We don't know who we are
until we see what we can do.

Martha Grimes

We’ve all felt the tug at our hearts at one time or another--that emptiness from deep inside telling us we want something more from this life.  Sometimes we move beyond it by putting our fears aside and claiming our heart’s desire.  Other times we continue to disguise our true identity and build layer upon layer of illusions and untruths about who we really are.  It’s on this very bargaining table that we lose sight of the beauty in our uniqueness.  We come to believe we’re not worthy of all the greatness our heart and soul yearns to enjoy. 

For many of us, outer experiences and influences play a heavy part in determining our direction and to some degree, even our self-worth.  Seamlessly our original visions become shaped, molded and minimized. A good example of this is when you watch a young child at play.  They have a curious energy about them.  They laugh a lot, breathe in the adventure of life and explore the things they want to.  They know no limits.  Anything is possible in the eyes of a child.  They dream big dreams and they believe.  They always believe! 

But, as we grow into life, we slowly lose the child in us.  We allow the “good opinion of others” to cast a shadow on both our dreams and our capabilities. 

The reality is we are the experts on our life and no one knows what’s best for us.  Only we do!  The authentic power to do anything we want lies within us.  Sadly, we neglect this important piece of child-like wisdom and step down from the many opportunities life has to offers us.  Our internal conversation goes something like:  What would they think?  What if I fail?  Who am I to deserve this? 

Observe the next time you stop yourself from doing something that scares (yet excites) you.  I’m sure you’ll have a brilliant excuse as to why you shouldn’t go for it but make no mistake there is a tape being played, deep within the recesses of your mind.  These debilitating thoughts will play over and over again and hold you back in life until you acknowledge what’s going on and choose to re-write your “script”. 

If we don’t come to recognize when we’re allowing self-limiting behaviour to guide us, we’ll continue to operate from a place of smallness.  And, it’s in this place that we don’t grow from our experiences but instead, we’re held captive by them. 

As the saying goes, “if you tell a lie long enough you’ll eventually start to believe it”.  This also applies to any false illusions you have about yourself. 

What if you looked in the mirror saw only beauty?  And decided to love the person staring back at you, unconditionally?  What if you focused on all of your natural gifts and chose to make this life extraordinary?  …Starting today, right now, you began living your life on your own terms?   Never settling for anything less than everything to you?  How different would your life be?    

Too many of us die in our 20’s and are buried in our 80’s.  We forget to take the time, daily, to plant seeds of passion in our lives.  To chase our dreams and dare to grow beyond our false illusions about whom we really are. We get caught up in the cycle that I like to call, creative sabotage where we find (creative) ways to undermine our abilities, underestimate our potential and convince ourselves that we’re not worthy, capable or ready for the life we could have.   

According to the latest scientific research, the average person uses only 1/100th of 1% of their brainpower over the course of their lives.  Yes you read right….1/100^th of 1% !!!

Respected researcher Ivan Yefremov has confirmed, "we could, without difficulty, learn 40 languages, memorize a set of encyclopedias from A to Z and complete the required courses of dozens of colleges."

Amazing isn’t it?  We don’t even come close to utilizing our abilities and potential.

It is from a place of love and appreciation for the unique and special person you are that I say the following words to you:

This is your life.  It’s the only one you’re given.  Look for opportunities to grow and don’t be discouraged in your efforts to do so.  Make daily deposits of love, passion and gratitude in your life and choose to be on the cutting edge of your destiny.  Take some risks.  Uncover the child in you.  Focus on your strengths; collect your history of broken pieces and re-create your dreams!   Yes, your dreams!  Because they matter and you are worthy! 

There comes a moment when you must break free and make a stand for who you really are.  That moment is now!  A bigger life is only a choice away!  

Lisa Holba, Founder of Dream It-Do It, is a Personal and Career Coach.  You can visit her at http://www.dreamit-doit.ca

Watching the News

There's a study that I'd like to do one day, and if I ever have enough time, I'll do it.  The study will be quite simple:  I want to find out what percentage of our news broadcasts and papers are devoted to what percentage of our population.

Here's my hunch:  I'm pretty sure that I'll find that over 90% of our news--broadcast and print--is devoted to less than one or two per cent of our people.

I'll find that most of the space is devoted to very few people--criminals, politicians, entertainers, athletes, and victims of things like plane and auto crashes.

But is that stuff all that "news" consists of?

When was the last time you saw a headline like this:  "Forty-five Lives Saved in City Hospitals"?  Or:  "Teachers Help Blind Students Cope in Society"?  Or:  "Police Officers Prevent Bloodshed in Domestic Dispute"?  These things are news to me, the kind of news that reaffirms our humanity and our dedication to each other.

But news people put these things in the "human interest" category, running a feature article about something like this every once in a while.  But these are daily occurrences, not things that happen seldom.  We just hardly ever hear of them, because the news people decide just what we see and hear.

I recently watched a one-hour news program out of Boston, and by the end of it, I was convinced of two things:  nothing good ever happens in Boston, and I didn't ever want to watch the news again.  People dying, crime, hatred, anger, and sports and weather and entertainment.  Was there no uplifting news that day?  Nobody accomplished anything new or different?

I swore off the Boston Globe one Sunday morning, when the front page--the main story--featured a detailed article about a gory murder that had happened one year earlier.  The one-year anniversary was nothing more to them than an opportunity to drag out old news and display it as something new, sensationalizing a brutal, disgusting, horrible act and its consequences in order to get a rise out of their readers--playing with their emotions--under the guise of "journalism."  Not only did it not seem like news, but the fact that they made it a front-page story was appalling.

The journalists will swear by their old story, the one they fall back on whenever anyone criticizes them and their practices--they're just giving people what they want.  But I can't believe that they know what people want--people have never really been given much of an option, much of a chance to give feedback.  And if they do criticize, they hear the old story again.  I know that USA Today makes for interesting reading because of the diversity of the stories that they offer; it's also been quite successful.  They also spent a lot of time researching what people wanted in papers.  Readers Digest has been extremely successful while focusing on uplifting stories about everyday people and their lives.  Unfortunately, it seems that our news media are unwilling to follow suit and focus on the positive.

How many names make it into a major newspaper each year?  Even if the number reaches a million, that's still fewer than 1/2 of 1% of the population of the United States.  And how many column inches have been devoted to Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinski, to O.J. Simpson's trial, to the Columbine tragedy, and to other "major" stories of the last few years.  What percentage of the "news" did these stories take up?  Think of the number of individuals directly involved, and then think of whether or not that number merits the time given.

If just half of the time and energy that went into covering the Clinton debacle or the Simpson trial had been devoted to positive, uplifting news and "human interest" stories, how much might we have been uplifted and encouraged by stories of people who have succeeded in making a real difference in the lives of others?  And we certainly wouldn't have missed anything about the other stories--even at half the amount, we still would have learned more about both than we needed to, than would help us in the long term as human beings living our lives.

Another question I have to ask is what percentage of our population murders or attempts to murder, and how much of our news is dedicated to people like that?  I know that if I'm ever able to do the story, I'll find that they receive a disproportional amount of coverage, which may even be a partial cause of further violence--many people are so desperate for attention that they'll take desperate measures in order to get it.  And if someone who already feels isolated and alone sees the amount of attention given to someone who's committed a violent act. . . .

Thoreau wrote a century and a half ago that he didn't feel papers were worth reading, and that if we want to live full lives, we'll give up reading about strangers.  In "Life without Principle" he wrote:  "the news we hear, for the most part, is not news to our genius.  It is the stalest repetition. . . . Such is the daily news.  Its facts appear to float in the atmosphere, insignificant as the sporules of fungi. . . . We should wash ourselves clean of such news."  His basic premise is that if the news doesn't help us to grow as human beings, if it doesn't enrich our lives, then it's useless.

You see, we're being fed information, not news.  Reading about yesterday's car accident was just the same as reading about the one three months ago, and the one four months ago; only the names and locations have changed.  This year's mass murderer isn't anything new, yet the media want you to think he is--that will sell more papers.  Even monsters like Dahmer are not without their predecessors who did even worse things than they did.

But what does that mean to us in the context of this website?  Why write a column like this in an encouraging setting?  Mostly for awareness, I believe--what we pour into our brains stays there and helps to determine how we feel.  Reading about murder and crime tends to keep us focused on those things, and tends to keep our perspective dark and grim.  I strongly believe that we can help make this world a better place to live only by encouraging and helping each other out to find out who we are and what we want out of life, and to help each other accomplish what we wish to accomplish.  If we fill our minds with the violence and anger and deception, we get a false view of humanity, and we lose a bit of our ability to focus on those positive things--the neighbors who helped you out, the family members who have been there for you, the woman in the store who went out of her way to help you with something.  Our lives are full of positive, loving experiences, and we can't let our media mislead us about human nature by focusing on the abnormal.  Think your thoughts, and develop your perspective--don't see what you read as the norm, because it certainly isn't that.

Of course, don't ignore the bad and the evil--we have to deal with that--but let's deal with it to the degree at which it occurs, which is far less often than a newscast would lead you to believe.  The next time you watch the news and see all the bad things they focus on, ask yourself this--how many people aren't on the news who did something great today?

I caught my first bug of the year the other day.  I am not talking about a cold bug either.  It was an actual bug that I found crawling around my sink.  They always start to show up this time of the year as the warm Spring days begin to appear.  I was able to catch my little insect pal in a paper towel and set him free outside.  I believe that if they don't try to sting me I shouldn't try to kill them.  I get some strange looks from people for doing this, but I don't mind.  I get the same looks when I pick up trash as I walk along the street, when I swerve my lawn mower to miss little toads and patches of wild flowers, and when I stop my car to move a turtle off the road.

People may think that I am strange for doing these things, but for me they are a natural part of living a loving life.  I wouldn't want to live any other way.  The rewards for living in love are too great for me to give them up just because of what others think.  Love truly is its own reward.

When you are loving and giving life becomes more beautiful and wonderful than you can ever imagine.  When you live in love, everyday is full of joy.  When you live in love you are filled with energy and vitality.  When you live in love outside things don't trouble you as much because of the powerful goodness and delight that is within you.  When you live in love optimism, enthusiasm, peace, and happiness fill your heart, mind, and soul.  When you live in love you grow closer to God with each passing day.

Living in love is a choice we all can make.  It is a choice that makes life worth living.  It is a choice that benefits ourselves, others, and the world.  It is a choice that makes God smile.  Make that choice today.  Live your life in glorious love and fantastic joy, and always remember that love is its own reward.