Hello, and welcome to another week in our lives!  We have
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Four Ways to Teach the Truths
That Transform the World
Guy Finley

A Kaleidoscopic View
Lucy Lopez

Success:  A Lengthy Journey or State of Mind
Fred Tanner

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Thich Nhat Hanh

The unknown is what it is.  And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that. . . . Accept that it's unknown, and it's plain sailing.

John Lennon

It is arrogance to expect that life will always be music. . . . Harmony, like a following breeze at sea, is the exception.  In a world where most things wind up broken or lost, our lot is to tack and tune.

Harvey Oxenhorn

Four Ways to Teach the Truths that Transform the World
Guy Finley
(Excerpted from Let Go and Live in the Now)

We human beings are born with an indefinable longing to grow beyond ourselves, to penetrate and illuminate the mysterious depths of our own heart.  The ideal and pursuit of perfection is literally seeded into our soul; it pervades our very being.  Our longing to walk among the stars does not seem out of reach; the wish to be eternal goes with us everywhere.  In more down-to-earth terms, if we wish to live without resentments that linger in our hearts and rid ourselves of fear with all of its debilitating limitations, we must shed the skin of our selfishness.  We must learn what it means to consciously suffer ourselves without complaint and have compassion even toward those with whom we disagree.

Nothing can stop us from receiving the Niagara Falls of celestial impressions whose light not only serves to reveal the still in the dark character of our undeveloped nature, but also pours into us, all that is needed to evolve beyond it.  Now all we need is to learn – and practice – the specialized part we must play in our own transformation.

Say that we've worked hard to be more aware of ourselves in the Now, and that for this effort we catch a glimpse of how quick we are to judge others, to criticize them for their "failings."  This pain that strains us – and those we touch with it – is itself a creation of a false sense of our own perfection.  But our awareness of its punishing presence within us is the same as our invitation to transcend the negative nature that is responsible for it.  So, if we want to realize the higher level of Self that reveals the need for further transformation, then we have work to do.  We must actualize this new level of ourselves by acting from our new understanding in a whole different way.

In each instance where we see that we still have more to understand about ourselves, we must use our lives to become a living example of those qualities of character that we need to learn.  In other words, in order to transcend what we have seen as limiting us, we must teach, by example, what we would further understand.

Following are four ways to teach the truths that transform the world we live in, even as we ourselves are transformed by our own actions.  It is vital for us to remember that these suggested practices are designed to help us achieve an enhanced spiritual balance in ourselves, even as, through these same actions, we teach others around us about the possibility of living from a whole new order of self-understanding.

  1)   We teach others when we do not react in alarm to some potentially frightening news or event.  The world around us receives the lesson that those events – in themselves – do not have the power to make or break the awakened soul.  Our lesson – if we will teach it – is to see that we need not ride along on our own three-alarm nature that loves getting set off.

2)   We teach others when they can see us laugh at our own mistakes.  The world around us receives the lesson that there is a big difference between making a mistake and thinking of oneself as being a mistake.  Our lesson – if we will teach it – is to see that any compulsive wish to be seen as perfect in the eyes of the world is a punishment that can never be a part of our true peace and contentment.

3)   We teach others around us when we won't give voice to complaint. The world around us receives the lesson that there are superior ways to handle times of discomfort or disappointment that do not include expressing negative emotions.  Our lesson – if we will teach it – is to see that we can use passing dark states to awaken to and realize an interior wisdom that knows how to use everything for its own growth.

4)   We teach others whenever we refuse to psychologically defend ourselves – be this against simple sarcasm or even vicious slander.  The world around us receives the lesson that what is true needs no defense and that what is false cannot be defended.  Our lesson – if we will teach it – is the realization that people only feel the need to attack what frightens them and that we need never live in fear of any frightened person.

Our real spiritual development is under invisible laws:  To grow, we must learn.  To learn, we must teach.  To teach we must lead.  To lead, we must make mistakes.  Making mistakes tills the ground of us, making it receptive to new and higher lessons, and thus the positive spiral completes itself, even as it rises above its original starting point.

Take these suggested exercises and work with them to teach the truths that transform the world around and within you.  Make up your own exercises based on the lessons you know that life is asking you to learn. Always strive to remember that anything we work to change in ourselves cannot help but change everything.  What can be more promising than that?

Guy Finley is Founder and Director of the Life of Learning Foundation, devoted to helping people realize their True Relationship with Life.  Guy is the author of over 30 books and audio albums that have sold over a million copies in 15 languages worldwide, and is on the faculty of the Omega Institute, the nation's largest and most trusted holistic education provider.  Guy's radio program "Letting Go with Guy Finley" airs Sundays on Lime Radio (Sirius Radio Channel 114), and his live, call-in radio program "Guy Finley Live" airs monthly on HealthyLife.net as part of the network's "Visionary Celebrity Host Series."  For more information about Guy Finley and Life of Learning call (541) 476-1200 or visit www.guyfinley.com, where you can also sign up to receive a free, weekly Key Lesson.

There are some things that never fail to disappoint me, yet I am beginning to question the basis for my disappointment!

When we are disappointed, it is because things are not the way we expect them and/or want them to be.  In fact, disappointment is so common and frequent an experience, it is a wonder we often don't recognize it, or don't recognize it sooner, rather than later!  Yet, the fact that it is such a ready reaction is cause enough to question it.

Why do we so frequently, and predictably, experience disappointment? The answer probably lies in another question that we need to ask ourselves: Why do we want things to be a certain way and not the way they are?  Is it because we are convinced that our way is the only way, or the only way for us?  Is it because we are too fearful to consider any other way?  Is it because we are reluctant to accept things as they are?

As long as we carry an idealized version of how things and people, including ourselves, should be, we are likely to continue experiencing disappointment in our lives.  Sometimes, that disappointment is so automatic a response that it quickly turns into anger, and before we know it, we have said or done something to express that disappointment-turned-anger!

When we take time to consider the reasons for our disappointment, we may come to realize that our self-appointed position in the centre of our world/worldview, is one which disregards the equally central position that every other person/thing also validly holds!  To expect things to be a certain way for our benefit and/or happiness is to fail to acknowledge the interdependence of all and see its rather more kaleidoscopic view!  For no matter how 'wrong', or 'unfavourable' or 'unjust' something/someone may appear to us, it is a view perceived from the central vantage point of our personal ego, and can therefore only ever be a partial view.  If we attempted to look at it from another vantage point, it is likely we might see the view differently or see a different view altogether!

To experience disappointment is as much an expression of our humanness as it is to experience joy or anger or fear etc. To steel ourselves against disappointment would be to fail to see and accept things as they are.  Apathy and/or indifference is neither prevention nor cure for disappointment.  Rather, compassionate acceptance and wise enthusiasm will help us seek to bring about changes if and when they are necessary and which speak to the wider and longer view.

© 2002 Lucy Lopez, INSPIRED PRESENCE
Personal  Development - Mentoring & Workshop Facilitation
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When we don't acknowledge the finish line, we have no cues for which direction we should take today.  By the time we finally approach the end of the race, we will be so lost and disoriented that we'll be in danger of collapsing without ever reaching the goal.  In avoiding the knowledge of our eventual decline and death we are not equipping ourselves for the difficult demands those final miles will make on us, and we may find out too late that we were never truly alive.

If, on the other hand, we accept  the fact of our mortality and integrate that knowledge into our current consciousness, we will be able to move closer to the essence of who we are.  This is where we can discover larger meanings.  This knowing will be our most powerful internal resource as we live out our lives.  Consciously allowing ourselves to be honed and deepened by experience -- including loss and dependence -- we can attain the emotional and spiritual depth that is wisdom, plus an internal freedom that engages fully with life even as we are dying.  These will be the crowning achievements of a long and completed life.  Late life, even with chronic illness, carries the potential for depth of meaning and purpose not possible at earlier stages.

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In today’s society many baby boomers are searching for something that is illusive and difficult to obtain. They search long and hard not only to find it, but to feel the satisfaction that finding it may bring. This search takes them on a journey through life that has a profound effect on their relationships with others as well as their overall happiness and well being. What they are searching for is Success.

How Do We Create Our Definition of Success?

The baby boomer generation’s definition of success began forming at an early age. As children they watched their fathers and mothers work hard to achieve success through home ownership, a good paying job and the obtainment of material possessions. Some moved to bigger houses and their parents purchased more expensive cars as spendable income increased. At Christmas time they may have found that the presents got more expensive and numerous as well. In receiving all of these things many found that their working parents spent less time with them as children. Now they know that time is what they most cherished.

Some baby boomers grew up in a family where their parents worked hard but never seemed to have anything. The house was small and the car was always old and in the mechanics shop. Material possessions were never abundant. Children raised in this type of situation may have formed their definition of success from other successful people, society and the media. Not having the trappings of success made them more determined to achieve it in their adult life. They were going to be "more successful than their parents." In the final analysis were they?

As a baby boomer I followed my parents’ example after high school and attended college hoping it would lead to a good career. Like many I found that it was difficult to land that perfect job after graduation and I became frustrated that success was still out of reach. After a period of job moves searching for that "perfect position" I reached the pinnacle stage of my career. Like my friends I worked to purchase the biggest house, nicer cars, better clothes and other material possessions to validate my success. Each year the debt levels increased that required a higher salary. The additional debt caused me to feel "handcuffed" to my job. In our north Dallas neighborhood there were many of my neighbors that purchased expensive homes but did not have the money for furniture. They created an illusion of success on the outside of their stately two story homes. If success was the accumulation of material things were these people successful? Almost everything they owned of value was actually owned by the credit card companies and the mortgage holder. What price were they really paying for success?

How Do We Evaluate Success?

There comes a time in everyone’s life when one starts evaluating his or her success. Part of the evaluation is spent looking at the sacrifices made along the way and what is there to show for all the effort, blood, sweat and tears. In essence what was the price for success in tangible and intangible terms? An example might be the many moves a family had to go through for the father/mother to get the promotions and higher salaries. The impact on children frequently changing schools and making new friends. Stresses caused by increased responsibility with each new position and the effect that stress had on the family’s happiness. Once the evaluation is completed many individuals question the value of "success" even if material possessions and the money is abundant. Some realize that the price paid to reach success was too high. They yearn for the happiness, true fulfillment and peace of mind they never had.

Did I Ever Achieve Success?

I am one that followed the course of success established by my parents. As a baby boomer societal influences also had an impact on my definition and striving for success. I climbed the career ladder knowing that when I reached the top I would achieve success and fulfillment. I found out I was wrong. A comment that my supportive and loving wife of 23 years made to me several years ago during my hectic corporate days really made me think about what I was doing. One beautiful evening while walking the dog she said " Fred, you know we were the happiest when we first started out. You didn’t make much money. We had that rental house, the old furniture and the old car." Another comment made by my oldest son when he was 16 was "dad when I grow up I don’t want to be like you, you don’t like your job and you never seem happy." When you receive this kind of input you know something about your path to success isn’t quite right. I have also learned that many children of baby boomers are not defining success the same way my generation did.

I Finally Found Success

I gathered up the courage and gave up the high paying corporate job in north Dallas. We moved to a small Colorado town for a year of college teaching. I remember the reactions I received from family and coworkers. My wife and children were ready for adventure but my mother thought I was going through a mid life crisis. I was jumping off the "success train" established by her generation. Colleagues at work either thought I was crazy or were actually envious of my new life change. One corporate officer said that he wished that he could do something like I did, but he was afraid his wife and children would be upset to give up the big house and all of the possessions. I’m sorry to say that I think he is still searching for success. I quickly found that giving up the corporate politics and business suits was easy. So was the two-hour daily commute to my office in north Dallas. In Colorado I walked across the street to work and wore sport shirts, khaki pants and hiking boots. Currently I am living with my family in a small college town in the North Georgia Mountains. I work at home. My wife is a schoolteacher. I have reached success at 46. I only wish I could have reached it sooner.

My New Perspective on Success

What I now realize is that success does not have to be a lengthy journey. Unfortunately most of us have to learn this by going through life striving for career achievement and paying the price. True success is based on how we view things relating to our life and career. Success does not mean obtaining material possessions or career status. I learned from friends we met in Colorado that some people with little money are successful. We had college teaching friends that did not have a great deal of money but enjoyed simple things like making biscotti, buying a good bottle of wine, listening to jazz at the coffee shop or exploring the mountains. They had more than I ever had when I was using society’s definition of success. True success is genuine satisfaction, happiness and contentment with yourself and the world around you. Truly enjoying life, family, friends, work, hobbies and all that life has to offer.

I invite you to find it and enjoy it.

Fred W. Tanner is a professional life and business coach. He assists individuals seeking a simpler life, wanting to change careers or wanting happiness and fulfillment in their current situation. He also assists businesses in marketing, management and planning issues. First coaching session is Free. For info visit http://www.lifebizcoach.com

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