Good day!
Welcome to Tuesday, and thanks much for being here.
We hope that you're able to make this one of your best days ever.

With Love. . . Leo
Leo Buscaglia

The Communication Principle
Matthew Kelly

The Sacrifice of Compromise and Cooperation
tom walsh

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No matter what accomplishments you achieve, somebody helps you.

Althea Gibson

We don't know who we are until
we see what we can do.

Martha Grimes

Tonight I would like to talk to you about something really important to me.  I'm constantly meeting people and working with people.  And I'm becoming so very concerned because the people I meet are so wonderful and so beautiful, and yet they are afraid to show their wonder and show their beauty.  They are in constant doubt about being beautiful and wonderful.  If there is to be any hope for us as lovers, we've got to make sure to express this love and this caring and bring it out into the open and not be afraid.

So tonight, I would like to talk to those people who aren't sure yet and are a little bit reticent about being all that they are.

It's amazing--you may not realize it, but so much of what you are not is because you are literally standing in your own way of becoming.  And what I'm going to talk to you about tonight is, get the hell out of your way!  Fly, because it's all available to you!  And all you have to do is take the responsibility and do it.  But so many people don't trust themselves.  They don't even like themselves.

I was in the office recently--many of you know that I have a lot of things in my classes that are voluntarily mandatory.  And one of the things that is voluntarily mandatory is that everybody come to visit me.  Now, that isn't asking too much, and I get frightened people who com in all trembling.

And she said, "I don't have anything to say."

I said, "What do you mean?  Tell me about all your wonder."

She said, "Wonder?!"  And then there was a long pause, and she said, "Well, I'm too short."

That had never occurred to me until she told me.  And then I thought, well, I'll counteract with something good.  I said, "Yes, but you're a darn good student.  Do you know that you got an A on your mid-term?"

And she said, "Sheer luck."

How do you like that?

I said, "But you know that you're unique in all the world. . . ."

"Not me.  I'm not unique," she said.  "And besides, I'm not very good-looking, and not a lot of people seek me out.  And I'm lonely a lot of the time."

It occurred to me that if she really believes that she's short and ugly and stupid and has nothing to contribute, why would anybody seek her out?  Oh, did I work on that one!

When she walked out, she was four inches taller.  And if I ever see her lean over again, there's going to be hell to pay.

Jack Parr says a wonderful thing.  He says, "My life seems like one long obstacle course, with me as the chief obstacle."

Isn't that great?

I always love to mention the book Souls on Fire by Elie Wiesel.  It's a beautiful book, and he makes a statement I really love.  He says that when you die and you go to meet your Maker, you're not going to be asked why you didn't become a messiah or find a cure for cancer.  All you're going to be asked is, why didn't you become you?  Why didn't you become all that you are?

There are no two people in this audience who are alike.  Isn't that a message to tell you--that you are unique and you have something to say?  And isn't it a message that you have a right to say it before you leave the face of the earth?

How often have you heard yourself say, "I'm nothing"?  You're nothing if you think you're nothing. . . .

You are a miracle.  You have something to share that nobody else in the world has.  To keep that hidden because of self-defeating ideas is to die less than you are.  Don't let that happen.  Your greatest responsibility is to become everything that you are, not only for your benefit but for mine.

 Youth
Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind;
it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

   Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a body of twenty.  Nobody grows old merely by a number of years.  We grow old by deserting our ideals.

   Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.  Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

   Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living.  In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young.

   When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

The communication principle is, "Be clear, concise, open, and honest."

Communication is an art.  I have seen some great communicators at work.  These are some of the lessons I have learned:

Let others talk.

Avoid arguments.

Don't complain.

Give honest and sincere compliments.

Be more ready to compliment than to criticize.

Invite input.

Make a point to remember people's names; it is music to their ears.

Never be afraid to seek advice.

Never criticize someone in front of other people.

Be aware of other people's desires.

Find joy and pleasure through taking an interest in people.

Talk about yourself only if asked.

Smile--it is contagious and opens people's hearts.

Learn to listen.

Remember people's birthdays and anniversaries--it shows you care.

Encourage people to share about themselves.

Engage people where they are--talk in relation to their interests.

Help other people to discover their uniqueness, to feel special and important, without patronizing them.

Respect other people's opinions.

Admit when you are wrong.

Be kind and friendly to every person you meet.

Ask questions people respond to positively.

Encourage other people in their dreams--particularly children.

Try to see it from the other person's point of view.

Hold up ideals.

Challenge people gently.

Talk about your own failures.

Appeal to higher motives.

Always look for yourself in others and others in yourself--it affirms the oneness of the human family.

Affirm the highest values of the human spirit.

Never pass up an opportunity to speak a kind word of appreciation.  There are six billion people on the planet, and 5.9 billion of them go to bed every night starving for one honest word of appreciation.

* * * * *
  

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The Sacrifice of Compromise and Cooperation

I get very scared these days when I see the news and the headlines that concern our politicians these days.  I get afraid because it seems that we're witnessing the death of two concepts that have been extremely important in the creation and maintenance of one of the greatest countries in the world, a country that for years has provided millions of people with hope for better lives, better living conditions, better futures for themselves and children.  It seems that we've lost our way, and that we're no longer focused on working together to make the experiment that it our country work--rather, we're now focused on trying to make happen just what we think should happen, and using any means available to make sure that people who think different than we do are not able to fulfill their agendas.

This is especially true in politics, where Republicans and Democrats are so concerned about their party lines that they no longer seem to pay attention at all to the needs of their constituents, the people who elected them into office.  If I'm a Republican senator and eighty percent of the people in my state need something done, I'll get that something done only if it fits into the Republican agenda.  So what if tons of people are unemployed?  If my party's against a particular plan to fight unemployment, I'll be against it simply because my party is, not because I've studied the plan and find it to be detrimental to my constituents.  If I'm a Democrat and it looks like certain tax cuts may help my people, I'll still vote against them if my party is against them.

There are far too few people thinking for themselves these days.  I suppose that this is an inevitable result of the many years we've spent watching television and having our ideas and opinions fed to us by editorialists and other media people.  Unfortunately, though, the people who now are in charge of very important elements of our country seem to be unwilling or unable to think critically and search out the best options for the people they represent--instead, they pursue their own best interests and the perpetuation of their own careers over the welfare and well-being of the majority.

Far too often, it seems, it comes down to numbers.  If 54% of the people in my district are Republican, then I should be able to ensure re-election by voting a straight Republican ticket while I'm in office.  And if there's a danger that I won't be re-elected, then I'll do my best to have my district re-drawn so that the percentage of people who will support me will be greater.

The part that concerns me is that the voice of the common person no longer matters in this type of atmosphere.  If I send a letter to a senator or congressman about a certain issue, I'll really have no chance of convincing him or her to look at an issue objectively if that person's party already has taken a stand on the issue.  He or she will vote the party line in order to strengthen his or her own position in the party.

Throughout the history of this country, compromise and cooperation have been the hallmarks of our structure.  We've worked together no matter what our personal beliefs or attitudes because we've recognized something much more important exists:  the common good.  The common good can be served only by people who value other people and other people's opinions, and who vote with their consciences and objectively review any issue before actually voting on it, to be sure that they're voting for that greater good, and not for their own personal gain.

It frightens me when personal gain is the main criterion for voting a certain way.  It frightens me because the common good no longer matters, and it frightens me because of the lessons that we're teaching our children.  We teach them in school to be cooperative and to help each other out, yet we model for them a system that shows no value at all of compromise.

I'm not a big fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger, but he recently said something that I admire--he berated his fellow Republicans for attacking our president in order to make themselves look better, and called them hypocrites for saying that Obama's stimulus plans have created no jobs, while posing for photos with people who have had jobs created through those plans.  His main message was this--whether Democrat or Republican, we all should be helping the president to fix problems in the country, not attacking each other to try to make ourselves look better.

It seems that Scott Brown, a newly-elected Senator, is one of the few who take this idea to heart.  CNN writes, "Throughout his campaign to replace the late Sen. Ted Kennedy in the Senate, Brown indicated that he was an independent thinker whose main task was to represent the people of Massachusetts -- and not get involved in congressional politics."  One of his first actions in the Senate was to vote for a bill backed by Democrats, and many of his fellow Republicans lost no time in attacking him for doing so, simply because they expected him to oppose anything supported by any Democrats.  In other words, once you get elected and come to Washington, you're not expected to think for yourself any more.  And that's a very dangerous way of looking at the world.

I seriously hope that we're able to embrace compromise and cooperation as a people once again, one day.  Life is about helping each other, working together to achieve goals, no matter what our races, creeds, beliefs, or affiliations.  If we continue to fight each other all the time in order to try to improve our own standing, then just who are we helping?  We certainly aren't contributing to the greater good as most of us know it.

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If I had a formula for bypassing
trouble, I would not pass it round.
Trouble creates a capacity to handle
it.  I don't embrace trouble; that's
as bad as treating it as an enemy.
But I do say meet it as a friend, for
you'll see a lot of it and had better
be on speaking terms with it.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

The Arrow and the Song

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly as it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow