Days Aren't Days Any More

Have you ever noticed how much more quickly time goes by as we get older?  With each year that I spend on this planet, time flies by much more quickly, and what used to take forever to get here (how long does Christmas take to come when we're six?) now flies in on a supersonic jet and leaves just as quickly.  Vacations?  They used to last forever, but now they're over almost before they start.

But what does this mean to us?  So what?  Does that make a difference in our lives?

I say "absolutely."  If our lives seem to be passing more quickly as we grow older, then it's very important that we be aware of the faster time and try to make more of it while it's passing.  If I know that this coming week is going to go by more quickly than weeks used to, then I need to plan into the week things like long walks and bike rides, rather than just assuming they're going to happen.  I need to plan on finding time to talk to friends and read books and relax, because it probably will be very easy for me to get caught up in the many tasks that face us each day of our lives and let the days go by moving from task to task.

I also need to let go of things more quickly.  I need to let go of the anger that I feel for the person who did something bad or rude to me or someone I care for.  I need to let go of the worries about work or money or the car.  I need to let go of trying to make things happen in the way that I want them to happen, and let go of my often-unrealistic expectations of others and their behaviors.  If I don't let go of these things, then my all-too-short days will be less enjoyable and more stressful, and that can't be good for me.

If we move to a new city or country, one of the first things that we do is learn about the laws of the place so that we don't find ourselves breaking those laws.  We do this out of respect for the place and the people who live there, and we do it quite naturally.

When we move to new places or into new situations in our lives, though, we tend not to do the same thing--we just assume that things are the same.  My life right now, though, is not the same as it was in high school, and it's not the same as it was when I was younger and doing work that wasn't career-oriented.  One of those differences is the speed at which I pass through time, and the significantly less free time that I have.  If I want to get the most out of this life I have, I need to recognize that rules and laws change as I make my way through life, and that days aren't what they used to be, and weeks aren't what they used to be.  They don't last as long, and I spend much more time in each focused on things that have to be done rather than on things that I want or need to do.

Are your days and weeks shorter, too?  If they are, that probably means that you just need to plan in a few more of the things that we used to do as a matter of course, the fun things that kept us young and alive.  If we don't do this, what will we do tomorrow, when we find out that twenty years have passed us by?  Personally, I want to look back on those twenty years and see a time that was balanced between fun and obligations, recreation and work.  It's completely my choice, but unless I'm fully aware of the changing laws, I probably won't be able to make that choice.

Modern life is so full of pressures pushing this way and that that most of us react by trying to impose order upon it.  Our society of chaotic forces is thus a society of endless laws and regulations.  This isn't surprising, because humans thrive on order and are frightened by disorder.  Disorder is unpredictable and out of our control, therefore it makes us feel stressed out.  Think of a time when disorder and unpredictability suddenly crept up in your life:  missing an airplane flight, having your car break down by the side of the road, hearing that someone you love has lost a job.

Almost always these events work themselves out; there is no real harm done to your existence, just minor inconvenience.  Yet your nervous system probably reacted very strongly, expressing fear and discomfort when your plans went awry.  The ego's response to chaos is to fight against it and to impose even more control.  The next time you flew you probably double-checked your departure time and left early.  The next time you drove you took precautions against the same breakdown occurring again.

The problem is that all this struggle, worry, planning and controlling runs against the grain of life.  Life compresses chaos and orderliness together.  You cannot have one without the other.  If you want to be in the flow of life, you can't struggle against it at the same time.  Therefore the quester after perfection accepts that he is always going to be uncertain, that she is always going to feel off-balance.  "The role of the disciple," Merlin said, "is always to stumble but never to fall."

Despite the fact that your ego hates unpredictability, the truth is that you have benefited from it again and again.  Think for a moment about the unexpected opportunities that have come your way, offers of help you never anticipated, sudden brainstorms and inspiration, impulsive decisions to move or talk to a stranger that opened new horizons.  This is the natural way to live.  "Your life is already organized within itself," Merlin said.  "Life flows from life, the bud unfolds into the flower, the child ripens into the adult.  Trust in each stage, celebrate it, and allow the next one to come to you effortlessly."

There is a simple exercise that will show you how truly marvelous it is to lead an unpredictable life.  Sit for a moment and imagine that you can view your life as a video in your mind.  Start the video with the events of today and let them roll forward the way you wish tomorrow will turn out, then the next day and the next.  Imagine yourself growing older:  see the future you would want if you could have anything you desired.  Let your fantasy roam where it will, and end up with your own death.  Make it a desirable death, painless and peaceful.

Once you've done this go back and see an entirely different video.  Begin with the events of today, only have them turn out differently.  This is only imagination at work, so you can give yourself a wild, catastrophic life, or a dramatic one, or a saintly one.  Take the video up to your death scene.  Now go back and start over again.  The point of the exercise is that all of what you have visualized is true--your future consists of not one scenario but all possible ones.  They branch out from the present moment like invisible threads of potential.  Everyone's life is like this; only our false sense of control makes us believe that we can impose order on what in fact is totally unpredictable.

The ego must examine its fears an stop trying to control.  That is one huge part of the quest you are on  If you can accept the flow of life and give in to it, you will be accepting what is real.  Only when you accept what is real can you live with it in peace and happiness.  The alternative is a struggle that will never end because it is a struggle with the unreal, with a mirage of life instead of life itself.