to get in touch with silence within yourself, and know
that everything in this life has purpose. There are no
no coincidences; all events are blessings given to us to
Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until
I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.
Sioux Indian Prayer
way of dealing with us is different from
conscience's way. Conscience commands; love inspires.
What we do out of love, we do because we want to.
wants to be happy. You want to be happy, and I want to be
happy. The human person has a natural thirst for
happiness, and we do the things we do because we believe they
will make us happy.
to time, people do stupid things. We may look at them and
scratch our heads. We may wonder, "Why would anybody
ever do something so stupid?" or, "Don't they know
that is going to make them miserable?" But be
assured, the reason people do stupid things is because they
mistakenly believe those stupid things will make them happy.
not wake up in the morning and ask themselves, "How can I
make myself miserable today?"
heart is on a quest for happiness. We give this happiness
different names and masks, and we live our lives in search of
the great modern paradox: We know the things that make us
happy; we just don't do them.
* * * * *
four aspects to the human person: physical, emotional,
intellectual, and spiritual.
when you exercise regularly, sleep regularly, eat the right sorts
of foods, and balance your diet, how do you feel? You feel
fantastic. You feel more fully alive. You're
healthier, happier, and you have a richer, more abundant
experience of life.
when you focus and give priority to your relationships, what
happens? You switch the focus off yourself and onto
others. As you do, your ability to love increases. .
. and as your ability to love increases, your ability to
be loved increases. You become more aware of yourself,
develop a more balanced view of life, and experience a deeper
sense of fulfillment. You're healthier. You're
when you take ten or fifteen minutes a day to read a good book,
what happens? Your vision of yourself expands; your vision
of the world expands. You become more focused, more alert,
and more vibrant. Clarity replaces confusion. You feel
more fully alive, and you are happier.
spiritually, when you take a few moments each day to step into the
classroom of silence and reconnect with yourself and with your
God, what happens? The gentle voice within grows stronger,
and you develop a deeper sense of peace, purpose, and
direction. You're healthier, you're happier, and you have a
richer experience of life.
emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually, we know the things
that infuse our lives with passion and enthusiasm. We know
the things that make us happy. We just don't do them.
make sense, does it?
On the one
hand, we all want to be happy. On the other hand, we all
know the things that make us happy. But we don't do those
things. Why? Simple. We are too busy. Too
busy doing what? Too busy trying to be happy.
This is the
paradox of happiness that has bewildered our age.
don't exercise regularly because we're too busy. We don't
eat the right types of food, because they take too long to
prepare, it's too easy to go through the drive-through, and we're
sleep regularly because there are still only twenty-four hours in
a day. We feel as though our lives have a momentum of their
own, that they would go on with or without us. Our list of
the things we have to do just gets longer and longer. We
never feel that we get caught up; we just get more and more behind
every day. Seriously, when was the last time you sat down,
took a deep breath, and said to yourself, "I'm caught up
now!" So we rush around late at night doing fifty-five
little things before we go to bed and robbing ourselves of the
precious sleep that rebuilds and rejuvenates us. Why?
We are too busy.
don't even take those ten or fifteen minutes each day to read good
books that challenge us to change, to grow, and to become
the-best-version-of-ourselves. Why? We don't have
time. We are too busy.
people very rarely step into the classroom of silence to reconnect
with themselves and their God. Why? We are afraid of
what we might discover about ourselves and about our lives.
We are afraid we might be challenged to change. And we are
* * * * *
It begs the
question, doesn't it? What are we all too busy doing?
most part, we are too busy doing just about everything that means
just about nothing, to just about nobody, just about anywhere. . .
and it will mean even less to anyone a hundred years from now!
the gospel according to Kelly: Find a life-changing rhythm
by choosing a central purpose and becoming "the best
version of yourself." Kelly makes thoughtful
distinctions. He contrasts the difference between
doing and having, the legitimate need for health and
happiness with the illegitimate desire for expensive toys
and the pursuit of minimalism vs. excellence. Then
he gets specific, offering five questions about life's
meaning, three instruments for anchoring your life and ten
principles of excellence.
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Physical Channel of Intuition
Have you ever had a tight stomach before an
important meeting, a pain in the neck after a
confrontation, grinding teeth when you're chewing
over a dilemma, or a frog in your throat before
making a presentation? That's your body trying to
tell you something! Physical cues like these are
screaming, "Pay attention to me!"
Listening and becoming aware of the messages your
body sends is pivotal when you begin to cultivate
Sometimes it's your entire body that gets the
message. Marie was having a job interview, and she
thought it was going quite well. But as soon as the
interviewer mentioned hiring her for full-time
employment, her body just wanted to get up and run
away. She had to hold herself down to keep from
jumping out of her chair. Fortunately, she paid
attention to this warning and asked for time to
think over the offer. Her discomfort stayed with her
for the entire day, so she turned down the offer –
even though she really needed the work.
Weeks later, a friend who did take that job told
her she was very unhappy with this incredibly
disorganized company. Marie's body knew this way
ahead of her logical mind.
Writer and producer Arielle Ford, author of Hot
Chocolate for the Mystical Lover, told me about
a client who wanted her to do a big project
involving huge sums of money. After the meeting,
Arielle had a sick feeling. She somehow knew that
working with this man would be a nightmare. She
canceled the deal, and others later validated her
intuitive assessment – he really was a pain to
Many people literally get intuitive input from
their gut or stomach. Writer Ray Bradbury said we
can stay well if we pay more attention to our
stomachs. The late J. Peter Grace, chairman of W R.
Grace & Company, said simply that intuition
"is what your stomach tells you." For
Bradbury, Grace, and many other people, the
"gut feeling" -- which emanates from the
stomach or solar plexus -- acts as an intuitive
The late Brandon Tartikoff, whose genius at
television programming is legendary, was called the
"man with the golden gut" because of his
unerring ability to pick successful shows. Since
executives in the entertainment field are immersed
in a fast-moving and ever-changing industry, it is
not surprising that people who rise to the top are
highly intuitive. That is the only way they can
Daniel Goleman's work on emotional intelligence
indicates that emotional skills like self-awareness,
empathy, motivation, and paying attention to gut
feelings will contribute more to your well-being and
success than your intellect or technical expertise.
An integral part of emotional intelligence is
knowing what you're feeling -- which includes
noticing your gut feelings or intuition about
important life decisions.
After a decade of research, Goleman has isolated
a large class of neurotransmitters, or brain
chemicals called peptides, which were first
discovered in the gut. He says, "They're
identical mates to brain-cell receptors, and that
means that what's working in large parts of the
brain is also active in the gut, and the central
nervous system is wiring the two together. So it's
not really a surprise that gut feeling should be a
way you get "messages."
Begin now to become aware of your body's
messages. Notice, for example, when your stomach
feels tight or heavy, your lower back hurts, your
knee feels locked in place and can't move, or your
gums ache. Ask yourself what's going on at that
moment or in your life. Are you facing an unsettling
decision at work, in relationships, in your personal
Begin to connect these bodily sensations to
messages from your mind, heart, or soul. This is
called making the mind-body connection. Sometimes
they send messages in the form of puns, as dreams
often do. If my neck abruptly begins to ache, for
example, I ask myself, "Who's the pain in my
neck annoying me right now?"
Start noting these instances in a journal to keep
track of the correlation between these body
bulletins and what's happening in your life. As you
begin to become aware, you'll probably notice that
you respond more quickly and appropriately.
on intuition means heeding one's premonitions,
paying attention to an inner voice, and
responding to what seem like creative bolts
from the blue. When people feel
uncertain -- in their jobs or their
relationships -- it's often because they're
not seeing the range of options that intuition
can provide. After explaining
intuition's basic principles, Marcia Emery
takes readers through a personal training
course, helping them to develop their
intuitive muscle and teaching them how to
incorporate hunches into daily life.
are no secrets of success.
is doing the things you know
you should do.
Success is not doing the things you know
do. Success is not limited
to any one area of your life.
all the facets of your relationships: as parent, as wife or husband, as citizen,
neighbor, worker and all of the others. Success is not confined to any one part
of your personality but is related to
the development of all
body, mind, heart and spirit.
It is making
the most of your total self.
Wilferd A. Peterson
of the most interesting behavioral traits that I
notice in people (myself included, obviously) is our
tendency to ignore common sense in situations that
call for it. I've watched people play around
on the edge of six-hundred-foot cliffs at the Grand
Canyon, acting as if there's no danger at all
involved in doing so. And they do this in
spite of the great amount of documentation about
people who have died doing just what they're doing.
see countless people talking on cell phones and
texting while driving on crowded city streets, even
though there's tons of evidence that this is a very
dangerous practice, and even though thousands of
people a year are killed by the practice, including
many innocent people in other vehicles.
see people in relationships with others who mistreat
and abuse them, and who stay in those relationships
despite all the evidence that things simply aren't
going to get better.
all of these cases, it seems to me, people are using
their own thoughts and logic to contradict what
seems to be pretty strong common sense: if
there's danger involved, if someone could get hurt
by what I'm doing, then I probably shouldn't do it.
sense seems to be dying, though, in the world.
We're so bombarded by information and hints from
other people and even automated systems that tell us
what to do and when to do it, that we seem to be
losing the ability to think for ourselves and do
what's most practical, situation by situation.
We're losing our pragmatism as more and more people
convince us that we need the cell phones,
that we need the text messaging, that we need
the GPS systems for our vehicles (and even to wear
when we're running or biking).
these people are selling us, though, is
convenience. Their marketing tells us that
they're selling us necessities, but in truth, the
most helpful thing that we can develop in our
lives--and it doesn't cost a cent to do so--is
common sense. The best thing that we can do
for ourselves is to learn from the people who have
been there and who have done that--learn ways to
cope that we can use in many situations, learn
problem-solving techniques that work in many ways,
learn critical thinking skills that will help us to
differentiate between things that are good for us
and things that aren't.
we do learn these things, though, we're not playing
into the hands of those people who want to make
money from us by selling us solutions, by taking
care of our problems for us, by selling us
convenience. For example, study after study
shows that car alarms provide no real deterrence to
car thieves--they're basically expensive add-ons
that are ineffective. Yet how many people
continue to spend money on them, not thinking about
alternatives once someone brings up the idea of the
alarm to them? So if you're a person who wants
to sell car alarms, do you want people to be able to
think through the possibility and examine the
alternatives? Quite simply, no, you don't.
sense can help us in many different areas of our
lives. In relationships, common sense says
that we should treat people well if we expect to be
treated well in return. If we do treat people
well, guess what? Common sense says that if
something seems too good to be true, it probably
is. But how many people succumb to scams that
make them lose money and possessions? Common
sense says that if you can't afford something, you
shouldn't buy it. That way, we preserve our
financial stability. Common sense says that we
should eat enough to keep us healthy, no more and no
less. But many people end up eating more than
they need, or less, and end up being very unhealthy
because they ignored their common sense.
sense, in the end, is simply a matter of trusting
ourselves and acting on that trust. It's
especially effective if we learn and practice to
think for ourselves instead of being reactive
thinkers. That way, we learn to trust our
thoughts because we know the motivation behind
them. We truly never can know the motivations
behind the thoughts of others, no matter how much we
I could ask for one gift to get me through life
happily and in good health, it would be common
sense. It's sad to see so many people not just
ignoring common sense, but not even considering it
as a possible source of answers to their questions
and dilemmas. No matter what the world tells
us about how we should think, though, we always can
reclaim that authentic part of ourselves that knows
what's right and wrong, and that can see clearly the
best directions to take based simply on common
At age 4, success is not peeing in your
At age 12, success is having friends.
At age 16, success is having a driver's
At age 20, success is having sex.
At age 35,
success is having money.
age 40, success is finding meaning and purpose to life.
age 45, success is finding meaning and purpose to life.
At age 50,
success is having money.
At age 60, success is having sex.
At age 70, success is having a driver's
At age 75, success is having friends.
At age 80, success is not peeing in your pants.
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
Untold Truth about Mentors, and Why You DON'T Need
think there is a misconception about what a mentor
truly is. A mentor is someone who guides you,
someone wise, someone you trust. A mentor can
be your confidant, advisor, coach, or even your role
model. Many people swear by their mentors and
frequently credit them with much of their success.
Yet you do not have to choose just one! The
mentor-protégé bond is certainly a special one,
but this does not mean you are limited to the
knowledge of only a single source. In the
early years of my adult life, I was hoping to find
just one person to guide me and direct me, but I
never did find that person.
Over time, a few things became clear to me:
1. There is no single person who can provide
us with every answer. So why abide by one
mentor who you know cannot meet every
requirement? I discovered that I could learn
more not by following the advice of a single person,
but by observing a multitude of people.
2. There is no perfect role model. I
used to believe there was such a person and that I
would simply model myself after him. All I
would have to do is watch and do the things he or
she did. Unfortunately, I haven't met that
3. There is no perfect person. Very few
people possess all of the qualities that I think
define success and happiness: great friends,
career, health, family life, finances, social life,
leisure, spiritual life, community involvement,
etc. Most of the very successful people I've
met had one or some of these, but hardly any had all
of them. So why compare myself to the perfect
person who doesn't exist?
4. I didn't have all of the answers, and I
never will. I knew that I was going to make
mistakes, but what I discovered was that it was much
easier to learn from other people's mistakes than to
make all of the mistakes myself.
To me, my mentor had to:
--- Take a personal interest in my development and
support me in the avenues I take.
--- Help me strive toward the highest of
aspirations, not only in career but in the
satisfaction of life.
--- Want to share his knowledge and experiences, in
hope that I reach a high level of achievement.
Show me the need to fulfill all responsibilities,
both at home and away from it.
--- Care about the well-being of himself and his
--- Be a great overall example.
Needless to say, I still haven't found that one
Since I couldn't find that one special person to
guide me, I needed to create a mentor. Now,
how does one go about doing something like
that? Well, it's not as hard as it
seems. You first have to determine what you
want. That is most important, not only because
it's part of the mentor process but because it
directly concerns what will make you happy in life.
Once you figure out what you want, find the people
that have it or know how to get it and make sure
they are willing to teach you how to get it.
You don't even have to know them personally.
As your mentors, they can teach you through a
variety of ways: books, audio tapes, lectures,
seminars, etc. A mentor then can have millions
Here is some additional advice in finding mentors:
1. You can learn from practically
anybody. In essence, anybody can be your
mentor. Not only can you learn what to do or
how to behave, you can also learn to avoid the wrong
paths that others have followed.
2. Identify the key people in your life.
Mentors can be close family members like parents or
siblings, and they can also be public figures.
Again, don't believe that you have to have a close
relationship with your mentors. Public figures
can be key people in your life because they can have
a profound effect on how you live it.
3. Find people with specialized
knowledge. If certain people have written an
insightful book on a particular subject or have
inspirational life experiences to share, then they
might be possible mentors who can help in motivating
you. Plus, if they are famous, they are easy
to watch via television or the Internet, and their
material is not difficult to find.
4. Try to ask as much as possible. Ask
people for advice, ask them how they got where they
are, ask them how you can get the same things.
Also ask yourself what certain people would say or
how they would act in specific situations. The
more prepared you are, the less likely you'll make a
mistake in the future.
5. Mentors can simply be people who are happy
in life! Salary and position don't matter as
long as there is contentment and commitment.
Mentors can range from athletes and politicians to
religious figures and stay-at-home mothers.
I have hundreds of mentors. So how many do you
© Self Improvement Online, Inc. David Riklan
is the author of Self Improvement: The Top 101
Experts Who Help Us Improve Our Lives, an
Encyclopedia on Self-Improvement with information,
quotes, excerpts and bios on many experts, such as
Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Dr. Phil and Brian Tracy.
looks at the world through the eyes of love. If we,
as human beings made in the image of God also want
to see reality rationally, that is, as it truly is, then we,
too, must learn to look at what we see with love.