Many people today don't want honest answers insofar as honest means unpleasant or disturbing.  They want a soft answer that turneth away anxiety.

Louis Kronenberger

It is an illusion to think that more comfort means more happiness.  Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to be needed.

Storm Jameson

That some good can be derived from every event is a better proposition than that everything happens for the best, which it assuredly does not.

James K. Feibleman

Good day, and welcome to the end of October!  This month is
quickly coming to an end, and we want you to know just how much
we appreciate the fact that you've shared a part of your life with
us by visiting us here and sharing in the material in this zine!

Revealing Your True Beauty
Larry Dubitsky

Rattlesnake
tom walsh

Encouragement--The Helium of Life
Bernie Siegel

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A mask is a false self-image that lies both to you and to the world.  Some people wear a mask of victimization.  Other people wear masks of detachment.  Others wear masks that reflect the trappings of a group, class, or ideology with which they identify.  As you wander from one social scene to another you might find cowards using macho masks and people of prejudice creating masks of welcome.  The mask become the presentation of our persona to the outside world.  Unfortunately, sometimes the persona we present to others is not the persona we really are.

Why do we wear masks?  The answer is simple.  Many of us feel we are not good enough, smart enough, and nobody likes us.  So, we create a fiction.  The mask hides who we really are.  We really are good enough, smart enough, and likable, because our essence is love.  But we don't believe that.  We don't believe that we are innocent, holy children of God, worthy of love, respect, and acceptance, because of who we naturally are.

Most masks are not held firmly in place; sometimes they slip.  In the TV show Keeping Up Appearances, Hyacinth, the main character, tries to wear an upper-class mask, but it doesn't fit well; it keeps giving way to the tugs of her lower-class family's soap operas.  We laugh.  A lot of comedy describes mask slippage, or loss of face as it is more commonly called.

I was invited to a Salon not long ago.  The idea of a Salon is to create a gathering of people who have common interests.  They gather together to share ideas.  

During the two-minutes introductory talk that each person gave, the masks were held on tightly.  They seemed to fit well; they were convincing.  But during the general discussion, however, emotions were stirred deeply within most of the participants.  Some of the masks started slipping; others fell off onto the floor and were quickly picked up and put back on again.  Others exploded from the inside out.  Inner emotional spasms threw one mask against the wall (figuratively) and shattered it into many pieces.  The mask was irretrievable.  This person spent the remainder of the evening trying to make another mask, one that would bolster his or her image and also convince others that he or she was really a pussycat.  The person spent a lot of time trying to erase the image of the hyena that emerged when the first mask disintegrated.

It was a very interesting experience to see people present themselves to a group as one kind of person, and then in the heat of argument become another.  One of them was a "goody two-shoes," who metamorphosed into a lioness.

Most of the world has an inferiority complex.  We are taught incessantly that we have to do better today than we did yesterday, and we have to do better tomorrow than we did today.  Few people believe they are good enough just the way they are.

All of us, at one time or another, have met people who have thrown away their masks.  They are spontaneous, loving, and happy.  They have accepted themselves as they are and live in a state of "Being."  Their company is joyous and inspirational.  The only difference between them and us is that they know they are good enough, smart enough, and likable.

Larry Dubitsky has written prolifically and lectured extensively on both spiritual topics and artistic principles.  He has been a student and teacher of A Course in Miracles since 1977.  He has taught countless Course materials over the years.  In his role as art teacher, he has given lectures on the topics of figure drawing, watercolor techniques, and picture composition to many art groups both in New York and Florida.  You can see his artwork at www.larrydubitsky.com.

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Rattlesnake

I was at a cross-country meet recently with our high school team in Parker, Arizona, when one of the runners told me she had just seen a rattlesnake.  Since I love snakes and hadn't seen a rattlesnake in the wild in years, I got kind of excited, so she took me to show it to me.  It was huge--easily the biggest rattler I'd ever seen in its natural habitat--and it was coiled beneath the branches of a bush that had lost most of its leaves for the fall.

We were able to get quite close to it, given the fact that there were thick branches between us and it.  A couple of times it even rattled to warn us to stay away when our feet cracked a branch or when it thought we were getting a bit too close for its comfort.  When that happened, we backed up a few inches and continued to share some time with this marvelous serpent.  Since we were so close, we were able to see many details that I haven't seen so clearly, even in zoos--the tongue darting in and out, the intricate patterns of its skin, the rattle at the end of its tail that lay atop its body in its coiled position, the graceful curves of its neck as it raised its head to be able to determine whether we were a threat or not.  It was a magnificent creature.

Then I went and got my wife and brought her to see it, and she was able to enjoy its presence, also.

As I walked away, I started to think of just how dangerous the encounter hadn't been.  We had kept our distance, and we had been careful not to provoke the snake into feeling that it had to defend itself.  We had pretty carefully looked at the situation and determined the limits of what we could do--the thick branches made it impossible for the snake to strike us, so we were completely safe where we were standing.  We had a wide-open space behind us, so if the snake did start coming after us (highly unlikely--snakes prefer to avoid confrontation!), we had plenty of time and space to move very far away very quickly.  We also had respect for the animal, and we only wanted to see it, not to bother it.

And I thought of what kinds of actions would have made our encounter dangerous or even tragic.  If we had tried to get closer or tried to improve our view by moving branches, we would have given the snake the wrong message, and the snake could have struck out in defense.  If we had tried to provoke the snake into moving or rattling more by poking it with a stick or throwing rocks at it, we also could have provoked a dangerous response--or at the very least caused it to leave, thus ruining our chance to share some time with it.

And I could see very clearly just how similar this situation was to the rest of our lives--how much of what happens to us in life is the direct result of actions that we decide to take, words we decide to say, or precautions that we decide aren't necessary?  How many of the "bad" things that happen to us are the result of our own silliness or carelessness or ignorance?

That rattlesnake would have caused us harm only if we would have provoked it or if we would have done something silly that seemed to be provocation.  People we know react very often to things that seem to be something that they see as threatening, and their reactions can be very harmful to us if we aren't careful.  But if we are careful, if we do look at the situation and make educated decisions about what actions we should or should not take, then we can keep ourselves out of harm's way.

I know some people who wouldn't have gone to look at the snake because they would have thought it was "too dangerous."  They never would have learned that it wasn't dangerous at all, as long as we followed our common sense and acted very carefully.  Rattlesnakes are gentle creatures who prefer to avoid confrontation, but who will defend themselves when provoked; but then, how many of us aren't willing to do the same thing when someone provokes us?

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What is the thing that can make your life feel like a balloon ride?  What brings you the sensation of floating free, silently carried by the wind?  What lifts your spirits and allows you to overcome difficulties?  The answer is very simple:  encouragement.

That's right, encouragement.  Not success.  Knowing that our efforts are appreciated is more important than being successful.  Encouragement removes the burdens we carry and allows us to go on with confidence.  Hemingway is supposed to have said that confidence is the memory of past success, and I agree that success can beget success.  But think about very young children:  They don't have any past successes.  If we need success to be successful, then how did any of us ever learn to walk?  What made you get up again, each time you fell?

The key element in encouragement is to stop being judgmental.  The important thing isn't the grade your son got; it's the effort he put out.  It isn't whether your daughter hit a home run; it's that she went up to the plate and took a swing.  The effort is what matters, because as long as we are trying we are fulfilling our mission.  "Examine me, O Lord, and try me," the Psalmist wrote. . . .

Our children are better than they think.  What kind of mirror do we hold up to them?  Do we point out all their faults and problems, or do we point out their beauty and successes?  What do you say to your kids when they walk out the door?  Stand up straight?  Fix your pants?  Did you forget your lunch or your books?  Do you ever say, "You're a beautiful person. God and I are proud of you."

A friend tells me he tries to encourage his children, but his fourteen-year-old daughter doesn't believe him when he tells her how wonderful she is.  Two-year-olds don't doubt you when you hold out your hands and tell them they can walk, but it can be trickier encouraging older children or spouses or adult friends.  Giving encouragement, like other forms of loving, sometimes requires creativity. . . .

Here is a prescription for encouraging the people you love:  Say good things about them to their faces and behind their backs.  And don't worry about exaggerating.  An overdose of love has no recorded adverse side effects.

Alone in his car heading west, it's easy for Jason to feel sorry for himself and mad at the world.  But then he gives a ride to Hector and learns life isn't as negative as we sometimes see it.  The friendship between this young man and his 70-year-old passenger is an inspiring story of love and of dealing with obstacles in life.  It's a story that you'll treasure long after you've finished reading.

Three Cavaliers, Tom Walsh's second published novel, is now available in book form!  Click on the image to the left to order!

     But then he noticed Hector’s bag still on the floor.  He sat up and put his seat back in its upright position.  He looked out the windows and he spied Hector sitting on a picnic table, his feet on the bench and his elbows on his thighs, his hands together with the fingers intertwined as he stared off into the distance.  Behind the rest area was a large field of grass that easily could have reached to Jason’s chest if he were to walk in it, and behind that started a forest.  Hector stared in that direction, and Jason imagined him at that moment a dreamer, a poet searching for inspiration or searching for words that would make his inspiration a reality, something tangible.
     He got slowly out of the car, knowing that his legs would be worse now than they had been.  He had to go to the bathroom, but he wanted to check in with Hector first.  He took his first few steps very slowly to get his walking legs back, and then he went over to the picnic table where Hector sat.  He sat down, too, not saying a word, and looked out at the grass and the forest.
     “Hello, amigo mío,” Hector said quietly.  “You have slept?”
     “I have slept,” Jason replied.  “I slept pretty well, too,” he fibbed, not wanting Hector to worry that he might be too sleepy to drive.
     “That is good,” Hector said, not removing his gaze from the scene before him.
     “What are you looking at?” Jason asked after a few long moments.
     Hector shrugged.  “I do not know,” he said.  “I am not looking so much as I am thinking.  I never have seen this particular field before, or that forest behind it.  I am wondering what kind of life there is right before me that I cannot even see.  In that grass must live many snakes, insects, birds, perhaps even foxes and mice and other animals.  In the forest beyond, how many different creatures are living their lives right at this moment, with no idea at all that I am sitting here watching the edges of their world?  And they do not care that I watch.  It does not matter to them because it does not affect them.  Why are we trained to see only the surfaces of things and people without regard for the life that is deeper than the surface?  When we learn to live life that way, we lose the opportunity to see and feel the very essence of life, the very depths of life that we only can guess at because we do not see it.”
     “Maybe it’s too scary for us,” Jason said.  “Maybe if we were able to see the depths, we’d lose our minds.  Go insane.”
     Hector turned to him slowly and regarded him very curiously.  “That is a very wise thing that you say,” he told Jason.  “I am very impressed with your insight.”
     “Thanks,” Jason said awkwardly, not sure if Hector was being serious or was joking with him.
     “You are welcome,” Hector replied, turning back around and returning his gaze to the scene before him.  “The question is, though:  What is so wrong with losing our minds?  Just what are we trying to preserve by not losing them?”
     Jason laughed.  “That’s a good question.  Sometimes I wonder.  Sometimes the people that other people call ‘flakes’ seem to be much happier than the ones we all call ‘normal.’  I think sometimes it’s good to be weird.”
     “Personally, I would not be any other way,” Hector said.  “I want to be weird always, for only in weirdness can we find the normal.  We all are trained to see the world in certain ways, and that keeps us from seeing the world as it really is.  And we create these carefully controlled façades for ourselves that become so normal that it makes me sick sometimes to see them.  In order to become ‘normal,’ people have sacrificed their sense of play, their ability to have fun, their willingness to try different things and to take risks.  It is so very sad.”