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8 August 2006
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Sometimes we need to
remind ourselves that thankfulness
is indeed a virtue.
William J. Bennett
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It's not true that nice
guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the
game even starts.
Addison Walker
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Sincerity resembles
a spice.
Too much repels you and too little leaves you
wanting.
Bill Copeland |
The ultimate test of
a relationship is to disagree but to hold hands.
unattributed
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Eyes Wide Open
tom walsh
Keeping
Doors Closed
One of
the aspects of my self that I'm not so fond of revealing is
my tendency to judge very quickly and very strongly.
I've learned in my life that one should call a shovel a
shovel, a flower a flower, and so on, and not assign some
sort of euphemism to something to make it look less
negative. If Johnny's a thief, then call him a thief,
not a "troubled youth." If a TV show or
movie is garbage, then call it garbage, and don't mislead
others by calling it something else. I believe that
this tendency came from a desire to create order in a life
that had very little stability, but it's definitely a
tendency that has hurt me and that never really had any
usefulness.
A great
example of how I missed out on something good was with the
comic strip "Calvin and Hobbes." I read a
few of the strips and saw only a spoiled little brat who
sulked when he didn't get his way, and I decided that I
didn't like it. I never gave it more of a chance, and
for years I never read it.
Once I
did, though, I discovered a treasure, a beautifully
conceived and written strip that transcended the normal,
everyday comic strip and became something all its own,
completely unique. Watterson also often addressed the
ideas of getting the most out of this life, taking care of
our planet, allowing our individuality to thrive, and much,
much more, a fact that made the strip even more special.
The same
thing happened with The Simpsons -- I saw parts of an
episode or two, didn't like the animation or the story line,
and decided that I didn't like it. Years later, when I
finally watched an entire episode, I discovered that I had
been missing a show that often borders on genius, and that's
almost always funny.
With
people, I'm less likely to judge strongly, as I've always
been intimidated by other people, and my tendency is to
sabotage a possible friendship by judging people more highly
than is appropriate. In other words, this person
wouldn't want to be my friend because he or she already has
tons of friends, a great life, and his or her act together
-- what more could I possibly offer? I judge a person
as "content" or "fulfilled," not needing
a friendship with me, and I act accordingly -- as an
acquaintance who doesn't really matter to this person.
And once I begin acting this way, guess what happens?
One of
my goals in life is to become as objective as I possibly
can, to look for possible explanations or attributes other
than those that are immediately obvious. If I can look
at the world without judgment, I won't be closing so many
doors before I even find out whether or not I want to go
through them. I don't want to deprive myself of things
that may be valuable to me simply because I reached a very
quick and inaccurate conclusion.
Are
there places in your life where you do this? Do you
judge people or things very quickly, without getting the
full story? This tendency definitely isn't a healthy
one -- what might you be missing out on because you've
closed a door before you got a good look at what was in the
room? We need to keep open minds only partly for the
sake of others -- the makers of The Simpsons couldn't
care less if I watch the show or not -- but mostly for our
own sakes, for a closed mind is a common cause of
self-deprivation. Don't deprive yourself -- you
deserve better than that! |
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From The Bench
T.W.
Winslow
When
there was a lack of people interested in coaching my son's 5th and
6th
grade city recreation basketball team this season, my wife
volunteered me. As a kid, I wasn't the greatest player to have ever graced the
basketball
court, so I was a bit apprehensive about serving as a coach.
However, as
there seemed to be no one else available, I agreed.
One thing I promised myself at the beginning of the season was
that every
child would be given equal playing time, no matter their ability,
and each
would be allowed to play every position. I did this because
I remembered how
disappointing it was as a player to sit on the bench while the
kids with more
ability and experience got to play.
This philosophy worked fairly well for the first several games.
We weren't
the most successful team in the league, but the kids all seemed to
be having
fun and were improving with each passing game. However,
there was one
player, I'll call him Brian, who just didn't seem to get it.
No matter how
hard he worked, he continued to struggle with even the most basic
skills.
As the season progressed, the only player who hadn't had a chance
to play
point guard was Brian. For those who don't follow
basketball, the point
guard is a key position. This is the person who brings the
ball down court
and sets up the plays. Knowing Brian would have difficulty
playing this
position, I spent a lot of time working with him during the final
practice
before that game. Unfortunately, Brian continued to
struggle.
As I watched Brian practice, it occurred to me that perhaps
Brian's problem
wasn't that he lacked the basic knowledge and skill to be a good
player, but
that he was simply putting too much pressure on himself to
perform. I pulled
Brian aside and had a long talk with him. I explained that
it didn't matter
to me if he made mistakes - we all make mistakes. I told him
I didn't care
if the other team stole the ball from him or if he missed every
shot. The
only thing I cared about was that he did the best he could and had
fun.
When the next game rolled around I could see Brian was nervous
about playing
point guard. The horn sounded for the players to take their
positions and
our team ran out onto the court - all except for Brian that is.
He walked up
to me and said, "I don't know if I can do it, coach."
I knelt down and
looked into his frightened eyes and said simply, "I have
faith in you. Just
do your best. If you do that, no matter what happens, I'll
be proud of you." He stared at me for a second without expression, then a grin
crossed his
face. He turned and ran out onto the court to join the rest of his
team.
Up to this point, Brian hadn't scored a single point all season.
In the past
when he had the ball he made bad passes or otherwise caused a
turnover. But
this game, things would be different. Suddenly Brian was a
different player. He called the plays and moved the ball well. When the
opportunity presented
itself, Brain would drive for the basket, showing confidence and
skill. He
still made a few mistakes, and maybe he wasn't the best player on
the court
that day, but when he scored his first basket of the season we all
cheered as
though he was. He went on to score several more points that
day and each
time he did he'd look over to me sitting on the bench and flash me
a big
smile.
When the final buzzer sounded, we had lost by three points.
Brain walked off
the court and said, "Sorry coach, I guess I let you
down." I put my arm
around him and said, "If we had won by 100 points, I wouldn't
be any more
proud of you than I am at this moment." Leaving the gym
that day I could
hear the excitement in his voice as Brian recalled each play of
the game for
his parents. As he was walking out the door, Brian paused.
He turned and
looked around the room. When he saw me, he gave me the
thumbs up sign and
mouthed the words, "Thanks, coach."
When I agreed to volunteer as a coach, I assumed it would be only
the kids
who would learn the lessons and experience the thrills... I was
wrong.
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What
Do We Really Seek In Life?
Robert Taylor
How many of us truly know what we seek in our lives? Do we
confuse our desires and wants with our needs?
Are we really seeking that new home, job, car, boat, vacation (you
may add anything you can imagine to this list)? Or are we
seeking the "peace that passeth all understanding"?
We are driven by our needs, wants and desires. The greater
these are, the more we are driven. A driven person is not a
person who is at peace. That person's needs, wants and
desires keep that individual in a state of constant turmoil.
Society teaches us we should constantly strive for all the finer
things in life. The paradox is that society dictates what
those finer things should be. The labels society provides
cannot fit every individual, for we are all different. No
two of us have the same wants and desires.
My wants and desires may be to live simply and peacefully.
Inasmuch as my needs for food, clothing and shelter are met, I am
at peace. There is no concern about having the most toys, or
the biggest home, or the most money, or the fanciest automobile.
Society says that unless we have these things or at least strive
to achieve them, we are failures. This can only hold true
when we allow society to dictate to us.
There are many people who, in the eyes of society at large, are
abysmal failures. However, in the opinion of those closest
to them, they may be considered the greatest of successes.
Consider those who live simply and within their means. They
are totally free of debt and the worries that come with being in
debt. Another thought to bear in mind is the fact that inasmuch as
you owe any other person or institution, you are a slave to that
person or institution.
Ponder this thought! Do not lightly pass it by.
So long as you owe another person or institution, you are a slave
to that person or institution.
Our basic needs for food, shelter and clothing are relatively easy
to satisfy. It is when we desire a 20-room mansion for a
four-person family that we place ourselves in stressful
situations.
How much is enough? That depends on what you want out of
life. Too many people tell us we are foolish to settle for
anything less than the latest model automobile, a beautiful and
well landscaped home, a great amount of money in the bank and on
and on. Are we really foolish to not want these things?
Would we not be better off to have sufficient for all our needs
that we don't have to worry about them? We can spend the
time we would have wasted trying to accumulate the most toys on
much better things. Some of these would be more quality time with
our families, the time to really enjoy all the beauty surrounding
us, and more time for spiritual development.
An individual who is stressed out cannot enjoy the beauty
abounding on this earth. This is easily explained.
When you are truly ill and hurting all over, your pains and
illness dominate your thoughts. When you are in excellent health
and high spirits, everything about you takes on a new nature and
is viewed from a different perspective.
The choice is simple, but not necessarily easy. Live simply
and free of stress within your means according to your own
dictates, or endure the striving and stress of keeping up with the
dictates of society.
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Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week. |
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Mastermind
Jim Stovall
You've heard it said that "Two heads are better than
one." This would, of course, depend upon which
two heads we're talking about, but--all things being
equal--there is strength and wisdom in numbers. The
farther up the mountain of success you travel, the less
populated you will find your path to be. Achievement
and excellence bring a degree of isolation.
No one should ever make a decision in a vacuum. As you
progress closer and closer to your goals, however, it
becomes more difficult to find people whose advice and
counsel are appropriate.
One of the keys to seeking counsel is to never ask someone's
advice if they don't already have what you are trying to
obtain as you pursue your goals. It is not critical
that they be on the same path, but it is vital that they
share the critical elements of your success.
Recently, in an interview, Tiger Woods revealed that he,
Charles Barkley, and Michael Jordan speak either in person
or on the telephone a minimum of once a week. They
have found that they share life challenges relating to
athletic performance, financial success, and living in the
public eye. The fact that Tiger Woods is a golfer and
Michael Jordan a basketball player is really not important
relating to these areas of mutual interest.
Whether these high-performing athletes realize it or not,
they have formed a mastermind group. A mastermind
group is nothing more or less than a group of like-minded
individuals who are dealing with the same obstacles and
challenges. Recently, I formed such a group with four
other colleagues from the speaking profession. We all
speak on slightly different topics and move in varied
circles; however, when it comes to the basic day-to-day
challenges surrounding the growth and success of our
businesses, we are each in the same game. We set our
own rules, and we each establish our own goals. We
depend on one another for honest feedback and
accountability.
I would encourage you to find several like-minded
individuals who are traveling on the same road or at least a
similar road toward success, and form your own mastermind
group. The dividends you will both give and receive
can be immeasurable.
Today's the day!
Jim
Stovall is the president of Narrative Television Network, as
well as a published author, columnist, and motivational
speaker. He may be reached at 5840 South Memorial
Drive, Suite 312, Tulsa, OK 74145-9082, or by e-mail
at JimStovall@aol.com. |
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| An
Excerpt:
"Site to
Be Developed." When you see this sign you know
someone is preparing to put up a building of some kind.
It may be an improvement over what currently exists on the
site, or it may do more damage than good. We have all
seen nature destroyed in the name of development.
Think of
yourself as a site to be developed. Remember that
different sites are suited for different types of
development. What is your goal? What resources are
available, and what will best fit your site? Look
yourself over and get a feeling for your site. Ask for
help from developers and landscapers.
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Prescriptions for Living.
Bernie S.
Siegel
A nice look at life from a formerly anal-retentive
doctor who shaved his head, changed his name from "Dr. Siegel" to Bernie,
and actually started caring for his patients. He learned more from the change
than they did. |
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| Then begin
construction. Don't worry about what the sidewalk
supervisors think about the structure you are building.
This structure is going up on your property and you decide
what it will be, or you will find no joy in the life you
construct. It will be someone else's building and you
will be stuck in it.
A project
under development. A white canvas or a hunk of potter's
clay. I offer metaphors to remind you that you can
change yourself and create a more fulfilling life -- if you
remember my mother's advice to make the decisions that will
make you happy. You can create and re-create. This
is not about selfishness, but about authenticity.
How
much can you do with yourself? No one knows. I
know you can be happy. You can be loving. You can
take part in creation and live and work in your heart
zone. There are no limits. What will happen
then? No one knows the details, but I do know you will
have what you need, peace and joy.
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One of
the most lasting pleasures you can experience is
the feeling that
comes over you when you genuinely forgive
an enemy -- whether he or
she knows it or not.
O.A.
Battista |
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