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Stand for Something
John Kasich

New Rules
Helaine Iris

Living out Loud
Iyanla Vanzant

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I know a guy named Albert Lexie, and for my money Albert is the heart and soul of America.  He dropped out of school when he was fifteen and took up shoeshining for a living.  That was his calling.  Albert's a little different than the rest of us.  He actually listens when he asks how you're doing.  You give him an answer.  He listens.  So, right there, he's different.

One Sunday afternoon, Albert was at home watching a telethon on Pittsburgh television, to benefit the children's hospital there.  And, watching, he fell in love with a little girl he saw on the telethon and with the thought of how he might help her, on Monday morning he went to his bank and withdrew every penny he had in savings.  Eight hundred bucks, give or take a couple pennies.  Albert Lexie took that money and went down to the hospital and gave them every last cent.  Hospital administrators found out about this, and a little bit about Albert Lexie, and they reached out to him and asked him to come shine shoes at their hospital.  To which Albert responded, "Look, I'm pretty busy.  I can give you two days a week."  Which is just what he's done--for the last twenty years.  He hops a bus for the half-hour trip to the hospital, straps on his tool box, which weighs about thirty pounds.

He's got all his stuff in there.  His brushes, his polish, and his special "magic" sauce that gives his customers that extra shine.  He goes from doctor's office to doctor's office, nurse's station to nurse's station.  Spend any kind of time in that hospital on Tuesdays and Thursdays when Albert's working and you'll see doctors and nurses traipsing around without their shoes on.  He's become a fixture--an oasis for folks desperate to talk, to get their minds off whatever else it is that brought them to the hospital in the first place.

He charges three bucks for a pair of shoes, and he slips that money into his right-hand pocket because that's what he lives on, but he takes his tip money and slips that into his left-hand pocket, because that's what he means to donate back to the hospital.  Over the years, he's collected more than $100,000 in tip money, and he's used that money to help parents cover their bills and other attendant costs associated with their children's long-term care.  He was voted Pittsburgh's "Philanthropist of the Year" in 2000, and it was about time.  And, it was about leadership.

Guys like Albert Lexie are the heart and soul of this nation.  They move America every bit as meaningfully as Franklin Roosevelt or Ronald Reagan.  And it doesn't end there.  In our communities--big and small, rich and poor--we struggle with education.  The knee-jerk response is that we're not giving our public school children what it takes to meet the challenges of today, and in many schools that's unfortunately the case.  Not so at the Frederick Douglass Academy, a small public school in Harlem.  The school was shut down in the late 1980's due to excessive violence, but it has reopened in the middle 1990's with renewed promise.  It was still located across the street from a burned-out crack house, but it was now being run by folks with the vision to look past their surroundings.  Now, the kids don't go to school in their Britney Spears t-shirts, or in baggy pants "sacked" halfway down to their knees.  There's a dress code, and there's no wising off to the teacher.  Students say, "Yes, ma'am" and "No, sir."  There are no study halls or free periods or gut classes that encourage students to skate by on little effort.  If you do well on trigonometry, you get kicked up to advanced trigonometry.  They've got rules, and expectations, and if you mean to stay there you've got to meet them all.

And guess what?  The students are thriving.  They've gone from wondering where they're going to get their next meal to wondering where they're going to go to college.  The first graduating class in 2001, there were 105 graduates.  Out of that group, 104 went on to college.  The one student who didn't go to college became a Navy SEAL.  In 2002, there were 120 graduates and each and every one of them went to college.  And in 2003, they were 115 for 115--netting over $5 million in scholarships.  Not bad for a bunch of administrators and teachers dedicated to old-fashioned values like hard work and teamwork and discipline.  Once again, for good measure, that's leadership.

Okay, so what does all this have to do with the rest of us?  We're not Jesse Owens or Davis Love III.  We're not Albert Lexie or the administrators at the Frederick Douglass Academy.  So what about us?  Where is our shared ability to recognize and harness this type of leadership in our own communities, in ourselves?  Where is our responsibility to stand tall in the face of these low expectations?  For me, the answer comes in a book written almost two thousand years ago:  St. Augustine's Confessions.  It's a tough little book, written in the fifth century, but I take it with me wherever I go.  It's got a powerful message that I believe resonates here.  St. Augustine maintains that each and every one of us has a special gift, and that it falls to each and every one of us to unwrap those gifts and share them with the rest of the world.  I like that image a whole lot, because I look at gifts the like I look at stars.  have you ever seen an ugly star?  I never have.  They're all just magnificent.  You look through the telescope and see that some of them flame brightly in the night sky and some are so far off as to be nearly unrecognizable.  And every last one seems just about as special and magnificent as a thing can be, but none of them are quite the same.  That, to me, is a true gift.  We find them in the heavens, and we find them here on earth.  We find them in our friends and family, and we find them in ourselves.  And, significantly, we find them in our leaders.

Now, here's what I know, as sure as I set my pen to paper:  Discover your own gifts and you will give your life new meaning.  Find the courage to share those gifts with the rest of us and you will give all our lives new meaning.  I can't tell you what your gifts are, just as you can't pinpoint mine, but I can tell you they lie in wait.  Oh, they're out there, waiting for you to come upon them and put them to good use, and it is in the putting to good use of our unique gifts that we will rediscover our health and strength as a nation.  After all, we are all stars, in our own way.  We all shine uniquely.  We all share the power to grow and change and re-imagine the world around.  Find your gift and you will find your way.  Join a team.  Become a part of something bigger than yourself.  Throw in with all of the other stars in your community and help to form a giant constellation, built together on the back of courage and faith and determination.  And, above all, leadership.  Take charge.  If you see something happening that sets you off, rise up and do something about it.

Stand for something.
  

New Rules
Helaine Iris
  

Last week I was working with one of my small business clients, a bright and dynamic woman who's passionate about positioning her artisan business for growth.  We were talking about her financial picture and forecasting robust sales over the next three years.

As I coached her, she expressed excitement and eagerness to see her dreams turn into reality, yet somewhere, just below the surface, I sensed subtle resistance on her part to fully imagine the scenario we were painting.

I asked her about what she was feeling.  After stopping for a moment to "feel into" my observation, she tentatively at first, then heartily agreed. Then she got very curious about her seemingly incongruous resistance to success.

"Sarah", I asked, "What is your 'rule' about financial success?  In other words, what belief do you carry (deep down) about money?"  It didn't take long for her to respond.  "Well," she reported, "if you're financially successful, it means you have to give up on your values and your integrity."

Wow!  By uncovering that one rule, Sarah hit pay dirt.  She was now free to clearly see that one disempowering rule she had been carrying her entire life.

Taking a look at the rules that drive your thinking is a very powerful activity to help you grow as a person, especially as a business owner. Another wise client of mine once said, "There's no way to separate who we are from what we do."  You can have the most empowered business plans in the world and if your inner life and dialog is disempowered, forget it.  It's an uphill battle.

What are your 'under-the surface rules' that run your life and business? To explore, ask yourself:  Where are you consistently stuck in your business?  What are the things that always hang you up?  What are the recurring thoughts or themes you could write the book about?

I invite your willingness to explore.  You have only strength and success to gain.  Here are some examples of themes we all know too well:

I can't quite break through to financial success.

I default to fear and lack.

I always feel overwhelmed and exhausted and out of time.

Procrastination is my middle name.

I walk up to the edge of a challenge and then back away.

I avoid.

I would suggest that behind every common theme, you have a rule.  For example, if you're like Sarah and you can't break through to financial success, you might have a rule that says, "People that make money, sell out."  Or, if you are constantly procrastinating, you might have a rule that says, "If I succeed, I'll wind up alone."  (Maybe you experienced a parent who worked a lot and was unhappy, and you concluded that success equals unhappiness).

Explore where your rules came from by asking:  When did the rule get created?  What were the circumstances?  Ask, if you were to change that rule, what would happen?  Who would be upset?  Who would get hurt or feel betrayed?

Take heart--you created your rules for a good reason.  We all create meaning about life from our experiences and then create rules to keep us safe, secure and sane.  The problem comes when we neglect to inquire or challenge the current validity of our rules.

You have the ability to move beyond your limited rules by becoming aware of them, disqualifying them (if they don't serve you), and then making new rules based on your current reality.  I challenge you to give it a try.

As for Sarah, she created a new rule that says she can be financially successful, maintain her values, fulfill her dream and express her passion in the world.  What's YOUR new rule?

It's your life--live it completely!

© Helaine Iris.  Helaine is a professional coach and writer who has been featured in numerous publications, including "O" The Oprah Magazine.  She helps entrepreneurs and professional women accelerate their professional success, while achieving a more complete and fulfilling personal life.  She combines a broad range of professional experience in her work, including management positions in the education, training, retail and international non-profit sectors.  Free Initial Consultation: For a solution-focused, initial consultation visit http://www.pathofpurpose.com, call Helaine at 603-357-8546 or email her helaine@pathofpurpose.com

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I am now receptive to the idea that it is time for me to stop whispering and to start living out loud.

Stop hiding!  Stop holding yourself back and playing yourself down!  Stop worrying about how you look and what people are saying.  Stop listening to what people are saying and trying to find out if they are whispering about you.  Stop waiting for someone to tell you that you are okay or to make you feel special.  Life is special!  It is a special gift.  This is your life!  Now take your gift and live it out in the open!  Decide today that you are going to live out loud!

Living out loud means having the courage to be exactly who you are without apology.  It means admitting your mistakes without beating yourself up.  It means not taking who you are and what you have for granted.  Release all shame!  Release all guilt!  You cannot live out loud if you are hiding behind what was.  Living out loud means focusing on what is, right now, and that is you!

To live out loud means showing up as your authentic self, without your makeup or your toupee.  It means acknowledging your shortcomings and celebrating your strengths.  Living out loud means broadcasting your needs, your likes and your dislikes as they relate to your fears and frustrations.  It means that you let people know exactly who you are and expect them to be as thrilled as you are about who you are.

In order to live out loud you must have faith in yourself and in the process of life.  You must have principles you live by and standards by which you can govern and gauge yourself.  Most important, in order to live out loud you must love yourself enough to tell yourself and everyone else the absolute truth about you.  When you can do that, you can live out loud and be very proud about what the world will hear about you.

Until today, you may have been living your life in a whisper.  Just for today, take one step toward pumping up your volume.  Stand up in yourself!  Stand up and be yourself!
   

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The Master looked at him and said, "If you meditate four hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in ten years."

Thinking he could do better, the man then said, "Oh, Master, what if I meditated eight hours a day, how long will it take me to transcend?"

The Master looked at him and said, "If you meditate eight hours a day, perhaps you will transcend in twenty years."

"But why will it take me longer if I meditate more?" the man asked.

The Master replied, "You are not here to sacrifice your joy or your life.  You are here to live, to be happy, and to love.  If you can do your best in two hours of meditation, but you spend eight hours instead, you will only grow tired, miss the point, and you won't enjoy your life.  Do your best, and perhaps you will learn that no matter how long you meditate, you can live, love, and be happy."

Don Miguel Ruiz