|
5 June
2007
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
History
must repeat itself because we pay such little attention to it the
first time.
Blackie
Sherrod
|
|
| |
|
Never
fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining nearby.
Ruth
E. Renkel
|
|
| |
|
By
our errors we see deeper into life.
Ralph
Iron
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
Really
Great Generosity
(an excerpt)
Sylvia Boorstein I've
heard people use the expression "generous to a fault,"
as if it were possible to be too generous, that great
Generosity would somehow be depriving oneself. I think the
opposite is true. Being able to give freely means not being
so absorbed in one's own needs that it becomes impossible to look
past them at who else is in the world and what they
need. Not being absorbed in one's own needs is--even before
any generous act happens--a relief. The
Buddha taught that suffering is the extra pain in the mind that
happens when we feel an anguished imperative to have things be
different from how they are. We see it most clearly when our
personal situation is painful and we want very much for it to
change. It's the wanting very much that hurts so badly, the
feeling of "I need this desperately," that paralyzes the
mind. The "I" who wants so much feels
isolated. Alone. Generous
acts are a relief because they connect. They are always in
relationship. They can't be isolating. And generous
acts don't require some thing to give away. I
understand the Buddha's statement "We all have something we
could give away" as including--in addition to material
possessions--companionship, comfort, encouragement, and
care. I think about realizing how the act of giving
wholeheartedly--whatever one has to give--not only does not
diminish one's resources, but can be lifesaving to both the
receiver and the giver of the gift. My
next-door neighbor, Jesse, died at home of colon cancer
twenty-five years ago. When I visited him just days before
he died, he explained, pointing to the bottles and hypodermic
needles arranged on his bedside table, that because he was a
physician, he was in charge of his own pain control. "This
is morphine," he said, "and I give it to myself when the
pain gets too terrible." He paused and looked at me as
if considering whether to go on. "Sometimes," he
said, "I think about killing myself. I could, you
know. It would be easy. I could just take too much
morphine. Each time I get ready to do it, though, I think of
someone else I need to tell something to. I have a friend in
Atlanta with a new business, and I have some good ideas for
him. And my nephew in L.A. has marriage problems. I
think I could help him. Sometimes I can't think of one more
thing I need to do, but then I think I might. So I
don't do it." I
recall that as Jesse and I visited, I was thinking about how kind
he was to be remembering his friends and their needs in the last
few days of his own life. I still remember him as kind, of
course, but now I also think Jesse was very lucky. What a
relief it must have been for him to fill his mind with ideas about
what he could do rather than with sad stories about
dying. I don't think that Jesse figured out, "The wise
thing for me to do so that I feel alive as long as I am
alive is to connect." I think he just did the wise
thing naturally. That's why I think he was lucky. And
I marvel at what the mind can do naturally, even in pain, even
foggy with morphine. Perhaps it's the awareness "I'm
going to die later today, or tomorrow" that wakes up the
mind's ability to pay attention. Maybe Generosity, really great
Generosity, is the expression of the deeply felt recognition that
I become part of your life when I give you something of mine and
you become part of my life when you accept it. In fact,
underneath this world full of people who appear to be separate,
living and dying individually, we are all part of life
unfolding. That's the insight that frees us from the
endless burden of worrying about ourselves: There is just us
to look after. . . . Generosity
practice was the idea of several members of the Wednesday morning
class at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, who decided--although
someone said, laughing, "I feel like a Girl Scout"--to
commit to doing five unscheduled acts of Generosity every
day. For the duration of the experiment, they reported back
to the group each week. Mostly they gave time. "I
let the person behind me in the bank have my place."
"I passed up a parking space because I could see the person
behind me wanted it." We decided that we wouldn't count
church dues, symphony support, or any other gifts that we give as
a matter of course and that don't require daily attention.
We were testing the hypothesis that the joy of generosity would be
heightened if looking for the opportunity to give something
to someone, planning to do it, doing it, and seeing
the response were all present. The people in the class said
it was exciting--like a treasure hunt with a time limit--and that
it was difficult. It required a lot of paying attention to
find five opportunities every day. They loved it. Perhaps
you'll try it. Here's a hint: Find a friend who'll
agree to do it with you and tell each other, often, how you're
doing. Paying attention to the question "Who is around
me that I can do something for?" connects us to the
world. Talking with friends about our goodness connects us
more deeply to each other.
|
|
Pay Attention, for Goodness’ Sake
is delightfully clear, accessible, and immediate,
as wise teachings should be,
and it is surely destined
to be a classic. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
Eyes
Wide Open
tom walsh
Happiness As
difficult as it usually is to deal with unhappy people, I suppose
we need to thank them for the model that they give us:
"If you act the way that I do, then you're going to be just
as unhappy and miserable as I am. You're going to live your
life filling your own heart and mind and body with poison that
will take over all that you are and never allow yourself to be
free and truly happy." These
role models are everywhere, and it's very sad to see them.
They spend their time trying to control others and outcomes
(especially children and spouses and the things that they do),
complaining about how unfair life is to them (even if their lives
are the result of their own actions and inactions), and even doing
their best to make other people miserable (misery does love
company--it's amazing how many of the old sayings are so true). Rather
than let these people affect me in negative ways, I try to learn
from them so that I won't be as miserable as they are. On
a very basic level, I learned a lot about this from smokers as I
grew up. Smoking did have its draw to me when I was young,
and I even tried it for a week or two when I was about
fifteen. But I had too many role models around me who taught
me about the long-term effects of smoking through the way that
they coughed for long periods of time every morning, through the
fact that they had to have oxygen tanks with them all the time
because of their emphysema, through the ways that they died of
lung cancer and suffered pretty horribly during the time before
their deaths. I
also learned about happiness from the drinkers who would end up
getting drunk and then doing things that affected them for a long
time. They might have thought that they were "having
fun" and getting the most out of life by going out and
getting drunk, but I was pretty sure that they weren't enjoying
themselves when they were throwing up into the toilet or out on
the street. And how many people have driven drunk, only to
kill or injure others when they've caused crashes? There are
very valuable lessons to learn about our actions in such
situations. I've
also learned about what happiness isn't from the people who hold
on to resentment and anger for long periods of time, always
blaming others for everything bad that has happened to them.
Lost the job? It's the boss's fault--he's a jerk.
Divorced? It's the wife's fault, damn her. Crashed the
car? Those people at GM just don't know how to build a safe
vehicle. Kids don't talk to her anymore? It's the ex's
fault, and that stupid woman that he married. These people
spend so much time blaming others that not only do they not have
time to look at their own actions (for they usually wouldn't like
what they see), but they also don't have time
to look around and enjoy the world around them and get the most
out of the lives they've been given. And they hurt others,
too--another action that causes them even more pain, that they
then also blame on others. There
have also been many lessons on happiness from the people I've met
who allow fear to rule their lives, who never take risks or try to
fulfill their dreams. Our society these days makes this very
simple to do--we're offered many outlets for passive
"enjoyment" of other people's achievements through
things like reality TV, movies, music, and other entertainment and
sports venues. It's a great day when my favorite record hits
number one or when my team moves into first place, but what have I
done today? If I base my fulfillment on other people's
actions and accomplishments, I'm pretty much bound to feel
frustrated and unfulfilled, though I'd probably never admit
it. It does show in my actions, though, in the ways that I
treat other people--especially when they dare to criticize my
favorite rock group or favorite hockey team. And
on the flip side of this, I've met many, many people who spend
their time trying to encourage people to live their own lives and
to do their own things. When bad things happen, they accept
them and try to learn from them, but they don't look for a
scapegoat to blame them on. They don't try to control others
and convince others to see things their way, as if their whole
purpose for existence is to try to get others to agree with them
about the faults of others. They forgive themselves their
own transgressions, and thus are able to truly forgive
others. They go through life enjoying the experience, not
focusing on negative things that keep them from seeing the beauty
and wonder of the world. So
the question is, of course, quite simple: which people are
to be my role models for how to live my life, and which people's
actions and attitudes will I learn from as lessons how not to live
my life? It really is up to me, isn't it? Especially
if I want to be happy and live a happy life. |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
Hope
is not the conviction that something will turn out well
but the
certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns
out. Vaclav
Havel |
| |
Lines
Written in Early Spring
William Wordsworth |
I
heard a thousand blended notes,
While in a grove I sate reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.
To her
fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think
What man has made of man.
Through
primrose tufts, in that green bower,
The periwinkly trailed its wreaths;
And 't is my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes. |
The
birds around me hopped and played,
Their thoughts I cannot measure:--
But the least motion which they made
It seemed a thrill of pleasure.
The
budding twigs spread out their fan,
To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.
If this
belief from heaven be sent,
If such be Nature's holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What man has made of man? |
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
|
| |
Failure is not a
single, cataclysmic event. We do not fail overnight.
Failure is the inevitable result of an accumulation of poor
thinking and poor choices. To put it more simply, failure is
nothing more than a few errors in judgment repeated every day.
Now why would someone make an error in judgment and then be so
foolish as to repeat it every day? The answer is because he
or she does not think that it matters.
On their own, our daily acts do not seem that important. A
minor oversight, a poor decision, or a wasted hour generally
doesn't result in an instant and measurable impact. More
often than not, we escape from any immediate consequences of our
deeds.
If we have not bothered to read a single book in the past ninety
days, this lack of discipline does not seem to have any immediate
impact on our lives. And since nothing drastic happened to
us after the first ninety days, we repeat this error in judgment
for another ninety days, and on and on it goes. Why?
Because it doesn't seem to matter. And herein lies the great
danger. Far worse than not reading the books is not even
realizing that it matters!
Those who eat too many of the wrong foods are contributing to a
future health problem, but the joy of the moment overshadows the
consequence of the future. It does not seem to matter.
Those who smoke too much or drink too much go on making these poor
choices year after year after year... because it doesn't seem to
matter. But the pain and regret of these errors in judgment
have only been delayed for a future time. Consequences are
seldom instant; instead, they accumulate until the inevitable day
of reckoning finally arrives and the price must be paid for our
poor choices - choices that didn't seem to matter.
Failure's most dangerous attribute is its subtlety. In the
short term those little errors don't seem to make any
difference. We do not seem to be failing. In fact, sometimes
these accumulated errors in judgment occur throughout a period of
great joy and prosperity in our lives. Since nothing
terrible happens to us, since there are no instant consequences to
capture our attention, we simply drift from one day to the next,
repeating the errors, thinking the wrong thoughts, listening to
the wrong voices and making the wrong choices. The sky did
not fall in on us yesterday; therefore the act was probably
harmless. Since it seemed to have no measurable consequence,
it is probably safe to repeat.
But we must become better educated than that!
If at the end of the day when we made our first error in judgment
the sky had fallen in on us, we undoubtedly would have taken
immediate steps to ensure that the act would never be repeated
again. Like the child who places his hand on a hot burner
despite his parents' warnings, we would have had an instantaneous
experience accompanying our error in judgment.
Unfortunately, failure does not shout out its warnings as our
parents once did. This is why it is imperative to refine our
philosophy in order to be able to make better choices. With a
powerful, personal philosophy guiding our every step, we become
more aware of our errors in judgment and more aware that each
error really does matter.
Now here is the great news. Just like the formula for
failure, the formula for success is easy to follow: It's a
few simple disciplines practiced every day.
Now here is an interesting question worth pondering: How can
we change the errors in the formula for failure into the
disciplines required in the formula for success? The answer
is by making the future an important part of our current
philosophy.
Both success and failure involve future consequences, namely the
inevitable rewards or unavoidable regrets resulting from past
activities. If this is true, why don't more people take time
to ponder the future? The answer is simple: They are
so caught up in the current moment that it doesn't seem to
matter. The problems and the rewards of today are so
absorbing to some human beings that they never pause long enough
to think about tomorrow.
But what if we did develop a new discipline to take just a few
minutes every day to look a little further down the road? We
would then be able to foresee the impending consequences of our
current conduct. Armed with that valuable information, we
would be able to take the necessary action to change our errors
into new success-oriented disciplines. In other words, by
disciplining ourselves to see the future in advance, we would be
able to change our thinking, amend our errors and develop new
habits to replace the old.
One of the exciting things about the formula for success - a few
simple disciplines practiced every day - is that the results are
almost immediate. As we voluntarily change daily errors into
daily disciplines, we experience positive results in a very short
period of time. When we change our diet, our health improves
noticeably in just a few weeks. When we start exercising, we
feel a new vitality almost immediately. When we begin
reading, we experience a growing awareness and a new level of
self-confidence. Whatever new discipline we begin to
practice daily will produce exciting results that will drive us to
become even better at developing new disciplines.
The real magic of new disciplines is that they will cause us to
amend our thinking. If we were to start today to read the
books, keep a journal, attend the classes, listen more and observe
more, then today would be the first day of a new life leading to a
better future. If we were to start today to try harder, and
in every way make a conscious and consistent effort to change
subtle and deadly errors into constructive and rewarding
disciplines, we would never again settle for a life of existence
– not once we have tasted the fruits of a life of substance!
|
|
Now in
paperback, Jim's all- time best selling book takes an
in-depth look into the reasons certain people succeed and
others don't. He covers the key components to success
- philosophy, attitude, activity, results and lifestyle. |
|
|
| |
|
Are
you looking for inspirational and motivational reading material?
There are many great books out there that are made to lift you up
and inspire you, and when this ad from Amazon works right, it
shows
you quite a few of the newest and most popular choices! When
it
isn't working right, it gives you a generic Amazon.com ad. . . .
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
When despair
for the world grows in me and I wake in the night
at the least sound in
fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down
where the wood drake rests in its beauty on the water,
and the great
heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not
tax
their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of
still water.
And I feel above me day-blind stars waiting for their
light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Wendell
Berry
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
Alone
in his car heading west, it's easy for Jason to feel sorry
for himself and mad at the world. But then he gives
a ride to Hector and learns life isn't as negative as we
sometimes see it. The friendship between this young
man and his 70-year-old passenger is an inspiring story of
love and of dealing with obstacles in life. It's a
story that you'll treasure long after you've finished
reading. Three
Cavaliers, Tom Walsh's second published novel, is now available in book form! Click
on the image to the left to order! |
|
A quick review:
I loved Tom Walsh's new book "Three
Cavaliers." It is a great story filled with excitment,
wisdom and tenderness. --L. Abeling
(Thanks, Louise!)
|
|
An excerpt:
Hector didn’t reply for several
very long moments. Jason
felt him searching, looking for something that could
explain one person to another person.
“When
I was fourteen,” Hector finally started, “two years
before my father died, Ana Maria came home from school and
she was crying very hard.
She said that a little boy had hit her and spit on
her and called her names like ‘spic’ and
‘wetback,’ names that I had been called a few times
but which did not bother me all that much.
They bothered my sister, though, and my mother took
her in her arms and comforted her.
As she held her there, I couldn’t imagine a more
peaceful sight, for my mother was the very picture of
peace and calm and love.
The sunlight was coming in through the window from
behind her, and I remember sitting on the couch and
watching them, feeling that deep sense of peace myself,
loving my mother more than ever.
In a few minutes my sister had cried herself to
sleep in her arms, and my mother brought her very gently
to the couch and lay her down on it, whispering to her the
whole time. She
kneeled down next to my sleeping sister and kissed her on
the forehead, and I could see in her eyes all of the peace
that she had just caused Ana to feel.
“Then
she stood up and turned to me and I almost yelled out in
fear, because her eyes were now filled with an anger such
as I had never seen before.
‘I need you to watch Ana Maria,’ she told me,
and her voice which had just been filled with peace and
calm and loving words was now filled with a rage that
matched that in her eyes.
‘I am going to that school and I am going to find
out who could do such a thing to my daughter, and why
nobody did anything about it.’
“I
was speechless. I
watched in awe as she went calmly to the closet and got a
sweater, then came over to me and kissed me on the
forehead. I
was even a bit afraid because she seemed like a bomb about
to explode, but when she touched me I felt none of her
anger at all, only love.
I knew that if my father had been that angry, he
would be yelling very loudly and even throwing things
around the room, but my mother was completely in control
of herself. I
think it was the control that gave me the most fear.
I could see just how much anger she had, but if I
had not known her as my mother I would not have seen it at
all. I was
afraid for the people at the school as she went out the
front door. I
watched her through the window as she walked away, and I
could see the energy and tension that she walked with.
I felt that I should call my father and tell him,
or call the school and warn them all to leave before she
got there, but I was only fourteen, so of course I did
nothing.
“She
came back almost two hours later, and I could see that she
was satisfied with what she had accomplished.
She never spoke another word of the incident to me,
or even to my sister, but I knew on that day that if I
ever needed anyone to support me in any way, my mother
would be there for me with all of her heart and soul.
I could not imagine anyone standing up against that
kind of anger without being very, very afraid of what
might happen. And
she seemed to have no fear of anything, especially when
her children were involved.
“In
a store once, I dropped a jar of pickles that I was
carrying for her. A
man from the store was standing very near to me, and he
turned around and saw what had happened.
He said, ‘That was a very stupid thing to do.’
“’Don’t
you ever talk to my son that way!’ my mother said
immediately. ‘Everyone
has dropped something in their lives, and I will not allow
you to insult my son for a simple mistake.’
I thought we were in trouble for sure, but the man
backed down. ‘I’m sorry, ma’am,’ he said.
‘I meant nothing by it.’
“’If
there is no meaning behind the words,’ my mother
answered, ‘then perhaps they should not be said at
all.” I have
always remembered those words.
They were full of wisdom—I recognized that, even
then. My
mother was a simple woman with very little schooling, but
she was a very wise woman.”
“She
sounds it,” Jason said.
“She sounds like a very marvelous woman.”
“Of
course she was marvelous.
She was a saint.
I told you that.”
Hector sounded surprised that Jason could have
forgotten such a thing.
“Right—you’re right.
Sorry about that.
I forgot.”
|
|
| |
|
