December 18, 2007

  


  
Good day, and welcome to the Christmas season!
We're glad that you're here, and we thank you for your
very special presence in this beautiful world of ours!

My Very Special Christmas Tree
Madeline Weatherford

What Do You Expect?
tom walsh

All I Want for Christmas
Linda Sharp

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Living Life Fully home - e-zine archives
Last year's Christmas issue

  

  

What is Christmas?  It is tenderness for the past,
courage for the present, hope for the future.
It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow
with blessings rich and eternal, and that every
path may lead to peace.

Agnes M. Pharo

Instead of being a time of unusual behavior, Christmas is perhaps the only time in the  year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious and, perhaps, foolish.  Christmas, in short, is about the only chance people have to be themselves.

Francis C. Farley

Christmas -- that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance.  It may weave a spell of nostalgia.  Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance -- a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved.

Augusta E. Rundel

  

My Very Special Christmas Tree
Madeline Weatherford

Christmas was the most special holiday of all for my father.  The preparations, gift buying, and decorations were no trouble to him and just added to his overall enjoyment.

I was introduced to my first Christmas tree when I was nine days old.  Mother told me that it was a small tree, but every ornament, candle, and piece of silver tinsel were meticulously hung in place, as only my father could do it.  When he had finished, he took me from my bassinet and held me up to see his handiwork.

There were to be just four more of Daddy's Christmas trees--each one a little larger than the year before.  And, of course, as I grew older his delight in Christmas rubbed off on me and it became my favorite holiday, too.

However, this year was going to be different.  A short bout with pneumonia in February had snuffed out Daddy's life.

As Christmas drew near, Mother sat down with me and as gently as she could explained, "Madeline, we won't be able to have a tree and decorations this year because we're in mourning."

"In mourning" meant nothing to a four-going-on-five-year-old little girl.  I missed my wonderful daddy and my once gay and beautiful mother, now weighed down by her grief.

Christmas Eve arrived with no special arrangements for the next day, other than early Mass and dinner with relatives.  In the afternoon the phone rang and mother answered.

"Oh, hello, Mrs. Dreyfus," she said.  And after a pause, "That's very kind, but I think we'll spend the evening here together.  It's the first since--" She recovered and thanked Mrs. Dreyfus again and hung up.

Mrs. Dreyfus was one of several Jewish families who lived in our apartment house.  They had been wonderful to mother in helping her meet her sorrow and adjust to widowhood.

"What did she want?" I asked.

"She wanted us to come down this evening.  I--can't."

"Oh, please, mother," I cried.  "She always has hot cocoa for me."

Mother was silent most of the day, and later in the evening she changed her mind.  She called Mrs. Dreyfus and told her we'd stop in for a few minutes.  "It's kind of her," mother said, "and thank goodness they won't have any Christmas decorations."

We rang the doorbell and Mrs. Dreyfus welcomed us into the foyer.  The living room beyond seemed dark with an odd-colored glow.

She led us into the living room, where we were greeted with cries of "Merry Christmas."  Seated around a beautifully decorated Christmas tree were Mrs. Abrams, Mrs. Cohen, and Mrs. Blount.  Under the tree were gaily decorated packages for us.  And Mrs. Dreyfus didn't disappoint me.  There was cocoa for me and coffee for the ladies.

There have been many trees since then--big, small, fresh and artificial--but I always think of that one as my very favorite Christmas tree.  I'll never forget those loving, caring people who shared in an unfamiliar custom so that one little girl without a daddy could have a Merry Christmas.

Today I can close my eyes and bring back that scene at will.  Many times it has sustained me when things have gone badly, for I can still feel the warmth and love of those neighbors.  It taught me the true meaning of Christmas--the brother- and sisterhood of all people.
  
   

Guideposts for the Spirit:
Christmas Stories of Faith
marks the introduction of
a new series of stories
guaranteed to tug at
the heartstrings. Inspiring
and moving, Christmas Stories
of Faith
offers quotes and
stories by well-known writers
such as Pearl S. Buck, Norman
Vincent Peale, Cecil B.
DeMille, and Billy Graham,
as well as by ordinary people
who share events and memories
of their own Christmases past.

   

   
Eyes Wide Open
tom walsh

What Do You Expect?

As another Christmas season makes its way into our lives, I can't help but enjoy the many positive aspects of this holiday.

People are friendly an loving to each other, people are focused on giving rather than getting, the lights and other decorations are beautiful, and there's a feeling in the air that's very special.  Of course, there are exceptions to all of these things, but for the most part this is a very special holiday that's accessible to and enjoyable by all, no matter what their religious or cultural background; the office Christmas party isn't reserved for Christians, nor are the lighting of the town tree or the ability to enjoy many of the special performances and presentations.

But this is also a season of many negative thoughts, a season in which many people find themselves in negative moods.  Some of these moods are caused by depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder, and the people who have them have to deal with them on their terms.  But a great deal of negativity comes from ourselves and our tendency to allow our own happiness or unhappiness to be determined by whether or not our expectations of others are met.

I remember a Christmas when a very good friend received a gift that he hadn't expected.  He had been expecting something else, and even though this other gift was beautiful, he was miserable--hurt and frustrated and angry--because the people who bought him this gift hadn't met his expectations.  He wasn't down because of the gift--he was down because his own artificial expectations hadn't been met, and he did his best to bring others down simply because he was upset because they supposedly had let him down.

Special times like Christmas are when our expectations of others go sky-high -- everyone should be well behaved, everyone should be courteous and considerate, everyone should be happy, and so on.  When those expectations aren't met for whatever reason, we often let the other person's actions make us feel awful.  If your brother is still being a jerk this Christmas, are you upset because he's being a jerk (something that you should probably have gotten used to) or because you expect him at least to have the decency not to be a jerk at Christmas?  And do you take his behavior personally?  If you do so, then you're definitely allowing him to affect you.

There will be people from whom you won't get Christmas cards, even if you're expecting them.  But what's going on in their lives that has made them decide not to send cards or that has prevented them from sending cards?  Have you told them how important the cards are to you each year?  If you get upset at the missing card, remember that you're making yourself upset.

I hear over and over again how we have the right to expect things from others.  This may be true, but we also have the right to do many things that are harmful to us.  We can overeat, over-drink, gamble away all of our earnings, harm our lungs with tobacco, or do many other things that harm us.  Most of us choose not to do these things, though, and not doing them makes our lives a more positive experience.

If we can do the same thing with expectations, all year long, we'll find that our lives can be much more full of positive moments, for the negative moments that are caused by others not living up to our expectations will go away.  When we no longer expect people to live up to our standards, but allow them to set and follow their own standards, our lives become that much more richer and that much less stressful.  And what better time to set the standard and practice it than at the time of the year when expectations are among the highest, one of the nicest seasons of all, Christmas?

Here's hoping that you're able to let you Christmas be a wonderful ("full of wonder") one, and that you're able to take advantage of the many traditions and reminders of the love that is the true source of this holiday ("holy day").
  
  

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Christmas Bells
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
  And wild and sweet
  The words repeat
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

And thought how, as the day day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
  Had rolled along
  The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
  A voice, a chime,
  A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

 

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
  And with the sound
  The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
  And made forlorn
  The households born
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said,
  "For hate is strong
  And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, goodwill to men."

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
  The wrong shall fail,
  The right prevail
With peace on earth, goodwill to men."

Originally written during the American Civil War, this poem every year goes through many transformations, mostly through omission.  Many versions that you'll see printed or hear as songs leave out the middle three verses (in purple), an omission that makes little sense poetically.  The strength of Longfellow's poetry here is that he presents the positive, loving side of Christmas, then contrasts it with the horror and the noise and the awful side of war, which seems to negate the love of Christmas.  Without the descent into the negative side of war, the hope of the last two stanzas is little more than a sappy, insincere declaration.  Some publications change the title, too, usually to the first line of the poem.
   
All I Want for Christmas. . . Parents, You May Be Surprised
Linda Sharp

I am a huge advocate of parents getting into their children's schools on a regular basis. As a stay-at-home mom, I am able to assist in my daughters' classrooms each week. Whether helping with art projects, reading or spelling, it keeps me connected and allows me direct insight into my girls' day-to-day lives. It also affords me the opportunity to connect with other children. And connect I do. The hugs and openness with which I am greeted are huge indicators that I have broken through that Grown-up/Child barrier.

It could be that when I go into the school, I don't dress like an authority figure. You won't find me wearing Chinos, skirts, loafers, untouchable hair or any other spiffy adult attire. Instead, look for the person clad in sweatpants or jeans, a comfy sweater and a baseball cap . . . always a baseball cap. I come prepared to hug, get dirty on the playground and sweep the floor with my butt during reading circle. I also come with enough hugs to go around, twice. As a result, I have been granted access into the Inner Sanctum of the Schoolyard.

Last week while working on an art project with a rotating group of kids we talked about music, movies, swear words, parents, the holidays. As talk turned to what they hoped would be under their tree for Christmas or part of their Hannukah 7 Day Gift Haul, I decided to take advantage of my "non-threatening" status and pose the question: "Name one thing you would like your Mom or Dad to give you this season that would not cost a penny." You could have heard that penny hit the floor as silence enveloped them, and their young minds went to work. As they each took turns answering, I was moved to tears by their candor, their honesty and in some cases the heartbreaking realities revealed in their words.

It is my holiday gift to you all that I share what your kids REALLY want this year. And no, a Play Station 2 is nowhere on the lists of their hearts.

Listen To Me Please:    At the top of their lists is for we parents to stop being so busy all the time and just listen to them talk. I know I have been guilty of this one. God knows, we really are not interested in hearing about the latest unpronounceable character in their Harry Potter books, but we need to stop, look them in the eye, and listen. If we don't, they will simply stop trying. And we all know that the teenage days will come when they won't want to discuss anything with us, be it Harry Potter or their newly hairy pits.

Teach Me To Cook:    I was surprised by this request, but when I pressed for an explanation, it quickly became clear. We are raising a generation of Microwave Kids. They know how to use every button on the magic box, but have no idea how to simmer, bake or boil. Granted, there is great messiness in allowing your youngsters to cook with you, but take it from me, some of my happiest memories are in the kitchen with my Mom, dusted with flour and smudged with love.

Please Stop Smoking:    One child spoke this wish and it was quickly echoed by many others. They have seen enough commercials to be truly concerned about your health and their own, but it goes a bit further than that. One young girl pulled me aside and whispered her reason in my ear, "The other kids say I always smell bad." I hugged her close and bent to kiss her head and she was right. Her hair did not smell of Johnson & Johnson's, but of Benson & Hedges. Not her choice and certainly not fair.

Stop Being So Busy All The Time:    If guilt were a color, I would have been painted with it when I heard this one. How many of us use the phrase, "Just a minute . . ." or "Hold on . . ." too much? Personally, there have been too many times I have looked up after "just a minute" to find my child has given up waiting and is gone.

Read TO Me:    We tend to think that once a child can read, our job is done. Actually, these children expressed a desire to have Mom or Dad read a chapter book TO them each night. And while they would really enjoy the reading, it leads to a deeper desire . . . the other request that made me choke back a tear . . .

Hug Me More:    I experience these children each week when I enter the classrooms. They cling to me tighter than a wet pair of Levi's. They are the ones that are not getting enough hugs and snuggling and attention at home. For them, I hug them not once, not twice, but as much and as long as they need. 

So while you are running around doing that last minute shopping, add some of these items to your own child's list. Rich or poor, they are all things that cost not a dime and we all have in endless supply. We just have to stop and open our arms and hearts a little wider.

Happy Holidays, Everyone!


Copyright 2000 by Linda M. Sharp. Reprinted with permission. 
Linda Sharp is an internationally published author and columnist who writes regularly on the joyous and frustrating world of parenting.  Her work appears across the Internet and wraps around the globe in parenting publications from Canada to Malaysia to all points in between.
Linda is co-creator of the award-winning website, Sanity Central — A Time Out From Parenting! Located at http://www.sanitycentral.com,  and her latest book, Stretchmarks On My Sanity - The Growing Pains of Raising A Family, has earned her rave reviews and comparisons to Erma Bombeck.   She may be reached via email at lsharp03@aol.com.

   

I hear that in many places something has
happened to Christmas; that it is changing
from a time of merriment and carefree gaiety
to a holiday which is filled with tedium; that
many people dread the day and the obligation
to give Christmas presents is a nightmare to
weary, bored souls; that the children of enlightened parents no longer believe in
Santa Claus; that all in all, the effort to
be happy and have pleasure makes many
honest hearts grow dark with despair instead
of beaming with good will and cheerfulness.

Julia Peterkin, A Plantation Christmas, 1934

   

   
  

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away.

Eva Logue

   

Christmas is more than a time of music, merriment and mirth;
     it is a season of meditation, managers and miracles.

Christmas is more than a time of gaiety, greenery and gifts;
     it is a season of wonder, worship and wisemen.

Christmas is more than a time of tinsel, trees and toys;
     it is a season of preparation, prayers and peace.

Christmas is more than a time of festivities, family and friends;
     it is a season of generosity, gladness and gratitude.

Christmas is more than a time of carols, cards and candy;
     it is a season of dedication, direction and decision.

Christmas is more than Santa, stockings and surprises;
     it is Christ, care and concern.

William Arthur Ward

  

Fail not to call to mind, in the course
of the twenty-fifth of this month, that
the Divinest Heart that ever walked the
earth was born on that day; and then smile
and enjoy yourselves for the rest of it; for
mirth is also of Heaven's making.

Leigh Hunt

    

  

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Christmas is for children.  But it is for grown-ups too. 
Even if it is a headache, a chore, and nightmare,
it is a period of necessary defrosting of chill
and hide-bound hearts. 

Lenora Mattingly Weber

   

  

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