unattributed

There's a self-expansive aspect of gratitude.
Very possibly it's a little known law of nature
the more gratitude you have, the more you have to be grateful for. 

Elaine St. James

Gratitude makes us feel bursting with delight, just to remember the gifts we have received. Thus we are doubly blessed when we receive something--for the gift itself and later, in recall, for the miracle of having been given it.

M.J. Ryan

Jeff Keller is the President of Attitude is Everything, Inc.  For more than 17 years, Jeff has delivered presentations on attitude and motivation to businesses, groups and trade associations throughout the United States and abroad. Jeff is also the author of the highly acclaimed book, Attitude is
Everything. For more information, go to http://www.attitudeiseverything.com

A Different Type of Thanksgiving

My wife and I are going to have a different kind of Thanksgiving this year--a very different kind.  Since we've been married, we've always been able to be together on the holiday, since both of us have had the day off.  We've been in the house we used to live in, so we were able to invite people over and make a very nice day of it, with all the food and trimmings that are traditional for the day.

This year, I'll be working on Thanksgiving Day, from noon to 8:30.  We still don't know if my wife will be working, or what hours she'll have.  This means that no matter what our situation, we won't be able to eat our Thanksgiving meal together.  This year, we live in a motor home, with one small bedroom and one small room that functions as our living room, kitchen, dining room, and study.  We also live hundreds of miles away from our nearest relatives, and thousands of miles away from Terry's family.  We obviously aren't in any position to be inviting people over.

Both of us agree, first of all, that every day is--or should be--Thanksgiving Day.  The assignment of an arbitrary day and date for the holiday is important, but we know that if our situation doesn't allow us to "celebrate" the day with others, we can have our own celebration on a different day when we can spend time together.  Thanksgiving, after all, is a state of mind, and it's up to us to make the most of our circumstances, not to look at the limitations in front of us.

We both love turkey and dressing and yams and pumpkin pie, but if we don't have those things this Thanksgiving, that will be fine.  The food doesn't make the holiday--it merely provides a setting that reminds us of much of what we have to be grateful for.  If Thanksgiving truly is in our hearts, then we can have cheeseburgers and fries and still have a beautiful holiday.  Even if we had cheeseburgers, we'd still have more to eat than millions of people in the world on that day, and that's certainly something to be thankful for, isn't it?

Besides, what's going to stop us from having a more traditional Thanksgiving on Friday or Saturday, when we'll have time together to do so?  Missing the meal on Thursday isn't going to ruin the holiday for us.  In fact, many people celebrate the holiday by volunteering at homeless shelters and soup kitchens, foregoing their own celebrations in order to help to provide a special meal for others who aren't as fortunate as they are.  Are their lives poorer or richer for not having their own private special celebration?

After all, gratitude is in our hearts.  No matter what our outer circumstances, if we face life with a thankful attitude we face life on our own terms, and we don't allow our life situations to bring us up or take us down.  A grateful approach to life gives us a healthy perspective that allows us to see what happens to us as important lessons rather than as trials and tribulations.

We both believe that by "missing" the traditional Thanksgiving celebration, we're going to deepen our gratitude and our understanding of what the day truly means.  By being forced to break with tradition, we're going to test our ability to assign our own meaning to each day in our lives, especially when we celebrate Thanksgiving on a different day than everyone else.  And by working on Thursday, I can provide someone else with a day off, when they can spend the holiday with their loved ones.

All in all, we're both looking forward to the lessons that we'll be learning on Thanksgiving this year, and to the new experiences of a new type of holiday for us.  And we both send you all our best wishes for one of your happiest Thanksgivings ever!

1.  Choose your friends wisely.
If you want to be more grateful, spend time with grateful people. Spend time with positive people to be more positive; joyful people to be more joyful.  If you strive to be spiritually strong, supportive, empowering, intelligent, energetic, and positive, seek those characteristics in others.

Help your friends develop more positive traits by living those positive traits yourself.  Know what kind of friends will help you nurture your soul, and set out to find some.

2.  Help your friends cultivate gratitude.
Before you say anything about a friend's situation, remember that everyone's situation is unique. I've seen it happen to myself and to my friends. They'll be perfectly happy until someone tells them they're being mistreated. Suddenly, they're upset.
 
Don't let your friends wield such power, and work to avoid wielding such power yourself.
 
Day by day, hour by hour, make a goal to avoid complaining about your life. Make a pact with your friends to cut the complaints from your conversations.
 
3.  Give the gift of gratitude to your children.
Help your children to be satisfied and grateful for simple, everyday things by giving thanks aloud.  Keep a Gratitude Journal in which, each day,  you record five or ten things for which you are grateful, and ask your children for contributions.  Give your children a journal of their own or keep a family Gratitude Journal.
 
4.  Say "Thank You."
Whom in your life do you appreciate?  Let them know, whether it's your mom, your kids, your friends, your husband, your child's daycare provider or the helpful woman behind the cosmetics counter.

Write thank you notes regularly - not just after a  gift exchange - and be mindful of all the ways you show your appreciation by the things you do in return.
 
Tell your kids how thankful you are for them. Jot a note to  each of your children in which you tell them how much you  love them, why you're thankful for them, and all the  ways they have enriched your life. This can be  something you give them now or after they have grown.
 
5.  Be mindful of the little things.
Today, strive to be aware of all the aspects of your personal, professional, and family life for which you are thankful.
 
Take a few minutes today to appreciate nature. Go for a walk and notice only those things that are beautiful. Whether you focus on the stars above, a distant mountain range, or the cottonwood tree in your backyard, try to notice the details. Give thanks for the beauty that surrounds us.
 
Regardless of whether you record these items, spend some time each day to focus on the little things in your life that make each day special.  Perhaps it's your child's toothless grin.  A warm home.  Delicious food enjoyed with family.

Together, let's work on focusing on what we have--not on what we don't have-- and all the ways we can help one another have more gratitude for the gift of life.

About the author:
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Momscape's Online Scrapbooking Magazine - sites devoted to celebrating life with children. Learn more about her scrapbooking club or about starting your own scrapbooking business on Susie's team. Visit her site today to subscribe to her free newsletters.