Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Those who always greet and constantly revere the aged, for things will increase to them:  life, beauty, happiness, power.

the Buddha

A handful of pine seed will cover mountains with the green majesty of forest.  I too will set my face to the wind and throw my handful of seed on high.

Fiona Macleod

Rose Barthel said, "Happiness is a conscious choice.  It is not an automatic response."  Happiness is an attitude--not a when and a where but a here and a now.

Dennis Prager said, "Fun is what we experience during an act.  Happiness is what we experience after an act.  It is a deeper, more abiding emotion."  Going to an amusement park or ball game, or watching a movie or television program, helps us relax and temporarily forget our problems and maybe even laugh.  But these activities do not bring happiness because their positive effect ends when the fun ends.

Prager also observed that people who claim to believe that a fun-filled, pain-free life equals happiness actually diminish their chances of attaining real happiness.  If fun and pleasure equate with happiness, then it stands to reason that pain must equate with unhappiness.  But the opposite is true.  More times than not, things that lead to happiness involve some pain.  He's right.  Happiness is not pleasure; it's victory over odds that seem to be insurmountable.

For the last three decades Americans have pursued the almighty dollar, and our real purchasing power has gone up significantly.  However, all studies indicate that the quality of life has not improved.  In short, the pursuit of the money does not produce the happiness that most people seek.  Kids say they prefer their parents' presence over their presents.  Husbands and wives say they want more time together, yet stay so busy either earning more money or watching television that time spent with friends and family has declined.  By contrast, the Amish people, who are a religious, close-knit family group with few material goods, are much happier because they have the security of family and friends when difficulties come.

Cultivate friendships and stay close to your family because one of these days you will say either, "I'm glad I did," or "I wish I had."
   

Resilience All around

It sometimes amazes me to find out new things about people I thought I knew.  Yesterday a colleague told me a bit of her history with her family as a child, for we were talking about working with at-risk kids, and her story made it very clear that she was pretty much at-risk herself.  I know other people who came from backgrounds similar to hers who have made a lot of their lives, who have accomplished an amazing number of things in their lives in spite of their childhoods.

I know other people who faced their greatest challenges in adulthood, when they were fired unfairly from jobs, when a spouse was unfaithful, when they went through serious health problems, when they had to suffer through the death of a loved one--the ways that we end up suffering are incredibly numerous, but it amazes me just how many people are able to come through that suffering not just whole, but even a bit stronger than they were beforehand.

I think that the thing that amazes me the most is the fact that it's almost impossible to pick these people out from others in a crowd.  I once worked with a woman who was battling cancer the entire time I knew her; because she preferred to keep that battle secret, none of us in our office knew how much she was suffering until we came to work one day and were told that she had passed away the night before.

One of the reasons that I rarely get upset with students is that I've read papers written by all of them that have been in my classes.  In those papers I read about violent family situations, lost loved ones, betrayal, hopelessness, despair, emotional and physical abuse, and many other things that teenagers simply shouldn't have to deal with ever, much less at their vulnerable age.  So when I see a student acting out in my class, I have to step back and ask myself what might be behind the behaviors, for I know that many of the kids are hiding very well situations that might make other people crumble.  It's not always the case, obviously, but it's often enough true that it would be a huge disservice to them if I were always to punish or chastise for every little thing that they do.

It's easy to watch sports and feel a bit of envy for the athletes who have had the time and money to dedicate themselves to training, rather than living a "real life" like the rest of us.  After all, they travel the world to compete, seeing wonderful new countries and staying in nice hotels and living a life of apparent luxury.  It falls into a clearer perspective, however, when we learn of some of the obstacles that many athletes have gone through to get where they are.  Lance Armstrong's cancer battle is one of the most famous, but there are Olympic gold medallists who have suffered life- or career-threatening accidents; professional football players who have overcome huge obstacles to finish college and move on to the pros; athletes everywhere who were told as children that they were wasting their time, that they'd never reach their dreams.

The woman in the next cubicle may be raising three children on her own because her husband left her and her children, yet she comes to work every day for the sake of her children, even though she's worried about their health care and their well-being.  The man at the register at the supermarket may be like a former neighbor of mine, who went through a long battle with melanoma, but never burdened his neighbors with that fact.  Your waitress at the restaurant may be trying to put herself through nursing school while living on meager wages, sleeping only three or four hours a night.  That man who's fixing your car may go home to a wife who has been ill for years and who can't work, so it's up to him to support them both, and that's why he has a second job that we don't know about when we see him fixing our car.

Life is not as it seems.  We know that.  But it may make our lives easier--and richer--when we keep in mind that we're surrounded by people who have made their ways through obstacles that we can't even imagine going through.  We're surrounded by courageous, resilient people who haven't given up when times have been hard--or who aren't giving up even though times are difficult for them now.  If we can recognize this fact and allow it to be a part of ourselves, we may find that the strength we recognize in others can help us to get through our own difficulties, for we have many role models all around us, even though we're blind to them as role models simply because we don't see their problems.  But there's no need to stay ignorant of this fact--let's start looking at the people around us as the amazing and wonderful human beings that they are, and not just as anonymous people whom we don't know.

from "The Dangers of Distracted Driving," by Ker Than, TechNewsDaily

The U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) recently launched a website, www.distraction.gov, to educate the public about how dangerous distracted driving is.

"At the U.S. Department of Transportation, we heard America’s call to end the dangerous practice of distracted driving on our nation’s roadways," a statement on the Web site reads. "Distracted driving is a serious, life-threatening practice and we will not rest until we stop it."

The Web site cites several university studies that show, among other things, that using a cell phone while driving delays a driver's reactions as much as having a blood alcohol concentration at the legal limit of .08 percent, and that driving while using a cell phone reduces the amount of brain activity associated with driving by 37 percent.

A 2006 study by researchers at the University of Utah that involved a driving simulator showed that people who talk on their cell phones while driving are as impaired as drunk drivers. In fact, text-messaging drivers may be even more dangerous: While some of the participants crashed their virtual vehicles while sober and chatting, none of them crashed while drunk.

Texting while driving can also increase the likelihood of running over and killing pedestrians, a 2009 study by the same team found. That research, which involved 21 teens and a driving simulator, found that texting while driving or even fiddling with music players while driving increased "lane position deviation" and rapid changes in speed.