John Daido Loori

One going to take a pointed stick to poke a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel
how it hurts.

West African Proverb

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Richard Bach

You say 1994 wasn't an especially, upbeat year for you?  That happens.  No problem.  Go back two, three years more if you need to until you come upon an image that makes you smile.  The important thing is to stay in the game.

When in doubt, feed the birds.  Write a letter.  The exercise will benefit your immortal soul and absolutely floor the recipient.  Teach yourself to tie a few good knots.  While you're at it, knit up the raveled sleeve.  Allow 10 minutes extra for everything.  Feed the birds.

Listen as the teakettle whistles.  Watch it steam up the kitchen windows.  Write down Grandmother's recipe for potato pancakes Parmesan, before you lose it again.  Avoid throngs.  Laugh out loud when you feel like it.  For one day, leave your wristwatch at home.  Learn to whittle; throw shavings into the fireplace, where they will do some good.

Break the mold.  Drive a different route to work.  Say "good morning" to those glowering faces in the elevator; don't worry: Most people don't bite.  Be aware of the fact that that rock salt on sidewalks can kill grass.  Watch dawn arrive; see how many colors the sky turns.

Take a deep breath.  Count your blessings.  Harboring a grudge against someone?  Has it helped?  (Didn't think so.)  Sing, if only in the shower.  Get older family members to tape their reminiscences, Wiggle your toes.  Next time you make chili, add extra spice, whistle while you work.  Go for a run.  Remember to feed the birds.  Take a chance now and then.  Look for a new friend.  Telephone an old friend.  Seize the moment.  Believe in yourself.  If you keep kicking yourself, you're going to fall down.  Davey Crockett, he of the long rifle and wild frontier, said, "Make sure you're right, then go ahead." A carpenter says:  "Measure twice, cut once.  "Take your choice.

Breathe deeply.  Let your memory slip back to that summer when you were quite small, at the beach with your family, and your Father hoisted you onto his shoulders and waded into the lake until his knees were covered.  You had never seen so much water.  You trusted your father totally.  Close your eyes.  Squint hard, relax.  How long ago was that first date with the person you later married - 25 years?  30 years?  More?  Certainly a long, long time.  Just as certainly, a very short time.  How can it be both?  I've no idea.  But it is.  Smile.  Give a loved one a good, strong hug, just on general principles.  Because we never can tell, can we?  Don't forget to feed the birds.

Think about this for a moment.  Humans are said to be the only creatures with a time sense, including an ability to contemplate such a thing as a future.  Does it follow that humankind is the only species able to deal with the concept of hope?  I suspect that we are.  I do believe that the capacity for hope can help us meet stiff challenges.  Open the bedroom window a crack at night; sleep in fresh air.  Take a time-out now and then as a way of reducing stress.  It works for sports teams, long distance truckers and troublesome toddlers so why shouldn't it work for you?

Seize the moment.  Make it your own.  One never has quite enough moments, although we don't know this when we are young.  Then, if we look ahead, we see an endless stream full of moments, so many that we could never count them and all of them available moments are growing scarce; and we wish that we had gone after them when the stream was full.  So, we say again:  Seize the moment - while you can.

As long as you are seizing moments, use the opportunity to divest yourself of all that residual guilt you're carrying around.  Guilt gives us warts and yellow teeth, among other things, and never did anyone any good.  Gather up your guilt, wrap with care and send it Federal Express to your aunt in Idaho, who never gets enough of the stuff.

Forgive.  Smile.  Walk.  Share.  Reach.  Laugh.  Teach.  Learn.  Run.  Believe.  Lift.  Climb.  Understand.  Explore.  Give.  Appreciate.  And, since you can never do all, savor the small moments.  Become grateful.  Stay in the game oh, and remember to look after the birds.

Brian Dickinson was a newspaper reporter and columnist from Rhode Island who died from ALS.  This column was written well into his illness; at the time he had very little movement available to him, and he had to compose this article one letter at a time by looking at letters while an infrared sensor read his eye movements.  You can read more about Brian and his experiences at http://www.projo.com/specials/brian and http://www.brownalumnimagazine.com/printerfriendly.cfm?ID=553.

“What would happen if, rather than dissipating
the energy I was spending on the current activity
by always having the next one in mind, I concentrated
completely on what I was doing at the moment,
without a care about what came next:”

--Eugene O’Kelly

I am writing this article on May 24, 2006.  One year ago today, Eugene O’Kelly stepped into his doctor’s office with a full calendar and a lifetime of plans in mind.  Six days later he resigned as Chairman and CEO of one the largest U.S. accounting firms, KPMG, after he was given the diagnosis of late-stage brain cancer and was told he had three to six months to live. 

I recently read Eugene O’Kelly’s touching memoir, Chasing Daylight: How My Forthcoming Death Transformed My Life, which he wrote in the three and a half months between his diagnosis and his death in September of 2005.  His book reminds us that although our lives and the people in them are temporary joys, the time we spend enjoying them will never be lost.

Prior to his diagnosis, O’Kelly had hired a consultant to help his firm with one of three agendas, noting “the most crucial of the three, the one that I hoped (when I thought about it) would be my legacy: helping our employees to live more balanced lives.”  He writes, “the most important note the consultant sounded was that we would have greater success in achieving our goals if we tried not so much to control time—an impossibility, as it is outside us—and instead tried to control energy— eminently possible, as it is within us.  You can do anything if you give your best energy to it.  Time truly becomes less important.”

In pursuit of more balanced lives, employees of KPMG started making improvements in physical and dietary habits.  The whole point of these modifications, according to O’Kelly, was “to help us feel more alive…to get the most out of each moment and day—and not just pass through it.  I felt that if I could learn to stay in the present moment, to be fully conscious of my surroundings, I would buy myself lots of time that had never been available to me, not in all the years I was healthy.”

Near the end of his life, O’Kelly shared a great piece of advice with his brother, who was very angry about what was happening.  He told his brother to take the energy he was spending being angry at the world, double it, and channel it into love for his children.  Imagine what that would do for humankind if we were all to do that.

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Can you recall a time when you felt undistracted and connected deeply with your own feelings as well as the world around you?

It might have felt as though your mind and spirit joined in close contact with your environment. You could see clearly, listen deeply, and experience beyond what is routine or superficial.

In telling the story of a walk in nature with his daughters, naturalist, Van Waffle, pointed out that keen observation requires a clear mind free of distraction.

It was a warm September day when he, his five-year-old daughter, Marian, and her younger sister were hiking through a meadow. Suddenly Marian pointed across the hillside and said, "Look, a toad!"

Although this seemed like quite an unlikely discovery, Marian had always had a sharp eye, so her father stopped to investigate.

Amazingly, Marian had zeroed in on a tiny, 3-centimeter long, grey tree frog clinging to a stalk of goldenrod.  The frog was camouflaged in a thick blanket of wildflowers, hidden deeply in the shade of their blooms.

Her father described his reaction to Marian's unexpected discovery in this way:

"Marian's ability at five to spot something so small, let alone identify it as an amphibian from a distance, bewildered me.

"A friend later gave me a term for this:  field independence. Some children have a marked capacity to notice an object that is different from its surroundings, even in a complex environment--a mark of high intelligence.

"I believe the phenomenon also reflects a child's openness and lack of distraction. As adults we tend to complicate our lives.

"Too often, I use nature walks as a time for thinking rather than observing . . . Sometimes this is inevitable.  During times of grief or stress we must allow our minds to wander where they need to go.  But part of the gift of nature, as of any relationship, is its power to teach us.  Even during confusing times of life, we can gain a lot by training our minds to be quiet and observe."

Denis Diderot (1713-1784) described three primary means of acquiring knowledge:  observation of nature, reflection, and experimentation.

A child-like curiosity, a desire to know why and how things work, also motivates keen observation. When we reflect, we take our observations and connect them in beneficial ways.

How can we keep that child-like openness that will give us the "field independence" needed to observe closely while managing daily distractions and problems?

First, be curious. Look beyond first impressions.  Dig beneath surface fears to uncover those things that empower you.  Hidden beneath the shade of every challenge lies a strength.

Immerse your spirit and senses in the lessons life holds for you.  Then, before drawing conclusions, reflect on what you have observed.  Your discoveries can influence many lives with enduring value.

© Copyright 2006 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular ezine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Find many great achievement resources by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com