Lydia Maria Child

Giving encouragement to others is a most welcome gift, for the results are lifted spirits, increased self-worth, and a hopeful future.

Florence Littauer

Ideal conversation must be an exchange of thought and not, as many of those who worry most about their shortcomings believe, an eloquent exhibition of wit or oratory.

Emily Post

Unfortunately, many people are in survival mode—rushing from day to day, week to week barely noticing what is taking place around them. Seasons change, holidays pass, and birthdays come and go with more emphasis on the activity surrounding the event rather than what the event means. People seem to squeeze n a few moments of enjoyment, but inevitably begin planning for tomorrow or rehashing yesterday.

For many taking care of oneself is a catch-as-catch-can proposition—seldom taking time to replenish oneself emotionally, spiritually and physically. For many people, living a rich and rewarding life is a goal that is seldom fully realized.

The key to living a rich and rewarding life is the act of ‘being present’—truly being ‘in the moment,’ savoring every smell, taste, sound and nuance. Being connected to yourself as you move from within to the world around you.

People who successfully remain present in their day-to-day lives demonstrate the following practices:

• Have a purpose—something that inspires you to be more. It is difficult to thrive without an acknowledged purpose.

• Give and receive love—family, friends, companions and/or a life partner.

• Give back—be it joy or time.

• Make the most of every moment—accepting what is and not taking things for granted.

• Be as interested in others as one is in oneself. More often than not people think if they are more interested in others they will be liked and therefore receive as much as they give. We have lost the true meaning of self-fulfillment. Giving to yourself first doesn’t mean you are ‘selfish.’ You can not truly give to another that which you do not give to yourself.

• Cultivate close meaningful relationships within the family or recreated family.

• Foster meaningful and in depth conversations with those people whom you care about.

• Achieving balance creates happiness and ease of Living Life.

• Keep things simple. Avoid the trap of keeping up with the Jones’ syndrome.

• Forgive yourself and others for past transgressions. Remember: Forgiveness is for your well-being and not the other person.

• Maintain health—physical, mental, emotional and spiritual

My desire is that this article will inspire and assist you in evaluating your current situation. Are you Living or Surviving? If you need help to make the paradigm shift from surviving to living, talk to a friend, family member or professional. Make LIVING instead of just surviving the highest priority goal in your life. Once you have all the cobwebs, bad habits, and self-defeating behaviors cleaned out of your life and begin LIVING your life, you will notice it is exceedingly easy to LIVE life. It is knowing where to start and clearing the path that takes concentrated time and effort.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Author, International Speaker, Life Coach. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Reproduced with permission from the Jim Rohn Weekly E-zine.

Our Fears and Worries Can Distort the Reality of the Situation
Stanley Popovich

At times, our worries and anxieties can overwhelm us.  In addition, our worries can distort our perception of what is reality and what is not.  Here is a brief list of techniques that you can use to help gain a better perspective on things during your anxious moments.

When feeling anxious, stop what you are doing and try to do something relaxing.  You should take a deep breath and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem.  You could get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give you a fresh perspective on things.

Remember that our fearful thoughts are exaggerated and can make the problem worse.  A good way to manage your worry is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking.  When encountering thoughts that make you fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.

When overwhelmed with worry, you may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming at you all at once.  Instead of getting upset, remember that these thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality.  From my interviews with various professionals, I’ve learned that usually it is the fear behind the thoughts that gets us worked up.  Ignore the fear behind these thoughts and your worry should decrease.

Be smart in how you deal with your fears and anxieties.  Do not try to tackle everything all at once.  When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, break the task into a series of smaller steps.  Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Remember that all the worrying in the world will not change anything.  Most of what we worry about never comes true.  Instead of worrying about something that probably won’t happen, concentrate on what you are able to do.  Everything else you can leave in the hands of God.

In every anxiety-related situation you experience, begin to learn what works, what doesn’t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties.  For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better.  The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk.  This will give you the confidence to manage your anxiety the next time around.

It is not easy to deal with all of our fears and worries.  When your fears and anxieties have the best of you, try to calm down and then get the facts of the situation.  The key is to take it slow.  All you can do is to do your best each day, and when something does happen, take it in stride.  Take it one step at a time and things will work out.

 Stan Popovich is the author of A Layman's Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods - an easy-to-read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information, visit http://www.managingfear.com/ 

Stepping onto the Road Less Traveled

Today's the day we leave our home of the last eight years.  My wife's children have grown and moved out of the house, and we now have a house that's far too big for just two people--it makes no sense for us to continue to live in such a large place.  So we've decided that rather than play things safe, it's time for us to take seriously the idea of living our lives fully, and do something completely different, something that involves risk and change and newness and learning and growth and even sacrifice.

When we drive away this morning, we'll be doing so in a motor home that we bought just for this occasion.  We didn't buy it for touring purposes, though--this 31-foot motor home will be our sole home for the next 13-19 months, at least.  We're going to live in two small rooms in which everything we have will be packed away using every possible square inch of storage space.  We'll have only a shower with a six-gallon water heater, so there will be no more baths or long, luxurious hot showers.  Our living room, dining room, and kitchen are all together, and our bedroom fits little more than the bed.

We've both left our jobs.  I'm no longer at the college where I've been for over six years, and my wife has left her job as a travel agent, too.  The jobs that we'll start in four weeks will pay us both significantly less, but that's okay with us--we'll be living and working at the south rim of the Grand Canyon, so we have a lot to look forward to that doesn't have anything to do with money or possessions or the size of our living space.  We're taking off on what to us amounts to an adventure, and we're both looking forward to it a great deal.

The change already has had many benefits.  We've had to get rid of tons of possessions, including most of our furniture, my CD and book collections, and lots of stuff that has decorated our home for years, but was far from necessary in our lives ("incidental, not integral," said Maude in Harold and Maude).  I can't begin to describe the relief that I've felt in watching these things move on to other owners.  As the number of our possessions dwindles, the strength of the simplicity in our lives grows, and we're both looking forward to much simpler times with far fewer possessions to maintain and keep.

One of the most important things to both of us is the idea of what we're going to do with our lives.  We think about five or ten years from now, when we look back at those few years after the children leave the home and before the grandchildren start showing up:  What will we have done with that time?  We can stay where we are, paying a large mortgage on a house that's now too big for us and continuing on in jobs that we enjoy, but that don't offer much opportunity for growth.  Or we can do something exciting and different, take a risk or three and learn about a new place and meet new people.

What we're doing isn't for everyone, obviously.  And neither of us would be so arrogant as to say that if someone doesn't do something like this, they're not living their lives fully.  That's simply not true--many people much prefer the consistency and stability of staying in one place, and there are many people who depend upon them to be there.  But that's not where we're at right now, and we're looking to make an important difference in our lives while we can.  I don't believe for a second that what we're about to do is the only option for us if we want to live our lives fully, but I am sure that in our case, sticking around and continuing to do the same things for no real reason would not be living fully.

Change and new opportunities don't always just come to us.  Often we have to look for them in our situations in life, in the twists and turns that our personal roads are leading us through.  And when we see the opportunities, we can do ourselves a great service by taking them and moving our lives into new, more challenging levels.  We're going on an adventure--we're not running or hiding from anything, and we're not trying to escape from anything.  We're just adding a new dimension to who we are as human beings, and ten years from now we'll have a great time to look back on, and our new experience will be something that we can share with others, hopefully to their benefit.

(By the way, in case you're interested I'm going to be keeping an online journal of this journey, called the Canyon Journals.  I won't be focusing on myself, but on experiences and what I hope to learn from them.  You can read it by clicking here.)