James Barrie

To accept the inevitable; neither to struggle against it nor murmur at it--this is the great lesson of life.

Dinah Mulock Craik

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom.  One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.

Sandra Carey

Do My Beliefs Serve Me?

We all live in the same reality, or so we're taught.  We share this planet and we share an incredible web of goods, services, and interactions every day that seem to say that we're all living in the same reality.  As I meet more and more people in my life, though, I'm coming to realize that this isn't necessarily true, that the realities we live in are significantly different from each other, even if our experiences are similar--or in some cases even identical.  This seems to be at least partly because the belief systems that we've developed have brought us to see the world as a reflection of our beliefs, and most of us no longer are able to see it as it truly is.

If I've accepted a belief such as "children are to be seen and not heard," for example, then I might see a crying child as a major disruption to my world.  On the other hand, if I've grown to believe that kids will be kids, I would look at the same crying child as a pretty normal part of the world, and not be too upset about it.  If I believe that politicians should be held to higher standards of ethics and morality, then I'll be pretty upset when any politician is involved in and ethical or moral scandal.  If I believe that politicians are human beings, too, and that they will make mistakes and bad decisions like anyone else, then a scandal won't be too difficult for me to take--I'll accept the experience with equanimity rather than being upset about it.

In this way, it's obvious how our beliefs affect our reactions to things around us--things that are completely out of our control most of the time.  Our beliefs can lead us to feeling upset, lost, frustrated, annoyed, or angry--if we allow them to do so.  All of these feelings, though, are ones that raise our stress level and cause us to lose our peace of mind, even if for just a time.

Beliefs also tend to cause the world to mirror back to us the way we perceive the world to be.  One who sees the world as a terrible place to live in, as a dark and dismal place, will tend to find dark and dismal situations all the time.  One who sees the world as a bright, happy, cheerful place will tend to find happy and cheerful situations as he or she goes through life.  There's an old story about a man who thought that a boy had stolen something from him--when he saw the boy, the boy walked like a thief, talked like a thief, and acted like a thief.  The man found the object that he thought the boy had stolen, and the next time he saw the boy, the boy walked and talked and acted just like any other young boy.  The man allowed his beliefs to color the world around him, and the presence of the boy caused him suspicion and anxiety until the "theft" was discovered not to have happened.

I used to believe that people didn't like to be around me--they didn't want to be my friends or spend time with me.  So I treated them according to that belief, never inviting them to do things with me, never calling anyone up to suggest that we get together.  And guess what?  People didn't search out my company at all, as a result of the way I treated them.  I didn't treat them poorly, but I certainly didn't present an inviting persona, either.  Since my beliefs have changed--I now believe that there are many people who would like to spend time with me--people treat me much differently in return.  My beliefs caused my situation to be what it was.

The saddest part of our beliefs is that most of them are borrowed, anyway.  People adopt the beliefs of their parents--especially religious beliefs--and never really take the time to ponder whether or not their parents' belief systems truly reflect what their heart tells them to be true.  Many people would be very surprised to find out that the answer isn't just "no," but a very firm and forceful "NO!"

One of my more recent goals in life is to begin to let go of beliefs.  I don't want to feel that there are ways that things "should" be, because the way I see things is different than any other person sees things.  Yes, there are many problems in the world, and I never would condone actions or attitudes that hurt other people, but my personal beliefs do nothing to help negative situations--only my actions to try to help others truly do help others.  My beliefs tend to keep me stuck in place, unable to see the other sides of stories, which is a situation that I don't want to be in any longer.

Do my beliefs serve me?  I honestly don't believe that they do.  The stronger the beliefs we carry, the more difficult it is to deal effectively with situations when our belief systems are violated by other people's actions.  The fewer beliefs that we hold to be true, the more open we can be to helping others who need our help, when they need it, and not simply on our terms--but in a way that will be most helpful to those who need the help.

While employers can teach people to do a job and provide in-service training so employees can update their skills, they can't mentor, teach, or coach employees to have a positive attitude.  That's why working on your attitude daily and having a positive impact on your organization, customers, and colleagues is so important to your future employability.

Unfortunately, when asked to define a positive attitude, many employers find it difficult to put into words what they mean.  Instead, they use words like "happy" and "enjoyable to be around" when describing a person with a positive attitude.  Since our attitude affects our behavior, which in turn is demonstrated by our performance, it's no wonder that attitude is so important in the business world.  It determines how we do our jobs.

Some employees may resist this notion, believing that no one has the right to tell them how to think. This is correct.  Employers do not have the right to evaluate our inner thoughts and feelings.  However, they do have the right to evaluate how we behave as a result of those thoughts and feelings.

Employers and organizations also have the right to expect that an employee's behavior and performance will have a positive impact upon their organization.  Why?  All would agree that an organization comprised of employees who have a negative influence on their customers and co-workers will not be in business for very long.  But organizations whose employees have a positive impact on their co-workers, their customers, and their company will enjoy many years of success.

Separate Attitudes from Actions
Is it possible to display a positive attitude even if you're feeling sad, depressed, or angry?  Of course.  Employees constantly find themselves in situations where they simply cannot let their internal feelings influence their actions.  Put yourself in these situations.  Would you like your surgeon to be all thumbs because he was upset with his wife?  Or a fireman to drive slowly when you called in an alarm because he was tired? Or your lawyer to argue your case poorly because she didn't feel like talking today?  Or the lifeguard to daydream about getting a new job instead of paying attention while your child was swimming?  These people are required to behave in a certain, prescribed way regardless of their attitude.  And we certainly expect them to do that-no matter what.

But how do you stay enthusiastic and excited about your job if you've been at it for a while and things at work or at home are not going perfectly?  Remember, when actors are on stage, they know they must be so good at what they do that their performance will set them apart from the rest of the cast and make them memorable.  No matter how famous and successful an actor may be, he or she is always aware of an understudy waiting in the wings, eager to take over the role the moment that actor begins to deliver a performance that is less than top quality.

In today's world of downsizing and layoffs, we all have understudies-people who would love to take our place and play the part the job requires. To remain employable, you must make sure you are one of your organization's "star performers." Your customers also have the right to a star performance because they are your audience. After all, that's really what your paycheck is: a reward for playing your part well. Can your organization count on you, as a professional, to be a star performer?

Now, this doesn't mean you should be phony or just go through the mechanical motions of acting out your part. No employer wants an office full of robots, but they also don't want people who bring their negative feelings to work every day. Think of what a different workplace we could create if everyone came to work and focused on the job at hand instead of allowing our internal attitudes to affect our performance.

To Stay Positive, Avoid Negative People
Is attitude, whether positive or negative, contagious? You bet! From your own experience, think about how you feel when you have to work with a negative person. Do you remember times when someone else's negativity influenced your own performance that day? Even though you may love your job and you're proud of the products and services you deliver, you probably felt that you and your organization weren't doing their best. And if you had to work with a negative person for a long period of time, their poor attitude may have even made you want to quit your job. That's the power a negative attitude can have on us.

If you have to work with negative people, try to limit additional interactions. You are not obligated to carpool with them, go to lunch with them, or spend time with them after work. Part of your responsibility as a professional is to be the kind of employee that others are not trying to get away from, but rather, to be a positive person with whom they enjoy working and seek out.

With two thousand to three thousand people losing their jobs every day, now is not the best time to be perceived as having a negative attitude, so avoid those people who can cast that shadow on you. If you're going to become a positive influence on your co-workers and customers, you must take time to evaluate your interactions with others and their effects on your organization as a whole.

Your Positive Attitude is Your Best Motivation
You may not realize it, but your performance has the power to make or break your organization. Your attitude can be your greatest asset or your greatest liability. Unaware of that, employees often say, "My job is hard work. And my organization doesn't even try to motivate me to do my best." Today's organizations realize that it is not their responsibility to motivate employees because motivation cannot come from the outside. Motivation is "an inside job." This means that employees should not have to be coddled or coerced into working hard and doing an excellent job. A valuable employee, the kind an organization would work hard to hire and retain, is self-motivated.

The bottom line is that today's employers are looking for employees who:

• Want to work;
• Enjoy what they do;
• Take pride in their organization, their products, and their services;
• Care about their customers and their co-workers;
• Are the kind of team player others like to be around;
• Make work a better place by their good humor, dependability, integrity, and their ability to be a positive influence through their words and actions.

Connie Podesta is an author, counselor, educator, humorist, playwright, consultant, songwriter, actress and trainer. She radiates a super-charged, high-energy presence that immediately involves people and has them responding to her exciting challenge to reach for the best in themselves! Take advantage of Connie's straight forward, yet entertaining message that will have a profound effect not only on you, but on your loved ones, your company and your staff. For more information visit http://conniepodesta.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439.
Reproduced with permission from the Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine.

Thoughts in the air
Don't disappear
You call them close
By holding them near
Invisible guests
Living in your mind
Can't stay long
If they're not your kind
You have the right
Of making your choice
See it command it
With a strong inner voice

Sandra Imperatore

In the year 1723, a 17-year-old boy arrived in Philadelphia without a penny to his name.  At the age of 42, he retired, wealthy.  During his lifetime, he also became the country's most outstanding statesman, scientist, and philosopher.  He helped draft the Declaration of Independence and was one of its signers.  He was the first American success of the Horatio Alger variety.  He was, of course, Benjamin Franklin.

Just starting out and deeply in debt, but having an inventive mind, he looked for the essential principles of successful living.  After much thought and study, he devised a method so simple, yet at the same time so practical, that anyone can use it.

He chose 13 principles--13 subjects--that, if he could master them, he felt would lead to the success he sought.  He gave a week's strict attention to each one, so that he could practice the entire list of 13 subjects four times a year.  When he was 79 years old, he wrote more about this idea than anything else that ever happened to him in his entire life--he devoted 15 pages to it--for to this list and the way he practiced it, he felt that he owed all his success and happiness.  He ended by writing, "I hope, therefore, that some of my descendants may follow the example and reap the benefit."

So, if you'd like to be as successful as Ben Franklin, here's his list of 13 principles.  Practice each in order for a week, going through the list four times a year, every year.

Temperance:  Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Silence:  Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

Order:  Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

Resolution:  Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Frugality:  Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.

Industry:  Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

Sincerity:  Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly; and if you speak, speak accordingly.

Justice:  Wrong none by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Moderation:  Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Cleanliness:  Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.

Tranquility:  Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents.

Chastity.

Humility:  Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

No one, before or since, has ever been more successful than Benjamin Franklin.  He gave the credit to that list of 13 principles, each to be practiced in order for a week at a time, so that all of them can become habits.  They'll work as well today as they did then.