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December 18,
2007 |
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What
is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past,
courage for the present, hope for the future.
It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow
with blessings rich and eternal, and that every
path may lead to peace.
Agnes
M. Pharo |
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Instead
of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps
the only time in the year when people can obey their
natural impulses and express their true sentiments without
feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish.
Christmas, in short, is about the only chance people have to
be themselves.
Francis
C. Farley
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| Christmas
-- that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that
something so intangible that it is like a fragrance.
It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be
a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a
day of remembrance -- a day in which we think of
everything we have ever loved.
Augusta
E. Rundel |
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My
Very Special Christmas Tree
Madeline Weatherford
Christmas
was the most special holiday of all for my father.
The preparations, gift buying, and decorations were no
trouble to him and just added to his overall enjoyment.
I
was introduced to my first Christmas tree when I was nine
days old. Mother told me that it was a small tree,
but every ornament, candle, and piece of silver tinsel
were meticulously hung in place, as only my father could
do it. When he had finished, he took me from my
bassinet and held me up to see his handiwork.
There
were to be just four more of Daddy's Christmas trees--each
one a little larger than the year before. And, of
course, as I grew older his delight in Christmas rubbed
off on me and it became my favorite holiday, too.
However,
this year was going to be different. A short bout
with pneumonia in February had snuffed out Daddy's life.
As
Christmas drew near, Mother sat down with me and as gently
as she could explained, "Madeline, we won't be able
to have a tree and decorations this year because we're in
mourning."
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"In
mourning" meant nothing to a
four-going-on-five-year-old little girl. I missed my
wonderful daddy and my once gay and beautiful mother, now
weighed down by her grief.
Christmas
Eve arrived with no special arrangements for the next day,
other than early Mass and dinner with relatives. In
the afternoon the phone rang and mother answered.
"Oh,
hello, Mrs. Dreyfus," she said. And after a
pause, "That's very kind, but I think we'll spend the
evening here together. It's the first since--"
She recovered and thanked Mrs. Dreyfus again and hung up.
Mrs.
Dreyfus was one of several Jewish families who lived in
our apartment house. They had been wonderful to
mother in helping her meet her sorrow and adjust to
widowhood.
"What
did she want?" I asked.
"She
wanted us to come down this evening. I--can't."
"Oh,
please, mother," I cried. "She always has
hot cocoa for me."
Mother
was silent most of the day, and later in the evening she
changed her mind. She called Mrs. Dreyfus and told
her we'd stop in for a few minutes. "It's kind
of her," mother said, "and thank goodness they
won't have any Christmas decorations."
We
rang the doorbell and Mrs. Dreyfus welcomed us into the
foyer. The living room beyond seemed dark with an
odd-colored glow.
She
led us into the living room, where we were greeted with
cries of "Merry Christmas." Seated around
a beautifully decorated Christmas tree were Mrs. Abrams,
Mrs. Cohen, and Mrs. Blount. Under the tree were
gaily decorated packages for us. And Mrs. Dreyfus
didn't disappoint me. There was cocoa for me and
coffee for the ladies.
There
have been many trees since then--big, small, fresh and
artificial--but I always think of that one as my very
favorite Christmas tree. I'll never forget those
loving, caring people who shared in an unfamiliar custom
so that one little girl without a daddy could have a Merry
Christmas.
Today
I can close my eyes and bring back that scene at
will. Many times it has sustained me when things
have gone badly, for I can still feel the warmth and love
of those neighbors. It taught me the true meaning of
Christmas--the brother- and sisterhood of all people.
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Guideposts
for the Spirit:
Christmas Stories of Faith
marks
the introduction of
a new series of stories
guaranteed to tug at
the heartstrings. Inspiring
and moving, Christmas Stories
of Faith offers quotes and
stories by well-known writers
such as Pearl S. Buck, Norman
Vincent Peale, Cecil B.
DeMille, and Billy Graham,
as well as by ordinary people
who share events and memories
of their own Christmases past. |
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Eyes Wide Open
tom walsh
What Do You Expect?
As
another Christmas season makes its way into our lives, I can't
help but enjoy the many positive aspects of this holiday. |
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| People are friendly an loving to each other, people are focused
on giving rather than getting, the lights and other decorations
are beautiful, and there's a feeling in the air that's very
special. Of course, there are exceptions to all of these
things, but for the most part this is a very special holiday
that's accessible to and enjoyable by all, no matter what their
religious or cultural background; the office Christmas party
isn't reserved for Christians, nor are the lighting of the town
tree or the ability to enjoy many of the special performances
and presentations. But
this is also a season of many negative thoughts, a season in
which many people find themselves in negative moods. Some
of these moods are caused by depression or Seasonal Affective
Disorder, and the people who have them have to deal with them on
their terms. But a great deal of negativity comes from
ourselves and our tendency to allow our own happiness or
unhappiness to be determined by whether or not our expectations
of others are met. I
remember a Christmas when a very good friend received a gift
that he hadn't expected. He had been expecting something
else, and even though this other gift was beautiful, he was
miserable--hurt and frustrated and angry--because the people who
bought him this gift hadn't met his expectations. He
wasn't down because of the gift--he was down because his own
artificial expectations hadn't been met, and he did his best to
bring others down simply because he was upset because they
supposedly had let him down. Special
times like Christmas are when our expectations of others go
sky-high -- everyone should be well behaved, everyone should be
courteous and considerate, everyone should be happy, and so
on. When those expectations aren't met for whatever
reason, we often let the other person's actions make us feel
awful. If your brother is still being a jerk this
Christmas, are you upset because he's being a jerk (something
that you should probably have gotten used to) or because you
expect him at least to have the decency not to be a jerk at
Christmas? And do you take his behavior personally?
If you do so, then you're definitely allowing him to affect you. There
will be people from whom you won't get Christmas cards, even if
you're expecting them. But what's going on in their lives
that has made them decide not to send cards or that has
prevented them from sending cards? Have you told them how
important the cards are to you each year? If you get upset
at the missing card, remember that you're making yourself upset. I
hear over and over again how we have the right to expect things
from others. This may be true, but we also have the right
to do many things that are harmful to us. We can overeat,
over-drink, gamble away all of our earnings, harm our lungs with
tobacco, or do many other things that harm us. Most of us
choose not to do these things, though, and not doing them makes
our lives a more positive experience. If
we can do the same thing with expectations, all year long, we'll
find that our lives can be much more full of positive moments,
for the negative moments that are caused by others not living up
to our expectations will go away. When we no longer expect
people to live up to our standards, but allow them to set and
follow their own standards, our lives become that much more
richer and that much less stressful. And what better time
to set the standard and practice it than at the time of the year
when expectations are among the highest, one of the nicest
seasons of all, Christmas? |
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| Here's hoping that you're able to let you
Christmas be a wonderful ("full of
wonder") one, and that you're able to
take advantage of the many traditions and
reminders of the love that is the true
source of this holiday ("holy
day"). |
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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Christmas
Bells
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I heard the
bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!
And thought
how, as the day day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!
Till,
ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!
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Then
from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!
It was as if
an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!
And in
despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
"For hate is strong
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men."
Then pealed
the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail,
The right prevail
With peace on earth, goodwill to men." |
| Originally
written during the American Civil War, this poem every year goes
through many transformations, mostly through omission. Many
versions that you'll see printed or hear as songs leave out the
middle three verses (in purple), an omission that makes little
sense poetically. The strength of Longfellow's poetry here
is that he presents the positive, loving side of Christmas, then
contrasts it with the horror and the noise and the awful side of
war, which seems to negate the love of Christmas. Without
the descent into the negative side of war, the hope of the last
two stanzas is little more than a sappy, insincere
declaration. Some publications change the title, too,
usually to the first line of the poem. |
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All I Want
for Christmas. . . Parents, You May Be Surprised
Linda Sharp
I am a huge advocate of
parents getting into their children's schools on a regular basis.
As a stay-at-home mom, I am able to assist in my daughters'
classrooms each week. Whether helping with art projects, reading
or spelling, it keeps me connected and allows me direct insight
into my girls' day-to-day lives. It also affords me the
opportunity to connect with other children. And connect I do. The
hugs and openness with which I am greeted are huge indicators that
I have broken through that Grown-up/Child barrier.
It could be that when I
go into the school, I don't dress like an authority figure. You
won't find me wearing Chinos, skirts, loafers, untouchable hair or
any other spiffy adult attire. Instead, look for the person clad
in sweatpants or jeans, a comfy sweater and a baseball cap . . .
always a baseball cap. I come prepared to hug, get dirty on the
playground and sweep the floor with my butt during reading circle.
I also come with enough hugs to go around, twice. As a result, I
have been granted access into the Inner Sanctum of the Schoolyard.
Last week while working
on an art project with a rotating group of kids we talked about
music, movies, swear words, parents, the holidays. As talk turned
to what they hoped would be under their tree for Christmas or part
of their Hannukah 7 Day Gift Haul, I decided to take advantage of
my "non-threatening" status and pose the question: "Name
one thing you would like your Mom or Dad to give you this season
that would not cost a penny." You could have heard that
penny hit the floor as silence enveloped them, and their young
minds went to work. As they each took turns answering, I was moved
to tears by their candor, their honesty and in some cases the
heartbreaking realities revealed in their words.
It is my holiday gift to
you all that I share what your kids REALLY want this year.
And no, a Play Station 2 is nowhere on the lists of their hearts.
Listen To Me
Please: At the top of their lists is for we parents to
stop being so busy all the time and just listen to them talk. I
know I have been guilty of this one. God knows, we really are not
interested in hearing about the latest unpronounceable character
in their Harry Potter books, but we need to stop, look them in the
eye, and listen. If we don't, they will simply stop trying. And we
all know that the teenage days will come when they won't want to
discuss anything with us, be it Harry Potter or their newly hairy
pits.
Teach Me To Cook:
I was surprised by this request, but when I pressed for an
explanation, it quickly became clear. We are raising a generation
of Microwave Kids. They know how to use every button on the magic
box, but have no idea how to simmer, bake or boil. Granted, there
is great messiness in allowing your youngsters to cook with you,
but take it from me, some of my happiest memories are in the
kitchen with my Mom, dusted with flour and smudged with love.
Please Stop
Smoking: One child spoke this wish and it was quickly
echoed by many others. They have seen enough commercials to be
truly concerned about your health and their own, but it goes a bit
further than that. One young girl pulled me aside and whispered
her reason in my ear, "The other kids say I always smell
bad." I hugged her close and bent to kiss her head and she
was right. Her hair did not smell of Johnson & Johnson's, but
of Benson & Hedges. Not her choice and certainly not fair.
Stop Being So Busy
All The Time:
If guilt were a color, I would have been
painted with it when I heard this one. How many of us use the
phrase, "Just a minute . . ." or "Hold on . .
." too much? Personally, there have been too many times I
have looked up after "just a minute" to find my child
has given up waiting and is gone.
Read TO Me:
We tend to think that once a child can read, our job is done.
Actually, these children expressed a desire to have Mom or Dad
read a chapter book TO them each night. And while they
would really enjoy the reading, it leads to a deeper desire . . .
the other request that made me choke back a tear . . .
Hug Me More:
I experience these children each week when I enter the classrooms.
They cling to me tighter than a wet pair of Levi's. They are the
ones that are not getting enough hugs and snuggling and attention
at home. For them, I hug them not once, not twice, but as much and
as long as they need.
So while you are running around doing that
last minute shopping, add some of these items to your own child's
list. Rich or poor, they are all things that cost not a dime and
we all have in endless supply. We just have to stop and open our
arms and hearts a little wider.
Happy Holidays,
Everyone!
Copyright 2000 by Linda M. Sharp.
Reprinted with permission.
Linda Sharp is an internationally
published author and columnist who writes regularly on the joyous
and frustrating world of parenting. Her work appears across
the Internet and wraps around the globe in parenting publications
from Canada to Malaysia to all points in between.
Linda is co-creator of the award-winning website, Sanity Central
— A Time Out From Parenting! Located at http://www.sanitycentral.com,
and her latest book, Stretchmarks On My Sanity - The Growing
Pains of Raising A Family, has earned her rave reviews and
comparisons to Erma Bombeck. She may be reached via
email at lsharp03@aol.com.
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I
hear that in many places something has
happened to Christmas; that it is changing
from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety
to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that
many people dread the day and the obligation
to give Christmas presents is a
nightmare to
weary, bored souls; that the children of enlightened parents
no longer believe in
Santa Claus; that all in all, the effort to
be
happy and have pleasure makes many
honest hearts grow dark with
despair instead
of beaming with good will and cheerfulness.
Julia
Peterkin, A Plantation Christmas, 1934 |
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A
Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away.
Eva
Logue
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Christmas
is more than a time of music, merriment and mirth;
it is a season of meditation, managers
and miracles.
Christmas
is more than a time of gaiety, greenery and gifts;
it is a season of wonder, worship and
wisemen.
Christmas
is more than a time of tinsel, trees and toys;
it is a season of preparation, prayers
and peace.
Christmas
is more than a time of festivities, family and friends;
it is a season of generosity, gladness
and gratitude.
Christmas
is more than a time of carols, cards and candy;
it is a season of dedication, direction
and decision.
Christmas
is more than Santa, stockings and surprises;
it is Christ, care and concern.
William
Arthur Ward |
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Fail
not to call to mind, in the course
of the twenty-fifth of this
month, that
the Divinest Heart that ever walked the
earth was born on
that day; and then smile
and enjoy yourselves for the rest of it; for
mirth is also of Heaven's making.
Leigh
Hunt |
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Christmas
is for children. But it is for grown-ups too.
Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare,
it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill
and hide-bound hearts.
Lenora
Mattingly Weber |
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