable consequence, it is probably safe to repeat.

But we must become better educated than that!

If at the end of the day when we made our first error in judgment the sky had fallen in on us, we undoubtedly would have taken immediate steps to ensure that the act would never be repeated again. Like the child who places his hand on a hot burner despite his parents' warnings, we would have had an instantaneous experience accompanying our error in judgment.

Unfortunately, failure does not shout out its warnings as our parents once did. This is why it is imperative to refine our philosophy in order to be able to make better choices. With a powerful, personal philosophy guiding our every step, we become more aware of our errors in judgment and more aware that each error really does matter.

Now here is the great news. Just like the formula for failure, the formula for success is easy to follow: It's a few simple disciplines practiced every day.

Now here is an interesting question worth pondering: How can we change the errors in the formula for failure into the disciplines required in the formula for success? The answer is by making the future an important part of our current philosophy.

Both success and failure involve future consequences, namely the inevitable rewards or unavoidable regrets resulting from past activities. If this is true, why don't more people take time to ponder the future? The answer is simple: They are so caught up in the current moment that it doesn't seem to matter. The problems and the rewards of today are so absorbing to some human beings that they never pause long enough to think about tomorrow.

But what if we did develop a new discipline to take just a few minutes every day to look a little further down the road? We would then be able to foresee the impending consequences of our current conduct. Armed with that valuable information, we would be able to take the necessary action to change our errors into new success-oriented disciplines. In other words, by disciplining ourselves to see the future in advance, we would be able to change our thinking, amend our errors and develop new habits to replace the old.

One of the exciting things about the formula for success - a few simple disciplines practiced every day - is that the results are almost immediate. As we voluntarily change daily errors into daily disciplines, we experience positive results in a very short period of time. When we change our diet, our health improves noticeably in just a few weeks. When we start exercising, we feel a new vitality almost immediately. When we begin reading, we experience a growing awareness and a new level of self-confidence. Whatever new discipline we begin to practice daily will produce exciting results that will drive us to become even better at developing new disciplines.

The real magic of new disciplines is that they will cause us to amend our thinking. If we were to start today to read the books, keep a journal, attend the classes, listen more and observe more, then today would be the first day of a new life leading to a better future. If we were to start today to try harder, and in every way make a conscious and consistent effort to change subtle and deadly errors into constructive and rewarding disciplines, we would never again settle for a life of existence – not once we have tasted the fruits of a life of substance!

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn
   

Reproduced with permission from the Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine.

I have also noticed something else.  The people that I speak to over the phone often seem to smile back, or at least I seem to hear their smiles over the phone.  It doesn't matter who they are or which of us called the other or the purpose of the call.  There inevitably seems to be a raising and exchange of positive energy.  As for people whom I physically meet, well, the raising and exchange of positive energy is quite spontaneously and unmistakably reflected on our faces and in our voices, not to mention our behaviour!

Ultimately, all phenomena, whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual are a form of energy.  Our material or physical world is a construction of energy variously grouped and configured.  Scientific empiricism provides us with a means of quantifying this energy and tracking it.  It does this in a variety of ways including the use of indicators of energy such as temperature, sound, light, work done etc.  Mental, emotional and spiritual energy however are a bit more elusive and seem to defy traditional scientific methods of measurement!  Yet, increasingly many of us have come to realize and experience directly how these forms of energy and their flow occurs and impacts upon all (living) things. 

Many of us have undergone changes in our energy levels in various environments, often without even being aware of these changes.  Most of us would have experienced a temperate or rainforest, the company of a loved one, a mountain top, the company of someone we don't like or are afraid of, the ocean,  a busy shopping mall, a quiet corner in a cafe overlooking the water, children at play, children fighting, peak hour traffic, a cinema, a christening ceremony, a private space in our home, a football match, a hospital ward, at our desk, on an airplane, the freeway at 2am, a business meeting, the hairdresser's, a church or temple, a prison cell, our minds, a funeral, the grocery store, a birthday party, a road accident etc.  In other words, every situation, everywhere is an energy environment! 

If I am mindful, I will notice that my energy level fluctuates as I become part of each environment.  I become aware of how the energy of other things and people affects me.  I realize that my energy affects others too, near and distant, seen and unseen, known and unknown !  If, therefore, I wish to generate positive energy in a given environment and experience it myself, thereby affecting the overall energy state of the universe, I must ensure that my own physical, mental and emotional environments are positively charged.  In this way I am better able to express and experience my natural spiritual state, a state of love!

Easier said than done, no doubt, but hugely possible!  In fact, I have experienced countless occasions when I have entered into or co-created an environment of positive energy that I am now convinced it is something I am developing control over.  I hope you are too!

© Lucy Lopez

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There's Something Wrong with Me!

So you've tried a few self-help books, trying to work your way through some of the problems that are in your life, and you've been astonished and dismayed to find out that most of them somehow make you feel worse!  Here's some woman or some man on a tape or in a book, giving you all sorts of wonderful advice on how to improve your life and make things better, and those upbeat and inspiring words are bringing you down.  It just doesn't make any sense at all--or does it?

I know from experience that trying to improve our lives by learning how to deal with life's curveballs and obstacles can be a rough road to follow.  Personally, I've had very positive programs that made a lot of sense to me act as a catalyst for depression, and I've spent many an awful day as a result of trying to learn more about what truly will make me happy.  As time has gone on and I've learned more, I've started to realize one of the main reasons for which this dynamic occurs, and here it is:

First of all, as soon as we start listening to a program that will help us to "improve" our lives, there's an obvious implication that we aren't doing something right, that there's something wrong with us.  After all, if there weren't anything wrong with us, why would we be listening to a self-improvement program?  While most of us are willing to admit that we aren't perfect and that we make mistakes, there's another aspect of who we are that doesn't want us to admit such a thing.  Many people refer to this part of our selves as our "false self," the part of us that's influenced by outside forces and that wants to please those forces.  

Once this false self gets the idea that we think there's something wrong with us, it goes into a defensive mode, trying to defend itself, for self-improvement is, in most ways, an attempt to dethrone this false self and to allow our true selves to live the lives they were meant to live.  And what's the most effective way to defend itself?  By drawing on those very feelings that make us feel that we need to improve our lives, by making us feel miserable and then blaming that misery on the very program we're listening to.

And how does it do this?  Through the negative self-talk that it's used so well for so long.  "What does she know about my life?"  "How can she tell me what to do to be happy--she doesn't even know me?"  "I'd like to think his advice is good, but he's so judgmental!"  "That may work for some people, but it wouldn't work for someone like me!"  "That's interesting, but it's so strange.  I've never heard anything like that before."  "Why is this guy telling me to change?  What's wrong with the way I am?"

You see, this false self doesn't want to change--it likes where it is, right there in charge of your life.  It can bring you down when it needs to by making you focus on petty, negative garbage, and it can keep you wondering why things never get better.  It can use feelings of self-righteousness, superiority, arrogance, selfishness -- all feelings that we intellectually despise -- to keep us down where it wants us.  It's afraid of change, for change means its end.

It's taken me years to figure out what's going on and how to work with it, and I'm definitely not completely there yet.  My personal false self is still quite strong, and it often keeps me feeling pretty low when there's no real reason for that.  But I am learning to recognize its voice, to take it for what it is, and to do my best to reject it as soon as I recognize it.  And it feels very good when I do so -- instinctively, I feel that I'm doing something right and advancing in my development as a person.

Deciding to improve oneself isn't a question of getting on a well paved highway and stepping on the gas and progressing at 150 miles and hour.  Not at all.  It's more like spying a beautiful clearing with a nice waterfall and gorgeous flowers and singing birds several miles away, and then seeing that between you and that clearing lie dark forests, fields of thorn bushes, people who want to stop you from reaching the clearing, wild beasts that are very hungry, and many more obstacles -- most created by the false self, who knows that it can't get to the clearing with you.  But the clearing is there, and it's waiting for you, and everyone can reach it if they just trust in their true selves and learn to recognize all that comes from their false selves.

Next week:  Where does this "false self" come from?

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John Bradshaw has touched and changed millions of lives through his nationally televised PBS series and his best-selling books. His previous book, Homecoming, introduced the concept of the inner child to a vast new audience. Now he defines the "next great stage of growth"--how we can work to create healthy, loving relationships in every part of our lives.

Written for everyone who has struggled with painful relationships and is seeking hope and a new direction, Creating Love is a life-changing book.

For me one of the most significant consequences of imaginatively embracing my inner child was that it gave me a way to be compassionate with myself.  When I look in the mirror, even now, the old voices of blame, comparison, and self-contempt start playing.  Even after years of hearing new voices in my friendships and community fellowship, I can hear those old posthypnotic tapes.  For years I read books that offered techniques to help one love oneself.  I stared in the mirror and  said, "I love you, John," over and over.  It helped for a few minutes and then the voices got worse.

Techniques are basically useless until one has restored social contact and self-acceptance.  We need social support and we need to emotionally embrace our rejected and split-off parts.  The image of ourselves as a child is the fastest and soundest way I have ever found to embrace these parts.

You can read more book excerpts by clicking here!