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1 May 2007 |
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The
ultimate lesson we all have to learn is unconditional
love, which includes not only others but ourselves as
well.
Elisabeth
Kuebler-Ross |
It
is not the brains that matter most, but that which guides
them-- character, the heart, generous qualities,
progressive ideas.
Feodor
Dostoevsky |
It's not true that nice
guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the
game even starts.
Addison Walker
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Do
You Need More Time?
Helaine Iris
"I
don't have enough time in my day." If only I
received a nickel each time I heard those words.
Come to think of it, I do. Sort of.
Plenty
of smart, successful people hire me to help them deal with
the issue of time management. Some have read the
latest time management books. Most use the perfect
day-planner or latest hand-held computer. Yet, they
still struggle with the ever-shrinking twenty-four hour
day.
Even
I, on occasion, have suspected some sort of global
conspiracy to rob me of my most precious commodity.
Do each of us really get only 24 hours in each day?
I'm certain some fortunate souls get more. And some,
it seems, get far less. Have you ever wondered why?
Having
more time. Is it really as simple as learning a few
new skills? Is it enough to make your daily list,
prioritize that list and check them off as they're
completed? I don't think so.
I
propose the root of the problem lies not with a lack of
time but with how you experience your life in relation to
time. How is your experience of time different when
your day is filled with things you love to do versus
filled with things you feel you HAVE to do.
Already,
I can hear you passionately interjecting.
"Helaine,
be realistic. How can I only do things I love to
do? I have to work. There are mouths to feed,
tasks to achieve and responsibilities to fulfill.
People rely on me."
I
agree, and here's a taste of some foundational strategies
I invite my clients to adopt in conjunction with any time
management program. I challenge you to consider how
these strategies might positively shift your thinking
about not only managing your time but enjoying it.
You
Come First
This
strategy applies to everyone. People do rely on
you. Which is why it's so important to take care of
you first. Surely, you're aware of the golden goose
idea. It serves no one to starve the goose.
Oprah
said it better in a recent "O Magazine"
article. "If you allow yourself to be depleted
to the point where your emotional and spiritual tank is
empty and running on fumes of habit, everybody
loses. Especially you."
Our
culture teaches otherwise, but the paradox is that you owe
it to yourself and those who rely upon you to become more
selfish. Yes. Selfish. You can put
yourself at the top of your list without being mean or
taking away from those who are most important to you.
Just
let the idea sink in. I'll admit, in practice, it's
not easy initially. But try it for 30 days. I
can almost guarantee your life will look and feel
dramatically more fulfilling than it does today.
The
Purpose-Driven Life
Yes,
it's a recent best-selling book. But it's also a
strategy I've been teaching my clients long before the
book was published. Your life is always being shaped
and driven by something. For most, it's the past --
beliefs and habits based upon survival and fear.
There's
another option. You decide what's going to shape and
drive your life. You choose the vision for what your
life is to be about, the values you hold most sacred and
the kind of person you are to be. And you allow
those three to shape and drive your actions in each
moment. Life becomes much more joyful and productive
when you can filter out all the things that are not in
alignment with your self-defined life purpose.
Just
Say No
Once
you've determined what's important to you and how you want
to spend your time you'll need to protect it.
Despite my aforementioned conspiracy theory, the fact is
everyone gets the same 24 hours in a day. It's up to
you decide how you'll invest those hours. And if you
can't say no, you'll end up doing some things you don't
want to do. Learning to say no creates boundaries
that preserve precious time and will serve you and your
purpose.
Be
Here Now
Ram
Dass brought this idea to the fore in the early seventies
with his book, "Be Here Now." As busy
humans living in the 21st century, the concept is no less
important. We are geared and driven to do, do,
do. The one who gets the most toys wins.
There's a balancing perspective to add to the formula,
however. Be-ing.
How
might your experience of time, regardless of what you're
doing, feel different if you were aware, present in the
moment and full of a sense of be-ing? In other
words, conscious of you -- your essence, your presence.
Get
It off Your Mind and into a System
If
it's on your mind, it's draining your energy.
Keeping what you have to do on your mind creates mental
stress. Think of your brain as the RAM of your
computer. There's only so much it can hold until it
crashes. Not only does your brain get clogged with
the 100 things you have to do, it can't differentiate
between their importance. Utilize a trustworthy
collection system for your priorities, projects and tasks.
There
are many time management systems available. Whether
it's a notebook you carry around, a mini tape recorder or
a PDA, use a system to keep your brain available for
higher functions. It's important to find one that
fits your style and needs. For example, if you are
technologically challenged, perhaps a computer-based time
management system isn't the best bet for you.
As
another example, if you are not a morning person it might
be more prudent to schedule your most important tasks
later in the day, if possible. Think of a time
management system as a pair of shoes. Make it fit
comfortably and support you as much as possible.
Can
you identify which of these foundations would be a good
place for you to start? Where do you need the
most support? The result of these perspectives
could open a new relationship to time and a more purpose
driven life. Why not give it a try?
It's
YOUR life. . . . live it completely!
Helaine
Iris is a certified Life Coach, writer and teacher who
loves her life. She
works with
individuals and self-employed professionals who
want to thrive in their business while crafting a life
that's in absolute alignment with their highest ideals,
deepest values and gracefully masters the complexities of
modern living. For a solution focused complimentary
session visit her
website at http://www.pathofpurpose.com, call her
603-357-8546,
or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com
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Pathways
to Determination
Steve Brunkhorst
I
saw him sitting on an evergreen branch outside my window
as the Saturday morning sunrise lit up the new-fallen snow
as it would a carpet sprinkled with sparkling jewels.
He
seemed so tiny and alone, a silhouette against the
dazzling eastern sky. As the sun rose higher, I
could see he was a small snowbird, obviously apart from
his fellows who usually assemble and play in groups.
Joyfully, they flit about upon the snow, find pieces of
grain, and huddle together for warmth.
Watching
him brought memories of a time when I felt very small and
alone. . . .
It
was my first college year of clinical practice as a
student therapist. I had to write and turn in
reports on each patient I worked with in the University
clinic.
As
children, we often shuddered when a teacher returned our
reports with a few big red marks signaling our
errors. However, Dr. Wilson, a man whom I will
always remember and admire, returned my clinical
reports. He gave my first reports so many red marks
that they looked like they had the measles!
One
day, he said, "To write well, you need to read a lot
and write a lot -- and when you see these red marks, know
that they are there because I believe in you. You
won't need to make these mistakes again. Just pay
attention to them!"
I
began to pay attention to each error, one by one, and one
by one, the red marks grew fewer. This experience
fortified my determination and strengthened my courage in
what I could accomplish.
How
can we keep our determination strong down each pathway of
achievement we travel? Here are some valuable ideas
to think about. . . .
1.
Think with purpose; keep your heart and mind focused on
the end goal you want to achieve.
2.
Build pathways to determination from the actions suggested
in Paul J. Meyer's quote: sustained effort, controlled
attention, and concentrated energy.
3.
Remember the wisdom from an Indian proverb that reads,
"Life is not a continuum of pleasant choices, but of
inevitable problems that call for strength, determination,
and hard work." Use obstacles as learning tools
and stepping stones to reach what you envision.
4.
Choose your ideal pathway based on your values, make a
firm commitment to excellence, and take responsibility for
your choices.
5.
Most of all, realize that the Creator gave you some very
special gifts that no one can use exactly like you can use
them. If you haven't discovered those gifts, look
closely at the activities that seem to light a fire in
your soul. You will be very close to some amazing
discoveries. . . .
My
little friend waited in the evergreen branch for a
while. Soon, several more snowbirds landed at the
base of the tree. He gleefully joined them, and off
they went to enjoy the morning.
That
reminds me of a sixth key in building and maintaining
determination: Have patience in all things. Do
what you can now, even if you must wait for your efforts
to bring results. Then return your thoughts to your
purpose, and you will attract many others of like
"feather" to help guide you along the way!
Wishing
you blessings and success! :-) Steve
Brunkhorst
©
Copyright 2006 by Steve Brunkhorst. To contact Steve
or send comments, email to ezine@achieveezine.com
or go to http://achieveezine.com/contact/message.shtml |
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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| Sometimes
Sometimes
things don't go, after all,
from bad to worse. Some years muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a person aims high, and all goes well.
A people
sometimes will step back from war;
elect an honest man; decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some people become what they were born for.
Sometimes
our best efforts do not go
amiss; sometimes we do as we were meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you.
Sheenagh
Pugh
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How
Do We Deal with Setbacks?
An excerpt from "The Pocket Guide to Inner
Peace"
Gary Egeberg
The process of resolving an inner or interpersonal conflict
or handling an emotion that we have struggled with for many
years or decades, such as anger or fear, in a healthy manner is
one that frequently entails making progress and suffering
setbacks. We usually feel excited and pleased with
ourselves when we make some surprising progress and discouraged
and disappointed when we regress or backslide.
When we do suffer a discouraging setback, it tends to feel
like we are back at square one, but that is almost always not
the case. The progress we have made prior to the setback
is real; it is not to be discounted or negated, though our
feelings of disappointment, shame, or remorse and our subsequent
loss of perspective may try to convince us otherwise. One
key indicator that we have made and are continuing to make
progress is that the setback will not keep us down for very
long, not nearly as long as it may have in the past.
Progress is evident after a setback or moment of regression or
failure when:
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We quickly apologize or make amends to the
person(s) we may have harmed. |
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We spend less time and energy beating
ourselves up and forgive ourselves more quickly. |
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We regain our perspective and see our
setback as a setback and nothing more than that, and
certainly not as anything that detracts from our value
as a human being. |
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We assess what factors were at play in our
setback, such as feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, and
try to recognize these warning signs in the future. |
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We recall specific times and situations in
the past when we had a taste of success in this
particular area of struggle or difficulty. |
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We are able to poke a little bit of fun at
ourselves and not take our moment of regression with
such deathly seriousness. |
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We realize that we are neither alone nor
unique in experiencing setbacks, but simply an imperfect
and mistake-prone human being like everyone else. |
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We extend the compassion to ourselves that
we would to another person if he or she had suffered a
similar setback or moment of failure. |
For instance, if we have recently lost our composure (which
happened to me just the other day when I was discussing religion
with someone), we usually feel disappointed with or even ashamed
of ourselves (Why did I let that happen? I should have
recognized that our conversation was going nowhere and either
agreed to disagree with this person or changed the subject!).
Our inner critical voice may be champing at the bit, as mine
always is, to put in his or her two cents worth.
But as is
often the case, a setback or regression of some type precedes or
paves the way for even greater progress. For some unknown
reason, a setback almost always seems to be necessary at times
in order for our next growth spurt to occur. Perhaps we
have another significant lesson to learn. Or maybe we need
to be reminded that whenever we react in familiar
counterproductive ways, such as yelling, the silent treatment,
blaming, retaliation, and the like, we are setting ourselves up
to suffer inevitable feelings of remorse or shame. A
setback, though often painful, is not without potential
redeeming value, for it frequently paves the way for a comeback
and gives us the momentum to grow more than we would have had we
not suffered the setback. Go figure! Personally, I
would prefer to make significant progress without having to
suffer setbacks, but life doesn't usually seem to work that way. |
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In
this upbeat guide, Gary Egeberg combines encouraging
theology with practical suggestions for finding inner
peace. Egeberg explores common obstacles such as
self-criticism, stress, conflict, frustration, resentment,
and the struggle to forgive others or accept forgiveness.
He demonstrates ways readers can work through these
challenges with prayer, affirmations, liberating rituals,
and other creative exercises. |
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We've
been looking for a way to recommend many of the books
and movies that inspire us to live our lives more fully, and
Amazon
finally has provided it. Check out our new bookstore,
which is full
of inspirational and motivational material. We'd also
appreciate any
suggestions you might have of what to stock it with--please
visit
our feedback page
to make recommendations! |
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Free
Wallpaper! Just click
below on
the size your desktop
is formatted to,
right-click
on the picture that appears
in the new window, and choose
"Set as background."
800
x 600 - 1024
x 768 |
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There
have been men and women in every generation
who have
longed for a better day and who have been willing
to aid
the forces which they believed would hasten that day.
Arnaud
C. Marts |
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Are
you looking for inspirational and motivational reading material?
There are many great books out there that are made to lift you up
and inspire you, and when this ad from Amazon works right, it
shows
you quite a few of the newest and most popular choices! When
it
isn't working right, it gives you a generic Amazon.com ad. . . .
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All contents
© 2007 Living Life Fully™,
all rights reserved.
Livinglifefully.com is trademarked SM, all rights
reserved..
Please feel
free to re-use material from this site other than
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Although
her physician stopped by her hospital room
to see her every day while she was recuperating from and operation,
he hardly said more than a few words to her. One morning, however,
he was unusually talkative. After chatting for about 15 minutes,
he turned to leave and said, "It sure has been nice talking to you,
Mrs. Smith.
All my other patients are in a coma."
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Alone
in his car heading west, it's easy for Jason to feel sorry
for himself and mad at the world. But then he gives
a ride to Hector and learns life isn't as negative as we
sometimes see it. The friendship between this young
man and his 70-year-old passenger is an inspiring story of
love and of dealing with obstacles in life. It's a
story that you'll treasure long after you've finished
reading. Three
Cavaliers, Tom Walsh's second published novel, is now available in book form! Click
on the image to the left to order! |
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An excerpt:
“That was my first death.”
Jason
wasn’t sure what Hector meant.
It seemed obvious, but there was something in the
way that Hector had had spoken the words that made the
obvious explanation seem insufficient.
“Do you mean that was the first death you
experienced in your life?” Jason asked.
“No.
I mean that it was the first time I died.”
Jason
thought it over for a moment.
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
Hector
looked over at Jason.
“Perhaps not,” he said simply.
“But perhaps it does.
I know that one day I was one person, but two weeks
later I was a different person.
The Hector Gutierrez Sanchez that I was one day no
longer was there the next.
I had all the same memories as that other person,
and people who had known me before still recognized me as
someone they knew, but I was not the same person.
The person I had been had died.”
“I
guess if you want to see it that way. . . .”
“Tell
me,” Hector said respectfully, “are you exactly the
same person you were five years ago?
Two years ago?”
“No,
not at all. I’ve
learned things. I’ve
grown. I’ve
been developing as a person, I guess.
But yes—I’m still the same person.
I mean, I’m still in the same body and all.”
“Perhaps
you see it that way only because you wish to hold on to
what you were. Because
you are afraid to let it go.
Perhaps you are frightened to let go of who you
were because you are frightened of who you may become.”
Hector spoke matter-of-factly, with no hint of
certainty that he was right, with no sign that he felt he
was teaching Jason something.
He was making no effort to convince Jason that he
was right, and that threw Jason off.
He didn’t know how to respond.
He was used to people telling him what they
believed almost as if they wished to challenge him, and he
was used to arguing his side, which he usually thought of
almost immediately. Here,
though, there was no challenge, no need for him to jump to
defend his own beliefs.
Rather, there almost seemed to be an invitation to
think more deeply, to reflect upon the words that Hector
had spoken and the thoughts they expressed.
It made Jason very uncomfortable.
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